


Seduction

by justlittleoldunkillableme (AmbecaWatson)



Series: Seduction - Ascension - Completion Universe [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Asexual Lucas, Blasphemy, Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel, Coming of Age, Crossdressing, Daddy Kink, Dom Dean, Dom/sub Play, Dry Humping, Felching, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Intercrural Sex, Lingerie, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Pain Kink, Phone Sex, Rimming, Rough Sex, Seduction, Size Difference, Size Kink, Sneaking Around, Spanking, Stomach Bulge, Sub Castiel, Tension, Twink Castiel, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-04-05 16:00:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 45
Words: 127,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4185999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbecaWatson/pseuds/justlittleoldunkillableme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teen Cas has a crush on his best friend's father and won't rest until he has him for his very own. But he hadn't anticipated the consequences that both of them have to face to keep their highly complex situation a secret and how it changes both of them as they dive headlong into a taboo relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [assbuttintheimpala](https://archiveofourown.org/users/assbuttintheimpala/gifts).



> This contains underage sex. Cas is 15 years old in the beginning, which is definitely old enough to consent and pull all the stops to seduce Dean. There is also a lot of kink exploration and dramatic plot.

Castiel loved going over to his friend Lucas’ place. He and Lucas had been friends ever since they had started middle school and their friendship grew even closer when they both made the high school swimming team. 

Being on the team was so much harder than in middle school, they had to train longer and since he and Lucas were the best on the team, the coach expected much from them. Now, she was gonna send them to competitions where they sometimes had to drive several hours to get there. They usually won practically everything that either of them competed on after they had moved past regional level.

Castiel’s family didn’t have as much money as Lucas’ dad had, so they couldn’t afford to pay a membership for the local pool for Cas, let alone have a pool at home. For Lucas on the other hand, it was completely different, because his father worked some high profile management job, Cas didn’t really understand what it was, he only knew that his father earned a lot of money. It showed everywhere; their house was about twice the size of Cas’ and they had their own pool in the basement.

Almost every day, Cas came over and after finishing their homework, he and Lucas raced themselves in the pool for hours until Lucas’ father came home and made them get out of it to have dinner.

It was a good routine, Lucas’ dad always brought enough food for three when he came home and he really liked it when Cas was over. He never breathed a bad word about it or asked Cas to come here less often.

“Gotta work hard if you wanna be the best, kiddo,” he grinned and had ruffled through Cas’ hair.

Cas had thought that ‘hard’ was the operative word here, because Lucas’ father, Dean Winchester, was just a drop dead gorgeous individual and Cas didn’t know what he loved best at Lucas’ house. The enormous pool, the space and all the gadgets that Lucas had, or staring at Dean.

Dean was in his late 30s, and had been married to Lucas’ mom for several years before she died. Now it had been only him and Lucas for as long as Cas knew them. Dean hadn’t remarried and ever since he had found one of Dean’s magazines in the bathroom with naked, just 18 year old boys in it, he kinda knew why. He had stolen the magazine and jerked off to it, every night for two weeks, always thinking how Dean would look when he fucked one of those boys. Now whenever he was over here, he couldn’t stop his mind racing whenever he saw the older man, wondering what he looked like without his clothes off, or how his lips would feel on his. How his cock would taste when Cas sucked it, or how it would feel to have Dean fuck him.

He couldn’t help thinking about it, and whenever he saw the clock tick to 6 and he knew that Dean would come down to announce that he was back and had brought dinner, he felt himself harden.

When they were eating, Cas would stare at him, for the entirety of the meal, because despite Dean’s refined posture and the fact that he was always wearing formal clothes for work, whenever he ate, he did it with almost indecent enthusiasm of a savage.

Cas watched him wriggle his mouth as deep as he could into a sandwich to get a good mouthful of it, and his cock twitched as he thought that Dean would eat his ass with just the same enthusiasm.

Sometimes, Dean caught the boy's eyes, but he never commented on his doubtlessly hooded gaze and his tongue coming out to wet his lips when he felt the older man’s gaze on him.

If Cas could be trusted to judge Dean’s expression, he would have said that he wasn’t all that calm whenever he looked at him either, while Lucas never noticed anything about the tension in the kitchen. He happily told his father about school, about his new game, or how he had beaten Cas at the last lapse today.

After a few months of this tension, Cas decided that he would have to act if he ever wanted to know for sure what was going on. It seemed like the perfect timing when Lucas’ father had brought pizza for once. Usually he brought pretty healthy stuff, but this time he smirked at both boys and put a finger to his lips, winking conspiratorially.

“Don’t tell your coach,” he grinned and like so often, his gaze caught Cas’ and held it for too long to be appropriate. 

They had eaten pizza that night and Cas just knew that today was the night he would take this further. He ate extra messy for once, so that he had to lap tomato sauce off his mouth at almost every bite and actually moaned while he chewed.

Lucas laughed at him: “Cas, it’s not thaaat good.”

“It is though,” Cas grinned back, while Dean watched the interaction, apparently not even realising how he teased his tongue over the opening of his beer bottle before he took a sip.

Cas felt himself swelling when he imagined that it wasn’t the opening of a beer bottle that Dean stuck his tongue in, but the slit of his cock. He imagined that the neck of the bottle was his shaft as he saw Dean’s hand stroking over it, and that the perspiration of the glass was Dean’s spit and Cas’ own precome. 

By now, sitting was uncomfortable for Cas because he was just so hard. He needed Dean to fuck him asap, no matter how and where. 

He pressed his pizza slice until some liquid ran off the topping and down to Cas’ wrist and he kept eye contact with Dean as he brought his tongue out to lap it up, half closing his eyes and moaning again when he licked it off.

Dean just stared at him, and with glee, Cas realised that Dean stroked over his beer bottle without seeming to realise it, as Cas now sucked more of the residue off his skin. Dean actually flinched at the kissing noise of Cas’ lips popping off his skin.

Cas kept teasing until he finished his slice, at long last sucking each of his fingers into his mouth to clean them and then he debated with himself if he should grab another slice. But then Dean got up to get himself another beer and he saw that he had already reached his desired result.

Dean’s slacks left little to the imagination as he tried to shift in his pants without being too obvious, but for a moment, Cas could clearly see the hard outline of Dean’s dick on his suit trousers and his mouth watered at it.

“Hey, Cas?” Lucas just asked and startled Cas out of his lusting musings about how big Dean’s cock would feel inside him.

“Yes?” he answered and tried to keep his eyes off Dean to concentrate on his friend.

“Wanna have a sleep over on the weekend? The big tournament is just coming up and we could use some more training. He can stay over, can’t he, Dad?” 

“Sure,” Dean tried to stay nonchalant, as he uncapped another beer, but Cas could clearly see Dean’s hand shaking and his cheeks being flushed as hell, as he took a fresh sip of beer.

“Great, this is gonna be awesome,” Lucas smiled and clapped Cas’ back. “Dude, there is this new game I gotta show you.”

Cas nodded, but then his gaze found Dean again: “Will you also be here?”

“Yep. Though I’m gonna have to work, so just pretend as if I’m not there, ok?”

“Ah, but you gotta try that new game too. I bet some fun is gonna go down,” Cas smirked, emphasising the words ‘go down’, so that Dean spluttered out a bit of beer while Lucas happily continued to talk about the game we was gonna show Cas.

Seriously, the boy was so innocent sometimes, Cas thought. But then again, he admitted that not everyone could follow their best friend’s dad with their eyes as they left the kitchen with the excuse that they had to work now.

“So, you’ll come over after school on Friday and we’ll spend the weekend here, ok?” Lucas just went on, because it was now high time for Cas to get home and he wanted this settled beforehand.

“Yes, sounds good. I’m just gonna use the bathroom before I go home. See you tomorrow.”

“Bye Cas,” Lucas said as Cas left the kitchen too.

When Cas tapped down the hall with his backpack on and his swimming gear in a shoulder bag, he heard a soft noise out of the bathroom.

He pressed an ear to the door and heard another small moan. Since Lucas and Dean lived alone and Lucas was still stuffing himself with pizza in the kitchen, it could only be Dean in there.

“Fuck,” Cas heard him say and then he flinched when Dean said his name out loud: “Oh, Cas.” 

Then he realised that Dean couldn’t see him on the other side of the door and he added 2 and 2. Dean was masturbating in the bathroom while thinking about him. 

He opened the door a bit, really quietly and then he saw Dean, having another one of those magazines open on the counter, his dress shirt tugged out of his trousers and his ass obviously thrusting his dick into his fist.

Cas couldn’t see how the boy on the page looked like, he hoped he looked even a tiny bit like he did, because Dean’s head moved up involuntarily and he moaned Cas’ name again as his movements inside his trousers stilled. Cas could clearly see in the mirror how beautiful the older man’s face looked as he orgasmed. 

He didn’t want to let Dean know that he had seen everything, so he quietly pulled the door shut again and then immediately knocked on it. 

“Is everything alright in there, Mr. Winchester?”

He heard some quick movements, a muttered ‘son of a bitch’ as paper shuffled and something fell down.

A minute later, Dean opened the bathroom door, his face an ocean of bliss after his orgasm, as he tried to say calmly: “Yeah, everything’s alright. Do you need to go?”

His hands still shook and his breathing went very fast, so even if Cas hadn’t seen him jerk off, he wouldn’t have been fooled the slightest bit, particularly because Dean had forgotten to tug his shirt back in and the button of his trousers was still open.

“No, I don’t really. I can wait until I get home,” Cas said, his gaze fixed on Dean’s crotch, before he looked up again and smirked, telling Dean without words that he knew. “Goodnight, Mr. Winchester.”

“Goodnight, Cas,” Dean answered and his voice hitched over the name he had just shouted out during orgasm.


	2. Chapter 2

Cas wasn’t over the next few days but soon, Friday came and Cas went home with Lucas after school, taking a few laps in the pool like always. Now that he was here again, he couldn’t stop thinking about Dean, and what he had done the last time he was here.

Cas had masturbated to Dean every night, sometimes twice, the memory of Dean’s face as his name rolled off his lips when he came too good to be true.

After their swim, he and Lucas went into the living room to play, but Cas couldn’t really concentrate, so that his ninja always lost his head after an embarrassingly short amount of time and Lucas always groaned when he had to start over. After Cas hadn’t paid attention the third time, his friend switched the game to one player mode and told Cas to watch and learn while he slaughtered all his opponents.

Cas had nodded, but he really hadn’t paid much attention to what Lucas was doing or what kill sure combinations of buttons he showed him. He listened sharply for sounds of Dean coming home.

He didn’t have to wait long, soon they heard his voice from the entrance hall.

“Boys, you here?”

“Living room, dad.”

A minute later, Dean’s head peeked into the room and even though it had only been a few days since Cas had seen him, he was overwhelmed by how beautiful he looked as wrinkles appeared around his eyes when he smiled at them. Fuck, Cas wanted him so much, he could hardly breathe.

“You having fun?” Dean asked and Cas answered in his mind: ‘Not as much fun as we’ll have once you fuck me. And you _will_ fuck me.’

“Yeah, but Cas is hopeless. Can you help me, Dad? Those enemy ninjas just aren’t going down,” Lucas emphasised his words with violent pushing of the buttons.

Dean chuckled and the sound went directly into Cas’ crotch as he said: “Yeah sure, what do I have to do?” and with a groan, Dean sat down onto the ground next to Lucas while Cas looked on from up on the couch.

“Cas, can you show dad the combinations? I kinda have to kill those sons-a-bitches here.”

Dean only chuckled, but didn’t reprimand Lucas for his cussing, he was just way too cool for that.

Cas smirked as he scooted up behind Dean, framing the older man’s back with his thighs to either side as he bent down and showed him the combinations he still remembered.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean croaked, as Cas pressed his thighs into his sides and his cheek grazed over Dean’s stubbly 5 o’clock shadow.

Suddenly, Cas was a lot more invested in the game as he pressed himself close to Dean’s back, rasping into his ear: “Those combinations are a lot more easy to do when two people press the buttons.”

He felt Dean flinch, just when he realised that the hard hotness that pressed itself into his back now, was Cas’ hard cock.

“Guys, pay attention, your ninja is about to lose his head again,” Lucas shouted.

Afterwards, Dean and Cas frantically pressed the buttons, while Cas pretended to be so excited about the game that he humped back and forth against Dean’s back, effectively rubbing his cock against the older man’s skin there.

“Ok, final battle,” Lucas announced and Dean blinked, sighing in relief that Cas would soon stop humping him, so that he could collect his wits again. But Cas only smirked deviously and humped Dean further, adding little breathy moans whenever his dick made contact. Dean’s breath hitched when Cas continued to pant into his ear, while a noticeable shiver ran down his back and Cas saw goosebumps rise on the part of Dean’s neck he could see above the collar of his shirt.

Cas moved his nose against Dean’s skin, smelling a mix of aftershave, faint traces of sweet sweat and over all something that was just so entirely Dean. The older man closed his eyes when he felt Cas move against him like that and the boy was just about to press a kiss to his neck, when they were startled by Lucas doing a war dance because his ninja had won the final battle. Dean’s and Cas’ ninja lay on the ground, again headless and Dean carefully pulled away from Cas, while Lucas was still too much filled with the joy of victory to notice what Cas had been doing with his father.

“Yay, high five, buddy,” Dean uprighted himself and Cas once again saw that Dean was raging hard.

“I just _have_ to go again, that was so awesome,” Lucas grinned.

“Ok, you crazy kids. Don’t stay up too late though,” Dean said and cast a nervous glance back at Cas, before he left the living room.

“Where’s he going?” Cas asked.

“Probably to take a swim,” Lucas shrugged. “Dad always goes swimming before bed, or in the early morning. Dude, your ninja is dead again!” he tried to draw Cas’ attention back to the game. “I don’t understand it, when you played with dad, you were good.”

“Yeah, sorry. I don’t think I’m really concentrated.”

“It’s ok, buddy. I can do it alone, you can just go up into my room and watch a movie or so, or do a bit of training. I’m sure you need it.”

Usually, Cas would have bantered with Lucas a little at that, but he had basically just given Cas a free pass to go to Dean, so he just nodded and searched for a fresh pair of swimming trunks.

He tapped down to the pool and saw that Lucas was right, Dean was in here.

He watched Dean for a while; the older man jumped into the water from the starting block and then swam one lap at his fastest speed, before he repeated the process.

Cas felt his mouth water when Dean heaved himself out of the water and drops of it glistened on his toned, tanned body. He had never seen Dean as naked as this, and he felt himself overwhelmed with lust when he saw the curve of his butt in his swimwear, his shoulder muscles playing over his back as he walked back to the block and his legs straining as he walked.

Cas watched him for a couple of minutes, just knowing by the aggressive way that Dean parted the water, that he was trying to work his sexual frustration out, which wouldn’t happen if Cas had anything to say about it.

He lowered himself into the water at the nearer end of the basin and waited until Dean came up to him once more. Once Dean caught sight of Cas, he flinched, but then tried to grin.

“Hey, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean,” Cas purred, and let his eyes explore Dean’s body as he heaved himself out of the water once more.

Dean didn’t question why Cas called him Dean now, he only tried to hide that his cock was swelling again under Cas’ gaze of his body.

Cas caught Dean’s eye and licked his lips as he said: “I was wondering if you’d race me? I still need a bit of training,” and then he let his gaze fall to Dean’s obvious erection as he heard a rasped answer.

“Yeah, sure.”

Cas looked up again, getting out of the water himself and moving towards the starting blocks in front of Dean, swaying his hips invitingly while he was absolutely sure that Dean watched him.

They raced each other a couple of times and Cas upped his game every time they walked back to the beginning. He played over the band of his trunks, wiped drops off his shoulders nonchalantly, or stroked all ten fingers through his wet hair. Every time, he heard the sharp intake of Dean’s breath behind him, but he never raised a hand to touch him.

On their fifth time around, Cas let Dean win on purpose, because he wanted to see him smile again.

“Haha, I won,” he said and Cas saw exactly the happy smile he had wanted as he swam towards him, keeping eye contact.

“Yes, you did,” he said as he crowded in on him while Dean’s grin was replaced by a wanton expression. “Congratulations, you’re the luckiest swimmer of the evening,” Cas said and got closer and closer, Dean not knowing whether to stay or go and slowly treading water until he reached the wall of the pool and had nowhere to go anymore.

Cas still swam closer and braced his hands next to Dean’s body, grinding his cock against Dean’s, so the older man hissed in pleasure.

“You deserve a price for winning,” Cas said, using the up thrust of the water to slide against Dean’s body with force.

“Yeah, and what would that be?” Dean rasped, trying not to grab Cas and just ravish him.

“Me,” Cas purred and moved closer, looking at Dean through hooded eyes and bringing their mouths closer together.

“Cas,” Dean whispered. “This is… uh…”, he couldn’t focus anymore with the teenager grinding against him.

“Mhmm,” Cas purred and let his hand glide over Dean’s strong chest muscles now, moaning pleasurably when Dean’s skin felt about a thousand times better than he had hoped for.

“I think I gotta get some work done now,” Dean announced, and captured Cas’ wrist as he kneaded his muscle.

“Really?” Cas asked with a pout, pressing into Dean’s crotch once more to show him that he couldn’t fool him in any way.

“Yeah, really,” Dean stroked over Cas’ arms shakingly, to let him down gently but firmly, as he heaved himself out of the pool once more.

Cas was a bit angry, but he wouldn’t give up now. He was gonna have Dean even if it took more convincing.

“Do you want a towel?” Dean asked with his back to him, while he dried himself off.

“Yes, please,” Cas said and suddenly had an idea.

He didn’t take the towel had Dean was holding at him, but waited until he turned around.

“Uh, Cas… where are your trunks?” Dean asked when he turned around and his eyes made a beeline to Cas’ unclothed cock.

“I stripped them off,” Cas said and finally took the towel from Dean, drying himself quickly while Dean’s eyes never left his body.

“Do you always strip off in front of other people?” Dean asked, just a tiny bit irritated, not so much at Cas, but at himself for not being able to behave around the boy.

Cas shrugged: “Always. In the changing rooms you don’t really have any privacy anyway.”

He took a hold of his cock and carefully dried it, closing his eyes at the friction of his own hand and the towel and then catching Dean’s eyes again who took everything that Cas was doing in.

“Uh… you know that’s not really appropriate what you’re doing there?” he frowned, but his blush and wanton expression betrayed him.

“You know what’s also not appropriate, Dean?” Cas asked while he kept getting closer and never stopped jacking his cock.

“No, what?” Dean’s breath hitched when he looked down at Cas who was a bit smaller than him.

“Jerking off to your son’s best friend in a bathroom and then not taking him when he offers himself,” Cas purred and caught Dean’s gaze, biting his lower lip when the head of his cock poked against Dean’s hips.

“What?” Dean blushed furiously and grabbed Cas’ shoulders as if he wanted to hold him off.

“You don’t need to pretend, Dean. I saw you, and I heard you say my name when you came,” Cas fumbled at Dean’s swimming trunks now, pulling them down his legs until he could see Dean’s raging hard on.

“Cas, I-” Dean tried to catch his breath and he pressed at him in a way that clearly said that he wanted to push him away, but then he hissed when Cas’ cock poked against his own and he looked down at their erections playing over each other.

Cas captured both their cocks in his hand and thrust up against Dean, whose breath hitched once again, his hand wandering up to Cas’ neck and pressing his eyes closed once, before he moaned out: “Ah, fuck it,” and pressed his lips hot and urgent against Cas’.

He moaned as he thrust his cock into Cas’ fist, only stopping to kiss the boy for a quick: “Don’t stop. Keep going,” before he stuck his tongue into Cas’ mouth again.

Cas was in heaven as he felt Dean’s hot length in his fist, Dean’s tongue in his mouth and his nipples hitching against Dean’s in the slide of their bodies against each other.

“Fuck,” Cas bit out, sucking on Dean’s bottom lip as he came because it was all just too much for him and Dean followed him only moments later.

He wanted to let go of Cas, who wouldn’t have it, and let his smaller hand rest on Dean’s face now as he moaned and leaned in for another kiss.

Dean was reluctant to respond at first, because if he did, then he couldn’t pretend that this was over now.

But Cas moaned so prettily for him, following his mouth wherever he moved and was so happily exploring Dean’s body with their come still all over his hand that Dean let himself be pulled into the intoxicating embrace of the teenager.

“I want you so much, Dean,” Cas whispered at him, innocence painted over his face, but yet so determined that Dean felt himself called as if by a siren. Fuck, if his ship would crash against rocks, he was gonna fuck the jailbait if it was the last thing he did.

He showed no reluctance anymore, crowding in on the boy himself now, pressing him against the wall and hoisting his legs up, lifting the smaller body, so Cas was at perfect fucking level for him.

“You want me, boy? Want me to fuck you?” Dean groaned and kissed his way down Cas’ neck, teasing his tongue over the boy’s skin.

“Yes. Oh yes, please,” Cas moaned and clawed at Dean’s back as he felt fingers dip in-between his asscheeks.

“You get off on older man?” Dean asked, lowering his head so much that he captured Cas’ nipple between his teeth.

“Men who could be your father?” he asked before he did the same to Cas’ second nipple while the boy felt himself harden again.

“Fuck yeah,” Cas panted as Dean’s fingers lightly teased over his asshole, in a phrase he had picked up when he had once stumbled upon porn on the PC they had at home.

“Look at you. So innocent and yet so dirty,” Dean groaned and then dipped his tongue back into Cas’ mouth, who let out pleased little gasps as the older man massaged his pucker while he tonguefucked his mouth.

Cas’ smaller hands found the sides of Dean’s neck as he bounced on his fingers, lapping into his mouth, clashing together so their teeth clicked together before he moved his tongue in little butterfly movements that had Dean keen against him.

“Oh, Daddy,” Cas moaned when he parted their lips and adjusted a bit. “I need you to fuck me so hard that I feel it for days. Take my cherry, Daddy.”

“Oh fuck,” Dean said breathlessly, moving against Cas while the tip of his index finger dipped into Cas’ hole. “You’re a virgin?”

“Not anymore,” Cas smiled.

“I’m going to hell,” Dean uttered tonelessly, but didn’t stop moving against Cas.

“If you are, I’ll be with you every step of the way. Taking your cock like a good little boy,” Cas panted.

Dean let himself be pulled back into a kiss until they flinched when they heard Lucas shout from upstairs.

“Hey, dudes. Get up here. Dinner!”

Dean and Cas stilled, both with kiss swollen lips, the tip of Dean’s index finger still up Cas’ hole and the boy’s legs still hoisted over his hips.

“Can’t we just ignore him?” Cas asked huffish, the sex so close he could already taste it.

“No, we can’t,” Dean panted and regretfully pulled out of Cas’ hole.

“Tonight though,” Cas said desperately. “I’ll sneak out of Lucas’ room and we’ll fuck?”

“Cas, maybe you should think this through more,” Dean moaned, his big hand caressing the boy’s cheek, now that he had a moment to think again.

“I don’t wanna,” Cas pouted. “All I want is for you to fuck me. Please say you will, please… please… please,” Cas kissed Dean’s pulse point, the underside of his jaw and then his mouth whenever he pleaded.

“God, Cas. Drive me fucking crazy like this,” Dean moaned, his hand moving on Cas’ face again, adjusting his lighter body over his own again and pressing him back into the wall for real, not thinking anymore. His fingers were just finding Cas’ pucker in earnest, when they heard Lucas call again: “Shall I just order dinner?”

“Fucking hell,” Dean groaned out in annoyance, while Cas looked at him adoringly from below and then he smiled sweetly, despite their obscene position: “Tonight, okay? You. Me. My bed.”

“That’s all I ever wanted,” Cas grinned happily and pulled at Dean’s neck again. “Just one more,” he whispered. “Kiss me one more time.”

Dean didn’t need any convincing anymore as he followed the press of Cas’ hands and moaned obscenely when their hardnesses ground together again and their tongues interlaced.

“Guys! I’m starving!” Lucas yelled and finally they parted, both feeling as if the imprint of the other would never leave their body’s memories again.


	3. Chapter 3

Dinner was awkward, to say the least. Dean’s and Cas’ eyes roamed the other with a hunger that the Thai that Lucas had ordered just wouldn’t quench.

Dean got wide-eyed whenever Cas opened his mouth, doubtless imagining how it would look around his cock, Cas’ pupils dilated when Dean nursed his beer again.

Lucas didn’t catch on to any of the tension in the kitchen as he told them what was on TV tonight and if they had any preference for movies. Both shrugged and left the choice up to him, which made Lucas very happy.

They sat down on the couch together, and neither Dean nor Cas actually caught on to anything of the plot, once Cas had mustered up the courage to take Dean’s hand and hide their interlaced fingers between their thighs.

Cas thought it may have been too childish to hold hands with the older man, but Dean didn’t seem to mind, he actually opened his arm on the back of the couch for the boy to sink into after a bit and gave Cas his other hand to hold. His fingers played over the back of Cas’ t shirt, which made the boy look up with a gaze that was so heated that it should have burned holes into Dean.

The movie dragged on, and Lucas commented everything, while Cas near went out of his mind because he was so damn horny, and by the way Dean shifted during the second hour of the movie, he wasn’t any better off.

After the movie, Lucas wanted to watch the one that was on after, but Dean put his foot down because it was a horror movie. He usually never did that, but another two hours with this amount of arousal sitting in his bones would probably make him drag Cas off into the next room without further ado.

Lucas grumbled at his father a bit, but Cas tried to soothe that he was tired anyway, so the boys went up into Lucas’ room where Cas rolled himself together on the visitor mattress that had been put onto the floor for him.

He counted the minutes until Lucas would stop talking, but he wasn’t lucky, because he went on and on about the ninja game, school, the movie that Cas hadn’t paid attention to and his mean father who wouldn’t let them watch another movie.

“No offence, Lucas. But I’m really tired now. Can we talk more in the morning?”

“Ok, sure,” Lucas said. “Sorry, buddy.” 

Cas waited all of ten minutes until he heard the other boy snoring softly until he picked himself up, uncontrollably excited as he patted down the corridor and opened Dean’s bedroom door.

The nightstand lamp was on and Dean laid on the bed, expectantly waiting for him in nothing but tight black briefs.

“Finally,” he moaned out in relief and sat up, letting his legs come to rest on the floor as he motioned Cas closer with crooking his index finger.

“Hello again, Dean,” Cas smiled when he stood close to him and the older man looked up at him, lust and wonder in his eyes.

“Come to Daddy, little boy,” Dean cooed with the same nickname that had escaped Cas earlier and which had been part of his blushing research about men who were into younger boys and the things they said to them, and pulled Cas down, rolling him around until he came to rest on top of him.

“Oh fuck, Daddy,” Cas moaned, the playing around with names and hot words turning him on even more than he already was, while Dean made quick work of pulling his clothes off him and pulling down his own underwear.

“Still a virgin, but so slutty already,” Dean said stroking over Cas’ thighs as he sank in-between them.

Cas blushed at being called slutty, but mostly because he liked it so much.

“I wanna be your perfect little slut, Daddy,” he moaned and then blushed crimson.

“Fuck, baby,” Dean moaned and feverishly claimed Cas’ mouth again.

Cas felt himself adjusted again, while Dean fumbled around for lube from the nightstand.

“You want this, pretty little slutty boy?” 

Cas blushed again, but answered: “More than anything.”

Dean grinned and then he parted Cas’ legs, lubed his fingers up and teased them over Cas’ rim again, the sensation already familiar by now.

The first finger inside Cas was already familiar too, but when the second joined the other inside him, Cas hissed a bit at the stretch.

“You good?”

“Yes,” Cas said, his hands reverently stroking over Dean’s face. “Keep going. I trust you.”

“Such a precious little boy,” Dean rasped and Cas gave a high pitched moan when the older man’s scissoring fingers found his prostate.

“Shhh, be quiet, baby boy. Can’t get too loud,” Dean laid his hand gently over Cas’ mouth, who kissed up into Dean’s palm and then removed his fingers with his own hand to talk to Dean. 

“It would be more muffled if I panted into your mouth, Daddy,” he said, again blushing.

Dean only groaned and hoisted Cas up onto some pillows, so he could comfortably finger him and kiss him at the same time. Cas moaned several times while Dean prepared him, and Dean answered with muffled growls of his own at feeling Cas’ desire reverberate on his tongue and lips.

“Fuck, Cas,” he moaned when Cas was three fingers wide open. “You have no idea how much I wanna be inside you now.”

“Maybe just as much as I want you inside me,” Cas answered, his mouth wide open and gasping obscenely as he felt Dean’s cockhead tease over his opening after the older man had rolled a condom on it. “Want you so much, Daddy. Put it in.”

Dean held eye contact as he pushed the first couple of inches in, Cas eyes fluttering shut several times, his forehead cringing whenever it stung as his best friend’s father well and truly took his virginity.

“I’m just about ready to shoot, Dean,” Cas moaned. “It’s so good.”

“Yeah, same here. Fuck, my stamina is usually good, but you’re just too perfect, Cas.”

Cas experimentally clenched around Dean’s huge cock inside him and felt his cock twitch out precome before Dean had even started moving.

“Hmm, just fuck me, Daddy,” he cantered his hips up, and Dean’s head fell onto his chest as he watched himself heave into Cas the first time.

“Such a pretty skillful slut already,” he mumbled as he pumped himself back in and Cas was again blushing because of Dean’s crude words, which only brought him higher.

“The baby slut wants more kisses, Daddy. Muffle my screams when you fuck me.”

Dean’s head peeked up, moaning when their mouths met again and he really started thrusting now, his huge cock too large for Cas’ young body, stretching him so wide that Cas felt pulled apart. Dean was within his body, his cock setting his whole system on fire whenever he hit the bundle of nerves within him, his arms straining because he could hardly hold the larger man in them. It was the best Cas had ever felt and his moans got more and more broken as Dean fucked him so good and hard, never stopping to kiss him.

“Dean, fuck,” he moaned past his mouth when he got close. “Can you-” Dean closed his mouth again, having understood him perfectly because his hand found Cas’ cock, jerking him in time with his thrusts. He thumped over the head, and then flicked his wrist over the head until he felt Cas clench around him in orgasm. His pretty, broken moans again in his mouth, in his throat, rocking down into his core.

Dean thrust a couple more times into the perfect tightness around him until Cas felt hot liquid shoot out of the head of Dean's cock, almost wishing it would be all inside him right now and he'd insist on doing this without a condom later on, as he in turn heard and felt Dean’s orgasmic moans in his mouth. 

“Awesome,” the older man panted when it was over, and he stroked over Cas’ body reverently, his cock still inside him, even as it softened.

“Yes,” Cas grinned, his body humming. “Come back, I wanna feel your mouth and your hands.”

They made out for another half hour, stroking, pressing their hands together over Cas’ head while Dean kissed every inch of his body he could reach without slipping out. Then Cas’ hands were in Dean’s hair, while they kissed almost chastely. At last, Dean’s head only rested on Cas’ chest, listening to his heartbeat, while the boy stroked over his back.

He moved a bit and hissed when he still felt himself stretched once they were absolutely done and Dean looked at him with worry.

“Are you sore, Cas?”

“Little bit,” he admitted and with regret, he felt Dean slip out of him and examine his asshole without any shame which had Cas blush again.

“It’s not too bad, but it’s gonna be uncomfortable for a while,” Dean concluded. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Cas smiled at him when Dean’s worried face peeked up at him between his legs. “It was so worth it.”

“Yeah, it was,” Dean smiled, but then silence fell, which grew a bit awkward after a while.

Cas broke it at long last with: “Hey, how long do you think it will take to be alright again?”

“I dunno, couple’a days, maybe.”

“Gives us enough time to find a time and place to meet, doesn‘t it?”

“You want a second round?” Dean grinned.

“Dean…” Cas said contemplatively. 

“What?” the older man said with a vulnerability that was almost heartbreaking in it’s pureness, as he waited with baited breath for the boy to continue.

“Listen, you may don’t think I know what‘s going on, because I’m so young. But I understand you perfectly. Deep down you crave monogamy. Being with someone for a long while.”

“Yes,” Dean said, aghast that Cas saw right through him. “But you wanna be with other people? More older men?” he asked, and Cas could see that he actually didn’t wanna hear the answer.

“No, Dean. I am only interested in one older man and he’s just pulled out of me,” he grinned and sat up, more understanding showing in his gaze than a teenager should possess. “I want you, completely,” he blushed one last time tonight. “I think I fell for you.”

“That’s good,” Dean said with a slightly strained smile. “Because I did too, even if it damns me to hell.”

“It won’t,” Cas said confidently, pulling at the older man until they lay side by side and the teenager cuddled sweetly against his larger frame. “And even if it did, I would be right there with you,” and without further thought, they went to sleep, with Dean fully engulfing Cas in his warmth, and Cas’ small body pressing into Dean to make him completely whole.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't leave this alone, and I'm not even gonna try to anymore. so, open chapter number for I don't know how long and I try to write a new chapter of perversion regularly. ;)

The next morning, Cas woke up, feeling boneless and happy beyond words. For a minute, he didn’t remember why but then he felt a weight on his chest and let his fingers explore Dean’s toned forearm which he had thrown around Cas in his sleep.

Cas sighed and stretched like a cat, grinning wide.

He wasn’t a virgin anymore and the man who had fucked him was Dean Winchester, the man he had had a crush on ever since his dick got the first shot of teenage hormones. Cas simply had to remind himself of what it meant to wake up in this bed and that his resolve to have Dean had really resulted in a seduction. He chuckled about his success and lifted Dean’s arm off his body so that he could climb atop the older man.

Cas straddled him, hissing when his not-so-virgin ass rubbed over Dean’s lower stomach as he climbed up to say good morning.

“Did someone order a horny teenager for breakfast?” he purred at Dean before he kissed him, Dean chuckling too because Cas had already woken him up.

“It seems like _I_ have,” he said hoarsely, his voice still raw from sleeping. He sighed before Cas kissed him again, and his large hands slid over the boy’s flanks.

“So, are you gonna eat me now?” Cas asked when Dean opened his eyes and looked up at him with a benevolent expression.

“Much as I’d love to,” Dean sighed and took one hand off Cas to turn the alarm clock on the nightstand around. “It’s 8:30 and Lucas never sleeps longer than that. You should head back and if he’s already awake-”

“I can pretend to have been to the bathroom already and not having spent the night in his father’s bed after he fucked me.”

Dean looked wide-eyed at Cas retelling what they had done, but he moaned loudly as Cas kissed him again, rubbing his cock on him and letting him know that if he’d only want, they could spent their morning here, sweetened with orgasms no less.

“I’m serious, Cas,” Dean said when the boy humped him. “You can come in tonight again once Lucas is sleeping, but right now you gotta go.”

“Can’t we come first?” Cas pouted, his hand finding Dean’s own rock hard cock. “If you’re worried that Lucas is gonna get suspicious, we can take a shower right now. You’ll say you showered, and I’ll pretend like I went for a swim. Please Dean,” he moaned when their cocks rubbed over each other again.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Cas!” Dean groaned and honest to god picked the teenager up and carried him over into his own bathroom.

Cas giggled at getting his way again, hooking his legs around Dean’s middle and continuing to hump him even as Dean fumbled with the door of the shower cubicle and then reached out blindly, fumbling once more to turn on the water while Cas’ tongue was in his mouth, his hands in his hair and his eager teenage cock rubbing itself on him.

“Fuck,” Cas groaned out as hot water and steam surrounded them, making the slide between their bodies much easier. “You’re so hot, Dean. I still can’t believe you actually fucked me. I wanted that for so long,” he talked on and on, getting closer and closer but the water was everywhere now and he felt himself slipping off Dean’s hips.

“I can tell, you’re very eager,” Dean said and lapped into Cas’ mouth over and over, moaning obscenely as he put the teenager on his feet again. “Turn around,” he rasped and Cas eagerly turned to face the wall, pressing out his ass.

“Are you gonna fuck me? Please say you will.”

“Depends,” Dean pondered, parting Cas’ globes and softly stroking over his rim.

Cas bucked away, a hiss in his throat.

“Maybe not,” Dean said, his big hands on Cas’ shoulders to hoist him closer again. “But there are other things we can do. Spread those pretty legs a little, baby.”

Cas did as he was asked and felt Dean’s hard throbbing length push through his thighs from the back.

“Ah,” he drew the sound out long, and put his feet closer together to tighten the channel between his thighs.

“Good boy,” Dean praised, his hips snapping against Cas’ ass and his arms sneaking around to the teenager’s torso.

He brought them into a tight hold around Cas’ clavicle and the other one wrapped tightly just above his hipbones, playing over them whenever he thrust.

“Gonna give it to you even when your perfect ass is outta business,” Dean rasped into his ear. Cas giggled as he moved against the older man, his own cock bopping up and down, shooting drops of precome that got washed away immediately.

“Fuck!” Dean moaned, Cas feeling the throbbing length between his thighs twitch and turned around to watch Dean’s face as he came.

“Holy hell,” he grinned, moving his hand from Cas’ chest up to his face, turning him so he could kiss him while his second hand now grabbed Cas’ achingly hard cock.

Cas whined and bucked into Dean, fucking himself back onto him and thereby moving his cock through Dean’s fist.

“Come for Daddy,” Dean muttered and then muffled Cas’ orgasmic cry with his mouth.

“Perfect little boy,” he praised as Cas grew lax in his arms, turning himself around and latching on to Dean again because he could barely stand.

“Good morning, Dean,” he said, looping his arms around the older man’s shoulders and feeling his body hum as Dean let out a full bodied laugh at that.

“Morning, my little pervert,” Dean replied and then started to wash the both of them while Cas rested his head on Dean’s strong shoulder.

When Dean lifted Cas’ heavy head off himself to wash his hair, he chuckled again: “Nobody who sees you won’t know that you’re fucked six ways from Sunday,” he gently touched Cas’ drooping eyelids and his kiss-swollen mouth before he started to shampoo his hair.

“And it won’t get better if you keep going,” Cas purred happily when Dean gave his head a massage.

“Then I’ll just have to stop,” Dean chuckled again, moving his hands away but Cas caught both his wrists.

“Please, don’t. Don’t ever stop,” he pressed little kisses into Dean’s palms as soon as the shampoo was washed off them.

“You drive me crazy, Cas. I’ll probably be saying that a lot,” Dean said, almost to himself when Cas looked up again.

“Is that a compliment?” Cas’ blue, still so innocent looking gaze found Dean’s even as he pressed the older man’s palm to his mouth, kissing it again and then every tip of Dean’s fingers.

“It’s a fact,” Dean said, pressing Cas against the shower wall once more, even as he turned the water off and kissed him hungrily, tongue licking into Cas, teeth scraping over his lips and strong hands on his ass, roaming it and then moving lower to hoist Cas’ thigh around himself again.

“Didn’t you say I should get back into Lucas’ room?” Cas teased when Dean’s entire body pressed against him.

“Fuck that,” Dean rasped, his hand stroking over Cas’ thigh as he moved against him, kissing and sucking the teenager’s bottom lip into his mouth, where he worried it until Cas keened and bucked up against him, throwing his arms around Dean passionately.

They heard a knock on the door: “Hey, dad. Sorry to disturb, but have you seen Cas?”

Dean parted their mouths now, praying that Lucas didn’t hear the obscene suction sound as they came apart as he croaked: “Well, he’s not in my shower, that’s for sure.”

Cas bit his lips, but couldn’t help a dark chuckle escaping him.

“Ok,” Lucas said on the other side of the door and hopefully slunk off now.

“That was close,” Dean said, frowning a little at the blissed out, happily expectant Cas in his arms.

“Can we pick this up in the evening, baby?”

Cas nodded, but brought his half open mouth up again.

“I need a few more kisses to get through the day, though.”

Dean chuckled and while they towelled themselves off and dressed, Dean in his weekend clothes, Cas in his pyjamas because everything else would be a giveaway even though he scented Dean’s t shirt with a moan, wanting nothing more than to put it on, they kissed continually. It was a miracle they put their clothes on the right way round, because they searched for them blindly, continually liplocked.

“Seriously, I never got so horny while putting stuff _on_ ,” Dean shook his head after they were done.

“Tonight you can be horny when we do it the other way around,” Cas promised.

“Yeah,” Dean pulled him close one very last time, nuzzling the side of Cas’ neck, smelling him. “I’ll be horny the entire day though.”

Cas swallowed dryly, answering: “Me too,” before they left Dean’s bedroom, checking if Lucas was in the hall before they parted ways.


	5. Chapter 5

Breakfast was tense, to say the least. Even Lucas picked up on the silence of his companions and ate his cereal in equal silence while Dean and Cas ventured a look at the other now and again and the tension was rising higher and higher with every second.

Dean stared holes into Cas as he put a spoon to his mouth and only replied with a raspy: “Huh?” when Lucas asked him why he was so distracted today.

“Just got lots of stuff on my mind.”

“Good stuff?” Lucas asked.

“Grown up stuff, nothing you need to worry about,” Dean shrugged his son off but Cas on the other side of the table blushed scarlet about Dean’s words and purposefully let his spoon fall onto the ground.

He angled himself awkwardly, face down and fumbled around for a while to pick it up.

Lucas laughed about Cas’ flushed face when he was back at eyelevel but luckily he didn’t realise that Cas had been blushing before all the blood had found it’s way into his cheeks from leaning down.

“So what are you gonna do today?” Dean asked, when Cas got himself a new spoon.

“What do you think? Swimming of course. The tournament is next week.”

“When?” Dean asked, casually interested in his son’s activities, and Cas hoped that Dean was fishing around for _his_ schedule, even though he knew Dean wasn’t gonna like what he was about to hear.

“On the weekend,” Cas answered for Lucas and saw a hint of desperation in Dean’s eyes as he sat back down.

“Of course,” Dean said, his face a hard mask.

“Is everything alright, dad?”

“No, not really. Your coach is really cracking the whip, isn’t she? When do you have time to enjoy yourself if every weekend is packed like this?”

“It’s not every weekend, you’re exaggerating,” Lucas said, barely concealed panic in his voice. “It’s not that much, I can still do enough outside of school. Don’t cancel my swimming, dad.”

“What?” Dean asked, tearing his gaze from Cas’ lips, not even understanding what Lucas was on about. “Cancel your swimming?” he said as if it was the last thing on his mind, which Cas was sure was the case. Dean had only asked to make sure when Cas would have time to spend with him again after all, which made Cas feel all tingly and warm.

“Yeah, please don’t,” Lucas said.

“I’m not gonna do that,” Dean reassured him. “All I’m saying is you must be really committed to dedicate that much time to it when you could do something else,” he caught Cas’ gaze again, who licked his dry lips.

Cas nodded, adding: “It is time-consuming and sometimes, I’d rather do something else too.”

Lucas nodded in agreement and now that the matter was settled he was wholly focused on his breakfast again and didn’t notice Cas not being able to stop making bedroom eyes at Dean, wishing they were alone right now.

 

After the tense meal, Cas didn’t see much of Dean for a couple of hours. He was mostly down by the pool, racing Lucas and really upping his speed just so that the could be out of the water sooner and look towards the door upstairs to see if Dean had come down.

“What kind of trick are you using, bro?” Lucas asked him when Cas had beaten him at every lapse during the last three hours.

“Don’t know,” Cas mumbled, not wanting to tell that the trick was: Horny teenager really not wanting to train but get nailed by his much older lover.

Speaking of nailing, he thought as he dried himself off. His ass still felt pretty sore from the intensive first taste of Dean's cock it had gotten and it didn’t help that all his other muscles were numb too from how furiously they had parted the water.

Lucas too was weary and said that it was enough for now. He wanted to go up and watch something on netflix, but when they actually got there, he was snoring from exhaustion within 5 minutes.

Cas was tired too, but he willed himself not to sleep but go on the search for Dean instead.

He found him down in the living room, lying on the couch and zapping through the programs.

“Hello Dean,” Cas smiled and joined him on the couch, throwing his arms around the broader man.

“Cas, what are you doing?” Dean asked, even as he stroked over Cas’ back and pulled him closer. “Lucas might walk in at any moment.”

“He won’t. He’s asleep,” Cas mumbled, scenting the collar of Dean’s t shirt and closing his eyes contently.

“And you’re tired too,” Dean stated, stroking his thumb over Cas’ shoulder blade.

“Yes,” Cas nodded, hiding his face in Dean’s broad chest, in another minute falling asleep with the older man’s warmth surrounding him.

 

He didn’t know how long he had slept, but when he woke up and opened his eyes he caught Dean staring at him, still lightly stroking his back.

“You know it’s rude to stare at sleeping people?” Cas asked, his voice heavy with sleep, and his body still comfortably numb.

“Can’t help it baby, you’re just so beautiful,” Dean rasped and moved so he lay on top of Cas, staring down and even though his arms were still tangled around he boy, he somehow managed to softly stroke over his full lips before he kissed them again.

It was as if the numbness of Cas’ body had finally reached his brain as well as he melted against Dean, clawing at his t shirt and hungrily kissing him back. Opening his thighs and pressing Dean between them was one thought and then Cas started bucking against him, his cock waking up while the rest of his body still felt like it was floating even with the weight of a fully grown man pressing him down into the cushions.

“Fuck Cas,” Dean said breathless, parting their mouths for a second, before he reached into Cas’ trousers, finding his cock and pumping it. He sighed against Cas’ neck as his smaller hand found his own cock and they jerked each other off, half listening for patting footsteps coming down the stairs or down the hall while at the same time not able to keep completely quiet.

“Please,” Cas whimpered when he got close and Dean’s large hand found the side of his face, steadying him as he felt the teenager come apart underneath him.

“Ah, fuck!” Dean shouted as Cas’ strokes got him off too and he panted while relishing the fact that he could pick Cas up onto himself, pressing their heated crotches together even as they came down from their highs and Cas simply followed, kissing him lazily, shakily dipping his tongue into his mouth.

Both Dean’s hands were on Cas’ face now as he looked up in wonder, his eyes heavy-lidded and a small chuckle on his lips whenever Cas caught his gaze.

“Can’t you cancel that swimming tournament?” he panted when Cas laid their foreheads together, his breath just as heavy as Dean’s. “I really want you to myself for a whole weekend, not just a few stolen hours, or a quick jerk off.”

“I can’t,” Cas said, his voice pained as he fisted the collar of Dean’s t shirt, trying to expose as much skin to view as possible.

“Then when?” Dean asked, his desperation already building as Cas’ lips trailed over his collarbone which he had just exposed. “I can’t _not_ know when I can see you again.”

“It would have to be the weekend after the next then, but I don’t think my parents will let me go out the whole weekend again. Not after a sleepover and a tournament.”

“Parents…,” Dean pondered, probably wondering what he had gotten himself into with this.

“I’ll try, but I can’t guarantee that it’ll work," Cas assured him. "And when I’m over here after school, you’re still at work. And anyway, Lucas is always there too.”

As if to emphasise Cas’ words, they at least heard the tell-tale footfall that told them that Lucas was awake and that it was time to untangle themselves now, even though Cas thought that even now when they were sitting next to each other chastely on the couch, Lucas would not be able to ignore the big wet patch on Dean’s grey sweatpants or their tousled hair and flushed expressions.

Dean actually crossing his fingers over his lap before Lucas came in, wanting to boot the ninja game back up.

“I’ll leave you to it,” he said and the only reason Cas wasn’t objecting to Dean leaving was that the wet area of his pants was really unmistakeably big and his chest swelled with pride at him being the one who put it there.

 

The rest of the day dragged itself on and Cas felt a tiny bit bad about how much he wanted the day to be over and to get away from his best friend. Vividly he remembered how Meg, another close friend of his, had abandoned them for most of the time when she had her first boyfriend and Cas had sworn to himself that he would never be like that, that his friends would always come first.

But that was before he had actually set his mind on getting Dean and now he hardly had room for anything or anyone else in his mind.

“Is that what always happens?” Cas asked Dean once they were ferociously undressing each other in Dean’s bed.

“It only happens when you’re head over heels for someone,” Dean gave back, ripping Cas’ t shirt off and just as savagely ripping the boy's pants down.

“Fuck, I forgot how pretty you are down here,” Dean sighed with immense content and Cas chuckled, trying to shimmy out of his pants completely.

“Like that has changed in 24-… holy shit!” Cas clasped the headboard, the curse on his lips too loud for the quiet house but Dean couldn’t really blame him. Sucking Cas’ cock into his mouth without warning was definitely not on the ‘keep quiet about it’ list.

Cas keened, his trousers staying halfway up his thighs, involuntarily pushing deeper into Dean’s mouth, making the older man gag.

“Oh sorry,” Cas blushed when Dean’s eyes found his, with Cas’ cock in Dean’s throat no less.

Dean shook his head to say as if he hadn’t expected anything less than overeagerness from the teen and Cas had to bite his knuckles as Dean took him even deeper and brought his hands around to his ass, palming the cheeks before he lifted Cas’ hips off the bed, thrusting the teenager into his mouth until Cas caught on and imitated the movement.

He came embarrassingly fast, Dean could only let him slip out of his throat in time to have Cas come right onto his tongue.

“Fuck!” Cas practically cried as Dean came back up, claiming his mouth and letting him taste himself.

“Mhmm,” Dean agreed, pulling Cas’ bottom lip up with both his own until Cas bucked up into him again.

“I wanna do that too. Show me how to suck you,” Cas demanded, his small hands on Dean’s hips, stroking his skin.

“It’s not that easy, and my cock is much bigger than yours,” Dean cautioned him as he rolled them around so Cas was on top of him.

When Cas took a proper look at it, he agreed with Dean. His fully hard cock was definitely above average, not to mention that Cas was still a growing boy and his dick was nowhere near Dean's length or girth.

“What is it?” Dean asked when the boy stared at his dick with his eyes wide open and amazed. “You can’t believe that you took that last night and walked away from it?” he chuckled darkly as Cas nodded.

The teen brought his tongue out and licked an experimental stripe up Dean’s cock. He had felt the texture when he jerked him and knew how wide it spread his ass, but the _taste_ was another thing altogether.

Cas went stir crazy because he wanted more of it, licking Dean everywhere, jerking him how he liked it himself before he closed his mouth around the tip and moaned brokenly, knowing that the intoxicating taste was Dean’s precome.

“Baby,” Dean praised him as he slowly twirled his head around his cock, slowly taking it deeper with each suck. “A bit tighter,” Dean encouraged him, carding through Cas’ hair as he increased the suction a bit.

“It’s perfect like that, keep going.”

Cas looked up at Dean, knowing that his lips must look obscenely stretched around Dean’s girth and how he had loved it when Dean looked up at him.

“My perfect little baby slut,” Dean cooed and Cas remembered how Dean loved to say things like that when he was absolutely overwhelmed.

He took Dean as low as he could without choking, listening to the older man panting out more obscenities.

“Such a good little cocksucker for Daddy. Like choking on that dick, don’t you?”

Cas nodded enthusiastically, feeling Dean twitch inside his mouth.

“Fuck,” he panted as Cas let him slip out a bit, jerking him as Dean had shown him while still suckling on the head. “Gonna come in your mouth, boy. Fuck yeah!” Dean forewarned him before suddenly there were waves of hot liquid shooting into Cas’ mouth and knew he wasn’t gonna be able to hold it all in. Come leaked out of his mouth even as he sucked and struggled because he wanted no drop of Dean's come to go to waste.

“Look at me, baby. Wanna see you,” Dean said, his sweaty hands finding Cas’ unruly hair.

Cas blushed as he looked up, semen trailing down his chin and his lips achingly swollen.

“You’re perfect,” Dean praised and Cas felt himself starting to smile, climbing up to meet Dean’s lips in another passionate kiss, not even minding when the older man licked his own come off his face before he licked into his mouth just as obscenely, while also massaging Cas' scalp with firm strokes.

Cas didn’t know for how long they made out, he didn’t want to count the minutes of getting even more familiar with Dean’s body than he already was. He let his hands trail over every inch of Dean he could reach while Dean did the same to him.

He felt strong hands on his back, raking through his hair, digging into his ass, his hips  and his thighs. When they finally slowed, he felt them gently take a hold of his wrists to lay them onto Dean’s chest where Cas could feel a racing heart beat.

“That’s what you do to me, kid,” Dean smiled at him, reaching up to Cas’ own chest and feeling an equally galloping heart beat there.

“And you to me,” Cas replied and burrowed himself in Dean’s arms, falling asleep in what had become his favourite place in the world very quickly.


	6. Chapter 6

When they woke up on Sunday morning, they started the day much like the last. With orgasms in Dean’s shower.

“Let’s just stay here the entire day,” Cas said, relishing the feeling of Dean’s large hands on his body.

“Would that we could,” Dean answered with a longing in his voice that would have to carry Cas over the next two weeks of not being able to be close to him again. “You gotta make sure your parents let you go,” Dean pleaded. “I’ll dump Lucas at my brother’s or have my mother come over here to take care of him and then we’re going to a hotel. Just you and me.”

“I’d like that very much,” Cas agreed and hugged Dean forcefully, whispering quietly: “I don’t want to leave, not now that I have you.”

Cas thought Dean would ignore it because he had said it so quietly, but the older man picked him up and sat him down on the counter, tilting Cas’ head up so he had to face him. Slow and deliberately, he closed the inches between their mouths, and Cas sighed as he was kissed.

“We can make this work,” Dean said later. “It’s not gonna be easy, but we’ll make it work. And we probably shouldn‘t tell anyone.”

Cas nodded, seeing Dean’s point because his parents were gonna freak if they found out about this, probably even sue Dean for taking advantage of him.

“Hey, Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“We’re in this for longer, right? I mean it’s not the thrill of the forbidden that’s got you hooked?”

“No, obviously it’s just that,” Dean said, rolling his eyes sarcastically. “I actually want to risk my reputation, jail time and not getting to see my son anymore just for the kick of it.”

“Right,” Cas grinned and fished Dean’s cell out of his pocket. “Here,” he said, handing it back after typing his number into it.

“Jailbait? Hilarious Cas,” Dean shook his head as he changed the name to something less conspicuous.

“Emmanuel? You know my middle name?”

“Duh, Cas,” Dean rolled his eyes again and then grew serious, his hands again underneath Cas’ chin. “What’s over two years of hiding in the end, huh? Perhaps you’ll grow bored of me once the novelty wears off.”

“Not a chance,” Cas shook his head, grabbing Dean passionately. “We can do 2 years of this, can’t we? And once I‘m 18, we won‘t have to hide anymore.”

Dean chuckled nervously, loving the hopeful enthusiasm of the kid, but obviously not really being sure that they were gonna get there in one piece.

“All I know is that I can’t be without you,” he finished his thought out loud, hugging the teenager close but Cas thought that he looked like he was feeling as if nails were hammered into his coffin every time he touched him. He could ignore the possible consequences in their moments of passion, but once he thought about this for even a second, he looked disheartened again.

Falling for someone who wasn’t legal? What was he thinking? Dean seemed to say as he shook his head when he had let go of the boy.

 

Cas felt that Dean was in a bad mood after they snuck out of his bedroom again, but he couldn’t ask him about what was happening now that Lucas was around.

With a start, Cas noticed that he looked down on his friend now. He was still very much a child, with no care in the world other than completing his training and playing the newest game.

Cas looked back and forth between Dean and Lucas, saw a preoccupied brow here and blissful ignorance there and decided he was gonna do whatever he could to be someone who Dean would consider being with in the long haul, because he felt that this was it, Dean was it. He desperately wanted to make this work, even if it meant growing up faster than he should and lying to everyone.

Then he looked at Lucas, thinking that he’d have to make a conscious effort to stay friends with him at all cost because it would otherwise look even weirder if he kept coming here. With another start, Cas noticed how calculating he was now that he had a goal and the stakes were so much higher.

“Is it even worth it?” a nagging little voice in the back of his mind flared up. Was he really in his right mind to have a boyfriend who’s 20 years older than him? And what’s more, who he wanted and needed to keep in his life for an indefinite amount of time? Wouldn’t he be better off looking for someone who was his own age than enter into something that had every potential to crash, even if they made it past the big 18 marker? Dean may expect something entirely different than he was gonna get. Cas wanted the fun, wanted the touches and the cuddles. Dean may want more than that, a partner he could bring to company dinners and introduce to his family.

Cas looked at Dean, questioning everything, but once he saw him again, his heart galloped away like it always did and he knew that for better or worse, he was gonna go through with this, because the feelings inside of him could not be explained away or denied even when assessing the situation rationally.

Dean caught his gaze, flashing him a smile and Cas felt secure because he wasn’t alone with his feelings. This one smile made both of them slide all their chips in the middle of the table and be all in. He only hoped they got a good hand and would win this in the end, preferably without having to bluff that their hand was better than it actually was.

 

Monday back at school was a gruff reality check for Cas, because the usual noise of students racing each other down the halls, lockers opening and closing and everyone talking loudly over one another surrounded him. He passed by a gaggle of girls surrounding one who sat on the floor crying about whatever had happened on the weekend, but Cas didn't stop by to enquire what was going on like so many other sensationalist kids did; he was content with how his own weekend had been and he never was one to give much about gossip.

In his first class of the day he compared the behaviour of the boys in his class with Dean’s. The difference was striking and even more so when the very same girl who had sat crying in the hall was teased relentlessly by her now ex-boyfriend and had to run out even now to hide in the nearest bathroom and cry some more.

Cas shook his head, thinking: “Kids,” but then flinched when he stared at his 10th grade math book peeking out of his backpack. How pretentious did this thing with Dean make him, thinking he wasn't a kid anymore?

As the day went on, he more and more came to the conclusion that he wasn’t pretentious and that boys his own age really were mindless apes who behaved completely stupid most of the time.

During lunch he texted Dean: “I miss you,” while the other members of his swimming team with whom he and Lucas always ate, shouted at each other across the table.

“Me too,” was the immediate reply making Cas almost don't catch as someone roared at him, to tell him what he was grinning about.

Cas answered with something non-committal and was promptly being teased the entire rest of the day about picking himself up a guy over the weekend.

Even while changing for swim practice they didn’t lay off him, not until Lucas told them that Cas had spent the entire weekend with him and that as the whole team knew that Lucas wasn’t queer, they finally shut up about Cas’ potential new boyfriend.

Cas’ dried his sweaty hands on his towel before he went out to the pool, happy that they had stopped talking about his love life. Keeping a secret like this seemed harder than ever now and he hoped that all suspicion was gone now because he didn‘t have a clue how he should act if it wasn‘t.

 

The entire week was hard on him, even as he went with Lucas to train, he wasn’t really concentrated and only waited for Dean to finally come home.

He stayed on after dinner now, holding Dean’s hand in the darkness when the three of them watched a movie, but it wasn’t nearly enough.

Friday, he couldn’t help himself anymore, he sneaked his fingertips through the space in-between the buttons of Dean’s shirt, barely breathing when he made contact with the older man’s skin while Lucas was completely lost in an anime that was on.

“I need you,” Cas breathed into Dean's ear hungrily and he nodded feverishly.

Louder than Cas' barely audible whisper, Dean said: “It’s really getting late, Cas. Shall I give you a ride home?”

“If it’s no trouble,” Cas nodded, sounding a little shy, as you would when a grown up offered to take you home.

Dean clapped Lucas on the back, asking him if he wanted to come too, but Lucas shook his head and both Dean and Cas breathed a quiet sigh of relief when they were in Dean’s car and he pulled out of the driveway.

“Pull over somewhere,” Cas urged Dean, scooting over on the wide front bench of the car and hungrily stroking over Dean’s cock.

“Really, Cas? I didn‘t think about that when I told you I‘d take you home. I just wanted to spent a few-”

“Pull over,” Cas said, an edge of desperation in his voice.

“Jeez,” Dean rasped and found a spot that was far enough off the main road so that nobody could read his license plates.

“I need you,” Cas said again, climbing Dean even while the steering wheel pressed into his back uncomfortably. “This week was hell and I need to…,” he stopped, not knowing how to go on because of everything that had happened.

Did Dean want the horny teenager, or someone he could really be with, or something else entirely? Cas decided he would be the horny teenager tonight which was mostly how he felt anyway. Jerking of in the shower didn't feel as good now that he had tasted how it was to have the real thing.

“I need you to fuck me,” he said, looping his arms around the back of Dean’s neck and thrusting himself up in his lap. “Need you to nail me right here and now.”

“Fuck, Cas,” Dean groaned, his eyes wide as he watched Cas slip out of his trousers and pull his own zipper down. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You’re so pretty and fucked out when you’ve come. Your parents would notice-”

“I need this. Please,” Cas begged, knowing that he was incredibly slutty right now. “Please, Dean. Daddy?” he tried to sound cute and by the way Dean’s eyes almost popped, he knew he had him.

Suddenly, Dean’s fingers were on his long ago exposed ass, finding his pucker which had by now absolutely recovered from last weekend only to be wrecked now if all went according to his wishes. Dean massaging it until Cas keened and moaned.

“Baby, in the glove box. Lube,” Dean said, breathless already because Cas’ kisses didn’t leave much time or space for breathing.

Cas nodded, still humping Dean and then fumbling around until he found a small bottle.

“I don’t have any condoms,” Dean said with a bit of panic as he saw the glove box didn’t contain any.

“I don’t care,” Cas said desperately. “Let’s just do it without one.”

“But it gets messy-” Dean started to object, but Cas didn’t leave him much room for it; with a frown and an obscene stare, he snatched the lube bottle out of Dean’s hand and started fingering himself open.

It didn’t feel nearly as good as when Dean did it, but Cas _had_ done it by himself before. Dean only watched, his hands on Cas’ still mostly clothed body as the teen fucked his own fingers into himself until he was open enough to take Dean’s cock.

Slowly, he sank down on the impressive length, feeling it graze against his prostate as it went in.

“I feel so stretched,” he panted, keeping eye contact as he took the cock deep inside himself. “Fuck, it’s so good,” he panted when Dean was all the way in and he set a ruthless pace before he was all adjusted.

“Baby! Cas, you’re taking it too hard. You won’t be able to sit tomorrow, let alone swim.”

“I don’t care,” Cas grumbled, riding Dean’s dick even harder, fisting his own cock as he felt came apart, clenching around the cock in his ass as he came all over Dean’s shirt.

“Tell me I’m your good boy,” he begged Dean, linking his hands on the back of the older man's neck, wholly focused on bringing him off now as he kept bouncing in his lap. “Dean, please. Talk.”

“You _are_ my good boy,” Dean panted, his hands big and warm on Cas’ ass. “You’re my perfect little cock hungry boy. You’re so good, fuck!” Dean worried his lips and Cas watched triumphantly as his mouth opened and hot come shot out into his ass.

“Yes,” Cas said breathlessly, letting his head fall onto Dean’s shoulder, getting his breathing under control after a while.

Dean stroked over his neck with gentle fingers, kissing his temple even as he shifted from a slight cramp in his thigh.

“Is there a reason why you’re like this, baby?” Dean asked when Cas finally lifted himself up enough to look at him and flinched because the steering wheel was tightly lodged in his lower back which he had forgotten while having sex, but now the pain came back to him.

“I just miss you. And I needed the reminder of how good we are together,” Cas admitted.

“Are you thinking of ending this already?” Dean said as if it was inevitable and he had anticipated exactly that anyway.

Cas shook his head violently, so much that Dean had to steady him because he couldn’t focus.

“No,” he panted out, his hand on his forehead, staring daggers into Dean even though his vision still spun. “I’m not ending this. I don’t want it to end. It’s just, I haven’t seen you the whole week, not like I want to, and I needed to have this too.”

“Makes it worth it,” Dean nodded, his fingers gently massaging Cas’ temples as he lifted the boy off himself.

“Don’t. Please,” Cas said as Dean lifted his leg and wanted to clean him.

Astonished, the older man watched as Cas pulled his underwear back up and clenched himself together so that nothing leaked out.

“I wanna have this for a while,” Cas said with a deep blush.

“Baby, you can’t walk around with my come leaking out of you. At least wash those briefs out yourself before you put them in the washing machine,” even Dean blushed now as he told Cas what to do so his parents wouldn’t notice that Cas was having sex, or possibly put his underwear on backwards, had then come in it and then put it on the right way round.

“I will,” Cas said, as Dean turned the engine back on and continued his interrupted drive.

“This is it,” Cas said as they reached his house. It was a bit unnecessary, because Dean had taken him or Lucas here countless times for the last years since he and Lucas has become friends in 8th grade.

“Cas?” Dean asked after a minute when Cas didn’t lift a hand to get out.

“I want a goodbye kiss,” Cas admitted with a blush, knowing that it wasn’t possible.

“There is something at the back of the glove box, can you see it?”

“No, what?” Cas asked, falling for the trick at first and leaning down, Dean leaning down too and sneaking an amazing goodbye kiss from the teen where nobody could see them.

“Smooth,” Cas complimented him when they came back up for air and both looked around if someone saw it.

“Might have to do the goodbye kisses earlier though, babe.”

“Yes,” Cas agreed and finally opened the door.

“See you real soon, ok?” Dean said, leaning forward in his seat with his eyebrows raised and a wide smile on his face.

Cas only nodded and muttered: “Bye,” as Dean pulled off and he had to go in because his neighbour was just taking his dog for a walk and it would have been pretty telling if he had stared after Dean’s car longingly like every fibre of his being desired the man driving away in it.


	7. Chapter 7

On the bus trip to the swimming competition, Cas was bored. Lucas snored next to him just like the rest of the team, while Cas was wide awake and worried.

He watched the sun come up slowly behind the hills and trees next to the road and felt a bitter pang in his gut every time he remembered that Lucas had come to the bus alone this morning.

“Didn’t your dad bring you?” Cas asked, trying to conceal his panic that Dean passed on this prime opportunity to see him.

“Neh, he said he was too busy to bring me. He’s started working before I even left.”

After their bus had left the school grounds and everyone around Cas took the opportunity to sleep a few more hours, he crossed his arms, worried his bottom lip and stared out of the windows, his eyes scrunched nearly shut because of the bright light of the rising sun.

Did Dean really not want to see him? Was it because of what he had done last night?

Cas remembered how he had ridden Dean so hard that he still felt like he hadn’t closed all the way again and how good it had felt even when he walked up to his house as he clenched himself together tightly.

Dinner had been uncomfortable, because on top of his aching ass, his parents had decided it was time they talked to him. His mom had given him a plate of reheated food because she and Cas’ father had already eaten, with a smile she asked: “So tell me, Castiel. What’s new in your life?” she sat down immediately, even as Cas picked through his dinner with an unimpressed face.

“Why would anything be new, mom?”

“Oh, I don’t know. You stayed out longer than usual for the last few days.”

“And how would you know?” Cas asked, bristling up a little. “You’re gone the whole day anyway.”

“Don’t talk to your mother like that,” his father said, softer than his words were meant.

Cas sighed, knowing that his father really was angry at how he talked to his mother, but that he was absolutely incapable of putting his foot down in words or actions.

Carver Edlund, as he liked to call himself, sat down at the dinner table as well, seeing his wife Naomi mother hen all over Cas who still picked through his shrivelled cauliflower casserole without feeling any appetite.

Cas stabbed a piece of his food viciously, thinking that it was just like his father. Not in his prime, not in any way interesting, just a third class writer who loved his pseudonym and his obscure following more than his wife who was working three jobs to keep his own sorry ass and her son’s in food.

“I just want to know what you’re up to these days, Castiel,” his mother said, a steely tone in her voice that told Cas had he had in fact hurt her as she got up and smoothed over his rumpled t shirt.

“I’m training, like always. And spending my days over at Lucas’ house because I would be on my own here anyway,” Cas told them while squinting his eyes at his mother actually wanting to smooth over his hair next.

It was true, his mom didn’t come home until late in the evening from working in an advertising agency and a diner and even on the weekend, she had taken up another job. Usually Cas was very grateful and admired his mother’s work ethics, but today he wasn’t in any shape to listen to her.

His week had been hell, and the short break with Dean in the car hadn’t made it better, in fact it had increased his want, but he couldn’t well talk to his parents about that, so he really had nothing to say and just got annoyed by them.

“Can you stop that, mom?” Cas asked, taking his mother’s hands from his head and really ate his dinner now, more to show her that he thanked her for putting in the effort to cook even as exhausted as she must be.

“Uh, by the way. I wanted to ask you if I could stay at a friend’s house on the weekend after this one.”

“With Lucas?”

“No, uh…,” Cas didn’t even know why he said no to that, but he didn’t wanna make it too suspicious because Lucas would be gone that weekend and he'd immediately blurt that out if his parents ever asked him.

“With Meg?” Chuck supplied, happy and expectant that Cas didn’t forget about his second best friend, and probably also happy that he even remembered the name of Cas' friends.

Cas squinted his eyes a bit about Chuck being so absentminded that he hadn’t noticed that Cas hadn’t really talked to Meg in over three months.

Still, he agreed with a nod: “Yes.”

Meg wouldn’t care about giving him an alibi, she didn’t have any scruples to lie to her parents. Or his for that matter. What he didn’t really look forward to was her sensationalist nature awakening and how she would come talk to him again, now that he did something interesting that involved the need for a cover story. But she was his best bet to pull this off, so he readied himself to endure her questions for as long as it would have to be.

Naomi nodded, seemingly relieved that her son spent his time not only around boys. She had been worried when Cas had come out to them that he was gonna be teased when he was just in company of the swimming team boys, so she said that it was a very good idea not to let his friendships with people who weren't on the team slip.

Cas agreed, but only because he didn’t want to go into detail about why Meg and he hadn’t done anything together for a while. He just wanted to go up into his room.

 

Cas sighed into the quiet bus loudly when he remembered how he had undressed and masturbated with his sullied briefs in his hand, thinking about Dean and how strange but amazing it felt that his come leaked out of him right now.

Happily, be had bounced into the bathroom to wash his underwear like Dean had told him when he was finished and another load of his own come was on the briefs as well, and he chuckled when he wrote to Dean about what he had done.

Then he had gone to sleep, happy in the conviction that he was at least gonna see Dean the next morning, but now that he hadn’t come along, he wondered if he had gone too far last night.

He remembered Dean wanting to stop him, or to take it easier. Was it because Cas had been a bit too forceful? Oh no. What if Dean hadn’t liked it as much as he had?

His eyes opened wide and anxiety punched him into the gut with an icecold fist. What if he _had_ gone too far last night?

He took out his phone and opened the conversation with Dean. There was the answer from last night that he thought that Cas had just sent him the hottest message of his life and that he was gonna think about it in his shower tonight. That sounded like he was fine with it, right?

Cas laid his head back down, his eyes still squinting into the now almost risen sun.

 

He must have fallen asleep over his musings, because he only woke up when they reached the competition grounds and Cas was actually glad to have Dean off his mind while he was competing.

He forced himself to part the water without any thought at all and in the end actually won every discipline he had started on.

Cas was happy with his success, but when he grinned at Lucas he only got a frown in return. It was evident that this was another unintended thing to look out for. If Lucas was mad at him for being better at swimming, they maybe wouldn’t be friends for much longer.

Cas sighed when the team gathered round and were throwing sour looks his way.

“Hey kid,” a man with a baseball cap low on his forehead and wearing sunglasses spoke up right next to him.

Cas frowned a little, but when he saw familiar lines crinkle around the man’s mouth as he grinned and even smacked his lips, he nearly blundered out: “Dean!” only catching himself at the very last moment.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” he said, proud of himself for sounding like his heart didn’t want to jump out of his chest.

“Oh, I was in the area,” was the evasive reply as Dean shoved a slip of paper into Cas’ palm and then clapped his still wet shoulder before he went on his way again.

Cas looked over his shoulder but the team had already gotten on the way to the showers and he could unfold the paper without being bothered. It showed a room number from the motel they were staying in for the night.

Grinning, Cas went off into the shower now but he had to wipe the smirk off his face pretty quickly, because the frowns that received him told him that they thought this was about them all losing against him.

 

None of the others talked to Cas for the rest of the day and he didn’t even mind it much. Not even when they all snug out of their rooms, past the room of the coach and the reception and out on the street, while they didn’t even think to invite Cas along to their usual trip to the nearest diner.

Cas rolled his eyes about the boys and their _illegal_ milkshakes and loud shouts once they were a few steps from the rooms. If they needed to do this to feel like they made it and were the coolest kids around, then so be it. One less excuse to come up with, he thought as he made his way to the room number Dean had scribbled down for him.

“Hello Dean,” he sighed once the door opened and jumped on the older man who carried him into the room, nearly toppling over with laughter.

“You were so great today,” Dean praised, putting Cas down on his bed, and stroking his hair off his forehead.

“Did you cheer for me?” Cas preened from the older man’s compliment and noticed that he was the first person to tell him that he had done a good job today.

“Couldn’t risk it. It was already suspicious enough as it was. Did anyone say something about the creeper who talked to you for a minute?”

“No, because _nobody_ talked to me,” Cas said, trying to sound as if it didn’t sting.

“Why not?”

“Because I beat them,” Cas said as if it was obvious.

“Right,” Dean said with a frown and let Cas get up while he never stopped touching the boy. “Because let’s not celebrate the regional champion, let’s be childish assholes.”

“Sort of,” Cas admitted, cuddling close and listening to Dean’s heartbeat as he told him where the rest of the team was now.

“Lucas, too?” Dean said with slight panic in his voice.

“Yes, but don’t worry. They’re ‘rebelling’ like this every time. And coach Rubens always comes to the diner after a few minutes because she knows that they‘re doing this.”

“Ok. That’s good,” Dean seemed relieved, but when Cas wanted to climb up and kiss him, he shook his head. “I wanna hear them come back at least.”

Cas nodded and Dean held him while they watched some stupid show on TV with the volume turned really low.

 

Like Cas said, the boys came back not too long after this and they all filed past Dean’s room.

“Won’t they get suspicious when they don’t find you there?” he asked, thumping over Cas’ back.

“I don’t think so. They’re still way too pissed to care. And they wouldn’t rat me in because then they’d have to tell the coach that they didn’t talk to me.”

“Right,” Dean nodded, and Cas waited to feel eager, strong hands undressing him now, but Dean still just held him. Obviously there was more on his mind.

“Listen,” he started, but didn’t continue until he turned Cas so that he faced him. “What you did last night...” he went on slowly and Cas swallowed hard. Here it comes, he thought. Here comes the blow.

“I won’t do it again if that’s what you want-” he blurted out and opened his mouth wide to say more but Dean put a finger on his lips and a steadying hand to his neck.

“Shh, it’s alright,” Dean soothed him. “I didn’t mean to say I didn’t like it. But there seems to be something the matter with you. Tell me what it is, maybe I can help.”

“It’s…,” Cas didn’t know how to put all his dreads into words. “It’s a bit much. You know, the secrets and the planning. And I uh… hardly recognise myself anyone?” he said in an asking tone, and then nodded at his own words because it was exactly how he felt, and now he picked up more steam. “What happens if Lucas doesn’t wanna be friends with me after this. How can I see you if I can’t come to your house anymore? Is it even a friendship when I have an ulterior motive? Should I quit my swimming practice so I can meet you directly after school, having sex in your car before you go home? How can I convince my parents to let me out regularly? How should I behave around you? Do you only want me if I’m all slutty, or determined, or needy, or… or…” Cas ended his endless list of questions, venturing a look at Dean, almost certain he would tell him to leave. That this was too hard to even try and that Cas annoyed him too much right now.

Dean only sat there, opening his arms and Cas sank into them with a pleased sigh because he _wasn’t_ kicking him out.

“It’s a tough situation,” Dean started quietly, his chin on top of Cas’ head and his arms crossed over his back. “It must weigh on you. Hell, it weighs on me too. I can’t say what you should do. I don’t have any answers to all your questions. The only thing I know is that I don’t regret a single second I spend with you like this, and I hope we’ll find a way to have many more moments like these. And you don’t have to be afraid of my reactions,” Dean mumbled, carding through Cas’ hair. “I like you determined and I like you needy and slutty. Whatever you feel like, you let me know.”

“I feel like having sex now,” Cas mumbled, hiding his face in Dean’s shirt.

“Me too,” Dean chuckled and slowly and carefully pressed Cas down onto the mattress. “How's your ass, by the way?”

“It’s fine,” Cas lied, because he wanted to feel Dean inside himself again and he wouldn’t rest just because his hole had been puckering uncomfortably all day and the water hadn’t made it better.

Dean only raised an eyebrow to say that he didn’t believe Cas as he slowly undressed the both of them.

He parted Cas’ legs with a hungry expression in his eyes and saw that Cas was all red and puffy from the rough pounding he had given himself last night.

“It’s really not fine,” Dean shook his head, climbing up the teen’s body again, roughly claiming his mouth.

“But Dean, I want you,” Cas pouted, bringing his own hand down to his hole, prodding at it a bit, and valiantly keeping back the hiss that he wanted to utter. “I know I can take you. Please, I don’t wanna waste this opportunity.”

“You’re so unbelievably eager,” Dean rasped. Then he put his fingers into his mouth, wetting them carefully before letting them trace circles around Cas’ rim. “You tell me when it hurts, ok?”

“It hurts, but I like it. Fuck, Dean. I want it.”

“You tell me when it hurts too much, then?” Dean switched gears.

“Yes, oh yes,” Cas agreed to everything. “Just please…please.”

“I know, baby. I know what you need.”

Dean dipped his first finger in while he still laid next to Cas, his long arm reaching down while Cas clung to him, moaning at every careful prodding motion inside him. Dean moaned too at finding Cas pliant and trying to get the finger in deeper immediately. So he went down lower, with the intent to see straight into Cas’ crack as he worked him open.

“You’re so perfect,” he hummed, kissing down Cas’ hairless chest, abdomen and finally finding his rim with his mouth; hot pink perfection all just for him as his tongue lapped into the teen.  
“You’re muscles are strong,” Dean said as he lifted his mouth off Cas’ hole, digging his fingers into Cas’ thigh as he kept on fingering him. “But you’re also still so soft in places,” he nuzzled against the part where Cas’ thigh joined his ass, then he distinctly nibbled at Cas’ supple flesh so the boy keened, pushing Dean’s fingers deep into himself. “And your boy pussy is fucking awesome,” Dean went on, watching himself scissor the boy. “Opening for me so pretty,” he sighed and started rimming Cas again.

Cas felt Dean’s tongue darting into himself, more flexible than his cock and soothing the aching emptiness inside him while Dean’s fingers brushed over his prostate.

“Fuck!” he panted, pushing himself lower to get Dean as deep as possible while he licked him hard and deep.

“Perfect cunt, boy,” he said, looking down at Cas’ ass and then up at him with an astonished expression as Cas brought his legs up.

“Wide open hole, Daddy. Just for your cock. Please, give it to me,” Cas said, wanting to say these filthy words, getting off on them and feeling like Dean’s most priced possession as the older man lined up and carefully started to thrust into him.

“You know what it does to me when you say things like that, right?” Dean half said, half moaned as he brought them both into the perfect position to fuck.

“Uh huh, yes!” Cas beamed with childish adoration on his face. “It does the same things to me.”

“Wanna pound you, baby. Want me to pound you?”

“Fuck yeah, Daddy!” Cas moaned as Dean picked up speed inside him, riding him almost as hard as Cas had done it last night.

They moaned shamelessly loud, not caring who heard them as Dean kept on fucking into Cas with sharp, edged thrusts.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect. Wanna turn you around and take you from behind,” Dean panted at Cas, who nodded and got onto all fours quickly.

It felt absolutely slutty to press his hips out for the taking, waiting with baited breath to being split open once more, but before he could feel self-conscious, Dean’s thick length was back inside him, his hips smacking against Cas’ ass and his hands on his hipbones, dragging the boy back onto his cock with force.

“Fuck, it’s so good,” Cas groaned brokenly. “Come inside me, Daddy.”

“Ngh yeah,” Dean panted loudly, his hand finding Cas’ bopping cock underneath him, jerking him a handful of times before the boy shouted his orgasm out, clenching around Dean inside him who couldn’t keep it together as Cas got tighter in orgasm. He came with a possessive roar as he marked Cas’ insides with his come.

Dean let out another couple of curses as he fucked his entire release out into the boy underneath him, giving both of their overstimulated bodies lusty pangs before he stilled, his hands roaming Cas’ perfect ass with his hole looking even more wrecked than before.

“Are you good, baby?” Dean asked, and Cas nodded a little, weak as a kitten.

“You took that so well,” Dean praised, laying down and pulling Cas’ backside to himself. “How are you feeling?” he asked, while he kissed the side of Cas’ neck and stroked over his torso.

“I’m amazing,” Cas said hoarsely. “But I’m too exhausted to do this again tonight,” he almost cried now.

“Baby, no. Don’t spoil the moment. It’s fine. We don’t need to do it more than once in one night.”

“But that’s all wasted time, then,” Cas sighed, a hitch in his voice. “I wish I wouldn’t have to sleep and could stay up with you the entire night. I don’t want to wake up and have to leave again right away.”

“Would you feel better if I put up an alarm so we have enough time to go again in the morning? Would that make you feel better about going back?”

“A bit,” Cas admitted, but despite his exhaustion from competing the whole day and the spectacular pounding he had just taken, he wanted to stay awake. To talk to Dean, to feel his strong hands on him, to just _be_ with him and forget how many dark paths they both had to go to get here.

He turned around to look at the older man, smiling and stroking over the shadow of a beard he saw on his face.

“What are we going to do though?” he asked one last question for the night.

“About everything?” Dean nodded with a tired smile. “You can get out next weekend, right?”

“Yes, I got it working.”

“Great, so I’ll park three blocks from your school, Friday afternoon and we have until Sunday evening, just between ourselves. That gives us some time to think, right? And I don’t want you to worry about Lucas or anything. You guys are still friends, that doesn’t change now, even if you come over to see me too. I mean you wanted to see me _before_ we slept together as well.”

“I know, but now I think I would switch just about anyone’s company for yours,” Cas admitted. “Does this make me a bad friend?” he voiced his thoughts about what he thought about Meg ever since she had as good as abandoned them.

“A bit perhaps,” Dean admitted. “But not as long as you find time for them too.”

“With the way it’s looking right now, I’ll have _too_ much time that I’m spending with other people,” Cas sighed, his arm sneaking around Dean’s side.

“That makes this moment even more precious, doesn’t it?” Dean said, stroking over Cas’ biceps before he tugged him close.

“It does,” Cas answered while he already drifted off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Cas woke up happy and warm, even though there was an annoying beeping sound in his ears.

“Who put the alarm on for Sunday morning?” he yawned, when a dark chuckle answered him from above his head.

“I did.”

“Dean!” Cas shouted out happily, clinging to him tighter and rubbing himself on Dean’s chest contently. “I don’t think I thanked you for my surprise, yet.”

“What surprise?” 

“You. Being here,” Cas answered simply. 

“I can’t do this every weekend you have a competition though,” Dean said.

“But I’m glad you did it this time. I really needed you.”

“Yeah, I figured. I couldn’t let it stand all out there and what we did Friday night and not try to figure out what was going on with you. You were so desperate and I wanted to know why.”

“Now you know why,” Cas said, but he didn’t want to talk about the heavy stuff this morning, so he slightly changed the subject. “So, which Cas do you like the most? The desperate one, the determined one or the slutty one?”

“Every last one,” Dean chuckled and slid into place on top of the boy. “Just everything. I love when you’re all filthy and needy for me. When you can’t take me hard enough. I like showing you all the things we can do together and how you give them back without another thought. You’re perfect.”

“But you’ve just talked about the sex now. I wanna be more for you. I wanna be someone you can talk to as well. I wanna be your everything,” he admitted with a small blush.

“You already are,” Dean let him know. “So do you want to know about my work now or do you prefer it if we take care of our hard ons first?” Dean asked, a little smirk on his lips as he rocked their cocks together.

“I don’t think that’s a question,” Cas answered and pulled Dean close, sighing when he felt his weight crush him a bit, which just turned him on even more.

“You’re so big and strong,” he told Dean as their cocks rubbed together, his short nail raking through the muscles on Dean’s lower back, flexing as he moved on him. “Fucking make me come, Daddy.”

“I’ll never get tired of hearing you say filthy shit for me, baby,” Dean chuckled, humping Cas harder and shooting ropes of come over the teen’s body in another minute, Cas following suit.

 

“I should get back,” Cas said, his heart nearly breaking because of it, but Dean nodded and watched as Cas searched for his clothes. He kept watching him until the teen pulled the door shut behind himself and walked away with a hollow feeling in his gut.

A thought struck him and he headed back, knocking on Dean’s door loudly.

When the older man opened, he looked incredibly guilty and breathed out loud and strained when he saw that it was only Cas.

“What’s going on, baby?” he whispered.

“I meant to ask but then I got distracted. Why didn’t you bring Lucas to the bus?”

“Because I can’t control my face around you and not everyone is as unaware as my son,” Dean whispered once more.

“Ah,” Cas beamed and got onto his tiptoes to give Dean another kiss. “That’s alright then,” he still smiled and Dean actually grinned and shook his head about him, his finger brushing over Cas’ cheek and his second hand giving his ass an affectionate squeeze, before he closed the door again.

When Cas walked back to his own room, he saw a movement a few doors down and he could have sworn that he saw Brian, one of the kids that had taunted him about his possible relationship earlier already, slink back into his room.

Cas gulped, his mind racing. What if he had seen Dean? The whole team knew how Lucas’ dad looked like.

Cas sighed and mentally kicked himself for asking himself even more questions already. Dean had been inside of his room, and Cas had moved his head through the door to kiss him, so Bri couldn’t have seen anything. Dean’s hand on Cas’ ass was just about the only give away of what he had done tonight and Cas was comfortable in the knowledge that no one could have seen from that distance that Dean’s hand was larger than a teenagers and a few veins showed on it as he grabbed his butt.

Something within Cas actually made him snicker about the fact that by next Monday, everyone would know that he was spending the night with someone even when out on a trip organised by the school. 

That would make their diner and milkshake rebellion look nothing but pathetic, he thought as he highfived the doorframe of his own room and cuddled up in the bed he hadn’t slept in, stretching and waiting for the inevitable questions and awed looks to be thrown his way once everyone knew that polite little wallflower Cas was having raunchy nights of hot sex.

 

“So what do I hear? Our Clarence of all people is the first of our class to lose his virginity?” Meg asked him as soon as Cas entered the school on Monday morning.

He only shrugged and rolled his eyes where she couldn’t see it. 

“You were the first,” he answered as he opened his locker.

“Uh uh, I’m not. I haven’t been a bad girl yet.”

“What about Johnny? You were with him for months.”

“Yeah, but we didn’t even go second base,” Meg said, her eyes wide with just the sort of awe that Cas had anticipated. 

“I find that hard to believe,” Cas said cooly, still a little miffed about Meg’s behaviour over the summer. “You were with him constantly. You can’t tell me that that didn’t happen.”

“It didn’t though,” Meg assured him, her forehead a bit cringed about having to talk about this. “It took us two months to even kiss and then he sort of panicked and pulled back more and more before he ended it.”

With a little start, Cas realised that Meg was actually sad about the end of her first relationship.

“You really liked him?” he asked, looking surprised and awkwardly hugging her around the shoulders to comfort her.

“I did,” she said, biting her lip and clasping her books tighter as they moved down the hall to their classroom. “But I think that scared him. He didn’t know what to make of me coming over all the time and wanting to be close. I don’t think he fully got it. But I couldn’t help it, I-”

“You had this urge to spend a lot of time with him in the hope that he liked it as much as you did?” Cas supplied, describing his own feelings about the thing with Dean.

“Yes,” Meg nodded and stopped talking after that.

Cas thought about this. It had to be terrible if someone you liked didn’t like you back or wanted to spend time with you the way you wanted it.

“So, this thing of yours?” Meg asked when they took their seats. “Does it make you happy?”

“It does,” Cas answered with an overeager smile that made him want to hide his face because it had escaped him but Meg didn’t mind his embarrassment.

“I’m glad. And I don’t mind giving you an alibi as often as you like. Just make sure your parents only call my line and not my parents’, ok?”

“I don’t think I even have the other number.”

“Great, let’s keep it that way,” Meg grinned at him one last time when their teacher already came in and the class started calming down.

 

Swimming practice brought Cas to the conclusion that he didn’t like that his night out made him interesting again. The boys pretended like everything was ok and they clapped his shoulders as if he had just run a marathon and Bri actually came towards him and asked him how his night had been, while Cas noticed that the whole changing room went eerily quiet.

“It was good,” Cas said at a loss for what else to say and a little confused about everyone wanting to know his business all of a sudden. Had the team turned into the same type of person that Meg was?

“So you’re really having sex? What’s it feel like?” Bri kept asking, wringing his hands.

“I doubt I could compare it to something you will understand,” Cas answered, well aware that Bri was as straight as a ramp and would never know how good it felt to have someone fuck him.

“But it’s good, right?” the other boy asked, his eyes wide open.

"It is. It’s the best I’ve ever felt and I particularly like falling asleep together,” Cas answered truthfully.

“That’s nice. Do we know your boyfriend? I mean does he go to this school?”

“No, uh… he doesn’t. I can only see him on the weekends.”

“That’s rough,” Bri cringed his forehead sympathetically and clapped Cas’ back again who felt like he had gotten more appreciative slaps for his sex life than his wins on the weekend because one by one the whole team passed him by, some nodding, others slapping his back again and others even saying: “Good on you,” before moving on.

“Hey, Cas?” he heard a rather timid voice ask behind him.

“What?” he asked angrily, not in the mood to hear any more appreciative quips. He turned around and Lucas flinched back from Cas’ expression.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for being an ass over the weekend, y’know?” Lucas shuffled his feet awkwardly. “And I understand if you don’t wanna be my friend anymore and you don’t even have to talk to me anymore. But it kinda hurts me that I didn’t know about you having a boyfriend. I thought I was your best friend, and we said we wouldn’t be like Meg if it ever came to this.”

“And I won’t be like her,” Cas assured him. “We don’t even have to talk about this. We can still be friends just like before.”

“Great,” Lucas beamed. “You wanna come over to mine later?”

“Sure,” Cas agreed, two motives in his head, but happy to find that he still liked to be around Lucas too. Dean had been right, they were still friends even though Cas couldn’t help but wonder how Lucas would react as soon as he found out about his father and him. Hopefully he wouldn’t know until years later as a best case scenario, but even so, he’d be pretty shaken up by the news.

Cas sighed when he was the last one in the changing rooms and walked out past the others. The weekend and Dean-time couldn’t come too soon.


	9. Chapter 9

Over the course of the week, things settled again. The team didn’t celebrate him as the national hero of sex anymore and he was pleased to find that Meg and he could talk again, now that they both made experienced how the first love can change a person.

Lucas who was still very much a child in that respect didn’t forgive Meg as easily as Cas, but he always left her a spot at their usual lunch table, which was something after all.

In the evenings, when Cas went with Lucas, he still waited eagerly for Dean to arrive from work. Monday, they were still able to keep their desire for each other in check. Tuesday, Dean came down to their pool and pressed Cas against the wall once Lucas was up the stairs, following the smell of food.

“Kiss me, baby,” Dean rasped and Cas eagerly obliged, using all the little tricks he had picked up on already. His tongue circled around Dean’s in little butterfly motions, his hands stroked through the older man’s hair and his lips pushed and sucked alternately until Dean heaved in frustration.

“Fuck Cas,” he whispered hoarsely, his hands sneaking underneath the wet fabric of Cas’ trunks and the teen hissed in pleasure when Dean kneaded his ass, parting the cheeks and rubbing his hole.

“Don’t you think that’s a little primeval?” Cas grinned, his hands on Dean’s head as he kissed Cas’ neck and nibbled his way down.

“What is?” he rasped, too focused on making Cas rabid to focus.

“Fuck. Cas,” the teen sassed him in a dull voice, sounding like a caveman. “I mean where’s the romance in that?” he smiled deviously and Dean sassily waggled his head, before grinning predatorily.

“Who knew you could be so funny,” he rolled his eyes and just like Cas had assaulted his lips earlier, Dean now kissed him until Cas' lungs burned from not getting enough oxygen, even as Dean had one hand down the back of his trucks and one down the front, jerking him fast and hard.

“Shit fuck,” Cas panted as he came on Dean’s hand.

“Who’s the primeval one now, huh?” Dean waggled his come-coated fingers in front of the boy, who wasn’t in the mood for laughing anymore. He sucked Dean’s fingers into his mouth, licking his own taste off them.

Dean’s eyes nearly popped as he watched Cas slurp around his digits.

“I’m not primeval, I’m a tease,” Cas judged himself as he let go of Dean and started to dress.

“Baby, c’mon,” Dean grabbed him tight, pressing his hard on into Cas’ ass. “You can’t leave me like this.”

“We don’t have any more time,” Cas shoved him off, but gave him another kiss as well.

“I swear tomorrow night, I’ll give you head,” he whispered into Dean’s ear and then seductively moved over to the door upstairs. “You coming?” he purred.

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes scrunched shut: “Give me a minute.”

 

Wednesday, Cas fulfilled his promise. He and Lucas were in the living room after dinner, playing some stupid sports game Cas didn’t like, because why just move your thumbs when you can just as well go out and play the game for real?

He tapped down the corridor and opened the bathroom door.

“Oh sorry, Mr. Winchester. I didn’t know you were in there,” he said, blushing when he saw Dean inside, waiting for him.

“Ha ha, funny,” the older man said and pulled Cas inside, his mouth already hot and fierce on the teens'.

Cas started stroking Dean immediately, fumbling around with the older man's pants. The sound of the zipper of Dean’s slacks opening was obscenely loud in the echoing, tiled room and Cas didn't leave room for more words as he went onto his knees with a gasp.

“Such a pretty, huge cock,” he said, licking stripes up it so it was slick enough to jerk before he laid both hands on it and pumped it, teasing the head against his tongue.

He waited until the first strangled moan escaped Dean to finally take it into his mouth and suck it properly, taking as much as he could without gagging.

“Fuck yeah, Cas. Just like that. Hmm, I’m gonna come.”

Cas nodded up at Dean, moving his whole body as he knelt and sucking really hard until he felt hot liquid shoot into his mouth.

“Are you still mad at me for being a tease, yesterday?” he came back up wiping his mouth, his lips the same dark pink as his cheeks and kissed Dean, still with traces of him all over his mouth.

Dean only answered with a filthy moan, picking him up and setting him down on the counter, thumping over Cas’ own erection, but their 5 minutes were up once again because it was high time for Cas to go home. He took hold of Dean’s fingers which were just on the brink of making him cream his pants, and tangled them together with his own before both of them left the bathroom and unwillingly unclasped their hands.

When he got home it was only to find it as empty as he had left it in the morning.

His mom was gonna be gone the whole day and his father was apparently out on a hunt for another publisher, since his last one had stopped publishing his series of third-class horror stories after only two books. Or just maybe, his head reminded him, he's in his study, drunk off his ass.

Cas sighed and called Meg to spend some time with him because he was really bored all alone by himself, what with no swimming and Dean’s cock anywhere in sight to play with more tonight.

 

Thursday, Dean took him home just after dinner, but since they made out in the car for over an hour before Cas reached home, he came back at his usual time.

He had pleaded with Dean that they had enough time to do it at least twice now, but Dean had shaken his head, continuing to map the teenager’s body out with his hands as he laid underneath him in the back of his car.

“Let’s spare your precious little ass until we can use it for the whole of the weekend, ok?”

“I don’t want logic,” Cas pouted, even though he grudgingly admitted that Dean was right. “I want sex!”

Dean only chuckled darkly, freeing both their cocks and fisting them together until Cas saw stars.

“Ok, I give up,” he moaned breathlessly, post orgasmic bliss making him cling to Dean tightly. “Tomorrow though, I want all of you.”

“Always have to have the last word. Do you, baby?”

“Yes, I-” Cas started, but Dean seemingly heard enough because he closed the boy’s mouth with his own for another couple of minutes passionate kissing.

“Tomorrow evening, I’m gonna get laid,” he sing-songed under his breath when he was finally back home and took a shower before bed, his lips swollen from their lengthy make out session, he still sang and was even dancing a little inside the cubicle underneath the hot spray of water. His violent movements caused him to have to grasp the wall tightly because he nearly slipped while doing them. He blushed violently even though nobody could see him and still whistled his own made up melody to ‘I’m gonna get laid’ as he got into bed.

 

As is strangely common, the time until he would be with Dean dragged itself on more and more as it got closer. His first lesson (English) seemed to be of the duration of at least three usual periods and every one that followed appeared even longer.

“So Clarence,” Meg grinned as they were finally in line to get their lunch. “Big weekend of love for you, right?”

“Yes,” Cas nodded, debating with himself if he should choose pizza to celebrate the occasion, but then figured it would only taste half as good as when he could tease Dean with eating it obscenely.

“You’re already there in your head, aren’t you?” Meg said wisely, polishing an apple on her sleeve as the queue moved on.

“Yeah, sorry,” Cas apologised a little ruefully because he was neglecting the moment for the anticipation of other company.

“I don’t mind,” Meg said and guided Cas away from his usual table. “I actually wanna talk to you more about this mystery and I don’t think you’d like your pals to hear it, right?”

“No,” Cas sighed, not wanting to talk about this, in case his tongue should slip, but figuring he owed Meg a bit more info since she covered for him without a second thought.

“So tell me about the mystery man. How did you meet?”

“Eh…”

Shit, he thought. He didn’t know what to say, he hadn’t really come up with a cover story after all.

Meg sat there, munching her pasta and expectantly waiting for Cas to tell her more than just ‘eh’.

“I don’t… uh…,” he drew a total blank and blushed because he didn’t know what to say. How was he supposed to ever keep up the disguise if he folded at the very first test?

“I mean I know a bit,” Meg helped him out. “I know you can’t tell your parents. So I’m guessing mystery man is kinda a bad boy. You know, like with lots of tattoos or a dirty secret. Perhaps he’s still in the closet about being gay or he’s older than us. Any of close to the point?”

“One or two of those,” Cas gulped down his salad. It was easier to have Meg guess than to say anything himself.

“Is it _Dean_ Winchester?” Meg asked slyly and Cas let his fork fall onto the ground with a clatter and his gaze panically unfocusing.

“How the fuck did you know?” he said without any life in his voice as Meg grinned and clapped her hands in front of her mouth to stifle off her loud giggle.

“Great, just great,” Cas went on, blushing crimson as he got up to get himself another fork, giving both of them time to calm down. When he sat back down and watched the new fork shake in his fist, he knew that his little walk had done nothing to soothe his nerves, but had actually made it worse.

“Does everyone know? Lucas?” Cas asked quietly, fearing the worst.

“No of course not. What kinda person do you take me for?” Meg leaned in and whispered frantically. “I had my suspicions for longer. In case you didn’t know, I _know_ you. And I‘ve seen you turn into a human puppy every time he‘s around. And how he looked as if you were more edible than this scrumptious apple,” she bit into the fruit ravenously. “But I didn’t think that either of you had the balls to actually go through with it,” she whispered while chewing her apple, before she swallowed the bite and then going on: “Tell me how it happened. I’m dying to know and you are actually dying to talk about it.”

“How do you know?” Cas whispered back.

“Same answer. I know you, Clarence.”

“I don’t know if I should tell. You already know too much.”

“Yeah, because you’re an open book. Look, would it help you if I swore on my father’s grave to not tell anything?”

Cas gulped, knowing how much Meg had adored her late father and how she had struggled to get back on her feet after his deadly fall a few years ago.

“That would help,” he nodded and with a deep breath, he started telling Meg all about how he and Dean had gotten together. She nodded at the right parts, and ripped open her eyes at how bold Cas had been to get the older man. When he came to tell her about the last weekend, she smiled adoringly.

Then she sighed and shook her dark mob of hair with: “Yeah, so gross. I nearly puked out my lunch just now. And this weekend you’re gonna spend with him? Like the whole weekend?”

“Yes,” Cas nodded, smiling at the empty plates about that fact.

“Wow,” Meg stared at him. “You’ve really got it bad. How will you manage this?” it was obvious what she thought about.

“I don’t know. I don’t see how this thing can go on undetected. Sooner or later, someone will notice.”

“Looks like you, my boy, need to be a better liar. And you need to come up with a proper cover story,” her eyes shone with the beginning of a cunning plan.

Cas felt a wave of thankfulness for Meg well up inside him.

She caught his doubtless, rather dopey expression, and smiled.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just… I missed talking to you. And thanks for trying to help me…,” he played with a napkin they hadn’t used. “You’re not… you know… grossed out by the whole thing?”

“Grossed out by your soppy love story?” Meg slapped her hands to her face in mock shock. “Yes, totally.”

“No, I didn’t mean that. I mean because… Dean is older. Like a lot.”

“We can’t choose who we fall in love with, Clarence,” Meg said, completely in earnest now. “It just happens. And I’m happy you found someone who loves you back.”

“We don’t…uh…,” Cas stammered and blushed. “That hasn’t come up, yet.”

“It will,” Meg said with absolute confidence.

They were startled by the bell ringing and the afternoon lessons starting and didn’t talk while they took their trays away and got their books.

“For what it’s worth though,” Meg said when she was heading to Geography and Cas moved on to Spanish. “I think you should tell Lucas soon. Like maybe not immediately, but prepare him for the knowledge. It would break him if he found it out too late, or from someone else.”

Cas nodded, feeling equally terrified and guilty, so Meg put a quieting hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll help you figure this out,” she nodded before she darted off to her class while Cas turned to face another couple of endless Dean-less hours.


	10. Chapter 10

Even though he thought the rest of the day would never pass, Castiel eventually found himself outside of the school with his hair still a bit wet because he hadn’t bothered to dry it properly even as the fall around him definitely picked up more momentum and he shivered as he stood by Lucas’ side, talking a bit until Dean would come and take his son to his grandmother.

Cas’ ears pricked when he heard the familiar rumble of Dean's car and he knew it must look comical the way he deliberately squinted his eyes shut to have something else to focus on so his face didn’t involuntarily break out into the huge grin he actually wanted to plaster onto it instead.

“Hey, you crazy kids,” he heard the voice that had haunted him in every wet dream he had ever had, even as Lucas moved over to the car and pulled the shotgun side open immediately.

“Hi dad,” he said, flopping down even while Dean still looked at Cas.

“Hello Dean,” Cas rasped, seeing the older man start a bit, and shooting Lucas a glance who hadn’t noticed anything unusual.

“Hey Cas,” Dean replied with a shit-eating grin. “Can I drop you off somewhere?”

“But aren’t you going to the other side of town?” Cas asked, pretending not to want to jump headlong into the car as he usually would from a starting block, right now.

“Yeah, but it’s no trouble. I can take you home after.”

“Great. Thanks,” Cas said gratefully and told Lucas as he climbed into the backseat: “Your dad is awesome.”

“Yeah, he thinks so,” Lucas said disinterestedly, still not noticing anything.

Cas tried to think about how Meg’s whispered beginnings of a plan had actually worked so far. To slowly acclimatise Lucas to the idea that Cas and his dad were close by Cas switching to Dean’s first name and making small compliments like he one he had just uttered.

Dean however blushed a little at those new changes in Cas behaviour and the boy felt immensely proud that he was the one who put that pretty blush on that chiselled, perfect face.

The drive to Mary Winchester’s house seemed to be over too soon and Cas was slightly panicky when he thought about the fact that the weekend he had wanted so badly to arrive, would possibly also be over before he knew it.

But as he climbed over into the front seat once Lucas rushed off with a hurried wave of the hand and Dean gave Cas his own hand to hold now they were alone for a minute, he abandoned thinking too far ahead and decided to just enjoy the time they had.

 

“One room please,” Dean said as they stood in front of the hotel concierge.

Dean had driven them into the next town where nobody knew them, but even here, the receptionist raised an eyebrow at them and particularly Cas who stared past the man so he didn’t have to catch his eye because that would make him blush for sure.

“I’m afraid we don’t have any rooms with individual beds, either single or queen-sized, available at this hour,” he stared at the clock showing 8 PM and therefore way past reservation time.

“Damn,” Dean cursed. “Any other beds then?”

“We have a king-sized one…” the concierge frowned even more and Dean lightly tapped on Cas’ foot to do something.

“I’m tired, daddy,” Cas said immediately, whiny and ill-tempered. “I wanna go to sleep.”

“Of course,” Dean patted Cas’ shoulder absolutely platonically and then met the receptionist’s face with a strained air to him.

The man behind the counter seemed to consider for a minute and then shrugged when Cas yawned wide and fake.

“Here you are. Room 202 is yours.”

“Thank you,” Dean said as he paid and picked up the keycard for their room. “C’mon, son. Let’s get you some sleep,” he said loud and just as fake as Cas' earlier yawn when he basically carried the boy to the elevator.

“Do you think that went alright?” Cas asked when they were inside, riding up.

“No, I don’t. We’re not coming back here after this time.”

“It’s probably because I don’t remotely look like you that he wasn’t really fooled,” Cas said, barely able to hold back from touching Dean, only not doing it because he knew there were cameras around.

“Yeah,” Dean said quietly as the elevator door opened with a ding and they already saw their door in front of them. Dean slid the keycard through the right opening and both of them slipped inside.

Cas wanted to search for a light switch, but felt himself ripped close and pressed to the door so that it thudded loudly where his back hit it.

“Fuck,” he bit out just before Dean’s hands were on him, hard and ripping and his tongue was in Cas’ mouth by comparison hot and sensual.

Cas fumbled around, finally finding the light switch, even as Dean almost stumbled when he lifted him up.

For several minutes there was nothing but short breaths and beginning moans as Dean got them both naked and then he carried Cas over to the bed, dumping him on it so the mattress shook and before the teen had his bearings back, Dean was already on him, roughly rubbing his knee between his asscheeks.

Cas was glad that Dean had kept his senses long enough to fumble around in his schoolbag for the lube he had packed this morning after a quick text to do so; now he could fully fall apart as the older man’s fingers fucked into him.

“Please! More,” Cas nearly screamed as Dean took him apart as quickly as he could take it.

“Doing so well, my darling. Fuck, you’re so beautiful like this,” Dean wanted to go slower, take his time, but Cas shook his head impatiently and clambered up to his knees, pushing his hips up desperately.

“Just do it. Be rough with me, I need it,” he said, and when he felt strong hands on his ass, pulling it so that Dean’s cock could find it’s way inside, Cas knew he wasn’t the only one who needed it bad right now.

“Please, Dean. Harder. Just go harder,” he begged, even as Dean slowly pushed into him.

Cas took up the older man’s hand and laid it gently onto the side of his own head.

“Press me down while you fuck me, Daddy. I can _take_ it.”

Dean groaned loudly and Cas gave edged shouts as he felt Dean give pressure to his head as he started to pound into him.

“Fuck, that’s it. Take it,” Dean roared as his hips snapped forward and he held Cas in place, who happily drooled onto the comforter as his whole system was set on fire.

“Such a perfect ass,” Dean praised, smacking it lightly a couple of times, relishing how Cas’ cheeks jiggled even as he was taken apart by Dean’s thick length moving inside him.

“Slap me again,” Cas begged, his whole being reduced to his ass and his throbbing cock.

“You like that, huh? You’re so slutty for me,” Dean said, letting his hand fall onto the boy a couple more times, before he grabbed Cas’ cock and pumped it hard, jerking Cas’ body back onto himself even while he still held him down.

“Come for Daddy, little boy,” he moaned as Cas clenched around him in orgasm and came onto his hand.

“Fuck!” Cas’ voice was muffled as he turned his head, biting into the sheets as he came and then screamed out: “Come inside me, Daddy. Need you to come inside my tight little ass.”

“Fuck yeah, baby,” Dean panted and heaved himself into the teen pointedly a couple of times before he finally stilled and shot out everything he had.

Even as he was still coming, he pulled Cas up, pressing his smaller body against himself and gently pulled at his head so that he could kiss him, open mouthed and dirty.

Cas leaned into the kiss, sighing and humming as Dean slowed down and almost lazily stroked him everywhere.

“I need a few minutes like this,” Cas whispered, turning around and throwing his arms around the older man, pulling him down onto the mattress and never stopping to kiss him.

He noticed how Dean gasped whenever Cas emitting little noises into their kiss and then he did them deliberately; panting little gasps that made Dean break out in shivers.

“My baby, my sweet precious baby,” Dean whispered, his hands in Cas’ hair. He nuzzled him a bit as Cas opened his eyes and traced Dean’s features with his finger tips. “I think I’ll order room service now, ok? And Cas, I have a present for you.”

“A present? For me?” Cas said with his eyes bright and shining.

“Yes,” Dean nodded, getting up a bit to fish inside his messenger bag which had landed somewhere across the room in their haste to get naked. “Here,” he handed Cas a plug. “That way, if you ambush me in the car again, you can carry me around inside you for as long as you like.”

“Or I’ll just put it in when I feel like having you and can’t wait,” Cas said, pulling Dean closer again, showering him with kisses. “I love it. It’s perfect. Now I wish I had a gift for you too.”

“It’s the biggest gift that you’re _here._  With me,” Dean said and somehow managed not to make it sound incredibly cheesy, but then again, they had just fucked like animals, meaning the situation wasn’t really anything remotely close to cheesy in the first place. Nevertheless, Cas loved to hear Dean’s words and climbed into his lap, holding Dean’s face with his hands that looked small on the older man's face and whispered: “I’m in love with you,” and then he blushed like the setting sun.

Dean raised his hand with a miraculous expression drawn on his face, lightly touching Cas who immediately burrowed his cheek in Dean’s much larger palm.

“The feeling’s mutual, baby.”

Cas’ eyes flew open and a smile played over his lips as he pressed Dean back into the mattress, using all his weight to pin him down as he brought their mouths together again. Dinner could wait, he thought, possibly forever.


	11. Chapter 11

Eventually, Cas picked himself up though and Dean used the opportunity to finally order dinner while the teen cleaned himself up in the bathroom, putting his new plug in for the first time. It felt odd, to be open when Dean wasn't inside him, but when Cas clenched around it, he gasped and decided he liked it.

Cas pressed his ear to the bathroom door and waited until the food was there and silence fell in the main room again. Only then, he came out of the bathroom to see Dean arrange the food on the tray that the steward had brought in.

“Rice is ok? I didn’t know what you’d like so I ordered a bit of everything,” Dean said nervously as Cas slipped into his briefs that Dean had just kicked out of sight when their food came.

“It’s fine, Dean. You know I eat nearly anything when you bring dinner. What’s so special now?” Cas asked, peeling the shirt off Dean’s back as if it had offended him that he couldn’t see his skin anymore.

He put the offending article on his own back as soon as Dean was out of it and he brought up the cuffs of the too big shirt, smelling faint traces of the cologne that Dean had put on this morning on the fabric. Dean watched him close his eyes because of the intoxicating smell before the boy caught his gaze again and said with perfect innocence: “You smell so good.”

“And you look so good in my clothes, baby,” Dean replied, being relieved of an answer as to what in particular was so special now, because they both knew it without words anyway.

They were walking over to the table in the room and Cas frowned at the second chair on the other side it, offended just like he had been by the shirt, that it was keeping him from being as close to Dean as he wanted. He seized the piece of furniture, scraped it over the floor and put it right next to Dean’s elbow, sinking down with a proud smile and caught the older man's smiling confused expression.

“Make sure to leave it in one piece though.”

“It was too far away,” Cas smiled and watched as Dean started to eat and could barely lift his hand without grazing Cas.

“You might as well sit in my lap,” he said, and Cas nodded businesslike, straddled him and put his feet up on the now empty second chair.

“I was kidding,” Dean said stunned but held Cas tight to steady him.

“ _I_ wasn’t though,” Cas replied, got the second fork and put the first bit of food he could reach safely, into his mouth.

He felt Dean lay his head onto his chest and Cas thought he had never enjoyed a meal more than this, though he was hardly aware of what was even passing his lips because he was distracted by Dean listened to his heartbeat while he continued to eat.

“Tell me about your week. Something I don’t know yet,” Dean said about halfway through, the fingers of his left hand massaging Cas’ side where they held him.

“Uh, yeah there is something. I told you that a friend of mine is giving me a cover story, right?”

“You did.”

“Well, she sorta found out about us.”

“What?” Dean lifted his head off Cas’ chest, sheer panic in his eyes.

“It’s alright though, I trust her.”

“I can’t believe this, Cas. You know we shouldn’t tell anyone.”

“I know,” Cas said with a guilty blush. “She found me out. Because she’s seen it in the way we acted around each other even before…,” Cas nodded to the rumpled bedding, “and she’s happy to help us out. Really, you don’t have to worry.”

“I don’t trust anyone with this, Cas. I trust neither of us, and certainly not someone who could use it against us.”

“You don’t trust me?” Cas said, holding on to the older man as if he’d tell him to go home in a minute.

“No, nor me for that matter. You know how crazy I am about you and you’re not very subtle, either. It shows, Cas. Seeing as someone knows about this, means _anyone_ might put two and two together. You get what I‘m saying?”

“I do. But sometimes you have to trust someone,” Cas told Dean, confident that Meg wouldn’t betray him, no matter what. In another thought, he added: “And Lucas should know.”

“Ah, hell no,” Dean shook his head with harsh tugs of his neck. “He can barely see someone kiss on TV. How do you feel he’d react if he found out I’m fucking his best friend?”

Cas nodded, seeing Dean’s point, but added quietly: “He should get ready for the knowledge at least. So that it doesn’t come as a shock. That’s why I’ll switch to calling you Dean, even when he’s around and I’m gonna tell you how amazing you are.”

“Right,” Dean gulped, not really able to handle compliments like this, but he laid his head back onto Cas’ chest. “I agree about the shocking part and it’s actually not a bad idea to get him used to the idea of us liking each other before we tell him.”

After a few minutes of Cas soothingly rubbing Dean’s head, the older man asked: “So anything else new in your life?”

“Yes, I think I’m abandoning the swimming team to take drama lessons.”

“Are you kidding me _now_?”

“No, I’m not,” Cas said. In fact, he had thought about the matter a while, thinking that it might be best to quit the team and move on to something he had two times a week, not five times, and he’d not have to sacrifice as many weekends for.

“I could see you on the weekends when Lucas is away and we wouldn’t even have to come up with another excuse.”

“So, you’re really thinking of quitting?”

Cas hummed in acknowledgement.

“Promise to think about it more though. Wouldn’t you miss it?”

“I would, but it’s not as bad as missing you.”

“I don’t wanna be the reason for you to give this up. It could well bring you into college if you stay on the team. I just want what’s best for you. Not to mention, your body looks amazing because of all the swimming.”

“That’s not a real reason,” Cas gasped out when Dean’s keen fingers kneaded his strong thigh muscles and slowly worked their way up, slipping underneath his underwear so that Cas let out a low chuckle because it tickled.

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” Dean groaned and let his hand rest where it was even as Cas adjusted on his lap and now sat differently, throwing his left arm around Dean’s shoulder to hold on.

“Tell me about _your_ week,” the boy said now and nodded at words like management budget and meeting, even venturing a few questions which brought forth long, complicated explanations from Dean and he did his best to understand everything.

“Now,” Dean said at last, throwing his fork into an empty food container. “Would you like me to explain my preferred method of filing as well, or would you like to go back to bed?”

“Is the filing system as interesting as what you’ll do to me once we're there again?” Cas asked innocently, clearly wanting the second option.

“Probably not,” the older man replied and carried Cas over to the bed.

Cas splayed himself on the sheets once he felt himself put down, Dean’s shirt on his own back falling open and revealing toned muscle, and with a happy feeling he saw the hunger in Dean’s eyes, the yearning to touch and claim, but then he looked back at the used dishes.

“Let’s get that out now, before we do anything. I don’t think you could walk over into the bathroom once I’m done with you for the night.”

“Promises, promises,” Cas smiled and got up again, moving over into the bathroom where he waited until the dishes were gone again.

“Baby you can come out now,” Dean said outside the door when Cas hadn’t moved even five minutes later.

The boy stood in the bathroom, smirking and chuckling at himself in the bathroom mirror when he heard Dean call him again.

“God, Cas! Finally move your freakin' gorgeous ass over here!”

Cas didn’t though, smirking at his reflection at the growing desperation in the older man’s voice.

Another five minutes later, Dean called him again: “You don’t need to come out anymore, I already jerked off.”

The last thing Cas saw of his own reflection were his eyes opening in panic before he ran into the main room, coming to an abrupt stop in front of the bed. Dean lay there, naked and completely relaxed as Cas stemmed his fists into his sides: “You didn’t!”

“No, I didn’t,” Dean said and pulled at Cas without warning until the teen came to land on him with a dull thud that pressed the air out of his lungs.

“Mean. Mean Dean,” he said, sitting up in the older man's lap, towering above him, accusation evident in the crease of his brow.

“Well, you were being a tease,” Dean smirked at him, pulling his underwear off and grabbing Cas’ ass hard. “So do you want to pout now, or sit on my cock and ride it?”

“Can’t I do both?” Cas still pouted, even as Dean slipped his own shirt off the teen’s back and Cas fumbled his new plug out of his ass with shaky fingers.

“If you want me to shoot my load here and now before you get it inside you, you can.”

Cas pouted harder at that, even when Dean slipped into his ass, slick with lube from putting the plug in and huge and perfect inside of him like always.

“Fuck, Cas. I mean it. You turn me on so fucking much, no need to add to it by looking even more adorable when I’m inside you.”

“Pouty face,” Cas rasped, even as he started riding Dean’s cock and smirked when the older man groaned and dug his fingers into the teen’s hips, guiding him in his movements on his dick.

“Damnit Cas. Just stop it and come here,” Dean moaned when Cas didn’t quit pouting even when he'd rather moan. He followed the pull downwards, pouting one last time before meeting Dean for a hungry kiss, cantering his hips up and Dean took over, thrusting into him from underneath, guiding his cock deep into Cas with his hand.

He pulled out suddenly, and Cas felt for the first time how it felt to have a dick slap his hole from the outside. The smacking sound and the impact of Dean’s cock against his open hole made Cas keen and buck in desperation.

“You want it, baby? Want me to put it back in?”

“Yes, oh yes!” Cas shouted when Dean stopped his teasing and fucked back into him with a mighty heave.

“Let’s turn round,” Dean said, flipping Cas, pinning him underneath himself.

“Not. Fair,” Cas bit out between thrusts. “You know how I love it when you trap me. I’m gonna come like this. Fuck Dean, yeah. I’m gonna-”

Cas’ voice broke off when Dean fucked his orgasm out of him with hard shoves.

“Fucking hell, you’re perfect,” Dean groaned when Cas could utter nothing but strangled half words and moans anymore.

“Dea… use… ngh… me,” he panted, and felt his legs bent up the older man coming deep inside his ass once more and then stilling and showering the boy with more kisses.

After a few minutes, Cas noticed Dean's kisses and strokes of his hands slowing down and then just resting on him, breathing so deeply and evenly that Cas knew he must have fallen asleep. As much as he loved to feel Dean’s full weight, he still had to lift his body off himself a bit, hearing a gasped: “Cas,” from the sleeping man on top of him as he lunged for the discarded dress shirt and pulled it over their entangled bodies. He wasn’t up to turning them so their heads rested on the pillows, much less for pulling the comforter up over them. In fact, he hummed a bit, clenched around Dean’s perfectly spent cock inside himself fondly one last time, and then drifted off himself.


	12. Chapter 12

In the middle of the night, Cas woke up to someone rubbing himself on his backside and with a shiver, he realised how he had gone to sleep and who was with him.

“You cold, baby?” Dean whispered into his ear, and Cas nodded sleepily, the shirt that he had draped over them hung almost on the ground, not over their bodies anymore and Dean’s strong fingers on his side weren’t the only reason to make his hair stand up on edge and his skin breaking out in goosebumps.

He felt himself picked up gently and turned around, then he felt Dean spoon up behind him, finally pulling the blankets over their bodies.

“Get you nice and warm soon, baby,” Dean told him and rubbed Cas’ arm for emphasis.

“ ‘d be faster if you’d...” Cas mumbled, pressing out his ass for Dean to slip back into.

“Insatiable,” Dean muttered under his breath but slipped his cock right back into Cas, only having left him for how long it had taken to get both of them into bed properly.

He sighed contently and grabbed around Cas’ front, who held Dean’s hand tightly, moving languidly as Dean slowly fucked into him.

The sex started slow and stayed that way even when they both worked towards their orgasm, being more focused on touching than the frantic nature in which they usually came together.

“I love taking my time like this,” Dean summed it up, slowly plowing into Cas with his whole, bigger body pressed against him. “I love being so close to you.”

“Me too, Dean,” Cas moaned and sleepily turned his head to have Dean kiss him even as he felt his prostate nailed sweetly and his orgasm was building.

He stared up at the older man, his hair twisted, his face flushed and his lips swollen as he came apart onto his own hand.

“So beautiful,” Dean whispered, kneading Cas’ chest muscle and stroking over his nipples as he came inside the teen, his hands and thrusts slowing down afterwards.

Cas felt Dean’s beginning scruff scrape his shoulder as he kissed him there, laying his head down and sighing exhaustedly: “Let’s sleep for real now, ok?”

“Mhmm,” Cas hummed, getting comfortable in the strong hold of Dean surrounding him like this.

 

In the morning, Dean asked Cas if he planned on leaving the hotel room until they had to and Cas shook his head, happy to be holed up with Dean for the entire rest of their time together; too greedy and intent on taking everything he could get because they hadn’t even made plans for when they could meet up again.

“I can’t really say anything yet,” Dean shook his head over breakfast, Cas again in his lap because he couldn’t bear to leave an inch of space between them before he had to. “I have some duty events to attend over the next couple of weeks and I don’t think I can take a weekend off like this for a while.”

“Oh ok,” Cas said, his scrambled eggs not looking as appetising as a second ago.

“But hey, we still got the car. And the bathroom. And perhaps the phone?”

“You mean like phone sex?” Cas blushed. “I don’t know how to do that.”

“It’s no different then when you talk dirty to me when we’re doing it. You just tell me where you want me and what you want me to do. Or you tell me what you‘re doing as we talk.”

“I don’t think I can,” Cas blushed again and he saw a predatory glint in Dean’s eyes which told him what would happen once breakfast was over.

 

“Come on, Cas. Talk,” Dean encouraged him, sitting on a chair facing the bed and palming his still clothed dick because he had dressed to let room service in to take their breakfast dishes away.

Cas on the other hand was completely naked and with his plug up his hole on the bed, spreading himself a little, but blushing and trying to cover himself up whenever he tried to open himself up fully with Dean watching him so keenly.

“You’re absolutely gorgeous like this, baby. Show off a little, just for me.”

Cas nodded and let his hand glide down his body like he would when he was alone and in the mood to jerk off.

He heard Dean’s breath hitch when he played with his cock, letting the tips of his fingers glide over it, squeezing it gently to test how hard it was.

“Fucking hell,” Dean groaned out and Cas looked up in amazement, seeing Dean slide his hand into his underwear, staring straight at him. “Look so good like this, Cas. Stroking yourself and having that plug up your ass like that. Show me how you clench around it as if it were my dick.”

Cas nodded happily, the effect he had on Dean making him bolder even though he still felt very exposed in this unfamiliar situation. Nevertheless, he pulled his ass apart, letting Dean see the base of the toy inside him being moved as he worked it in the little wave motions that always made Dean lose it for him.

“Fuck this,” Dean pulled off his clothes in a swift motion and within a minute was circling the plug around in Cas’ ass after jumping onto the bed quickly.

“Didn’t we want to practice dirty talking and not touching?”

“Plenty of time for that later,” Dean rasped, gently easing the plug out of Cas, teasing it over his stretched rim before letting it slip free, inserting his fingers into Cas instead and thrusting as deep as he could.

“But you could describe how it feels what I’m doing right now.”

“It’s too easy when you’re right here,” Cas said, biting his lips afterwards and watched as Dean worked him. “I love how the tendons in your arm come out and how your muscles flex when you’re fucking me with your fingers.”

“Baby,” Dean groaned out, his voice so thick with arousal that Cas was feeling pretty proud with himself right now, but another push to his prostate made him desperate all over again.

“That was perfect. Can you say more?”

“You know just how to do me, Dean. I won’t ever be with someone else because there can’t be someone who’s better than you and who does me so well.”

He sprawled himself a little more, his body glowing with sexual energy so that it took him a while until he noticed that Dean had stopped.

“What? Was that wrong?” Cas blushed immediately, trying to hide his face in shame, but Dean removed his fingers of his burning face.

“That wasn’t really dirty talk, baby. Way too sweet and love declaration-like for that. It wasn’t wrong, but a bit heavy for having sex.”

“I’m s-”

“Don’t apologise,” Dean cut him off gently, holding the boy in a loose embrace. “I loved hearing it and I feel just the same. No one ever gave me as much as you, Cas. We’re just a perfect fit.”

Cas nodded, opening himself in the hope that he hadn’t ruined the mood just now and sighed happily when Dean thrust into him still fully hard and perfectly huge inside him.

“I love your big cock inside me,” Cas gasped out and only realised that he had talked dirty again after the words left his mouth. “Stretching me apart, showing me who I belong to, ruining me for everyone else.”

“Does my baby have a bit of a pain kink there?” Dean asked, slowly moving, almost teasingly.

“So much,” Cas answered. “It’s perfect with the stretch being a bit too much and my hole already puckering from being so well used by you. I get so sensitive when you dump another load inside of me even when you already marked me as yours.”

Dean staggered in his rhythm and just stared down at Cas, raising his eyebrow a bit: “And who’s the little boy who couldn’t part his legs while I was just watching and not actually inside you?”

“Can’t say that I know the guy,” Cas smirked ironically. “It’s certainly not the little boy who wants you to fuck his ass hard now.”

“You want it hard?”

“Duh!” Cas replied, loving the growl that Dean let out at being sassed and took Cas’ legs up so that his lower back came off the mattress too and he rammed his cock into the now moaning boy while he held him up like a wheelbarrow.

“Fuck, I feel so exposed. It’s so fucking good, Daddy. Being entirely at your mercy, your good little sex toy. Just for you to use, Daddy.”

After that, Cas didn’t have any words in him anymore, only strangled gasps, because the position wasn’t really comfortable, but he got off so much on Dean using him like this that he came when the older man got closer and got Cas off with a couple of rough strokes.

When he was done, he helped Cas down, panting into his ear: “You ok there, baby?”

“Yes,” Cas said, the word coming out with a breathless pant, his heart still racing in his chest for a good ten minutes afterwards.

“You really don’t need to worry about being good at dirty talk or sexting. Because you’re awesome at it,” Dean praised him. “And don’t worry about me seeing you from a distance. You’re perfect whatever you do and I couldn’t find you sexier if you tried. But please don’t try,” he said as if on second thought. “Part of what makes you so wonderful is the fact that you don’t put on an act about this. You do what you feel and it’s just goddamn wonderful. Don’t ever change, Cas.”

“I won’t,” Cas said, looping Dean’s arm around himself and staring at him in wonder about what he had done that the man of his dreams actually said all that stuff to him in real life. “I need to tell you something too,” he gulped and wondered how he could say what he needed to say without sounding creepy.

“I think you’re magnificent,” he started, but something inside him loosening up because of what his mother had said to him when he had tried to get to come here at all, and that make him speak about a topic that probably wasn't really cool to talk about after just having come, but he felt the need to explain his Daddy kink to Dean. “And… You know how my father is like, right?”

“Yeah, I know Chuck and how he can be like. He’s a nice guy, but-”

“Unfit as a father?” Cas suggested because he knew Dean wouldn’t formulate it that way, but that it was what he thought.

Dean squirmed a little, moving Cas a little too because their bodies were still wreathed around each other. “I can’t talk badly about another parent, Cas. But just go on.”

Cas nodded and then said: “Well, he’s never there for me. Always off doing his own thing and never takes charge of things. And when he’s there he’s always in his study on his computer, typing something that nobody wants to read or buy. And mom ends up picking up the pieces around him. Which is why I don’t see her that much either. You could say that you’re the closest thing to a parent I have, and I mean it in a non weird way," even as he decided to tell Dean about why he needed him, he still couldn't tell him all about Chuck, somehow.

“You mean more like a rolemodel?”

“Yes,” Cas agreed quickly. “In many respects you’re what my parents aren’t, or can’t be because they don’t have the time. And you’re a friend, you always get the things that me and Lucas are doing and you can understand it and actually do kid stuff with us. And you’re very good looking and before we started doing this, I had the biggest crush ever on you. You see? You’re everything. And now you’re _my_ everything. Sorry if that’s too heavy for you again, but I wanted to let you know how I feel and why I am happy to call you Daddy when you fuck me. I felt like I should explain that that’s also not an act, but that I need this. I need to be your good boy, so that we’re levelled as much as can be. Because half of the time, I can’t believe that this is actually happening and if I have you do this, I feel like I'm giving you back something.”

“I hardly know what to say,” Dean replied once Cas finally stopped baring his heart to the older man. “Only thing I can say is that you really don’t have to apologise for the way you feel and that it’s an honour for me that you feel that way about me. But I don’t want you to have a hero complex about me or anything. I’m just a regular guy and many would judge that being with you isn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Screw them,” Cas said with force. “They don’t have a clue about us.”

“I guess they don’t,” Dean conceded. “But I ain’t exactly a rolemodel.”

“That’s not true. I wanna grow up to be the sort of man that you are. And just because you’re with me doesn’t make you a bad person or a user. It makes you someone who fights for someone who’s important to him even in an impossible situation.”

“That’s how you see me?” Dean asked, his voice raspy in a way that didn’t suggest arousal but emotional turmoil.

“That’s how you are,” Cas nodded with emphasis and held Dean’s head when he wanted to shake it in a childish but affectionate gesture. “Just accept it,” he smiled shyly and showered Dean with kisses so that he’d believe how good he really was.

“Let’s watch a movie, ok?” Dean chuckled nervously and jumped up to the TV cabinet and passionately told Cas about the plot of the DVDs that were provided by the hotel while the teenager thought that just when he thought he had come to terms with how much he loved Dean, he still added a little more to the pile.


	13. Chapter 13

While the movie was on, Castiel stayed securely tugged away within Dean’s embrace, but after the credits, Dean picked another one for them to watch and the boy started squirming about halfway through.

“What’s the matter, baby?” Dean asked, smoothing Cas’ hair from his forehead.

“Mmm, horny,” Cas purred and Dean lifted the comforter off their tangled, still naked bodies.

“That you are,” Dean stated with an appreciative nod at seeing Cas all up and proud, dripping precome. “Perfect opportunity to teach you something else.”

“What?” Cas breathed, rubbing himself on Dean and biting his lips when he felt a big, warm palm close around his cock.

“That I can be a tease too,” Dean said dangerously and Cas, who panted at the older man’s touch alone and laid down while expectantly looking up, but Dean didn’t start to jerk him, only held Cas’ cock in his hand, pulling him back up and tugging the teen away into his arms again.

“You’re not serious?” Cas groaned with a sting in his eye at not being brought off now.

“Dead serious,” Dean answered, kissing him quickly and hard just to heat the boy’s desperation and then settled again, his hand still agonising and perfect around Cas’ weeping cock. “If you behave until the movie is over, you get a treat.”

“That’s another hour!” Cas huffed and felt dangerously close to a sob now. “Don’t you want me?” he breathed into Dean’s ear, trying to get up to straddle him but Dean dug his fingers into Cas’ hips now, stilling him.

“You really ask me if I want you?” his irritation was palpable as he teasingly stroked Cas a couple of times. “I could spent my entire life inside you, or have your perfect mouth on me, have you sitting in my lap all open and gaping for the taking, but there is something else we can do. Trust me, baby. A little delayed gratification makes it just so much better.”

“I trust you,” Cas nodded through gritted teeth because Dean’s hand felt just too perfect on him, but he knew when he’d lost and it actually felt nice to have Dean take care of him like this.

“You pay attention to the movie now. If you can tell me what it’s about once it’s over, I’ll fuck you. Is that a deal?” Dean talked while his nose and breath ghosted over Cas’ neck before his lips made sucking contact with it.

Cas swallowed heavily, keening and grabbing the headboard behind him: “That’s not fair, like I can concentrate when you do that!”

“Try to, if you want sex.”

“Mean!” Cas bit out, but shifted to allow Dean more room to get at him.

The older man chuckled, carefully sucking the boy’s unblemished skin wherever he pleased and after a few minutes of this, Cas thought he was going out of his mind, heavily panting and trying desperately to go for friction on his cock, but Dean kept his hips pinned down with a hard grip.

“Sweet mother of fuck!” Cas cursed like he had never before when Dean’s teasing tongue found his nipples and lapped little, fast circles around the hardening nubs.

“You like that, baby?” Dean grinned up at him, his eyes dark and his voice raspy, taking Cas’ nipple between his teeth and teasing it even more.

“Fucking shit!” Cas shouted as an answer, grabbing the headboard in a white-knuckled hold now and presented his body for the taking.

“Are you paying attention to the movie, baby?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Cas screamed out in exasperation. “Of course I’m not!”

“That’s not what I wanted to hear,” Dean said with a frown and sat back up, his lips swollen and pink and Cas felt suddenly cold without a tender hold around his cock as Dean moved his hand away.

“How am I supposed to focus on something other than you when you’re all over me?” Cas asked, defiant and horny.

“Because I told you to,” Dean said simply.

“So I am to submit?” Cas’ anger was now completely gone and his eyes wide and open as he considered the possibility.

“Cas baby,” Dean said with a patience that was so paternal that it should feel wrong, but instead Cas just felt at home as the older man slid back on top of him and said with a deep, aroused intontation: “When we got here, you wanted me to press you down into the mattress and fuck you like an animal, spank you and press your face into the mattress. That’s textbook submissive behaviour, and you came incredibly hard because of it. I’m just taking it further, to let you know what’s also part of that role.”

“But I don’t like to follow orders, I disobey my parents constantly,” Cas said, not really understanding.

“That’s not what this is about, Cas. Who you are in the bedroom doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with how you are outside of it. You love it when I’m rough with you, don’t you? When I tell you what to do? Love following every order I give you in bed?”

“Yes,” Cas blushed fiercely. “I understand now. Can you go back to what you’re doing, please?”

“No, Cas, not now. You’ve learned enough for one day. This is about channelling both our desire,” Dean explained. “If we play games like that we don’t have to do it as often just to get by, but the orgasms are gonna be so much more intense.”

“But am I not weak if I obey you?”

“No, far from it. You’re stronger than anyone else, because you can take it and you trust me to know what you need. Do you wanna do it?”

“You’ll teach me?”

“Of course, I will. And I’ll never do something you don’t want, obviously.”

“How can you know what I want?”

“Because I know,” Dean said simply. “And you know what you want right now? You want to get on all fours and take me hard, and you want me to slap your ass a couple of times too. Because you got a taste for it and you heard me talking about it, so you want it again. You thrive on spanking,” Dean said seductively, turning Cas’ body around and draping his ass into a perfect position to fuck. “And you could come from it alone. Same as from when I suck your pretty little nipples. Your body told me that before you even knew it,” he told the teen, his big hands splayed on Cas’ ass, making him push back in search of Dean’s cock, his hands still clasping the headboard.

Dean lifted a hand off Cas’ ass and it was evident what he was gonna do, but it didn’t at all prepare Cas for the sharp pang of pain that shot through him as a palm landed on his ass, or for how loudly he moaned for more. Dean’s hand landed on the other side and Cas groaned, arching his back up, and letting his eyes fall shut.

“See baby, your body knows what it wants, and you let me see it because you trust me so much. And you know what else?” Dean asked as he replaced the plug inside Cas with his cock. “You’d look perfect tied up,” his hands locked Cas’ wrists together which had found a rigid position without even being fixed there. “You’ll love to be restrained,” Dean told him when Cas let his head fall as he took Dean’s cock deeper inside of himself.

Dean held him in place with his hand on his lower back and his other still pinning his wrists down.

“You can take your hands off, Daddy. I won’t pull away,” Cas said wriggling his wrists a little, loving to be immoblised so much that he wanted both of Dean’s hands on his body, and keep himself restrained in the mean time.

“See?” Dean said, praise for Cas knowing his own wishes in his voice as both his hands now dragged Cas’ waist towards himself. “How do you like it?” he asked, starting to rut into the teen forcefully.

“I fucking love it, Daddy,” Cas shouted, his head coming back up and forcing himself to open his eyes to look at Dean fucking him from behind. “Give it to me harder, please!”

“Anything you want, sweetheart.”

Dean picked up speed and pressed himself into Cas over and over until the boys’ legs shook and his hands were slipping, his teeth crunching from how hard he was ridden.

“I love it, I love it so much. Please, Daddy, please!” Cas groaned, not even knowing what he was really asking for but coming hard when Dean’s hand found his aching cock again and finally brought him off.

“Fuck you’re so beautiful, coming apart for me,” Dean praised him, steadying him with a hand on the small of Cas’ back as he came down from his orgasm, trembling so much that he could barely stay on his knees, but _something,_ perhaps the feeling of having to bring Dean off too, made him hold on.

“Daddy, use me, I wanna do this. Be your good boy, come inside your good boy,” he babbled, giving Dean permission to fuck him even when he was already completely done and oversensitive.

“Such a perfect little boy,” Dean praised, lifting Cas up because he felt how exhausted he was and holding his hips up to piston into him.

“Fuck, you’re like a vice, so perfect,” Dean moaned just before he finally came inside the boy.

Cas bit his lips and grinned happily when he felt Dean collapse next to him and drag him close, massaging Cas’ achingly stiff arms, kissing his palms softly that were uncomfortably numb and feeling like ants were crawling through them.

“This is what it feels like to be submissive?” Cas asked, his body humming and the closeness between Dean and him reaching before unknown heights.

“No, this is what it feels like when you love being submissive. Anyone could sub, and never love it as much as you. It’s right for you.”

“And is being my Daddy, my Dom, right for you? Do you feel the same now, as perfect and content as I do?”

“Yeah, totally. Nothing’s better than giving you what you need and letting me take care of you. Speaking off: You‘re cold, and you could use something to drink. And you‘re sore, and are half asleep,” he added as a whisper in an afterthought. “I’ll right back with you, ok honey?” he breathed into Cas’ ear.

“Yes,” Cas answered before he felt himself drift off.

 

He woke up when the bed shifted, but was too out of it to react more than by opening his mouth when Dean said so and swallowing a couple mouthfuls of juice, and afterwards he had Dean help him into a hoodie and some sweatpants.

“Sleep, my darlin’,” he heard the older man’s soft voice in his ear, feeling Dean cuddling him and then Cas fell back asleep with a little smile on his face.

 

He still felt warm and secure when he awoke the next time, but also ravenous and a bit in pain.

“Mornin’, sunshine,” he heard Dean’s voice in his ear again, and before he knew it he was smiling and turning in the older man’s embrace to snuggle close.

“You good?”

“Yes!” Cas beamed.

“You were so out of it last night,” Dean chuckled a bit. “I wanted to rub some ointment into you, but I didn’t wanna touch you when you were only half conscious. Can I treat you now?”

“Please,” Cas nodded and with a happy shiver and his cheeks still flushed from how warm he’d gotten from sleep, he felt Dean pull off the pants he had put on him last night and grab a small bottle from the nightstand before he dove under the blankets.

Cas felt his legs parted, and hissed a bit when a breath of air flew across his well used hole, but Dean kissed him down there next, soft lips on him and then a soothing tongue licking over him, darting inside just the tiniest bit to open him so he could massage him even as swollen as he was.

“Feels good?” Cas heard Dean’s voice and felt absolutely dirty to have a face between his legs, but he nodded and hummed quietly as Dean slowly rubbed a finger into him, slick with ointment, followed by a groan and Dean’s voice again: “You’re puckering inside, baby. It’s so goddamn hot,” Cas felt his thighs nibbled at, slight scratching of scruff even as Dean took longer than necessary to load his hole up with ointment. Even when he finally pulled his finger out, he circled a slick finger over it, massaging and rubbing him until Cas shook from the need to come.

“Please,” Cas pleaded and it seemed that Dean had only waited for Cas to beg before he lowered his head onto Cas’ cock, swallowing his dick down in one go and bringing him off. Cas reached down, softly touching the older man’s hollowed cheeks around himself and then fisted his hands in Dean’s hair, knowing he could do this as he guided him up and down on his length. Dean groaned in frustration and Cas knew he must have his own cock in his hand now because he recognised the older man’s tell-tale grunts, which were even more impressive when they were all around his cock.

He couldn’t take more, moaning shamelessly and coming all over Dean’s tongue, just imagining how it must look underneath the blanket. He felt his cock kissed once Dean swallowed his load and the pants tugged back up.

Dean surfaced and just like Cas had suspected, he had his cock out and it was all huge and perfect.

“I want it,” he said, his eyes glued to the thick length and before Dean had really settled down, Cas was already on him, suckling on Dean’s huge, perfect dick. Cas loved the heaviness of it in his mouth, relished the thickness which spread his mouth and just sucked it, loving just about everything right now, even more when Dean imitated him, guiding his head onto himself and carefully thrusting into his mouth.

Cas looked up and then Dean’s eyes opened in shock as Cas took him down into his throat without many problems.

“Baby, you’ve been practicising,” he moaned in approval, thrusting into Cas a few times more, before he barked: “Open,” and stroked his come out onto Cas’ tongue.

“I have,” Cas nodded as he wiped his mouth and came back up. “With a banana, and then with a cucumber.”

“Really? A cucumber? That’s a bit thick, don’t you think?”

“Same as your dick, Dean.”

“It’s not that big,” Dean’s cheeks coloured a bit, and then he stared at Cas with a stern expression. “Did you do anything else with fruits and vegetables?”

“I’ve thought about it,” Cas blushed, but then shook his head.

“Good, because that can go seriously wrong. I’ll get you a dildo.”

“Really? Will you show me how to use it too?”

“You want me to fuck you with a dildo?”

“I want you to fuck me, period. With everything and everywhere you can possibly do it.”

“I’ll be damned,” Dean chuckled and breathed evenly as Cas laid down on his chest for another couple of minutes, but eventually the hunger became too much and Dean had to get up to order breakfast.

“You don’t have to hide in the bathroom this time, you’re dressed for once,” Dean chuckled as Cas sat down. “But perhaps,” he pulled at the sheets until it wasn’t painfully obvious that it had been used to have forceful sex in for the last two nights.

 

Cas wolfed down three rolls and two portions of poached eggs before his hunger was quenched and then he went down into the car already to wait for Dean to check them out. They had decided that the concierge didn’t need to see Cas again because they’d probably notice how familiar they looked together once more after about 36 hours of uninterrupted twosome time.

When Dean finally sat behind the wheel, he said: “So, we have a couple of hours left until you gotta go home and I’ll get Lucas. What do you wanna do?”

“What _can_ we do?”

“We could watch a movie, lunch and then drive back home.”

“I don’t want to,” Cas pouted.

“Ok, we can do something else as well.”

“No, not that. Everything else, yes. But I don’t wanna go back home. Going home is an assbutt,” he huffed and stared at Dean scandalised when he started to laugh.

“Sometimes you’re so cute and you don’t even realise it,” he said, still laughing and giving Cas his hand to hold after he put the car into drive, so Cas was happy again.

They held hands for a while, only stopping when they were in the queue for a movie, but once they got into the darkened cinema, they locked hands again. After about half of the movie, Cas was bored and horny so in another minute he was actually fumbling Dean’s fly open and blowing him right then and there, the thrill and craziness of the situation making Dean come way too fast and with a fist in his mouth to not startle any of the other people in the cinema which thankfully sat far enough away from them.

He paid Cas back for it by sucking him off once they were in the car again.

“Can you behave now, or are you gonna blow me over lunch too?”

“I can’t promise anything,” Cas smirked, but in the end was very chaste in the diner they found and even took the other side of the booth, in exchange for an hour of making out in the car before he had to go home.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Cas asked with a brick in his stomach as Dean dropped him off about two streets away from home.

“Yeah, but probably only _see_ , and not _have_ , because I really need to work tomorrow evening.”

“That budget plan, right? And when’s that company dinner?”

“Friday,” Dean said, pleased that Cas remembered. “So you and Lucas have the house to yourselves.”

“What are you talking about?” Cas frowned.

“Don’t you think that I know what kids do when the grown ups are away? They invite friends over and party.”

“Only when the grown ups are gone the whole night,” Cas smiled, but when Dean only nodded seriously, he starting feeling cold. “You _are_ gonna be gone the whole night? I’m not even gonna see you?”

“Most likely not. Or around mid-morning on Saturday if you‘re still around then,” Dean waggled his eyebrows.

“I’ll be there,” Cas grinned, pressed Dean’s hand one last time and then hopped out of the car feeling happy and relaxed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cas isn't gonna be happy for much longer, there is angsting round the bend, so be prepared for a few feels.
> 
> Also I have a request to blatantly let me exploit you. There is this contest I'm participating in with my DCBB and I need loads of people to like my story over on Inkitt. It's a platform for aspiring authors who want to pave their way to being published and what better to help someone with adding a badge to their profile to have more people check out their work?
> 
> You can read the story here on the archive but please leave me heart on Inkitt should you decide to sign up for it and why should you not? You have all the greatness of novels that are not even published yet, but might be bestsellers in future by your friendly neighbourhood independent authors in one place.
> 
> [ ao3 story link](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4932643)
> 
> [Inkitt](http://www.inkitt.com/stories/30895)
> 
> Have a heart ;) 
> 
> (And I promise this isn't gonna be a regular thing, I just really wanna kick the ratty twilight fanfics in the butt who have more hearts than me.)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a darker chapter now, but bear with me. It's essential for the story to move forward.

Lucas really did want to throw a party Friday night because he was home alone. The swimming team was gonna be invited alongside their whole class and a few selected ones from the older or younger classes.

“That’s gonna be a catastrophe,” Cas told Meg a day before the big party. “They’re gonna wreck the house.”

“Don’t worry, you can help Dean fix it back up and he’ll be so grateful that he’ll throw in a little certain something just for you as well,” Meg winked at him and Cas blushed.

“I don’t think we should talk about that, at least not in school.”

“Copy that, Clarence. And by the way, we still on for phase 2?”

“Yes, absolutely,” Cas nodded and when they were in at Lucas’ house later that afternoon to help him set up everything, Meg winked at Cas again conspiratorially, and then started to talk to Lucas.

“So, um… I wanted to ask you something,” she said, hanging a paper garland over the door frame. “You know your dad, right?”

“Yeah, I’ve kinda met the guy before,” Lucas said, busy stacking plastic cups onto a table and still not really in a friendly mood concerning her person and friendship status.

“Yeah, so… If I laid some moves on him, would you be ok with that?”

“What?” Lucas asked offhandedly as if he hadn’t understood Meg or didn't care about what she implied.

“I mean he’s a real looker, and he’s been single for so long. Perhaps you should have him hook up with someone, and since he’s also very dreamy, I’d bravely volunteer for the task,” she grinned and came down from the step ladder.

“Neh, I wouldn’t bother,” Lucas said, disinterested. “Dad wouldn’t go for you. If anyone, he’d go for Cas,” he shrugged and Cas’ heart immediately galloped even faster than before even though he turned his back, sorting through a stack of CDs and pretended not to prick his ears about Meg’s and Lucas’ conversation. “He likes Cas,” the shrug was obvious in Lucas’ voice and the one he talked about by now really wondered if it was because Meg was the one to talk to Lucas about this, or if he really didn't care about relationship stuff at all. “And sometimes I get the feeling that Dad’s actually a little bit gay, y’know?”

Now Cas was confused. Lucas knew this little secret about his dad, so it wasn't as if he didn't notice these things, he just seemed absolutely not interested in the whole topic.

“Really? Tell me more!” Meg demanded now, apparently very interested in gossiping about grown ups.

“Yeah, after mom, he’s not done much in terms of dating,” Lucas seemed a little down while he said that and then went on. “And he’s flirting with anyone, doesn’t matter which gender.”

“And that’s why you think he swings both ways?”

“I just kinda know?” Lucas suggested haltingly. “Same as I knew about Cas only going for dudes without him even having to tell me. But as I say,” Lucas went on, getting soft drinks out of the fridge now and Cas coming up to help him. “You really don’t have a shot with dad, Meg. He’s actually out on a date tonight.”

“What?” Cas asked sharply, his guise of not listening out the window in a second and a completely full bottle of lemonade landing right on his foot, breaking and shattering glass everywhere.

“Shit, Cas!” Meg screamed and came over while Cas still focused on Lucas.

“Didn’t he say he was working tonight?” Cas didn't mind the lemonade splashing everywhere and was entirely focused on his friend now.

“Yeah, he is. But he and his colleague are going out afterwards. Lisa something, I think you met her? Her son Ben is a couple ‘a years younger than I am," Lucas seemed a little absentminded as he went on: "I’d like a little brother.”

“Nevermind that,” Meg hissed at Lucas. “Cas, we gotta get you to a hospital.”

“What? Why?” Cas asked, feeling his cheeks going cold and not doubting that he was pale, but that didn’t warrant a hospital, unless they had learned how to cure a heart that was shattering into a million pieces this very moment.

“Look down,” Meg answered, her hands on both of Cas’ shoulders now and when Cas looked at his foot, he knew what was the matter. There was a giant glass shard stuck in it, and actually a small puddle of blood on the floor already.

“Ouch,” Cas bit out, now that he saw his injury, he finally felt the pain.

“Right,” Meg took action. “Clarence, sit down, lay your foot up so that the blood flows away from it and you don’t lose more and Lucas, call an ambulance and Cas’ parents,” she darted off to the medicine cabinet and came back with gauze which she carefully put around Cas’ wound.

“Good luck reaching them,” Cas panted at Lucas, the injury now stinging and while he moved, he could actually see blood coming out of his foot in little waves, until he sat down and put it up just like Meg told him, above the level on his heart.

“Get that out of me, it hurts!” he told her but she shook her head.

“I don’t know what I’m doing and if it’s edged in there, I could cut open more and it seems like it’s actually damning it all up, also the gauze stops the bleeding. May need another layer soon. Just stay still.”

“But it hurts,” Cas groaned again, his eyes welling up and he pressed a shaking fist to his mouth.

“It’s ok, we’ll get help,” Meg soothed him.

“Ambulance on it’s way,” Lucas shouted from the hall, probably trying Cas’ parents next.

“Great, so we just gotta keep you alive until they get here,” Meg jested and clapped Cas’ shoulder, who caught her hand, insistently looking up.

“He wouldn’t do that to me, would he?”

“I don’t know,” Meg answered, knowing exactly what was on his mind. “I didn’t think he would, but you’re not doing us any good if you get more upset now and actually pass out. You’ve already done enough to yourself. Just chillex, bro.”

“Right,” Cas quipped with a bitter feeling seeping through him and his foot hurting, but not as much as the iron band that seemed to be around his chest and made it hard to breathe.

 

While the doctor looked at Cas and told him they’d need to take him in and have him get stitches, Cas stayed quiet, only nodded when his approval was needed, or his insurance asked for, which he always carried around with himself anyway because in case of an emergency his parents would most likely not be there in time anyway. When he needed someone, no one was ever there. He thought about Dean whom he had wished to be there for him before, but it seemed that that had been a pipe dream as well.

He still thought about this when the shard was pulled from his foot, and the sharp tug actually was better than what his thoughts did to him. Cas felt as if he was burning inside, and it wasn’t the slow, quiet burn of satisfaction, or the sharp, hungry burn of being horny. This burn was deep and made him feel more and more hollow as if it ate it’s way through his insides until there was nothing left.

“So, Mr. Novak,” the Doctor who stitched him up now told him. “It’s not too bad, but you shouldn’t do any sports for at least a week, and not put pressure on the sutures until you’re starting to heal. I’d say you should put your foot up for a few days.”

“Thanks. Can I wait for my parents to come get me or do I have to leave the hospital now?”

“There is someone here to bring you home. Your friend Lucas said his father will take you all home.”

“Can’t I wait here until my parents can get me?” Cas asked petulantly, for once not glad to know that Dean was close and had actually abandoned whatever his plans for the evening had been.

“Sure, but you’d have to wait in the hall because I have other patients and it would be easier to let them take you home, right?”

“Right,” Cas said bitterly and thanked the Doctor again, before he limped out of the examination room, greeted by Meg’s, Lucas’ and finally Dean’s worried faces.

Cas grinned at Lucas and Meg, but did not meet Dean’s gaze, not even when he came close and started to talk.

“Thank God you’re alright,” he said and wanted to pull Cas into a hug, but he wriggled out of his hold before Dean had half closed his arms around him and limped off down the hall, Meg catching up to him and holding him on the side of his injury so he could hop along braced on her.

Cas let Meg help him into the car, and then looked out of the window, knowing that Dean stared at him in the rear view mirror as he drove them over to Cas’ side of town but he didn’t speak again until they were there, Meg getting out first and helping Cas again.

But apparently Dean was in a mood now because he came over and without heeding Cas' protests, he picked him up in a bridal carry, telling Meg to find his keys.

“Put me the fuck down!” Cas shouted but Dean didn’t let go, not even when Cas started drumming his fists on him everywhere he could reach. “I do not need your fucking help!”

“Couch,” Dean seemed to decide to himself quietly without paying attention to Cas hitting him because there actually wasn't that much force behind his punches, and then Cas felt himself be put down, his arms crossing immediately and he turned his head away distinctly when Dean sat down on the edge of the couch and stroked Cas‘ hair off his forehead.

“So, it looks like you’re all set. Text me when you go to bed, ok?” Meg said and then caught Lucas’ gaze. “Walk me home?”

“What, you hurt your foot too?”

“No, dumbass. It’s dark, I won‘t go alone, and Cas needs rest. Your dad can get you from my house. What are you waiting for? Move your butt!” she commanded Lucas and followed him out of the room with a death glare in Dean‘s direction.

“Woah, that was scary,” Dean chuckled to himself, shifting on the couch now, and softly stroking Cas’ skin just underneath the hem of his t shirt.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Cas’ rage flared up and he swatted Dean’s hand off like a bothersome fly.

“What’s gotten into you, baby?”

“Don’t _call_ me _that_!” Cas barked and actually kicked Dean unexpectedly so he landed hard on his ass as he fell off the couch.

Cas got up and limped away before Dean could get over his confusion, but he followed him, and through not being hurt, he didn’t long to catch up.

“Stop right there,” he said, his arms around Cas now, hugging him tight despite Cas’ still crossed arms and the fact that he still stared past him. “I don’t know why you’re pissed, but at least let me make you something to eat or something. Let me take care of you.”

“I don’t need you to take care of me. Fuck it, I don’t _want_ you here at all.”

Dean let go, and Cas was felt triumphant when he finally met Dean’s gaze and he actually looked hurt by his words.

He limped away, Dean just standing there and watching as Cas was closing and bolting his bedroom door behind himself and leaned heavily against it once he was inside.

Just one minute later, he heard someone knock and Dean’s voice, strangely hoarse was saying: “Cas, babe. Let me in. Let’s talk about this.”

“About what do you wanna talk? About how you fucked a slut tonight? About how you fucked a fucking _woman_ tonight? Well, I don’t want to _talk_ about that!” Cas screams were so loud that he thought his voice would break. “Just get the fuck out of my house!”

“Please, Cas. Let me explain. I know you’re upset, but let me explain. Do you have time tomorrow so we can meet when you‘re calmer?”

“I don’t wanna talk to you! I don’t even wanna see you again. Just. Fuck. _Off_!” Cas screamed at the door, letting his palms fall onto the wood hard as if that would make Dean go away faster.

After that, he limped over to his bed, and breathed out loud once he heard the front door fall shut. Then he got up again to unlock his door because at least his mother would wanna come in as soon as she got home and talk to him about what happened, even though nothing would ever be able to make it all better. Cas curled up on his side, his foot burning and itching and all he wanted was to go to sleep and not wake up anymore, or if he did wake up, he wanted to have turned into a robot without feelings overnight.

 

“Castiel, honey. You should get up and at least eat something,” Naomi said, sitting at Cas’ bed three days later, during which he had only gotten up to go to the toilet and back, sometimes accepting a few bites of food from what his mother brought him, but the rest of the time, he stared at the ceiling until his eyes stung and he started to cry.

The first night after the accident, he had unpacked his schoolbag, finding his scissors and had scraped markings into the gift from Dean. After a few minutes, the plug was unrecognisable and Cas started to stab it with the scissors until it was porous enough to rip it in half. He had stuffed it deep into the trash and then he had to lie back down because he felt lightheaded and there was blood seeping through his bandage.

There was nothing that Cas thought about that could make it any better. He didn’t wanna see Dean ever again, and he couldn’t bear the thought of him with someone else either. When it got quiet as soon as his parents were gone in the morning, his mom coming in to say she'd only managed to skip one shift today, but would be back to make lunch, he lay there paralysed and imagining Dean in all kinds of scenarios with a faceless woman.

Then he sighed deeply and turned around, but within 5 minutes the horror was back before his eyes and he rubbed them, burning and hurting him.

He turned to his mother again now, his eyes red-rimmed from days of crying and not sleeping very well and whispered to her: “I’m tired. I’ll come down to dinner though, ok?”

Naomi seemed relieved and smoothed over Cas’ blanket a couple of times, not knowing what to do with her upset child.

 

When it got dark and he could smell roasted chicken odour seeping in from the kitchen, he really did get up for dinner because it wasn't often that his mother cooked meat for them since she was a vegetarian, and he only got up as a token of appreciation that his mom had done this and had switched almost all of her shifts to be there for him as much as she could.

Cas knew how much this cost her, it was a lot of working hours she was missing and no overtime payment coming in either. He sighed when he saw how happy she was to have him back on his feet and he grudgingly told her that he’d go back to school the next morning, so she would stop worrying. Chuck only grunted and gave him a fleeting smile when he told them he'd go back, as ever not able to handle the situation and actually looking pretty sweaty and shaken himself.

 

The next day was dreary, because by now fall was showing it's ugliest coldest sides and the first traces of winter were palpable in the air.

He was greeted by Meg and Lucas and some others too as they walked in and shook the rain out of their hair and the cold out of their bones. Seemingly no one was upset about Cas’ little accident ruining their party plans. It was because of him and his accident after all that Dean had come back unexpectedly and that had pretty much killed the party before it even started.

Lucas told him that a few people had shown up even after his message on the facebook event page that it had to be cancelled, but had slunk off when Dean opened the door. It seemed like Lucas’ father had been shouting at people ringing the doorbell after the first couple of guests and had been in a sour mood the entire weekend, which made Cas a little gleeful, before he reminded himself that he didn't care about that.

“You coming to mine after?” Lucas asked, but Cas shook his head.

“I can’t come to swimming practice and I need to rest.”

“You can rest on my couch, dude,” Lucas clapped his shoulder. “I’m sorta lonely without you around the place and dad asked about why you weren’t there yesterday.”

“Sorry, I’m gonna go home after the last period and go back to bed. I’m really tired.”

“You look it too,” Meg said, sympathetic and when Lucas was busy choosing his books for the new period, she whispered: “Did he call you?”

“I don’t know, turned my phone off.”

“I think you should talk to him though. I bet he’s left you messages.”

“I don’t want to,” Cas snapped at her and she raised her hands in a non-confrontational manner to calm him.

“Sorry, dude. Just trying to help.”

“I know,” Cas sighed and was angry with himself now for letting his anger out on her. “I’m just not feeling good, y’know?”

“I get it,” Meg smiled and didn’t bring the topic up for the rest of the day.

 

After his last period, Cas walked out of the school, and it was so early that he came out with all the people that didn’t have an afternoon activity, filing by him and stopping to talk for a couple of minutes. Cas was almost happy while he chatted with his class mates, just to make his stomach drop even more just as he came out the front entrance of the school.

Dean was leaning against his car and he was obviously waiting for someone. It couldn’t be Lucas, because he wouldn’t be out for another two hours, and from the way Dean tentatively smiled at Cas, he knew his time was up and the avoiding wouldn’t work anymore.

“Hey, Cas. Your parents told me to bring you home since it’s my day off. Why don’t you hop in?” Dean said loudly, even as Cas turned back to his friends, pretending not to have seen him and despite everything, his heart raced in his chest.

“I can walk though,” he said, unwilling to talk to Dean, but it would weird if he didn't answer him. “And I’m kinda talking to people right now.”

“Be nice, Cas. It’s very good of Mr. Winchester to offer to drive you,” Emily from his advanced biology class said, throwing Dean an adoring smile even as a hand came to rest on Cas’ shoulder and he was led off to the car.

“Em seemed to like you, maybe you can fuck _her_ now,” Cas fumed as he sat down in the passenger seat and Dean frowned at him, not replying and just driving Cas towards home.

“Did you get my messages? I left you about a thousand,” he said when they were getting close.

“Neh,” Cas said as dismissive as he could, and actually wanted to hit Dean again as he lifted him up into his arms, carrying him in just like Friday night once he turned the engine off.

“Well then you don’t know that I didn’t go on a _date_ ,” Dean seemed furious now, Cas’ behaviour obviously pissing him off as he held him tightly and unbolted the door, still holding him up and Cas clinging to him, fuming about the indignity of the situation. “What the _hell_ did Lucas tell you? That I was screwing my presentation partner? I had to fucking _work_ , Cas! On a Friday night I’d much rather spend with _you_!”

“But Lucas said you and Lisa were going on a date, and that’s why you would be gone the entire night!” Cas’ arms crossed again, his lip worried between his teeth, and finally meeting Dean's eye only to stare daggers at him.

“I planned on pulling an all-nighter because that thing had to be finished by Monday. Turns out I had plenty of time to do that, when I wasn‘t busy calling _you_ ,” Dean dumped Cas on his own bed at the last word, not very gentle even as relief, followed by something brick-shaped and painful seemed to hit Cas in the stomach.

“So you _didn’t_?” he asked, sitting up and staring at Dean, his eyes stinging again and tears just about to spill.

“Course not. She's after me like crazy, always has been, but I never wanted her. And I would _never_ do that to you,” Dean said gruffly, and Cas now really started crying. He turned away from the older man, so that he wouldn’t see it, but he just had to notice how Cas’ back was heaving as he quietly sobbed on.

“Silly Cas,” Dean whispered, softly stroking the teen’s back and climbing onto the bed now, spooning up behind him. “Getting so upset over nothing. You really hurt me too, y’know? But I’m guessing what you felt like wasn’t no cherry eatin’ either,” he drawled slightly, and placed his hand steady and warm on Cas' shoulder, stroking over his shirt and pressing small kisses to it from time to time while Cas still cried next to him.

“I’m sorry,” Cas sobbed dry now, whipping around and ripping Dean into an embrace. “I’m so sorry I hit you, and I cursed at you. You hate me now, do you?”

“Fuck no, Cas. I was and am a bit confused and hurt, and frankly terrified when Lucas told me what he said to you and when you said you didn't wanted to see me anymore without letting me explain first. Y’know, I really think we ought to tell him, so this doesn’t happen again.”

“Tell him what?”

“That I love you, and that you‘re the one I wanna be with.”

Dean groaned when Cas started crying louder, and only pulled him closer, holding on and Cas actually let out a chuckle when he heard Dean say: "Frickin' velvety smooth, Winchester. Upset him even more, will ya?" he held Cas until he settled and Dean wiped tears off his face once there was nothing but heaved breaths coming from the boy. "You ok again?"

"Mostly," Cas said hoarsely. "Although I feel like a cry baby for losing it around you like that."

"Don't," Dean shook his head. "Let me see all of you and don't you just clam up again before you talk to _me_ about things, a'right?"

"Ok," Cas rasped and clung to Dean's soaked shirt, scenting him until he was completely calm.

"So, you're really good again?" Dean asked, and slightly shook Cas when he didn't get an answer right away. "Tell me what you wanna do, Cas."

Cas thought a while, even though he felt Dean growing impatient and actually slightly shaky next to him when he took his time to answer.

"You took my virginity," he started.

"Yes?" Dean asked, balling his fists in Cas' shirt, not knowing what he was getting at.

"But you haven't taken my bed's virginity, yet," Cas pondered.

"I don't wanna fuck your bed," Dean said completely confused.

"No, I mean, there is an infuriatingly low level of sex in the life of this bed," Cas clarified and pulled at Dean unexpectedly so the older man found himself on top of the teen after a few seconds. "I mean, I jerked off in it a couple of times, but there never were two people in it that could actually fuck in it."

"Cas," Dean moaned loudly, feeling lanky fingers prod at his middle and fumbling around with his belt. "What about your parents?"

"Won't be home for hours," Cas panted, ripping and pulling at Dean's clothes so that he came closer and he could whisper into his ear. "Don't tell me you haven't fantasised about this."

"I have," Dean conceded, his hands trying to stop Cas fumbling his trousers open and catching the teen's gaze again. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I will be once you're inside me and tell me I'm still your good boy. Please, Dean. I _need_ this now."


	15. Chapter 15

“Dean,” Cas groaned as he finally got Dean’s pants open and eagerly fumbled around with his own jeans too, while Dean only watched him with a hungry expression.

“What, you’re not gonna take them off?” Dean grinned, softly cupping Cas’ ass as the teen raised his legs with the pants still halfway up his thighs and then he surprised both of them by hooking his arms around his legs, staring up at Dean from between the gap between his legs and panted because he was so coiled up: “Like this. Please, Dean.”

“Fuck me,” Dean deadpanned tonelessly, but even as Cas wanted to say: No fuck me, Dean already lowered his head into Cas’ crack, looking at his asshole, breathing on it softly and then licked a stripe up it which made Cas moan from happiness.

Dean grabbed the back of Cas’ thighs to steady him like this, licking into him with sharp tugs and his eyes closed as his head moved up and down. He wriggled his head deep into Cas’ ass and the boy screamed overjoyed: “Eat my fucking ass, Daddy. Fuck it’s so good,” and kept on moaning, playing with his cock while Dean spit into his hole to add fingers, and actually softly gnawing at Cas’ pucker now which made him go out of his mind with lust. 

Cas thumped over the slit of his cock, pumping it, and even though he was hard, he needed a while to get over a little something that felt like a barricade in his mind. He was horny, he loved Dean’s tongue inside him and under normal circumstances he’d have come already. Through the upset he had caused himself the last days though, he was happily buzzing in the center of Dean’s attention without feeling the pre-orgasm haze yet. But he wanted to change that as soon as he could and therefore focused on his nightstand for a bit, his hand reaching out to fumble in the drawer, but losing track a couple of times when another perfect lick or a rub over his prostate made him forget what he searched for.

After a panting minute, he produced what he had searched for and pressed it into Dean’s hand who came up for air with an amused frown.

“Lotion?”

“Shut up,” Cas blushed, “it’ the only thing I have here.”

“Hey at least it’s all organic," Dean read the label of Naomi's sorely missed cream. "And your ass pussy won’t get wrinkles when I apply it.”

“Shut up,” Cas said again, blushing again even as Dean massaged the lotion into him and onto himself. “Ass pussy,” he tried the unfamiliar words, feeling strange but also very good on his tongue as Dean still teased him a little, the lotion almost as good as lube and he was fingered deep even though he was all ready and open already.

“Fuck, why do I like that so much?” Cas asked but Dean only shook his head silently until Cas asked: “What?”

“You said shut up, right?” Dean grinned, pumping two fingers into him as deep as he could. “So I can’t tell you how good your pussy looks working my fingers down here.”

“Fuck,” Cas moaned and had to starve off his finally building orgasm now. “Why is this so scorching hot?”

“Cause that’s what pussy bois love,” Dean whispered, bottoming out inside Cas in an unexpected, fluid thrust. “Because you’re meant for taking my cock, that’s why. That’s what that sweet ass is for, wouldn’t you say, baby?”

“Fuck yeah, Daddy,” Cas screamed out, Dean feeling even better inside him than ever before and the feeling of being completely at the older man’s mercy as he started to pound into him made him let go of all his worries until he forgot how bad he had felt before this. The memories of the last few days were washed away as Dean rode on and Cas spurred him on with winded gasps: “Harder, oh please, harder. Use my pussy.”

“Good boy, such a good baby slut just for me. And my cock is just for you too, baby. You know that, right?” Dean thrusted hard, and edged, while Cas nodded as best as he could with his legs still all up in the air and the pounding he received driving him higher and higher.

“Only you, Daddy. And you’re only for me too. I know that now. Fucking breed my hole, Daddy. My pussy, fuck my pussy,” Cas felt the orgasm coming without really jerking himself, only when it started to build did he fuck it out of himself with his fist.

“Yeah,” Dean smiled triumphantly, screwing his eyes shut and coming too, his face carefree and blissed out as he shot inside Cas, thrusting a bit into the puckering heat surrounding him even as he started to soften but at last finally pulled out. He knelt on Cas’ bed afterwards, helping the boy untangle himself and then they both sat across from each other and grinned in a way that both of them admitted was nothing but dopey.

“You’re leaking out of me,” Cas told Dean and stuck two fingers into his ass before he showed them to Dean with absolute pride glowing on his face. “I’d lick it up and get us both hard again, but that lotion is fucking bitter.”

Dean chuckled lowly, his mouth twitching and when Cas joined in, they were roaring of laughter very soon, tumbling around the mattress and laughed even more when their trousers got stuck together.

Cas came to rest underneath Dean, still laughing and only noticing after a while that Dean had stopped and just looked down at him.

“Hey you,” Dean smiled fondly, his palm cupping the side of Cas’ face and his gaze longing for a closeness that wasn’t just sex.

Cas nuzzled against Dean’s hand, bringing his own hand up and holding on, even as he tentatively licked over the ball of Dean’s thumb. He dragged Dean down further, searching for the older man’s mouth and once their lips met, realising that they hadn’t done that earlier and it had been worth every second of the wait.

By Dean’s passionate reaction, he wasn’t the only one noticing this now because Dean moaned and forcefully stuck his tongue into Cas’ mouth as if he wanted to make up for the time they hadn’t done this. Cas loved how Dean fucked his mouth just like he had done with his ass before, loving the domineering muscle inside his mouth and tilting his head up to allow Dean perfect access.

 

They made out for what felt like hours, until Dean reached down between their bodies and jerked them both off once more.

After that, they cleaned up most of the mess and Cas sat down to do his homework on Dean’s lap but constantly interrupted himself with questions he still needed to ask him.

“Did you really have the day off today? And did you really talk to my parents?”

“No, I didn’t talk to them,” Dean scratched his head a little guilty. “But I did take the day off specially to talk to you.”

Cas nodded and worked on, but 5 minutes later, he had another question to ask.

“You said you loved me?”

“Yeah, I did,” Dean answered, his large hands playing over Cas’ stomach. “Like the kinda love that makes me want to wake up next to you every day and live with you for good.”

“I uh…,” Cas wriggled a bit, at the intensity of what he’d just heard.

“It’s ok, baby,” Dean said. “I know that’s all so new for you, but you’re in love with me, you said it,” Cas nodded vigorously at that. “And that’s totally ok, it’s a big thing to learn about yourself. You’re still so young and it’s all fun and butterflies for you.”

“When does that come up, you know, the wanting to sit on a front porch and be lazy together?”

“You’ll know it when you’re ready. And then you’ll just say it.”

“And you’ll stick around even if it take me ages to grow up?”

“That’s what love is about, Cas. We’re making this work, but you gotta be honest with me even if it’s hard to talk and you’d rather not.”

“Ok,” Cas conceded and went back to his homework.

Once he was finished, he turned around and straddled Dean, posing another question with just one word: “Pussy?”

“Yeah, that. I always forget that you’re a newbie to this kinda thing. You like it,” Cas nodded again. “It’s not about female anatomy if that’s what you were thinking but it’s nicer to call it that than always go for ‘hole‘, y’know. And a pussy is for breeding. You love breeding talk too, don’t you?”

“Oh yes,” Cas grinned.

“Maybe I should give you a little homework too. Look up everything about this kink of ours online and I’ll answer all the questions you might still have about it.”

“About BDSM too?”

“Yes, that as well. And tonight when you’ve had time to look the first things up, we’ll talk or write and you’ll tell you how to fuck yourself with your plug… What’s going on, why’re ya blushing?”

“I uh… don’t have it anymore. I kinda wrecked it when I thought… uhm,” Cas stuttered, regretting ripping his wonderful present apart in a fit of rage.

“Oh…,” Dean was really quiet now and Cas snuggled close, rubbing his head on Dean’s chest to make up for his stupidity. “I’ll get you a new one. And that dildo we were talking about.”

“Thank you and… I’m sorry.”

“ ’s a’right,” Dean mumbled, his cheek resting on top of Cas’ head.

“And one last thing,” Cas said, to try and distract both of them. “Were you serious about wanting to tell Lucas?”

“Yes, I was. Unless you plan on abandoning me soon. I don‘t wanna go through all the motions if you‘re not into this as I am.” 

“Why are you saying that?” Cas whispered tonelessly, sitting up and facing Dean with dread in his eyes.

“I gotta know you’re committed to me. Open end or no end at all to our relationship and not bailing on me when the going gets though again. I can’t do that to Lucas. We’re gonna dump a huge secret on him and he’s gonna need time to come to terms with this. I don’t wanna let him go through this if this isn’t permanent.”

“It is,” Cas assured him, very secure in the knowledge that he would never want anyone else and that no one could ever give him all that Dean gave him. “Trust me, the only thing that could break us up is if one of us were to die,” he chuckled lightly but when he saw sudden sharp hurt on Dean’s face, he remembered.

“Shit, sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, I didn’t think.”

“It’s ok,” Dean calmed Cas, his expression still hurt and looking as if he was far, far away right now. 

Something like jealousy seared through Cas hot and burning, mixed with a great sadness at seeing Dean think about Lucas’ dead mother.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Cas asked and felt very grown up, even though he knew he couldn’t handle Dean talking about his previous relationship just yet and he was actually relieved when Dean shook his head.

“Later,” he said hoarsely, giving Cas a quick kiss that seemed like the closing of a deal.

“I am really very much in love with you,” Cas breathed at Dean even as he got up and they slowly moved towards the front door because the time was near when Dean would usually come home, and doubtlessly Lucas was waiting for him with a grumbling stomach.

“And I love you very much, kiddo,” Dean replied and gave Cas one last searing kiss before he got out of the door and raised his hand once he was behind the wheel and then drove off towards his own home.

Cas smiled happily as he checked the time for how long he’d have time to start the research Dean had given him as homework before the promised good night call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun kind of research, am I right? ;) And one I've done to an abundance myself, not only online but in various leather clubs and the Daddy Dom scene especially. And since many of you probably aren't as familiar with this, here a short definition of 'pussy boi' from urban dictionary: Homosexual who likes to be extremely submissive during sex. He enjoys being used by his sexual partner and often refers to his ass hole as a cunt or pussy.  
> Because I know that some might think of this as a personal squick of theirs, but I assure you it's widely used within the community and part of the m.o. of a submissive baby boy.


	16. Chapter 16

Within half an hour of his research, Cas found himself blushing all over because he recognised himself so much in the descriptions, but took up his phone and dialled Dean immediately when he struck a passage that made him flinch.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Dean answered immediately.

“I’ve been reading something that says it’s a sign that something’s wrong with me, you know mentally, that I secretly wish to see my father in a man I choose to be with.”

“That’s bullcrap, Cas. I’m nothing like your father. The only thing that might have an influence on you is that you want a positive authoritative figure in your life, but that doesn’t mean you have a condition or anything. You would have one if you think differently about me while we’re doing it, like we‘re actually related or something,” Dean hinted and Cas immediately shook himself.

“Urgh, no.”

He heard Dean chuckle in his ear: “Then it’s all good. It’s just a title you give me, Cas. More intimate than ‘master’ or ‘sir‘. The role of obedience is not as important as the aspect that we really care for each other.”

“I like the sound of that,” Cas nodded, reading on. “What’s consensual non-consent?”

“Also called rape play. Totally rough and pretending to be taken against your will.”

“Eh, I don’t think I like that.”

“Me neither,” Dean agreed.

“But it says if you don’t really want it, it’s going into that direction. When I first came at you, did you want me or did you only give in although you’d much rather not?”

“What? I don’t think I got what you were saying, Cas. You asked me if I wanted you when you took your trunks off in front of me? Course I did,” Dean said and Cas‘ heart jumped happily. “It was just convincing me to jump that took a while. As you said back then, I was jerking off to you just a few days before that. And that wasn’t the first time either.”

“You actually jerked off with me on your mind?” Cas said in awe. “How long?”

“Not that long actually, I’m not a pedophile, y’know, I don‘t know when that attraction started, probably a few months or so? By the way, what do you wanna do for your birthday?” Dean changed the topic abruptly.

Cas needed a while to think about Dean meant, but then he knew what he was on about. He’d be 16 in two weeks and he hadn’t even thought about it because of the turn his life had taken after Dean had been in it in a more prominent role.

“I have no idea. Do you think I should throw a party? I don’t have a really good track record with those. Maybe a private party just for you and me?” he suggested.

“Sounds good,” Dean smiled and Cas knew this without even seeing him because he could hear it in his voice. “The weekend after?”

“Should work,” Cas looked it up. “The next tournament is only in a month, I think I can get out then. And maybe a few friends on the day,” he thought out loud. “Not a huge thing, maybe just Lucas and Meg. Would it be too much if you’d come too?”

“I don’t think so, unless your parents are gonna be there. Then we’d really have to be on our guard. Because I may be able to tell Lucas, but we can not tell your parents under any circumstances.”

“I know,” Cas nodded.

But instead of thinking about how it would be to sneak around for two entire years after this, Cas typed a few words into his search bar after saying goodbye to Dean, and researched ways to possibly end this ordeal for both of them prematurely.

 

“Emancipation?” Meg whispered after Cas had pulled her into the changing rooms after everyone had gone and told her about what he had found out last night. “How will you do that? You’d need a job, your own apartment and stuff. And if either your parents or the state finds out you wanna do this because of Dean, you‘re both screwed.”

“It’s just an option,” Cas said. “I’d have to keep things with Dean really low-key ‘til it’s all through. I bet Dad would agree to it in a second since I would ask them to back my petition anyway, mom would maybe need more convincing because she feels guilty about leaving me on my own so much, I think she‘d cling a bit more. But I can take care of myself, I just gotta find a job and perhaps an apartment.”

“And how will you do that? You got school, competitions, friends, Dean?” she pulled her joker card at the last possible time. “You’re gonna be really busy if you wanna do that.”

“Yeah, but I’d only have to do that until I get that slip of paper. After that I could move in with Dean and Lucas. I don’t doubt that I’d have a rough time, but I could make it work and when I come out of it, there is nothing that anyone can say about me and Dean.”

“There is another possibility,” Meg said contemplatively. “You could wait for let’s say another year, and then tell your parents to give you permission so you could get married.”

“But then I’d have to tell them how long it’s really been going on and they’d probably report Dean for it. I can’t risk that. Besides, I‘d like to be my own boss for a while. I have a lot to learn until I can keep up with Dean, I know that now, and this could be good for me.”

“I suppose, but he’d love to take care of you, maybe you should just let him.”

“It would be practical,” Cas agreed, shuffling his feet awkwardly. “But we haven’t even talked about something like that. He just asked me if I’m into this for the long haul so we’re gonna tell Lucas soon.”

“That’s gonna be a huge weight off your backs,” Meg smiled and looked at Cas as if she could see right through him. “Marriage is not what you want right now though. You want it to be motivated by different reasons than to legitimise you and him.”

“If you will,” Cas squirmed at being found out.

“You romantic bastard,” Meg snickered.

“Yeah, guilty,” Cas rolled his eyes and then told Meg the mostly PG version of his online research, admitting something he hadn’t even told Dean last night.

“And there was this thing about being romantic and loving frills and pretty things... Meg what if Dean thinks I’m gross if I wear panties around him?”

“Ugh, I don’t know what to say. Is that something you want?”

“I don’t know, I might. I never put on woman’s things, but I wanna try it. I’m _dying_ to try it in fact.”

“You need to talk to him about that.”

“I just wanted to know what you thought too. Do you think he’ll be cool with that?”

“I think he’ll pee his pants with happiness,” Meg laughed. “But uh, Cas? What happened that you’re all lovey dovey again?”

“Oh that,” Cas snickered, by now finding the whole misunderstanding very funny. “It wasn’t what it looked like. Lucas got his wires crossed. Dean had to work and wasn’t on a date with that whore.”

Meg flinched at Cas' words. “Isn’t that a bit mean?”

“Yeah, well. She’s after my man, so she’s shit.”

“Hey, maybe you should get to know her before you vote for capital punishment. And anyway, can you really blame her for falling for Dean? The man is gorgeous and you know it. Perhaps you ought to cut people some slack,” she finished, and it was obvious to both of them that not a faceless 30-something business woman was meant now, but a just 16 year-old girl who got hurt by her two best friends stopping to talk to her once he fell unhappily in love and would have needed them the most.

“Yeah, that is also something I have to work on. I found out that it doesn’t help to not talk about things and I’m really sorry that I wasn't there for you.”

“It’s ok,” Meg sighed. “As long as you know better now.”

“I do. Can I ask you something else? You know the way you kept your wits after my accident, and how you handle this entire thing. Why are you so wise already?”

“I was premature, Cas,” Meg set out to explain. “You didn’t realise it at the time, but the stuff that’s happening to you now? I’ve been dealing with this shit since I was 9 years old. Had my first kiss then too.”

“Really? I never knew.”

“That’s because I told no one, stupid. He was 16.”

“Then he took advantage of you,” Cas categorised.

“No he didn’t. My mom was with someone at the time and we were visiting his sister. Told us kids to go some place, so we ended up in his room upstairs, listening to music and I jumped him. Kissed him and shit, pressing him onto his bed. I was all ready to be a big girl and I knew exactly what I was doing.”

“So what happened?”

“Nothing obviously. His mother called us just when I climbed onto him and the moment was completely ruined. Afterwards I hit the brakes hard, not doing anything of the kind until last term. Turns out I moved so far on dry land that by the time I got back into the pool, it was too shallow for me.”

“Did you just bring a swimming metaphor?”

“I think I did,” Meg grinned and flicked an imaginative fly off her shoulder.

“Thank you,” Cas said, suddenly overwhelmed with how much Meg’s friendship and support meant to him.

“Ain’t nothing to it, Clarence. Just be good and stay happy, that’s all I want.”

 

After swimming practice, Cas got a call from his mother, saying that she had picked up another shift to make up for the missed ones and it would be a while for her to get back. She said he should ask if he could stay with his friend tonight, and Cas tried to sound cool and disinterested when he answered that that was alright, and he’d ask if he could stay, all the while dancing with happiness on the inside for the chance to spend a whole night with Dean.

By the time he and Lucas came home, the man in question was already there, grinning wide about Cas being here once more, and after nodding to Cas’ request to sleep over, excusing himself to let the kids do their homework.

Cas worked through his in what seemed like seconds and then said to Lucas, who was always a little slower, that he’d go down to the pool now.

“Yeah, got it,” Lucas grit his teeth about not being able to solve his math problem.

Cas didn’t go down to the pool immediately, searching for Dean all over before he came down, finally seeing him there, just getting out from his own work out.

“Hey,” Dean greeted him immediately, drying himself off and frowning slightly. “I’m glad that you’re here. I was thinking of telling Lucas tonight, because you’re staying over, so that you’re here if he’s got any more questions or so.”

“Sounds good,” Cas nodded, nervous all of a sudden but happy to be pulled into Dean’s arms and go over how they should best tell him.

 

“So, Lucas. Um… I have something to tell you,” Dean started when they all sat down to dinner.

“Yeah, what?”

“It’s not very easy to say. Uh… I need you to stay calm and…,” Dean didn’t seem to know how to start, even after deciding that it was time to spill the beans, so Cas jumped in.

“You know how you said that Dean likes me when we we‘re preparing for the party?”

“Yeah, because he does,” Lucas seemed confused.

“Well, I like him a lot in fact,” Dean said nervously, taking Cas’ hand in an obvious gesture. “You know, in a I’m-with-him way,” Dean breathed out a long, steadying breath.

“O…kay?” Lucas asked haltingly.

“How do you feel about that?” Dean asked, while Lucas’ eyes wandered around on the table top as if he was thinking hard.

“I don’t know. Let me wrap my head around this first. So you’re together? Like together together? Kissing, and stuff?”

“Yes,” Cas agreed.

“But isn’t that against the law? No offense, dad, but you‘re kinda a little too old for Cas.”

“Yeah, that’s the thing," Dean agreed. "I'm much older than Cas and that's why you can’t tell anyone about this, at least not until Cas is 18.”

“You’re gonna keep this up for that long?” Lucas went bog-eyed. “You really mean this, don’t you?”

“Yes, otherwise it wouldn’t be something you’d have to bother with. We just thought we should tell you,” Dean said, and Cas was a bit perturbed by the way Dean said ’we’. It seemed like a very grown up thing to say, the sort of thing his parents would say when they wanted something from him and wanted to present a unified front.

Obviously Lucas saw it that way too, because he started back a little and asked: “I don’t have to call you dad anytime soon, do I, Cas?”

“Hell no,” Dean chuckled. “Look, this doesn’t really have to be a big deal, you know. It doesn’t change who we are. Cas is still your best friend, you still go to school together, do all the kids stuff, but uh… Cas doesn’t need the spare mattress anymore when he’s over here. U- unless you’re not cool with that. I mean if you’re not cool with seeing me hug him for longer or kissing him, you wouldn’t have to.”

“No, it’s cool. Don’t hold back on my account,” Lucas said and then looked contemplative for some minutes before he went on: “I’m just thinking about you coming back from work and then we’re having dinner. Afterwards Cas goes home, so that kinda means you have almost no time do relationship stuff, right?”

“No, not that much actually. But you really don’t have to worry about that, Lucas, we can make it work. The thing is though, you really shouldn’t tell anyone, especially not Cas’ parents. The laws are not on our sides with this, but Cas and I really feel deeply for each other and that wouldn’t change if we waited for those two years.”

“So this is your mystery boyfriend? My father?” Lucas asked Cas and then chuckled. “Boyfriend doesn’t really cut it then, more like manfriend.”

“I swear you’re way too cool with this,” Dean chuckled about Lucas’ lame word joke as they fistbumped.

“Maybe I’m just not really getting what’s the big deal about everyone wanting a relationship and stuff,” Lucas wondered.

“Yeah, you’re not ready yet.”

“Maybe I’ll never be.”

“That would be cool too,” Dean shrugged, encouraging Lucas in everything he wanted or thought.

 

“I just realised that you’re a very good father,” Cas said at night, both freely going into Dean’s bedroom now and Cas madly grinning about not having to sneak around in this house anymore.

“Yeah, I gotta be, Lucas has only me.”

“Dean?”

“What?”

“Accept the compliment and don’t say it’s an obligation. You’re doing a wonderful job.”

“Yeah, I had practice, you know. Helped raise my brother too after my father was gone. What, why’re looking at me like that?”

“You keep wanting to escape. Saying you have to, you got experience and all. Just accept the compliment. You’re a great father, and a great manfriend.”

Dean chuckled, but only looked at Cas now, not trying anything to diminish himself and suddenly Cas saw that he wasn’t the only one who had to grow here. Dean may have told Cas not to get a hero complex about him, but that arose from deep-seated self esteem issues, which Dean liked to gloss over, but which came out with their mutual kink. He was caring, put others before him constantly, but here with Cas he could live out things he wasn’t comfortable doing anywhere else; he could be demanding, oozing confidence and caring at the same time.

“By the way,” Dean said now, producing two boxes from under the bed. “Merry Christmas and early birthday.”

“Does that mean I won’t get anything on the actual days anymore?” Cas puffed his cheeks out, knowing how Dean reacted when he was adorable.

Right now, Dean just raised his eyebrows, crooking his index finger to motion Cas over, confident and strong even as he looked up into Cas' face from where he sat on the edge of the bed.

“Unpack,” he ordered and in turn unpacked Cas’ very own package as well, already sucking the boy before he had even lifted the lid of the first present. Inside was the very same plug that Dean had given him before, but Cas couldn’t even get pangs of regret at destroying the first one because Dean’s mouth on him drove him out of his mind, and it didn’t get better when he moved on to the second present because Dean’s long, strong fingers sneaked around to Cas’ ass while he still suckled on the teen’s cock.

“Woah, this is as big as yours,” he said, taking a life-sized, thick dildo out of the box, but within another minute, he let his arms fall, the toy in a loose hold and his other guiding Dean’s head onto himself, moaning as he came in the older man’s mouth.

Dean grinned up cockily once he’d swallowed and Cas groaned out: “Even when you’re down there, you’re still completely in charge.”

“Uh uh, Cas. Not ‘even when’, but _exactly_ when. It’s not about the position I’m in, it’s about the things I’m doing. Does it change how much you are at my mercy if I have to look up while I have you by the short and curlies?”

“No, not at all,” Cas said, Dean’s insistent fingers still fumbling in his open trousers, ripping everything Cas was wearing down.

“Turn around,” Dean told him, moaning hungry when he could finally see Cas’ perky ass again. Cas felt peculiar and very, very horny as Dean’s scruff scraped over his cheeks, his teeth nibbled at his flesh and his tongue found it’s way between them with Dean holding him open wide.

“Is my baby hard again?” Dean asked, his fingers darting through, fumbling around with Cas’ balls and then clearly holding a newly erect penis in his hand.

Cas only groaned, but that didn’t suffice as an answer apparently, because Dean tugged at his cock, Cas crying out in pleased shock.

“Let’s try that again. Is my baby hard again?” Dean asked once more.

Cas tried to answer, he really tried, but Dean was jerking him, opening his legs further to suck his balls and prodding fingers into his ass at the same time.

“I can’t, fuck!”

“You can’t get hard? In that case we should go to sleep now,” he heard Dean rasp against his balls and Cas felt in a frenzy.

“I… oh fuck, I’m haaaaard, Daddy. So haaaard for you,” Cas didn’t seem able to wrap his tongue around consonants anymore because he was so out of it.

“Say that again, just the way you just said it.”

“I’m haaaaard?” Cas almost asked, his arousal building.

“That’s right you are, baby,” Dean let go of him for just how long he needed to get naked and then turned Cas around to face him, before he pulled Cas onto himself as he sat back down again.

Cas saw adoration and hunger in Dean’s eyes as he sat on him and decided to play more. “Daddy you’re haaaard too,” he said as if he had never seen Dean’s cock before, licking his lips before he looked back up. “I want it inside me, Daddy.”

“Fucking hell, it just doesn’t get better than this,” Dean said to himself, lunging for the lube on the nightstand, groaning when he noticed Cas spreading himself open for him, moaning for his fingers.

“Still can’t be too loud, baby. Behave a little,” Dean told him, pushing into him with a lubed up finger.

“Don’t wanna behave,” Cas huffed.

“But you gotta, you want to be a good boy, right?”

“So good, promise. Perfect little slut for Daddy’s cock.”

Dean blinked at Cas’ cheeky grin at that.

“You worked on your lingo too?”

Cas only nodded, holding onto Dean’s shoulders and pushing himself up and down on the older man’s fingers.

“Love being all greedy for it, don’t you?”

“Yes!” Cas panted, his cock bopping up and down from how hard he fucked himself on Dean’s fingers. “Oh fuck me, I’m ready, don’t widen me more, I want the stretch.”

“Just for a few seconds more, baby. You need the third finger, don’t want Daddy to hurt you, do you?”

“But Daddy, please,” Cas whispered into Dean’s ear, wanting the burn, the sting of adjusting to Dean’s too thick length for his small body.

“You’ll get what you want, my adorable little pain slut. Daddy’s cock will feel so good for you.”

“Ok,” Cas conceded, popping himself open with his hands in a tight hold on Dean’s neck, letting himself be made ready until Dean felt it was enough.

“You gotta let Daddy tell you when you want too much. Ok, baby?” Dean told him as he carefully pushed into Cas’ impossibly tight body. “Can’t have my precious baby hurt because you want the big stretch, ok?”

“Yeah, Daddy. It’s good this way. You’re so fucking big.” Cas finally felt the burn of a thick cock moving inside him, forcing him apart just like he wanted. His ass was on fire and he greedily worked Dean deeper into himself.

“I don’t think I’ve been this deep inside you yet,” Dean told him as Cas reached behind his back, feeling Dean up to the hilt inside himself. “I wonder if?” Dean went on, moving Cas up and down on himself once, and then letting out a loud moan.

“Pshht, Daddy,” Cas put a finger to his lips, but when he looked down and saw what Dean had seen before, he couldn’t keep his excitement down either. “Is that, fucking hell, Daddy! Is that your cock there?” Cas cursed as he saw a small bulge on his stomach when Dean was all the way in.

“God, yeah! Fuck,” Dean groaned, his fingers on the spot on Cas’ stomach where both of them had seen a bulge and slamming Cas onto himself, both moaning simultaneously when the bulge appeared again.

“Holy fucking crap,” Cas cursed again, wondering when he had ever cursed like this before and not remembering a single time he had.

He locked lips with Dean, in a last attempt to not let Lucas know what exactly they were doing right now, riding up in Dean’s lap, both of them with their hands on the bulge. Cas hooked his other arm around the back of Dean’s neck tighter, panting shallow as he slammed Dean’s cock into himself over and over, bouncing so viciously after a while that Dean had to hold him or his momentum would have upset them both.

“Nghh, ahhhh,” Cas groaned as two sharp tugs on his cock brought him off, ripping Dean into a tumbling orgasm with him.

“Oh…oh!” Cas moaned out just when he thought that he’d finished, but within seconds he spiralled up again, coming hard without being able to breathe before he collapsed on Dean’s shoulder, completely wiped out, Dean’s come in places where it would need a while to come back out of.

“Sleep,” Dean decided, just as exhausted as Cas, and held him tight as he fell down, putting his legs on the bed, and wanting to untangle them, but Cas groaned tiredly.

“No, want it to stay in,” to which Dean only nodded, his eyes already closed as he kissed him again, asleep before their lips even parted.


	17. Chapter 17

“Hey baby,” Cas heard a voice in his ear while waking up, smiling and feeling Dean inside himself as he moved against the man in his back, and heard Dean’s dark chuckle when he nibbled on his ear, his chin feeling very scratchy on the soft skin of Cas‘ neck.

“Ready for a wake up call, or would you’d rather sleep for another few minutes?”

“Wake up call,” Cas said very hoarsely, his voice toppling over.

“That’s so adorable,” Dean grinned, lying down and softly thrusting into Cas. “Your voice breaking. Let’s take it nice and easy. No wearing ourselves out now, right?”

Cas moaned in approval, a slow fire sizzling in him when Dean’s hand trailed down his body and languidly jerked Cas off as he pistoned into him, almost pulling out and then going back in quickly so both of them grew more and more awake the longer they fucked.

Cas moved in time with Dean, taking up the unoccupied hand of the older man up and stuck two of his fingers into his own mouth, moaning and sucking on them.

“Shit, Cas!” Dean panted, rubbing his head over Cas’ shoulder, kissing it as he felt Cas coming around him, moaning as he flicked his tongue over Dean’s fingers. “Fuck the things you do to me, baby boy,” he said, painting Cas white on the inside another couple of seconds later.

“You mean that in a good way, don’t you?” Cas rasped, playing over Dean slick fingers, kissing them as he waited for an answer.

“Hell yeah,” Dean groaned, tugging Cas to himself to cuddle for a few more minutes before they got up, got ready for the day and went down to breakfast.

Lucas was already sitting there, staring into his cereal without looking up as they greeted him.

“What’s up? Cat got your tongue?” Dean asked, slapping his back and Lucas’ head shot up, frowning and looking pissed.

“Lucas? What’s going on?” Cas asked, getting more milk out of the fridge.

“I’m trying to stay calm here,” Lucas said, his voice a near whimper, but when he looked up at Dean, his eyes were red-rimmed and sad.

“Didn’t you love mom?

“What makes you say that?” Dean said tonelessly.

“Because of what you and Cas are doing. I know you said you were together but I hadn’t thought you’d be like this. How can you do that to her?”

“Didn’t you say you wanted Dean to start dating again?” Cas asked quietly.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t thinking. And right now I know I’m saying shit, but I can’t help it. Do you, dad? Were you always just waiting for Cas and anything or anyone else didn’t even matter?”

“It’s not that easy to say, kid. What me and your mom had was good, and what me and Cas have is good. It’s not better, it’s just different.”

“If mom was alive right now and Cas would wave his ass in front of you like he always does, you’d fuck the shit out of him in a heartbeat. That’s not love. You’ve never loved her either!”

Cas was stunned into silence by what came out of Lucas’ mouth and Dean seemed angrier than he’d ever seen him, but he spoke to Lucas very calmly.

“I can’t say what I’d do if the situation were as you say. Fact of the matter is, things are as they are but it’s one thing to feel bad about this, it’s another thing to talk badly about your friend, and that in front of someone who loves him. I know you‘re hurt, and you lash out because of it, but honestly what did you expect? That Cas and I go through telling you all of this and then when you gave us the all clear, you chicken out? I guess this _is_ because you heard us last night?”

“Yes,” Lucas admitted, shifting on his seat. “I didn’t listen for very long, I put headphones on after about a minute, but it felt like a fucking punch to the gut and I’m sorry!” he got louder towards the end of the sentence, looking at Cas. “I’m fucking sorry about what I just said, it just messed me up.”

“It’s ok, you have every right to be,” Cas said, still feeling taken aback by Lucas’ outburst. “I think I should pull back, give everyone time to think about this.”

“No, Cas,” Dean said with desperation, coming over and holding Cas’ face between his hands. “No,” he shook him slightly.

“Just for a while, ok?” Cas said, holding onto Dean’s hands on his face. “I gotta figure some stuff out too. For instance, I’ve thought about getting emancipated from my parents.”

“What?” Dean asked, stunned as well and sitting down, still holding Cas.

“That way we wouldn’t have to hide anymore once it’s done.”

“Is this you trying to make it easier again, like when you thought of quitting the swimming team? Don’t do this for me, Cas.”

“It would be for us, not just for you. I wanna be able to take care of myself.”

“You don’t have to do that. Please tell me you’re just toying with the idea and haven’t actually done anything about that yet.”

“It could be good for me, good for us.”

“No, Cas. I won’t be able to see you at all if you do that. Not for months and perhaps longer than that.”

“Anyone wanna hear what I think?” Lucas asked, sounding timid with seeing how Dean reacted to maybe losing Cas for a while.

“No,” he bit out, while Cas said yes at the same time.

“I think it could be a good thing for Cas to do, but I don’t think he could support himself on his own, and why do it if he doesn’t have to? I think it’d be best if we all took some time off from this and let’s say, we’ll talk about this in a few weeks. Could you hold out until then?”

“Sounds like a good idea, doesn’t it?” Cas said, Dean’s hands still cradling his face as he looked at him pleadingly. “We could think about some things, let everything settle again, right?”

Dean thought about this, pulling Cas onto his lap absentmindedly, needing the comfort right now until he finally said: “Alright, I see that that’s reasonable. But on one condition.”

“Which would be?”

“That we still do your birthday and see how far along things have come then. We made plans and I intend to keep them.”

“Deal,” Cas said, holding on to Dean desperately while Lucas just sat there as if struck by lightning.

“Ok, how is this our life?” he said, breathing deeply to cool the next freak out before it even started.

“I don’t know,” Dean said, too exhausted to even crack a smile as he looked at Cas, his eyes strangely dimmed and hopeless. “I was so happy when I woke up,” he shook his head, not letting go of Cas until they were almost late for school.

Dean drove the kids to school, waving at them by moving his hand through the air once and then driving off, Cas’ gaze zeroing in on the headlights of the car until his eyes stung and he entered the school, Lucas by his side, both not knowing what to say. Neither of them had talked about when the period of separation would start, but everyone knew that Cas wouldn’t visit them for a while after this.

 

* * *

 

 

“Happy birthday,” Dean said, his smile more pained than happy as he and Lucas came in and slid into the booth where Meg and Cas were already waiting for them. Cas could only look up for a second, the sight of wrinkles around Dean’s eyes already too much for him after not having seen him since the morning on which everything escalated.

Two weeks later, their plan was still to stop seeing each other and it wasn’t sure who hated it more, but they went through with their plans anyway. Which was why Cas was sitting here with his two best friends and the man he was in love with and felt nothing short of miserable.

“C’mon Clarence, chin up. It’s your birthday,” Meg said in an attempt to make any of them feel cheer as if her frilly party dress and the hats she’d brought wouldn’t have been enough. Cas appreciated that she made the effort, but he didn’t feel very festive at all.

Lucas stared at the table top almost as soon as he sat down and didn‘t strap on the party hat Meg gave him. It was the first time they were all together again and it was very awkward for everyone. They talked at school, but he missed having Cas at home, the routine they had established upturned now that Cas went home every day instead of coming with him.

Dean took it even harder, he missed Cas every day and he tried not to call or text him as often as he wanted to, but Cas noticed more and more desperation in Dean’s voice and words whenever they spoke, but more than that he felt it in the way Dean held his hand underneath the table now.

“Burgers for everyone are ok?” Meg asked and got a more or less appreciative silent nod from everyone, to which she groaned and ordered when a waitress showed up. “Jeez, you’re a sorry bunch. Perhaps you’ll feel better if you opened your presents now. Here, bro.”

She slid a small packet across the table and when Cas opened it contained a silver amulet in the shape of an angel.

“You have no idea how long I searched for something like this. And then to find someone who could change the engraving, because it said Cassiel at first. As a good luck charm to carry in your wallet or so.”

“Thanks, Meg. I love it.”

Lucas was the next to slide his present over the table, grinning shortly, but then pouting at the table again, the whole situation too much for him.

“A medal? For the ‘bestest’ friend I’ve ever had?” Cas said, breathing with a strain a few times, smiling at Lucas.

His friend smiled back, and said: “I was an ass. Bros?” he said and awkwardly held his fist over the table.

“Course,” Cas quipped and pressed his own against it.

“We’re so lame,” they said in unison and grinned wide.

Cas was barely able to face Dean whose turn it was now, he feared he’d betray how much he missed him to everyone here by breaking out in hysteric crying or to try to straddle him right here and now.

So he only nodded, pressing Dean’s fingers once and mumbling his thanks when he gave him his present. Cas let go of the older man’s hand and started to tear off the wrapping paper, before he stopped.

“It is something I can just unpack here, right?” he asked, raising his eyes up without thinking and dying a thousand little deaths when he found Dean, who still smiled and was immediately leaning in, and Cas just knew he was being painfully obvious with the way his breath hitched as Dean came closer, how his eyes shifted to Dean’s mouth, before he jerked his head away to not do something stupid right now.

“Woah, buddy. You can be glad your parents are busy tonight,” Meg commented quietly, checking the diner if anyone had seen the obvious position. “Tone it down the both of you or you‘ll be caught.”

“You’re right,” Cas said and Dean cocked his head to the side once, not liking how he was being talked to but seeing Meg’s point.

“You can open it here,” Dean answered Cas’ earlier question. “I didn’t know what to get you, so I figured something you could wear or carry around was gonna be good, and apparently I wasn‘t the only one, seeing as we all got you something small and personal,” Dean said as Cas unpacked a leather bracelet which really didn’t go with any of his sweaters, shirts or trousers but since it came from Dean, he absolutely loved it.

“Perhaps I should wear some jeans with this, and an old band shirt or something,” he chuckled as he wound the bracelet around his wrist, playing over the strips forming a pattern on it and the silver clasps as he closed them.

The corner of Dean’s mouth jerked up for a second and he huffed out his approval for the visual, which Cas could also see when he looked back down and see Dean hardening in his pants. Yeah, he was definitely going shopping soon.

After that, he decided the table top was safer to look at and he could excuse the drool in his mouth by their food just arriving.

While they ate, there was silence but it was less tense than before, and by the end of dinner they were talking as if nothing had ever happened even if Cas still avoided looking at Dean.

“I could go for ice cream now,” Meg said in the end, but when she got up, she and Lucas caught Cas hungrily staring at Dean as he got up out of the booth and a bit of skin over his hipbone was exposed as he put his jacket on, which apparently made Lucas decide that they were gonna do something else now.

“In fact, Meg and I will go for ice cream. After we’ve watched a movie.”

“It’s a school night, guys,” Dean started in a feeble attempt to at least pretend to object what was clearly a peace offering and a ‘all right, you’ve got my blessing’ gesture.

“We’ll be outside of the cinema by 11, you can get us home then.”

“Not a second longer,” Dean agreed as they all walked out and he drove them over to the cinema, Meg and Lucas getting out while Meg asked with a cheeky grin if this was a date now.

“Ew, gross. Absolutely not. Move your butt, bro.”

“I’m not a bro, bro,” Meg bopped Lucas as they got out of the car and left Dean and Cas there in a now deafening silence.

“Anywhere you wanna go?” Dean tried to break the silence, but Cas just shook his head.

“Just drive,” he rasped.

Dean drove until he found a dead end street which was surrounded by high walls before he parked the car next to a huge trash can.

“What a nice spot,” he quipped but turned around to face Cas as soon as the engine shut off.

“Hey,” he smirked now, and finally Cas looked at him openly, his eyes stinging and burning and his hands itching from how much he wanted to touch Dean.

“Hey yourself,” he grinned, sliding over and Dean sighed happily, his eager hands already on Cas’ trousers, but the teen shook his head.

“Just hold me for a bit, ok? Right now I need to be close to you like this.”

“Really? I’d thought I’d have to fuck you senseless before you let me cuddle you.”

“Not right now,” Cas answered, holding onto Dean as if he was the only thing to keep him from drowning.

“How have you been?”

“Not so good. I’ve missed you like crazy,” Cas admitted. “And I got a job. In the book shop.”

“Okay?” Dean’s next question was obvious and Cas answered it before he even finished.

“I’ve talked to my parents about getting emancipated. And they said that if it was the way I wanted to do things, they would sign the papers for the court appeal. I haven’t told them about us, though.”

“So are you gonna go through with it?”

“No, I don’t think so. Technically I could, but the court would want me to have a job with which I could support myself entirely and my own apartment lined up. And it’s exhausting enough to work three hours every day after school, but it gives me the thing I was missing. I think I’ve grown more self sufficient and independent already through working.”

“That’s good,” Dean’s voice broke from emotion and he cleared his throat to start again. “It’s good that you found a way to keep your feet on the ground even if it makes me feel like I missed a whole lot of things going on in your life. Ok, with you so far about the developments. Now tell me something kid-like you’ve done?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Binge drinking a whole carton of pineapple juice, smoked in your father’s office. Anything?”

“I’ve ordered lingerie online and put the order in my mother’s name. Does that count?” Cas grinned.

“Come again?”

“I ordered panties and stockings, and I like them.”

“I won’t believe that until you show me, baby. “

“And here I hoped you wouldn’t like me anymore if I did that. So I would get out of having sex tonight.”

“Did you really think that was gonna work? After not seeing you for two whole weeks?”

“No, that’s why I put a plug in my ass,” Cas said, filthily sticking the tip of his index finger into his mouth and slightly gnawing on it while he grinned wide and lusciously swayed his hips as he got out of his seat and finally straddled Dean.

“What do you say, Daddy. Wanna unpack _your_ present?”

“You’re plugged up, and you’re wearing panties right now?” Dean reiterated, looking up at Cas in wonder. 

“Uh huh,” Cas moaned.

“You went through dinner with a goddamn plug up your ass,” Dean was stunned and nervously fumbled at Cas’ buttons, kissing him hungrily and when the shirt wouldn’t give he ripped at it, Cas stopping him just before the buttons popped.

“I’ll get it, just kiss me. Kiss me more,” he moaned, opening more buttons and pressing Dean’s hand to his exposed torso, mumbling as Dean pressed his lips to his.

Cas moved while Dean kissed him, even when Cas hopped up to get the plug, Dean’s lips didn’t leave him, sucking at his pulse point until Cas’ knees buckled.

“Let’s never do that again, ok? Let's never stop seeing each other, I can't deal with it,” Dean said when Cas moved again, pulling Dean’s zipper down and freeing his cock which hadn’t gone down again.

“I might have to sneak out of my house every night, into your bed," Cas said seductively. "And wear your clothes because I'd be too eager getting to you to pack my own stuff and you'd come all over my things. Would you love it if I wore your shirts and jeans?”

“Yes,” Dean gasped, “but I love your sweaters and your shirts too, especially if we'd get come stains on them. I love everything you wear. And hello there, _panties_!” Dean grinned with a loud whoop. “What colour is that?” he said, thumping over the lace straining over Cas’ hard cock which was newly revealed now.

“Peach,” Cas panted, fingering himself and then spread the lube inside himself on Dean’s aching cock.

“Uh huh, just like your ass. Freaking smooth as peaches, baby,” Dean grinned, gripping Cas’ flesh as the boy slowly inserted Dean’s length into himself.

“Mmmmm,” Cas hummed at Dean's words, cantering his hips so that his ass really popped out while he rubbed over the front of his panties which were already soaked in precome.

“Do you love it, baby? Tell me how much.”

“So fucking much, Daddy. I’ve missed this so much. I’ve missed you,” Cas groaned, dangerously close to a sob as he rode Dean hard.

“Missed you too, baby. Fuck, couldn’t even touch myself because I was so lonely without you.”

“Me neither, never touched my cock, only played with my hole today. Want your big hand on me, Daddy.”

“You got it, sweetheart,” Dean answered, rubbing Cas again, the teen’s cock bulging the wet lace as he came long and hard, Dean’s mouth opening as Cas clenched around him and he spilt with a barely muffled groan.

“You know something else I realised while we were apart?” Cas asked, holding Dean’s face between his hands and nuzzled him, his cheek against Dean's.

“What?” Dean panted, still not recovered from his orgasm.

“That I love you. The whole nine yards, as they say. I just woke up one morning and thought about the way you sometimes crack a really lame joke, and Lucas is just rolling his eyes about it, but I knew then that I loved you. That’s what you meant when you said I’d just know, right?”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, his eyes definitely watery now. “I love you so much, Cas. And I’m glad that you’re all there with me now.”

“I’m still in love with you as well, if that’s a thing. To be in love and love at the same time. I still get all those feelings when I look at you and my heart is still racing just through being close to you and could you say something to break the moment now before I cry?” he got faster towards the end because he felt a sob rising in his chest.

“I could give you an ethical definition of the difference between love and falling in love if that would help. We did this in class once and I never forgot it.”

“Me neither,” Cas answered. “I already know the difference,” Cas' breath heaved, and he cuddled Dean, whispering: "Hold me. Just hold me."


	18. Chapter 18

“Shouldn’t we get back soon?” Cas asked, checking the time on his phone but Dean’s arms tightened around his half exposed body more.

“No. No,” he hummed, tugging Cas to himself tightly. “We’ll stay here forever and there is still enough time left.”

“And we still need to discuss how we’re gonna do this from now on.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m working now, directly after school. And then I have homework and other stuff. So I wouldn’t be going to your house anymore.”

“That might be a good idea,” Dean sighed dejectedly. “Perhaps it’s best if you’re not over that often anymore so there’s no suspicion. When do you clock off?”

“Depends. Sometimes at 6, sometimes later.”

“Are you alone there?”

Cas nodded, explaining that now after he knew how to shut down the entire cashpoint checkout and catalogue computer, he was allowed to lock the store by himself.

“Seems like I’ll be buying a lot of books in the foreseeable future,” Dean grinned, pulling Cas to himself again, his eager fingers inside the boy once more, fingering through his own come. “One more time, ok?”

“Yes,” Cas beamed. “But you gotta help me get off, I can’t move my legs anymore.”

“Lay down, baby,” Dean cooed, helping Cas to lie down on the front seat, the boy’s breath hitching as Dean bent his legs up and thrust in with one smooth motion, the rest of the lube and the first comeshot easing his way.

“Hmm, I’m so sloppy, Daddy,” Cas giggled, giddy with arousal and the situation not helping it as his head bumped against the car door and Dean tried to get between his legs, but his own head scraped on the roof of the car.

Dean laughed too, letting Cas’ smaller hands pull his grinning mouth onto himself, kissing him with more chuckles escaping the both of them as he began fucking into the boy.

“Do you love those noises my ass makes?” Cas asked, both of them hearing wet slapping sounds whenever Dean went back in.

“Hell yeah, they’re perfect. Just like you, my darling.”

“I love it too, like you. Like I love you,” Cas moaned not caring that he didn‘t really make sense, his fingers digging into Dean’s hips now, loving how the older man shoved into him so that he slid around on the front seat and the car actually bucked from their movement. “And how much I love this,” he moaned more, jerking off now.

Dean watched him fist his cock, thrusting continually until he heard Cas groan loudly, buck his hips at him and clasp the back of the seat with a sweaty hand as he came between their bodies.

“Fuck,” Cas panted. “Now you,” he grinned at Dean, lifting his hips, inviting the older man to use him hard, while he just held on, loving how carefree Dean was as he let loose on him. Cas loved being the reason why Dean growled animalistically, pressing his dick into him as if he’d die if he didn’t do it, loving how he noticed as soon as Dean was close. His mouth opened, his thrusts grew edged to give himself the final push and then he came, his face expressionless except for an overall bliss that was evident in Dean’s slack open mouth and the way his chest heaved until he stilled, still growling and pushing in with singular hard thrusts until he was done. Cas watched him calm down, his eyes opening after a minute and finding the boy underneath him, starting to smile before he leaned down, kissing him sweetly, even as Cas felt come leaking out of his ass.

“Were you watching me come?” Dean rasped.

“I was,” Cas confirmed, his slender arms around Dean’s strong shoulders. “Perfect moment,” he added even as Dean shifted off him and Cas giggled a little when he felt himself lifted so Dean could see right into his ass.

“Wha- what are you doing now?” he wondered, his hand again clasping the backrest as Dean’s mouth lowered onto his hole and decidedly sucked at it.

“Hell, more!” Cas groaned, wanting this immediately and watched enchantedly as Dean slurped himself out of him.

Cas wanted to watch Dean lap into him, licking deep to get every last drop of come, but he couldn’t hold on, whiteknuckling as he tried to hold on as his other arm shot up and clasped the door handle.

“Praise teen stamina,” Dean grinned as he saw Cas’ cock growing heavy and hard once more.

“Please, Dean. Don’t stop!” Cas whined, wriggling his ass to get the older man’s tongue back into him.

Dean lowered his head again, teasingly blowing over Cas’ sloppy hole before he licked back into him easily and with great relish, until Cas felt his cock throbbing and twitching.

Dean huffed out a breath, his face looking wet and his lips red and swollen as he swallowed Cas’ cock and sucked him off while keeping his eyes glued onto the boy’s face. Cas felt himself watched as he came once more, his ass puckering from Dean prodding fingers into it over and over, retrieving the plug and pressing it into just the right spots until Cas shot right into Dean’s mouth.

“I want it,” he moaned, clawing Dean closer, and panting happily when Dean’s eager tongue was in his mouth, treating it just like his hole before. Cas clutched him greedily, thinking about how naughty and perfect it was to taste himself in Dean’s mouth, along with the older man's own come.

“You know what I love?”

“Apart from me?” Cas grinned satiated.

“No not apart from you. _About_ you. How you always react like I’m showing you a new flashy toy whenever we do something we haven’t done before.”

“You mean like you fucking _sucking_ yourself out of me?” Cas panted out, still not over the visual and just knowing he’d have a wet dream about that tonight.

“When have you picked up the habit of cursing, baby? You didn’t do that before-”

“Before you fucked me so perfectly that I can’t express how much you get me off except by cursing which would make my mother slap her hands across her face in horror?” he chuckled viciously. “You know my family never uses the name of the lord or anything connected to it, right?”

“But just now you shouted out ‘hell’. I think I‘m degrading you.”

“I wanna be degraded, Dean.”

“So being with me is you living out your teenage rebel urges?”

“Yeah. Do you have any idea what it’s like to grow up with being named after an angel? You always have to explain it and then you’re getting teased about it. Good Christian boy Castiel.”

“But you don’t want that?”

“I never wanted it. Mom sometimes says that something isn’t quite right with me. I can never follow the beaten track or obey anyone and then I can‘t deal with the consequences of my actions.”

“But you obey me. And you love when I let you know that your actions have consequences. Like just now. You watched me come, so I made sure you had a bit of a show until you were so turned on you _couldn’t_ watch anymore.”

“You’re different. With you I can just be, stop fighting who I’m supposed to be and get just let go of everything that I don’t like about the way my life is. Did you know that I got an A- on a math test recently and it was the first time dad said something to me about school? He asked me why the minus was there.”

“Did you never get anything but an A?”

“No, never.”

“Then he probably wondered why you were slipping. That’s nice to ask of him.”

“No, it’s the first time he’s shown any interest. Whenever I say I’m nervous about a test, he says it’s gonna be alright, I will manage. And when I come home with my A, he says he knew it all along and that’s that. I never get any credit for the things I’m doing. Did you know that dad hasn’t finished school? He said he had a problem with authority and spent his time doodling or writing a _godawful_ horror story in class so they eventually kicked him out without allowing him to graduate. He claims he’s been born one generation too late and he’s the epitome of beat.”

“Like Kerouac and Ginsberg?” Dean asked and Cas looked at him with a thankful but disbelieving expression, so Dean grinned. “Hey, I read.”

“No, it’s not that. You get it? You really get it?”

“Sure, I do. Your father thinks he’s got undiscovered literary talent which has only got to be brought to the light and at the same time he’s imbibing to get the ‘creativity’ working, to mask the fact that he’s just a very weak man.”

“Yes,” Cas said, stunned to have Dean describe it so perfectly. “How do you know?”

“Well, first of all. Drunks don’t hide their liquor bottles as well as they should which I saw often enough at your house and uh… my dad was like that too. He wasn’t a creative person, but he still thought one day everything was gonna get better, y’know when his ship came in, or whatever. He couldn’t deal with the fact that he and my mother didn’t get along as their marriage went on and that Sammy and I decided we wanted to stay with mom when it finally looked like they were separating. After that he said he was misunderstood and a good person who deserved respect. Don’t matter that he never did anything to earn that respect. He just assumed he earned it just by being older, y’know? Citizen of his time, I guess. I don’t wanna hammer the guy, he’s been through some deep shit, but he could’ve accepted help. Even after Nam, people were there to deal with PTSD, but no. John preferred to numb his pain in alcohol and dreams of what his family would be like if he cleaned up his act, but he never did, drowning himself in liquor until he finally came 'round, but he was stubborn to the very last, to hide how weak he really was.”

“You’re lucky you had your mother,” Cas said, coming over and stroking Dean’s face in a childish gesture which Dean however appreciated and threw an arm around the boy to steady him as he kissed him on the cheek.

“Yeah, I don’t know what would’ve happened if we hadn’t had mom. But you don’t even have that, do you, baby?”

“Not really. Mom’s nice and very strong, but you know she’s never there to make up for dad’s bumming around, sitting in publishing offices all day to get his manuscripts there if he isn't drunk off his ass for once. She gives him money, you know? To get him into a motel if he goes further out than a day’s journey, which he _has_ to now because everyone in the area doesn’t even open their door for him anymore. Whenever he comes back, he stinks as if he never made it to a motel shower and just spent his lodging money on liquor after another publisher turned him down.”

“Then why does she keep giving him money?”

“Because it’s better to have him out of the house than to have him there and I don’t need to see him sleeping on the couch all day is what she said to me once. He’s always very sleepy and a terrified drunk, if that’s a thing. Always says the apocalypse is nigh when he’s had a few.”

“Why did you never tell me that before, Cas?”

“Because I didn’t want you to know. Neither mom nor I did want anyone to know. Mostly I close my eyes to all that anyway and pretend like it’s all alright. But sometimes, I think it would be best if he’d get cirrhosis and just leave us alone, y’know? Is that mean of me?”

“It’s human,” Dean said, and Cas knew he was trying not to make any judgement about all of this, but added: “After all you’ve told me now, I think it might not be a bad idea if you’d get emancipated, or if you and your mom got away from him. He’s bringing both of you down. Perhaps you shouldn't even have to keep that house and move into something easier to maintain, so your mom wouldn’t have to work that hard all day.”

“You know what I’ve actually started doing? I buy groceries and make dinner when I get home and it’s already a huge weight off mom’s back. I check what we need when I go out of the house and bring those things as well. She starts to see the difference between someone who contributes and someone who just bums around.”

“Baby, I wanna say something here, and please don’t take it the wrong way. I love how you help her with all of that, but I feel you’re taking too much on. You shouldn’t have to shoulder all of that already. You should spend your money on something you like.”

“I’m doing that as well,” Cas beamed, thankful for the chance to lighten the mood as he pressed Dean’s hand against his crotch, the panties in place again. “Remember?”

“How could I _ever_ forget,” Dean grinned, holding Cas differently than before to give his poor legs a rest. “I think you’re incredibly strong, baby. But you’ll snap soon if you don’t talk to your mother about this. Maybe make it so she’s worried about you, or saying you want to go to a fancy college so she saves that money instead of spending it on your dad, y’know? Tell me honestly, how much pressure are you under with this?”

“A shitload,” Cas groaned out honestly. “Do you know that dad isn’t even interested in me enough to know that I’m gay? Mom knows without me even having to tell her, but dad doesn‘t pay attention to anyone but himself.”

“Then you should stop waiting for the day he’ll come around. I know that’s a hard thing to do, but the way you talked about him noticing you when you didn’t get your usual grade kinda suggests that you still wait for him to appreciate you, slap you on the back and say: Good on you, son. Take it from me, Cas. That day is a long way off, if it comes at all. Live your own life and don‘t wait for others.”

“I do live my life. I have you, I have school, friends, swimming and work. It would just be nice for him to know that I exist, y’know?”

“Course it would, but don’t get trapped in this situation just because he doesn’t. Sometimes you just gotta move on. And it‘s getting late, we gotta get you back there, unless you want to stay with me?” Dean asked, hopeful even though he knew they couldn’t.

“I wish I could. But you’ll come by the bookshop soon, right?”

“Very soon,” Dean assured him as he backed out of the shabby alley in which they had spent the last two hours, bearing their heart and soul to the other.


	19. Chapter 19

In the morning, Cas woke up happy and relaxed. He remembered faintly how he had dreamt about Dean and what they had done in the car last night. He reached into his sleeping shorts and true enough, he had had a wet dream about it.

Chuckling darkly, he took a picture of himself and the mess in his pants, to send to Dean with the caption: “I dreamt about you.”

The answer was immediate. Dean was calling him, asking as soon as the connection established: “What did I do in your dream?”

“You did that thing you did last night. With your tongue.”

“Hmm, yes. Good, wasn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“How are you otherwise?”

“Pretty good.”

“That’s great. Tell you what. Why don’t you, uh… Put your plug in after swimming practice.”

“I have to get to work then,” Cas shook his head.

“I know,” Dean rasped.

“You want me to work with a purple plastic thing stimulating my prostate?”

“Uh huh…” Dean hummed and Cas heard him breathing heavily.

“Are you jerking off?”

“Uh huh,” Dean intoned again and Cas heard rustling before he distinctly heard a couple of slick sounds and he could just picture Dean holding the phone to his hand jerking his cock.

“Fuck,” Cas cursed, hopping off into the bathroom and locking it.

By the time he was fully focused on his phone again, Dean had obviously brought it back to his mouth because he asked:“Whatcha doing, sweetheart?”

“Getting ready for a shower, and uh throbbing…,” Cas answered truthfully, looking down at his swollen cock as he slipped out of his pyjamas.

“Perfect. Jerk off with me, baby.”

“I don’t think I can,” Cas blushed, clutching the bathroom counter.

“You can,” Dean encouraged. “Imagine it’s me, taking up your hand, playing over your collarbone. Are you doing that?”

“Yes,” Cas breathed.

“Ok, then slowly go lower. Is your stomach naked?”

“Mhmm,” Cas supplied.

“Tease over those cute little muscles there, squeeze your side just above your hip just for me. And now, fan your hand out, and slowly move down. Is your cock in your fist now, darlin’?” he asked when Cas only moaned quietly throughout the instructions.

“Yes,” Cas answered, his hand feeling as if Dean had really put it there and it made him feel very, very good. “I’m thumping over the head,” he panted.

“Now I’m spreading the precome out on it, making it easy. Fuck, good,” he got faster.

“You’re so fucking sexy. I love only hearing you, your voice gets lower when you’re close.”

“I’m close, yeah. So close…. Ah!” he shouted out, come shooting out of his cock and onto the bathroom floor, the phone slipping in his sweaty grasp.

“Dean,” he moaned, his post-orgasmic blow seeking an outlet when he’d usually pull Dean close to feel his love, he now felt a wave rush through him that had no way of breaking without Dean actually within reach. “Dean,” he whined again.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect. I love that little needy whine,” Dean groaned and Cas heard the older man come too now, his breath a perfect pant of “Fuck yeah,” and “Yes, oh yes,” until Cas heard nothing but heavy breathing.

“I miss you,” Cas groaned, tears stinging in his eyes and a fist pressed to his mouth after he bit out those words.

“I’m here, baby. I’m right here.”

“I wanna see you,” he sniffed.

“Soon, Cas. You get ready for school now, study hard, and think of me when you put your plug in, right? Send me a photo too?”

“Yes,” Cas answered, a tear rolling onto his cheek and he bit his lips, not to let his longing come off as too strong, even though he was thoroughly overwhelmed now.

“Hold on there, alright kiddo?”

“Yes,” Cas said again. “I love you,” he said as a goodbye.

“Love you too,” Dean answered before Cas pressed the red button and the entire time he was in the shower, he cried, letting the hot water wash the tears off his face but t wasn't helping the puffy and red look of his eyes when he watched himself in the mirror afterwards.

He couldn’t even explain to himself why he was so completely done right now, he only knew that he was missing Dean very much. Phone sex was hot, he had gotten off on it very quickly, but he felt something missing. Dean’s warmth, his gentle, but exhausted smile when they had finished, his kiss on Cas’ temple, shoulder or mouth before he rolled off and smiled at him almost shyly, no matter how hard they had done it before.

He had missed Dean so much throughout the two weeks of their separation, but he had prided himself to bear it better than the older man. But after yesterday night, everything he had so carefully locked away popped up again, love and sex inseparable now that he finally felt it all truly blossoming within his inner core.

He brushed his teeth, seeing that his toothpaste was almost empty and he needed to pick some up before coming home from work. Somehow, this profane fact grounded him a bit and he could calm down as he went into the kitchen and bid his mother and father good morning.

“How was your birthday?” his mom asked him.

“It was great. I had an awesome time.”

“Awesome?” she smiled. “Since when do you say ‘awesome’?”

“Since always?” Cas suggested, and wondered if he really hadn’t said it before Dean.

“No, not to my knowledge,” Naomi shook her head, but smiled gently at her son. “I’m glad you had an ‘awesome’ time.” She looked at her husband now, staring into his cereal bowl as if he hadn’t registered that there were other people in the kitchen. “Chuck?”

“Eh?” he raised his head at her calling his name. “Oh, yeah. Happy birthday, Castiel.”

“My birthday was yesterday, father.”

“Oh, really? Must have gotten the days mixed up.”

“No, you didn’t actually. You wished me a happy birthday yesterday already.”

“Oh, right,” Chuck intoned and then lowered his head into the bowl again, slurping the milk out of it as if he was dying of thirst.

“Ok, so I’m off now,” Naomi said to Cas, pressing him to herself once and kissing the top of his head. “Anything special for dinner?”

“I’ll rustle something up,” Cas assured her.

“You’re an angel,” she said with a smile as she pulled the kitchen door shut, leaving Cas alone with his father.

Cas made himself a bowl of cereal as well, sitting down while Chuck only stared into his bowl, flinching a bit when he heard ceramic clunk on wood and Cas’ chair scratch on the floor as he pulled it.

“So, what are you doing in school today?”

“I have a Spanish test, I’m gonna do crack in the lunch break and maybe blow some jocks after swimming practice, haven’t decided on that one yet.”

“Wonderful, I’m glad you’re doing so well,” Chuck said and Cas just stared incredulously at seeing his theory confirmed that his father really didn’t listen to him.

Chuck got up without another word and slumped off into his office, leaving Cas to clean up his breakfast as well.

“Yeah, go on,” he muttered under his breath, picking both bowls up when he had finished and wanted to just run them under the tap quickly, but when he picked up the second bowl, he noticed a funny smell emanating from it.

He felt like a creep when he lifted it up and sniffed it. Whisky, definitely. His father had spiked his breakfast with alcohol.

“Terrific,” Cas groaned, but put it out of his head as he put prep material and his plug into his schoolbag, thinking of it as a little token of forbidden perfection in his life, his pleasure barrier against the failures of his elders.

 

School was uneventful that day, as well as swimming practice, and before he knew it he was at work, talking to customers, ordering their books for them and seeing which bestsellers they needed to reorder soon, all while his breath hitched when the plug inside him moved and sending a shiver down his spine and an image of Dean through his head.

6 PM rolled around sooner than he thought, and he was just about to close the register when he heard the bell over the door announce an infuriatingly late customer.

“Sorry, we’re closed,” he said offhandedly.

“I know,” a familiar voice answered, and Cas’ head snapped up, his face breaking out into an enormous grin.

“Dean!” he shouted, his cheeky nature flashing up as soon as he laid eyes on the older man. “We’re still closed though.”

“I’m not here to buy a book.”

“Even if you just want a greeting card I can‘t help you, I am just about to close up.”

“Fuck, that’s so unbelievably hot. Say more.”

“I’m sorry, Sir. Are you trying to harass me?”

“Oh god, yes,” Dean answered with a toothy smile, coming closer.

“Not right here," Cas said, looking out throughout the big shop windows. "Leave and come back in through the back door. The alley behind it is dark and there are no windows there from which anyone could overlook the door.”

“You’ve already checked that out, have you?” Dean smirked.

“Yeah, and I might have gotten off to the thought of you appearing right there and doing what we do best.”

“Gotcha,” Dean quipped and stalked out of the store as if he was pissed about getting there too late to buy something.

Two minutes later, just when Cas had turned the sign around to ‘closed’, he heard a knock at the back door.

He went there to open it, a dark figure sweeping in immediately and pressing him into the wall as the door fell shut.

“Please, mister. Don’t hurt me. The register is over there.”

“It’s your sweet ass that I want, my boy. No money on earth could replace that pleasure,” Dean rasped dangerously, pulling Cas up underneath his armpits and Cas hungrily hooking his legs around the older man’s hips.

“Second door to the left,” me mumbled, directing Dean to the store room, where he felt himself be put down onto a brown packet of books, on a crate which was still awaiting to be stacked into the shelves tomorrow.

Cas preened at Dean tugging down his trousers immediately, working the plug inside him in small circles.

“I got so hot and bothered by your photo, baby.”

“Did you jerk off again?” Cas enquired, gasping hungrily when Dean pulled a small packet of lube out of his jacket pocket and unceremoniously unzipped to take his cock out.

“No, I wanted to wait. Did you come? You looked pretty damn hard, you know?”

“I couldn’t help but play with myself a little, Daddy. But I swear I waited for you.”

“Good boy,” Dean groaned, his cock hard and slick as he prodded the plug out of Cas, putting the rest of the lube on him and slowly pushing in, too huge and too perfect as ever.

“Oh yeah, that’s it,” Cas moaned, hooking his legs up and reaching out for another packet in his back to hold on as he watched Dean’s cock disappear inside him, both of them still nearly fully clothed which just added to the thrill of things.

“I can’t believe I’m fucking you in the store room of your work,” Dean mumbled, picking up speed immediately at the sheer naughtiness of the situation.

“Believe it. It’s the filthiest thing we’ve done yet, and I fucking enjoy it, Daddy. Harder, want it so much harder,” he said, sliding around on the thick cardboard underneath his body.

Cas felt Dean roughly force himself into him, his hand on Cas’ cock and coaxing him until he came with a bang, loving the soft whisper of foil inside the box he lay on and Dean’s passionate grunts as he fucked him until he came.

Cas pulled at Dean’s arms, and sniffled again, not because he felt as lonely as when he’d come this morning, but because everything was finally as it should be. Dean was there, smoothing his sweaty hair off his forehead, teasing his nose gently over the boy’s cheek and kissed him so sweetly that Cas let out a sob because of it.

“Are you ok?”

“I am. I’m better than ok. You’re here, that‘s everything.”

“You’re not ok,” Dean said gently, carding through Cas’ hair and the boy felt the sudden urge to stop talking, only passionately lifting himself up a bit, guiding Dean’s mouth onto his, kissing him because he really didn’t wanna speak right now, just enjoy that Dean was here and it was all good as long as he was.

 

Dean dropped him off at home after they had made out for another half hour, and Cas still smiled as he came through the front door, but his face fell when his father sat at the kitchen table, his eyes red-rimmed and overall soggy looking in a threadbare bathrobe with his underwear flashing through. Cas knew that he had drunken more than he should’ve because he trembled as if someone was out to get him which always happened when he had outdone himself once again.

“Did you bring food?”

“What? Oh no, I forgot to go shopping. I’ll just see what’s in the fridge and while it’s cooking I’ll run down to the store,” Cas more talked to himself than to his father, the knowledge from this morning still in mind.

“You could have just gotten it while you were out, couldn’t you?”

Cas blinked, anger starting to rise.

“I could’ve. But I haven’t. Once. Why didn’t you go out and get toothpaste and stuff? You were here the whole time.”

“I don’t even know what we’re missing,” Chuck shrugged.

“Yes, because you don’t pay attention. You’d only notice there is no more toilet paper when the roll is already empty, right?”

“I don’t like the way you talk to me. And I’ve had a stressful day as it is.”

“What did the bottom of the whisky bottle come too close too soon again? That’s what happens when you start drinking in the early AMs!”

“What’s going on?” Naomi asked, just coming home and sitting down at the table, her bag and coat in hand.

“Dad’s just had a couple too many today,” Cas quipped, pressing a glass with water into his mother’s hand and putting her things away so she could stay seated for a while. “And I forgot to go shopping today. I was just about to make something from what we still got and do a quick run when I’ve got stuff in the oven. Obviously that wasn’t good enough for Mr. ‘I sit on my ass all day and then have demands’ over here.”

“What’s gotten into you?” Chuck asked, getting up and staggering while he did so. “Since when are you so bothersome? Is this like a teenage rebellion thing?”

“No it isn’t!” Cas shouted. “It’s me, telling you that you’re insufficient as a father, as a husband and as a human being.”

“I don’t have time to deal with an emotional teenager. Let our your frustrations with your classmates or something.”

“But they don’t frustrate me. You do. You’re the reason for this freak out!”

“Castiel, please calm down,” Naomi said, trying to get up, but Cas gently pressed her down again.

“Sit, mom. You’re exhausted.”

“Exactly,” Chuck bristled up. “You are stressing your hard-working mother with your selfish unnecessary drama.”

“Selfish?” Cas shouted out. “I’m the one who’s being selfish here? Who is supposed to be the grown up and take care of others?”

“What do you want me to wipe your butt, like when you were little? Spoon feed you?”

“No, but you could fucking talk to me once in a while. How about that?”

“I have enough problems as it is. I don’t need to bother with your puny concerns too.”

“So you’re not even wondering why you’re the last person I’d ever go to? The last person I think about when something good happens to me? You don’t even wanna change that?”

“I don’t know what you want from me.”

“I want you to give a fucking damn!” Cas shouted. “You know what I did today? What I’ve been doing for a while? I'm having sex with Dean Winchester, father. And I fucking love everything about him and he makes me so goddamn happy. Say something! Give a damn!” he shouted when Chuck just stood there without uttering a sound.

Only when Naomi slowly raised her hand to cover her mouth, did Cas realise what he had just said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the shock and the cliffhanger. Cas just snapped on me and I couldn't stop what came out.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that last chapter got quite the reception, ey? I can't decide whether the collective 'oh shit' reaction was my favourite, or the suggestions just to get rid of the parents. As you'll see in this chapter, I didn't do that, lol.

Panic. White hot, searing panic burned through Cas as he stood in the deafening silence that followed his revelation.

It was so quiet that he heard the faucet of the kitchen sink drip, and the longer the silence went on, the higher his panic rose until his father finally broke the silence.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you. And I don’t pretend to get a single word of what just came out of your mouth. I’m the dramaturgic thinker here and if you really want to put on an act like that, you should just save it for drama class.”

Cas sat down, the complete dismissal of his father worse than almost any consequences that could have arisen.

Chuck nodded, turned his back to fumble around in a cabinet, both Naomi and Cas hearing the clonking of bottles, but when Chuck resurfaced, he seemed shy and wanting to escape.

“If you’ll excuse me,” he said, not able to look at them and practically ran off into his office, hiding what everyone knew was a fresh whisky bottle in his robe.

When the door fell shut behind him, Cas just sat there thunderstruck, trying to come up with anything that might rescue the situation, because his father had obviously not believed him, but what about his mom? Could he pretend to laugh it off, and say: Ha ha, just kidding? She’d never believe that, and he’d be foolish to try, given that Dean had once told him he was an open book anyway.

“Mom?” he asked after another 10 minutes of silence, his voice itching his throat.

“Yes, Castiel?”

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking we need to run down to the store.”

“Why?” Cas asked, his mind blank and his eyes wide open.

“Because I need to think. About a whole lot of stuff and I’d would be best if we talked about this after I have thought about it. Because right now, I’m just shocked. But I need more information too. You meant it, right?”

“Yes,” Cas said, a steadfastness to his voice that he had not expected.

“How long has it been going on?”

“A bit over two months.”

“And how did it happen?”

“That’s a long story. But it was me who initiated it.”

“Okaaaay.” Naomi swallowed. “And you say you love him?”

“Very much,” Cas nodded.

“And this emancipation thing you mentioned a few weeks ago. Was that because of this?”

“Partly, yes. Because I don’t want Dean to get into trouble because... A-and because I think I’m mature enough to take care of myself.”

“You are,” Naomi nodded slowly, one last question on her mind. “Who else knows?”

“Meg does. She gave me a cover story for one weekend. And Lucas too.”

“His son knows?” Naomi’s eyes widened.

“Yes, we figured he’d deserve to know now instead of finding it out when we go to college and Dean comes to visit me and not him.”

“That long, huh?” Naomi brooded.

“Longer,” Cas said simply, implying everything he felt and wanted in just one word.

“I think I need a drink,” she said, getting up and opening the same cupboard as her husband just had. She got a glass and filled it half with whisky, but when she lifted it up to drink, she stopped. Her gaze seemed drawn to the closed door of the study and a stern frown appeared on her brow.

“No,” she decided and unceremoniously emptied the glass into the sink. Cas watched her grasp the edge of the counter, her head hanging until she seemed to come to a decision and brandished the bottle she had just opened, pouring the entire contents down the drain and doing so with the 3 or 4 others that were still in the cabinet.

“Can you check the living room for me?” she asked, and Cas nodded, knowing all his father’s not so secret hideaways and staggered back with at least a dozen bottles piled high on his arms.

“Thank you,” Naomi took them off him and emptied them as well. “Let’s take these out right now.”

 

They went shopping after that, not even mentioning Dean or Chuck or anything grievous at all. They made their way through the store, chatting a bit about what they needed and how their days had been. After that they went home, Naomi cooked and Cas did his homework at the kitchen table.

He tried to stay calm, the bitter feeling that the panic left was still too fresh, even when they set the table and started to eat, not even bothering to call Chuck. Cas knew his mom was still thinking but he couldn’t leave things as they were, he wouldn’t be able to sleep at all once he was alone and at liberty to think about the stupid thing he had done tonight.

“Mom?” he asked once more, not knowing how to say: Please don’t let my manfriend be thrown into jail because of me.

Naomi obviously knew what he meant, even though she didn’t really address the problem: “I have the weekend off. Let’s say, we go on a little trip, you and I. And if you want you can invite Lucas… and his dad too.”

“Actually I’ve already made plans with D-,” Cas started but it was evident that Naomi would not allow objection on this one, and he really shouldn’t oppose her right now, so he sighed. “I’ll ask.”

“I know it’s not how you wanted to spend your weekend, but since you are open for a compromise, how about I offer one too. When we stay at a motel or something, I won’t say anything if you share a room with Dean,” Cas knew this was a huge concession from his mother.

“You’d be ok with that?” Cas asked, his eyes once again stinging, but this time from how grateful he was for her talking about this instead of jumping the gun.

“No,” Naomi answered honestly. “But I’m willing to give you a chance. And I have no doubt that you were completely honest with me, so I won’t do anything about it. I just have to see how you are when you’re not on your guard around him.”

“What do you mean?”

“To see if you’re under his spell and if you need to be protected from it. I worry about you, Castiel. And I have to know you’re safe. I know I am going to far here, but I have to ask. Is he treating you right? Are you happy when you’re together, or… intimate?”

Cas couldn’t help it, he snorted out: “Understatement,” before going on more elaborately: “Yes, I really enjoy spending time with Dean and do anything we wanna do. I have never been happier.”

Naomi seemed to pick up on Cas’ good mood, because she smiled: “Who knew. My little angel, a real Casanova.”

“No, mom,” Cas shook his head. “Casanova wanted many partners. I only want one. Have you ever felt that?” he asked, his morning’s emotions coming up again and he was actually very relieved to talk about this with a grown up right now. Meg was a good listener, but her experience was limited, and it was obviously not possible at all to ask Lucas about this, so he had no one to talk to but Dean. And for various reasons, he didn't want to let him see how smitten he really was with him. But here, with his mom was the chance and also necessity to talk about all the feelings he experienced at the moment.

So he continued to ask her: “Physically missing someone? Not just thinking that you’d like it if they were there, but really aching when you’re not in his arms?”

She nodded, her gaze seemingly directed to a time long past because whatever she had with Chuck right now was not what she was thinking about, because she had never smiled like this when he was present.

“I wanna be with him,” Cas entreated. “Any day, preferably all day.” He pictured waking up with Dean’s arms around him, pictured the older man standing in front of the coffee machine, his hair a mess and his eyes half closed. He pictured worming into his arms and showering him with kisses until Dean didn’t even need caffeine to be wide awake, when a movement from his mother brought him back to reality.

“You really love him, don’t you?”

“I do,” Cas nodded.

“Well, he’s a good man. And a good father. Speaking of fathers… Don’t speak about this to your father again. I don’t trust him with this knowledge should it ever enter that thick skull of his.”

“Ok, mom. Hey, what I was wondering… why do you keep supporting him? Is he like this with you too?”

Naomi just contemplated for a while, apparently wondering how much she should tell her son, but then deciding to come clean.

“I think your father is not the right person for me. I thought he’d grow up once life changed and he had responsibilities for me and later for you. Instead of stepping up to the challenge though, he broke because of it. Or rather, he didn‘t get that he had to care for anyone else but him, and even there he failed, as you can see.”

“Then why do you let him squander our money?”

“I never give him too much. I save a lot of it to have you go to a good college, that’s why I work so hard and so much. He,” he cocked her head to where his father had doubtlessly drunken himself into a stupor now, “only gets enough for a cheap motel room now and again, and the cheapest booze he can possibly find, so he’s out of the house when he’s having days like these. But now you‘ve seen exactly what he‘s like.”

“I don’t know how you could live with him,” Cas shook his head.

“I don’t, mostly. He locks himself in his study all the time and you know how long my hours are and why I never objected to you being anywhere but here. Today was the first time I’ve seen him this week, apart from yesterday morning when I marched in and reminded him it was your birthday.”

“Should we try to get him some help?”

“I’ve tried, Castiel. I’ve hosted countless interventions, put him into sanatoriums where he could sit down and write in peace after detox, but whenever he’s back home he goes straight to the bottle again. The last time I did that was when you were too little to notice that you didn’t see him for 30 days. When he came back that time, he drank himself into a coma as if to make up for the alcohol he hadn’t been able to consume during rehab. He doesn‘t want any help, so I‘ve stopped trying and the only thing I can do for him was try to keep him off the streets, and to keep you from being hurt by him. Obviously I haven‘t really managed that, have I?”

“It’s not your fault. You can’t help how he is. But, mom? What’s gonna happen now?”

“What do you mean?”

“You threw out his whisky. That means something doesn’t it?”

“It means that I saw that he’s hurting you. Maybe even driving you into something so reckless as to endanger someone you really care about just for the shock factor. I mean that is why you blurted out about what you and Dean are doing?”

“I guess,” Cas admitted, squirming uncomfortably. “But also because I can’t stand being treated like my concerns aren’t important, because let me tell you, it’s not easy and because of the way things are, I’ve been struggling a lot to keep this a secret. And it means so much to me, that I just couldn’t stand there and say nothing while he throws stuff at my head about how this is because of something so puny as a fight in school, or to get his attention,” Cas talked on and on, admitting things that he hadn’t seen clearly in his head so far, but now that he talked about it, he realised that this was exactly how he had felt and the reason why he just burst out like that.

“You are still a child,” Naomi told him, and laid a hand on his arm when Cas frowned. “You are though. You knew what was at stake, and in the heat of the moment you still forget to think about the consequences of your actions. Do you _now_ get what I mean by that?”

“I do,” Cas admitted, a strange feeling of finally getting something his mom wanted to teach him for a while.

“Good,” she praised. “Why don’t you call Dean, tell him everything that happened and ask him about the weekend? I’ll finish up here. Wanna watch some TV afterwards?”

“Yes. Thanks, mom. I love you.”

“I love you too, Castiel.”

 

“Dean?”

“Hey hey, if it isn’t my favourite boy in the whole world. How’s it hanging? Or are you calling me about being ready for round 2 of phone sex?” Dean seemed almost painfully happy right now.

“None of the above, sadly. I have to tell you something and you have to promise not to freak out until I finished telling you everything, ok?”

“Okay?” Dean supplied, and Cas heard him close a door, before he sat down with a barely there groan. “I’m ready.”

“Right. So, dad’s been completely out of it today and we got into a fight. During which I might have bursted out that we’re together.”

Cas heard a shocked hitching of a breath as the only reply, so he went on more quickly, thinking about how Dean was probably loosening his tie because he didn’t seem to get enough air, and his back breaking out in cold sweat.

“He didn’t really believe me and brushed me off. But mom didn't. First of all, she’s not gonna press charges. Th-that’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Cas breathed in and out to calm down before he went on. “I told her most of it. How I started this, and who knows and what it means to us. She wants us all to meet, now. Do a weekend trip with you, me and Lucas. This weekend, in fact. A-and also, she told me about dad and his problems, we threw his whisky out and she really wants to change things around here. And I think I got the thing with the consequences of my actions now, because I feel so fucking bad about just bursting it out like that,” he sniffed, his upset finally spilling out. “I’m sorry, I might as well just have ruined everything today, and we're so lucky that it didn’t backfire at all. I’m so sorry that I‘m just a dumb kid. You should break up with me right now and find someone who‘s worthy of you, and I won‘t even blame you. Dean?” he asked when he didn’t hear anything for a while.

“I’m here,” the older man said finally, not sounding angry as he went on. “Ok, so… First of all: What the hell were you thinking? Second, I’m glad I won’t have to wear an orange jumpsuit. Really not my colour. And third, I’m not gonna break up with you, you dummy. Obviously your mom wants to meet and probably talk to me too, she’s absolutely entitled to do that. I am angry at you, I won’t deny that. Especially since we’ve talked about this being the _very_ thing you should not do, under any circumstances.”

“I’m sorry,” Cas’ bawled now, only strangling his ongoing sobs to listen to what Dean had to say.

“I know you are and I don’t blame you. But I wish you’d be here right now and I could work my frustration out on you, spank you raw even though you‘re not ready for the real deal yet, but hey you really earned that punishment.”

“And I’d deserve it,” Cas choked out.

“Yeah, you damn well would, you stupid little shit.”

“Stop sounding like you adore me!” Cas groaned, guilt pooling in his gut at Dean‘s fond tone.

“And I adore and love you, you stupid little shit,” Dean finished as if nothing had happened so that Cas actually chuckled even as he dried his face.

“I love you too, and I because of that, I have to tell you that you are dating a stupid little kid with a big mouth,” he felt the first traces of cheekiness surface again.

“Oh, I enjoy his mouth very much,” Dean indulged him with a chuckle. “Can I see you without motherly supervision before we go?”

“Tomorrow evening, same time as today?”

“Perfect, I’ll see you then. And tonight, you’re gonna fuck yourself with your dildo for an hour and you’re not allowed to slack off, or come. Wear the plug again, the whole day this time,” Dean commanded, and Cas wasn’t sure who of them needed this more right now.

“Yes, Daddy,” he agreed absolutely, the nickname soothing his soul with all it implied before he hung up and went to watch some TV with his mom.


	21. Chapter 21

“If I ever live to see seven wonders!” Cas’ mom _growled_ from the shotgun seat of Dean’s car while everyone was staring out of the windows, their foreheads scrunched as Naomi sang one Fleetwood Mac song after another.

Dean hadn’t objected when she inserted her tape and not even to her singing which was more than a little off key, because she seemed to enjoy herself so much.

Cas was astonished at her transformation, in a situation that might as well have been completely tense, but when he remembered how little his mom got out of the house, even a short weekend trip with her son, his much older boyfriend and said boyfriend’s son must feel like a fresh breath of air.

When ‘Go your own way’ started playing, his mom actually scrolled down the window and hooted out loud to the oncoming traffic, the drivers all in a dither because of it.

“Mom, you’re embarrassing,” Cas groaned, but felt himself smiling when she loudly sang along and waved him to fall in, and before he knew it he was hollering the chorus from the top of his lungs, throwing his slender arms around Dean in front of him and pressing an exuberant kiss to his slightly stubbly cheek.

Dean smiled a little, not taking his eyes off the road and stroked over Cas’ arm once before the boy let himself fall back into his seat.

Naomi’s exuberance lasted the whole rest of the journey, not even Friday homecoming traffic jams in Kansas city could stop her from being in a good mood.

They pulled up outside a hotel (not the same that Dean and Cas had gone too before) and since both boys were now under adult supervision, nobody raised their eyebrows at them when they only booked two rooms, two single beds in one and a king sized one in the other. The concierge didn’t need to know that Lucas would be rooming with _Naomi_ in the room with the singles.

“Aren’t you afraid they’re gonna gossip?” Cas asked, when he dumped his bag on his and Dean’s bed.

“Oh, they’ll gossip,” Dean said, resigned unpacking his things onto the bed. “But perhaps they need to, they’re affected by us too.”

Cas walked over the mattress, throwing his arms around Dean and loving to be taller than him for once as he messed up the piles of Dean's clothes.

“Do you think mom’s happy?”

“If you give her a Stevie Nicks album on top of everything, she’ll explode from happiness,” Dean chuckled, still surprised how Naomi had reacted when she could be carefree for once.

“You know what I mean,” Cas rasped and sank down on his knees, his hands running down Dean’s body as he went.

“We haven’t really done much except sit in the car,” Dean reminded him, even as Cas sank even lower, making himself smaller than he was, and rubbed his cheek on Dean’s jeansclad crotch, his hands still reaching high, stroking wherever he could reach.

“Cas, really?” Dean groaned, holding his fingers, and saw Cas look up to him, his face a little redder than usual from the warmth between Dean's legs and the friction of the rough jeans fabric on his smooth cheeks.

“You can’t blame me. You don’t wear jeans that often, and I like it,” he rubbed himself on Dean again, feeling the older man grow hard, so he deliberately pulled one of his hands free, slowly letting it sink down to cup Dean’s erection while always keeping eye contact.

“I wanna suck you,” he moaned, rubbing almost too hard. “Please let me?” he cocked his head to the side, wetting his lips in expectancy of his treat.

“Fucking hell. But be quick,” Dean agreed and Cas’ breath hitched when he unbuttoned his pants and Cas lunged in greedily, sucking as soon as he had freed the tip, so eager was he to blow Dean.

“It’s like you’re starving for it. And you got so good at this,” Dean moaned as Cas took him deeper, using his hands too, throwing himself into the blowjob with his whole body rocking forth.

Cas keened at the praise rolling off Dean’s lips and his hand fisting his hair, until the older man could only moan for minutes at a time, his hips snapping forward with spasm and he warned him: “Gonna come!” so Cas let him slip out and stroke his come out onto his tongue, loving how Dean lost aim and came all across his face first before finding Cas’ hungry lips waiting for the rest.

“You look so fucking good like that. Coated in Daddy’s come. You my good little cocksucker, Cas?”

“Fuck yeah, Daddy,” Cas grinned, lapping come off his lips and getting up again, wanting kisses.

Dean licked his own taste out of Cas until there was nothing left, and he was just ravishing the boy’s mouth.

“Can you come from kissing?” Cas asked with sweet innocence to him, even squealing a little as Dean tested how hard he was.

“If anyone could, you would be the one,” he chuckled and Cas let out another squeal when Dean hooked his hands behind his knees and clean knocked him into the sheets, climbing him and not keeping him out of his sight as he opened Cas’ pants and fondled his cock.

“Want to fuck Daddy’s mouth as a treat for being such a good boy?” Dean asked, and Cas nodded eagerly, excitement rising high as Dean got lower on his body, sucking on his exposed hipbones to make his stomach coil even more before he took him into his mouth completely.

Cas panted, cantering his hips up, knowing Dean could take it, literally fucking his face. The older man’s arms lifted Cas’ hips off the bed, embracing him hard around his waist until Cas was lifted up so much that he couldn’t thrust up anymore and was just watching Dean suck him off with loud moans and perfectly tight suction.

Cas came quicker than Dean, not even really able to give warning other than his stomach visibly tightening and moaning louder, and then he shot right into Dean’s face, loving the sticky stripes of his own come marking his lover’s face in a way that showed he belonged to Cas as well.

“Daddy looks good with come too,” he said childishly, the act making Dean’s eyes crinkle in a smile just like he had wanted it.

“But now my baby has gotta clean Daddy up, right?” Dean muttered and lowered himself onto Cas with a groan, letting him lick and suck every spot that had come on it before Cas kissed him, very satisfied with his work.

“All done,” he beamed, massaging the tendons in Dean’s neck because he knew he had a hard week and Cas’ own actions hadn’t made it any easier.

He was glad they could both blow each other before they touched the subject matter that concerned why they weren’t alone here.

“Are you still angry with me?” Cas now asked, but Dean only rolled his eyes and rested his head heavy on the boy’s chest.

“Ask me that again when I’ve not just come,” he grumbled.

“I can’t make any promises,” Cas smiled, scenting Dean’s shampoo, pressing kisses to the top of his head now and again until the weight on top of him became uncomfortable.

“Dean? Don‘t you think we should get up?”

“What?” Dean bit out, getting up disoriented. “Up? I’m up.”

“No, you’re not,” Cas chuckled seeing Dean’s mussed hair and his sleepy eyes. “You were taking a nap.”

“No, I wasn’t. Just resting my eyes.”

“Oh, so that’s why you lay flat on top of me without bracing your weight like you usually do?”

“Did I?” Dean said ruefully, his hands twitching as if he wanted to check if he had done any damage to Cas’ rips.

“Mhmm,” Cas hummed, pulling Dean onto himself again. “I think I’m addicted to your warmth.”

“You’re addicted to me, period,” Dean grinned, kissing him deeply for another couple of minutes, and then pulling Cas up effortlessly.

“We need to get back to the others, or else we won’t go out at all.”

“So we don’t,” Cas pouted. “I want you to eat my ass for an hour as punishment for what I did.”

“That what you want, huh? Well, I hope the walls are thick enough, because you’re gonna beg me to come after three minutes.”

“Maybe you need to shut me up then. Shame you‘re not wearing a tie right now,” Cas smirked.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Dean moaned theatrically, his hand clutched to his heart. “Now I’ll have a hard on all through dinner, imagining you tied up and writhing on my tongue.”

“You’re welcome,” Cas smirked, trying as he might to distract Dean from his anger, but also really wanting what he had just suggested. He wondered if it was ethical to distract Dean from what happened with putting new, sexy ideas in his head, but he wasn’t ready to face the conversation they needed to have. He knew he used sex as an escape, but deep within he knew that he was doing it because he was still afraid to talk and wanted to put it off as long as possible.

 

Over dinner, they were all embarrassed more than once, particularly when the waiter talked to Cas and Lucas about going to a kid’s party inside the hotel to let their parents spend some time by themselves after their meal. Cas blushed viciously, Lucas stared at his plate shaking his head, Dean coughed and Naomi fumbled around with her napkin for a while. The waiter only reacted with confusion about being met with four silent guests as his only reply and backed off, probably thinking that they were all freaks.

Dean coughed again, drinking a big sip of water, cleared his throat and promptly started coughing again because he got it into the wrong pipe.

“Are you ok?” Cas asked, panicked when Dean heaved heavily, his breath rattling and was half up on his feet before Dean waved him off, trying to breathe without the air catching painfully again.

“Ok, I’ll live,” he grinned after a minute, his face red, but slowly fading back to his normal skin tone. “Tell me about your Spanish test before the awkwardness _does_ kill me.”

“What?” Cas laughed, and then remembered writing a test on the day he had blurted everything all out. “Oh that. Was pretty good. Will be an A,” he shrugged, taking a sip of water himself, swallowing more carefully than he usually would, so he wouldn’t follow Dean’s example.

“I don’t get how you can be so good at languages,” Lucas shook his head. “I think they’re damn hard. Sorry,” he cast a quick glance at Naomi, who only waved him off about his cursing.

“Talking was never your strong suit,” Dean nodded sympathetically as their food arrived. “You lost your language often enough.”

“Yeah,” Lucas frowned at his plate again, even as their first course arrived and the waiter set loaded tables onto their plates underneath.

“Why? What happened?” Naomi was interested now, even as her three companions just begun to cut their food while she looked a little disdainfully at Cas’ plate. “Meat, Castiel?”

“Aren’t you supposed to eat meat?” Dean asked, obviously wrecking his brain about instances where Cas had ever not eaten anything he had brought, whatever it contained.

“Mom’s vegetarian, and I might have failed to mention that I eat meat at your place,” he blushed, not able to face his mother. He had thought she knew about it, that’s why he had ordered the same steak as Dean.

“I see,” Naomi said, embarrassed about not knowing this secret of her son either, so she tried to steer the conversation back to the earlier topic. “So, Lucas. You lost your voice sometimes?” she tried valiantly to come up with anything to talk about.

“No, not really,” Lucas felt obliged to answer, frowning as he cut his Turkish pizza. “I stopped talking when dad died. And when mom died.”

“Oh, I'm sorry,” Naomi raised her hand to her mouth in shock again, Cas blushing because he felt reminded of his outburst and her reaction to it.

Silence fell for a minute while everyone just poked their food in the tense silence until Naomi tried to rescue the situation again.

“So, you’re Lucas’ stepdad? I never knew that,” she said meaningfully, hoping to get Dean to talk, but he cast a glance at Cas first, who now seemed even more embarrassed because he really didn’t want to hear about how Dean had gotten to know Lucas and by proxy, his mother.

“Yeah, but it isn’t as if it ever mattered. I always saw Lucas as my son,” Dean answered and left it at that, while Naomi looked at her _own_ son, and formulated a little ’oh’ again, obviously seeing something in his face that told her that Cas wasn’t ready to hear about Dean’s previous relationship.

After that, nobody talked until dessert came up and then they talked about nothing but how much they liked it, because it wasn’t easy not to step into figurative landmines everywhere the conversation went.

After dinner was over, Naomi actually wanted to talk to Dean more, so Lucas and Cas played a little with Lucas’ DS, until they both came back and his mother nodded at him that she was resigned to him going with Dean now.

Cas looked up at the older man, who shook his head almost invisibly, saying good night to Lucas and Naomi and then they rushed over to their room again.

“What did you guys talk about?” Cas questioned him immediately once they could talk freely.

“Not much. She asked about my intentions towards you and stuff.”

“And?”

“You know it,” Dean simply said, seemingly drained and exhausted from the motherly interrogation and simply lying down on the bed, crossing his arms behind his head.

“Could you be more concrete?” Cas asked, sitting down next to him and nervously fumbling around with the hem of Dean’s shirt.

“Well,” Dean huffed and stopped Cas’ nervous fingers from ruining his shirt, pulling him down with Cas’ thigh almost involuntarily straddling him from the side in the process. Dean sighed contently, his fingers playing over Cas’ leg as he thought, probably about how much he should tell the boy.

“Legal matters, mostly. About how we’ll handle this situation until you’re 18. And we already decided that you and I have to move and settle in a new city when we can be together for everyone to see. Somewhere people don’t know that I’ve been with you since before your 16th birthday. That was pretty obvious to me from the get go, anyway.”

“That seems logical,” Cas nodded. “And what else?”

“I can’t tell you everything, some of it you should hear from your mom, and other things aren’t relevant for you right now. All I can say it that it’s looking like you’re gonna spend much more time at my house very soon.”

“Okay?” Cas grinned, but seemed a little concerned about how it would look if he was over at the Winchesters' more often again.

“She’ll tell you all about that,” Dean said vaguely.

“That’s the business that you would rather let me hear from mom, right? But what about the things that aren’t relevant to me right now? Tell me, I’m not a child. You can trust me,” he said,but even as he did, Cas blushed and hid his face in shame, touching on the subject he hadn’t wanted to discuss. “Ok, maybe you can’t.”

“It was never a good idea…” Dean said, still very vague and Cas’ eyes started to sting, because despite Dean’s earlier plans for when he was 18, he still expected to be broken up with right now.

“Ok,” he huffed. “I’ll pack my things now. And I’ll sleep under a bridge tonight,” he wanted to get up, but Dean grabbed him hard, holding his face so that he had to face him.

“What are you on about?” he asked, and when Cas ventured a look, it seemed to him like he had misunderstood the older man completely.

“You said it was never a good idea,” he huffed accusatory.

“Yeah, you keeping this a complete secret. Obviously it was gnawing at you. You told Meg, said Lucas needed to know, and now you told your mother. Obviously you couldn’t bottle it all up. But what makes you think you have to leave?”

“I don’t?” Cas bit his lips, stopping himself from breaking out into relieved tears.

“No, never!” Dean said gruffly. “If you keep reacting that way every time there is a hiccup you prove that you’re not ready to know what me and your mom talked about. Not yet, Cas. You lack confidence… and trust. And I don’t wanna do what Naomi proposed while we’re still at this point,” he added as if to himself, clutching the boy tight to himself.

Cas nodded, hardly knowing what he was agreeing to until he had calmed down his galloping heart and let the revelation sink in that Dean thought he wasn’t mature enough to know everything that he and his mom had discussed, so it could only be a very grown up thing. And he conceded that he _didn’t_ feel secure, as much as he knew he loved Dean and how he was certain of the older man’s love whenever he felt happy and content. Dean had been right. When there was a bump in the road, doubts immediately started to rise within him and he expected the rug to be pulled out from underneath his feet. His work had given him the sense of self sufficiency he wanted, but hadn’t helped his personality to grow. He felt like a hapless kid right now and he really didn’t like it.

“Are you too upset to have sex now?” Dean asked him quietly, just when Cas had reached this point.

“No, I want to. And I need you to tie me up.”

“Why?” Dean asked again, obviously not opposed to the idea, but wanting Cas to tell him the reasons for this wish and judge if it was a good thing to do.

“I feel helpless as fuck right now,” Cas let him know. “And I want to be like that when you do me. Take my weakness and turn it into a strength in your hands. Tell me I’m a good boy for taking it, feel strong, powerful and sexy for you. I trust you to make me feel better and I really need to show you that I _do_ trust you, I just have my weak moments from time to time.”

“You can be glad that I actually planned for such an occasion.”

“You _did_ bring a tie?”

“Uh uh, better. I thought about bringing metal ones, but those can really hurt and I don’t think you’re ready for it,” he rambled as he fumbled around in his bag close to the bed, where the majority of his clothes had landed during Cas' earlier blowjob. “So I brought these,” he showed him a pair of leather cuffs once he finally got to them, stretching the material with his eyes so dark that it seemed like there was no green left in them as he asked: “Tied to the headboard or hands behind your back?”

Cas gulped as his hands automatically moved behind his back to get the feeling of being _completely_ helpless and forced to take, as he felt a shiver of barely contained atousal rush through him when Dean moved over with a cat-like grin, and locked his arms together with a tug of finality.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've turned on comment moderation for this now for various reasons (topical ones mostly), but don't be shy of letting me know your thoughts about this. I can't reply to all comments, but the love you share for the story reaches me and keeps me going. ^^

“Are you good?” Dean asked Cas about 40 minutes later.

He only nodded, wriggling himself in Dean’s face more, his breathing heavy and his arms almost numb as Dean’s infernal tongue lapped back into his ass.

Cas was a mess. He drooled onto the pillow, his whole body was drenched in sweat and the leather of the cuffs stung uncomfortably on his naked wrist and back whenever he tried to move. The muscles of his ass were on fire because whenever Dean felt the stimulation of his tongue thrusting into the boy not being enough, he grabbed him hard, wriggled his cheeks around and then softly teased his fingers just above his skin so that he still felt the touch on his skin through the little tactile hairs everywhere.

Cas had long ago started silently sobbing for release, his body feeling warmer than whenever he had had a fever, but there being a rush inside him that made it all worth it. He could take it, could moan loudly for Dean to stave off his orgasm with a squeeze to his cock whenever he got close. He moaned, waiting impatiently for Dean to finish fucking his tongue into his sloppy hole and start nailing him.

Right now, Cas thought he would be able to come just from Dean thrusting into him for the first go; one thrust and his poor cock would shoot for sure.

Next Dean upped his game and pressed him down, Cas felt the wet patch his precome leaking erection had caused on the bed. He turned his head, feeling another wet spot of drool and tears where his face had lain on the pillow as he adjusted so he could face him.

The older man smirked, smoothing over Cas’ heaving sides, gently fondling his ass and then sticking three fingers into him without warning.

Cas flinched, waiting for a sensation of stinging and burning, until he remembered that he had been widened and licked open good and proper for ages so Dean’s fingers sank in all too easily. He inserted them all above each other at first but once Cas felt them inside, Dean gave a twist of his wrist that turned them around until he fucked into him horizontally, his thumb brushing over Cas’ tortured, bursting balls.

“Dean, I-”

“No, you don’t,” Dean rasped, and held the boy’s cock tight at the base, even as Cas felt himself widened even more when Dean slipped his pinky in for good measure. “Doing so good, sweetheart. Can you take more? 10 more minutes?”

“Yes, I can,” Cas sobbed, biting the pillow while Dean never stopped assaulting his prostate, while Cas desperately tried to get up, lift his ass onto Dean’s cock himself if he had to, but his restraints didn’t let him come up even a little.

When he tried to move his legs, get up on his knees, Dean’s hand was steadily pressing him down by the small of his back.

“Just a bit more, baby,” Dean cooed softly, his fingers squelching as they fucked into Cas‘ ass. “You’re so out of it you couldn’t even get up if you wanted to. This is what you wanted, right? Tell me how much you love it.”

“Love it so much, Daddy. Wanna be a good boy for you, take your tongue, take your fingers, take your cock. All day, my pussy is all yours, Daddy.”

“That was perfect, baby. You did so well, you’re getting your treat _now_ ,” Dean pulled his fingers out and Cas felt a weight lower on his entire back as Dean climbed him.

Without much ado, Dean fucked his cock into Cas’ sloppy hole, his hands sneaking underneath his body. The boy felt himself held strong and steady with an arm around his shoulders and collarbones and a massaging hand on the side of his ass.

“Got enough friction, baby boy?” Dean asked, pressing Cas’ hips into the mattress. He nodded breathlessly as his cock brushed hard over the damp fabric as Dean began to ram into him.

“Can I come, Daddy?” he asked weakly trying to move his ass in time with Dean’s thrusts, but he found that he couldn’t, his lust spiralling higher and higher by his immobile state.

“Yeah, baby, yeah. Fuck, just come.”

“Push… my face… into the bed…,” Cas cried out next, and Dean pressed him down more, sticking his fingers into his mouth so the boy’s orgasmic screams were muffled by more than just the pillow as he _finally_ came apart.

His body did things he didn’t even think he was capable. Usually his orgasms were over just after they started, but this one seemed to last longer than ever, every high chased by another until he couldn’t even count them anymore, just felt another wave of stimulation when Dean’s cock pressed back into him over and over, his mouth watering and Dean letting him come up for a gasp of air every twenty seconds or so. Cas couldn’t count how often he climaxed, couldn’t speak or move, he just kept coming, his sobs and moans obscured until Dean came to a hold.

Cas couldn’t say if Dean had come, he hoped he had because he wanted to know he had done a good job like that, but he wasn’t able to get his body to work, or his tongue to move even as he felt the fingers slip out over his lips, and the restraints thrown away.

He only stirred when he stopped feeling full, squirming to get Dean back into him, but then he heard a soft, soothing voice in his ear: “Not tonight, my little angel. Your perfect ass needs a rest. Are you feeling ok?”

Cas answered with a weak moan, and a barely there nod as Dean fully got off him. The boy shivered violently immediately, his overheated body not liking the comparatively cold air, even as his eyelids drooped shut and he tried to smirk that come was indeed leaking out of him now.

“Shhh, darlin’,” Dean’s voice was back in his ear and suddenly the warmth was back too as an arm was thrown over him and Dean maneuvered him around a little until he came to rest on the older man‘s chest.

“It’s alright, baby. Daddy’s here for you,” were the last words Cas heard before he lost consciousness.

 

The first thing Cas heard when he came to was again Dean’s gentle voice in his ear.

“You should wake up soon, you’ve been out cold for 11 hours.”

“What?” Cas asked, disorientated and sitting up, rubbing his eyes.

Dean sat perched on the bed next to him, holding out an energy drink and a large chocolate bar for the boy.

“Don’t tell your mom that that was your breakfast,” Dean rubbed his neck embarrassedly.

“It’ll be our secret,” Cas tried to wink because he felt a little discouraged by his record of keeping secrets so far.

Dean seemed to recall that too, because he raised both his eyebrows with a sassy head tilt until Cas chuckled and climbed into his lap, showering him with kisses until Dean could only moan in pleasure.

“Let’s get a shower,” he hummed and Cas nodded, smirking saucily as Dean wriggled around on the mattress, lifting the boy up once he had grip on the floor and carrying him over into the bathroom.

“Is it gonna be one of _those_ showers?”

“No, baby,” Dean groaned, perhaps regretfully, perhaps a bit strained as he put Cas onto his feet inside the cubicle and pulled him close as he turned the water on.

“I’m not ruined enough, I want more,” Cas pouted, stroking Dean’s chest muscles and nibbled at it for good measure when Dean simply started lathering them both up and didn’t touch him in a sexy way.

“Damn it, Cas. They‘re probably waiting for us,” Dean moaned when a fed up Cas had started grazing his teeth over one of the older man’s nipples and tweaked the other between his fingers.

“I don’t care. _C‘mon_ ,” Cas pleaded, trying to rub himself properly hard on Dean, but he felt himself held by his shoulders, not at arm’s length, but far enough so there was no hope of friction.

“Mean,” he rasped at Dean’s refusal. “Can I at least wash your hair?”

“Only if you promise not to do any funny business.”

“I promise,” Cas vowed and then chastely washed Dean’s hair, feeling very domestic and grown up while he did it.

“ ‘s good,” Dean smiled as the boy massaged his head in circles, and hugged Cas tight around the waist, in turn rubbing little circles into his hipbones, while Cas rinsed him.

“Would be better if we were…,” Cas started and let his words trail off hopefully, but Dean shook his head.

“No, because I am not sure you’re really alright. We’ve never done something as intense as last night and ‘til I know you’re fine, I’m not gonna touch you that way.”

“Wh-what?” Cas asked, and from the way Dean looked at him he saw that the desperation on his face must make him look adorable, but he didn’t feel like it.

“Aww, you’re so cute,” Dean reacted as he turned the water off and wrapped Cas in a huge, fluffy towel.

“What do you mean you’re not touching me?” Cas could not drop the topic.

“I mean,” Dean started as he made quick work of drying himself, Cas feeling himself salivate when Dean turned his back to him and lifted his legs one by one to dry them, giving Cas a perfect visual of his ass with his cock and balls swinging almost playfully whenever he moved.

“Cas?” Dean asked him, and only then Cas realised he had had a tunnel vision below Dean’s waist even as he turned around.

“Yeah, what?” he snapped out of it and faced the older man again.

“I am not gonna touch you, because you’re sore, over-sensitised and might not yet be up to the level of intensity we’ve taken this thing last night. You can shorten the period of me making sure that you’re alright, by being honest with me. How are you feeling?”

“Horny,” was Cas’ immediate answer, but he figured Dean wanted to hear more now. “And exhausted. A-and I want you to hold me all day,” he admitted, feeling a sudden surge of emotion he didn’t quite understand.

“I thought as much,” Dean nodded as if to himself. “Because we’re so much closer now. I’m everywhere in you, and you in me.”

“Yes!” Cas said immediately, not waiting for another lesson or Q&A session because he could pinpoint how last night had made him feel. “My every cell is imprinted with a reaction to your presence,” he summed up what was happening inside him.

“You could say that, or just go by urges. For instance now, what do you wanna do?”

Cas shrugged, not wanting to say it.

“Just show me,” Dean encouraged.

Cas’ head peeked up, a smiled spread on his face and he crossed over to Dean in his huge towel, shed it and practically squashed him in a hug, his whole arms stroking up and down on Dean’s back and he gleefully blew some raspberries on Dean’s chest, before finishing the hug up with gently squeezing the older man’s ass that felt perfect and bouncy in his hands.

Then he just smiled to himself and closed his eyes, resting his head on Dean’s chest and fondly swaying the both of them around for a minute.

When he realised what he had just done, his eyes flew open again and in the bathroom mirror he could see a blush creep into his cheeks.

Dean saw it too, because he hugged him back hard now, and mumbled: “No need to be ashamed, you were supposed to let it all out.”

“Not be on my guard,” Cas echoed his mother’s words in his head and wondered if this had been a lesson in trust, BDSM etiquette, relationship behaviour, or if it was part of his mother’s and Dean’s secret plan.

It could have been either or all of those, the only thing that mattered though was that it made Cas feel really good.

 

When they joined Naomi and Lucas it was clear that they had bonded well and Dean cast Cas a quick look as they sat down to actual breakfast.

Lucas was already in the middle of a story about his latest videogame and Naomi seemed genuinely interested because Lucas talked animatedly and she actually made plans to come over soon and check the game out for herself.

Cas marvelled at his mother’s change, even after breakfast as they went out into the town and searched for something to do with their time here.

They visited several shops, ate lunch and then watched a movie which was a little boring to all of them because it was a children’s movie, yet they couldn’t agree on anything else.

Throughout the day, Cas felt himself watched by his mother and Dean occasionally, and although they were in public now, Cas let himself be a little more tactile with him today. He brushed against him, let a touch of Dean’s hands on his ribs linger for longer, actually stroking his fingers over Dean’s before he let go with a smile. He pulled a leaf out of Dean’s hair without thinking about it and mussed it up on purpose after that.

In the cinema he took Dean’s hand and laid his head on his shoulder, gently smoothing over the back of Dean’s hand with his other one from time to time.

By the time it was time for dinner, all the initial awkwardness had passed, but Cas was again a bit surprised at his mother saying that she was gonna force all three of them to eat more vegetables in the evening when the three of them again ordered a meaty dish.

“So I take it mom is gonna spend time at yours too?” Cas asked when they were alone again.

“Yeah,” Dean said simply, and Cas knew he wouldn’t get more of an answer right now so he asked another question.

“Have I been good or rather… _well_ enough… to get fucked tonight?”

“Yeah,” Dean shrugged, and started to grin when Cas eagerly started to rip his clothes off.


	23. Chapter 23

Cas tried to be as quick as he could to open himself and sit down on Dean because he thought that if he only rode the older man good enough, he’d tell him everything just so he could come.

Cas bounced himself in Dean’s lap, a thick cock moving inside him through his own velocity, but getting himself to stop whenever he felt Dean twitch as if he were close.

“Tell me,” he demanded, panting heavily and clenching down viciously. “Tell me what you talked about.”

“Cas, I’m not playing games with you. Just fuck your pretty ass on my cock and let’s come.”

Cas pretended to obey for another minute or so, riding Dean hard, but just when Dean moaned low and shoved up into him, his arousal palpable, Cas slowed down again.

“Tell me,” he teased, but Dean had had enough.

He lifted the boy off himself, setting him down like a naughty, little kid and shook his head angrily as he held him by the shoulders.

“Stop that, Cas. Stop it immediately. You’re not getting things out of me I don’t wanna tell you by coercing me with sex. I would prefer to finish fucking now, but I’m not gonna tell you and that’s final.”

Tears of humiliation stung in Cas’ eyes, but he nodded and climbed Dean again, inserting Dean’s cock back into himself and letting himself be guided until they had both finished but it wasn’t as satisfying as either had hoped when they climaxed. 

Cas turned onto his side immediately after finishing. His breath was still ragged and he wished for nothing more than to feel Dean’s arms around him, but he wasn’t gonna beg for it and was sure that Dean was too pissed at him to even touch him again.

“You’re so dumb, baby,” he heard a husky voice in his ear and Dean sliding in next to him.

Cas was in his arms now, but even this didn’t feel as good as it should because Dean had shown more maturity about their little fight than Cas had been able to muster up and he felt dirty about wanting to press information out of the man he loved by making him needy for release. That had been a shady trick, it hadn’t worked at all and now Dean put him to shame by holding him precious even after their weird sex.

 

In the morning when they woke up, Cas grunted as he sleepily rubbed over his nose. Something hurt just underneath it and when he jumped up to run into the bathroom, he found the world’s biggest zit just where he had expected it.

“Damn shit,” he muttered, picking up a tissue and pressing it over the inflamed spot to open it.

“Got you,” he groaned when the spot exploded with a satisfying pop and he threw the tissue away immediately afterwards.

“Why’re you sniffling?” Dean asked sleepily when Cas climbed back into bed and tried to hide his face, his nose leaking from the sharp tug of pain that his skin put him through now that the pimple was empty.

“You crying?” Dean asked and lifted the blanket up even though Cas shied away from him.

“What’s this?” he asked, and his index finger flitted over the red and hurting spot underneath his nose immediately. 

Cas blushed in embarrassment, not wanting Dean to know about his teenage mishap an hid his face in his palms.

“Baby, I know you get zits. Everyone gets ’em, even grown ups.”

“What? They’re not disappearing when you’re not a teenager anymore?” Cas’ voice sounded strangely muffled through his hands.

“Nope,” Dean’s stubble brushed over the back of Cas’ hands. “Now let me kiss you good morning, ok?”

Cas glared at him through his fingers, but let them sink down, to reveal his still flushed face.

“Finally,” Dean rasped and kissed Cas so thoroughly that by the end of it, the boy had to gasp for air and his blush was now due to the heat underneath the blanket and the heat pooling in his lower belly. But he felt like he couldn’t let this play out without a few words.

“I’m sorry for last night,” he whispered. “I should learn to trust you more, right?”

“Right,” Dean agreed. “You have to trust me when I tell you things. I’ll never lie to you an only keep some stuff back until you’re ready, ok?”

“Yeah,” Cas breathed and Dean obviously noticed that he was genuine now, and some of the tension seemed to ease out of the boy and obviously decided he deserved a treat now.

“Wanna eat you out, baby. Would you like that?”

“Yes please, Daddy,” Cas beamed and spread his legs.

“So sweet, baby,” Dean grinned and when he sank his tongue into Cas this time, it was entirely for the boy, bringing him off fast and hard with his tongue and a probing, perfect finger against his prostate before Dean took up one of his hands and let Cas jerk him off.

 

At breakfast, Cas knew he must look practically radiant from the immense warmth underneath the blanket and the perfect rim job he had gotten this morning. He didn’t even mind that the spot under his nose still hurt whenever he accidentally brushed against it.

He greeted Lucas and his mom happily and knew that everyone who had ever had a sexual experience must know what his happy glow and catlike movements meant, but his mom didn’t even flinch when she observed his behaviour.

Instead, she solved one of the mysteries that Cas had tried to get out of Dean by unorthodox and if he thought about it, pretty immoral means, last night.

“Castiel, I um… I talked to Dean last night about a lot of things and there is one thing that I have to do for myself which will affect your life as well,” she paused for a while, getting herself some coffee and taking a long sip, even though it was still steaming hot.

“I’m leaving your father,” she announced finally.

Cas nodded numbly, his body still buzzed and warm and so he reacted differently than he normally would. He knew that if he hadn’t been fucked six ways from Sunday right now, he may have jumped up and shouted from joy, followed by a cold, sinking feeling when he noticed that his mom remained seated and frowned at him about his ill-fitting reaction to something she clearly had needed a long time to decide upon. It would have startled her and Cas would regret reacting the way he would’ve but he wouldn’t have been able to take it back.

Instead, he looked at her from across the table, smiled a bit and announced: “I think that might be for the best, mom.”

“Yeah,” she breathed out, her eyes full of water, and the hand in which she held the butter knife slightly shaky. “It’s the right thing to do.”

“So, what are your plans, then?” Cas asked, because it wasn’t really obvious to him what would happen now.

“Well, first of all: We’ll move out. Dean offered me his guest room, and if you don’t mind sharing with him or-”

“I don’t mind,” Cas said too quickly.

“Right, uh…,” Naomi went on, seemingly losing track about Cas’ exuberance which he felt sorry for immediately. This was a big step for her, and he was only preoccupied with how much better his life was gonna if he could be in Dean’s bed every night.

“Okay… I’m gonna file for divorce and I’ll quit my night job and weekend job. And it doesn’t look like I’ll keep my job in the advertisement agency for long either. You know I could only get this part-time thing after you started school, right? They didn’t let me get a full-time job again because I excused myself too often on account of you, or your father. The only reason I didn’t pursue this job further and let them treat me like rubbish was that I would have really long hours otherwise, many of them not paid for while I go to dinner with clients to get more jobs. I couldn’t have done that to you. Not if success meant leaving you with babysitters or your father.” 

Naomi took a steadying breath and went on, very downcast now: “In the end, I worked those other jobs instead that paid the mortgage and repairs and you were still alone. I’m sorry, Castiel. I have failed you.”

“No, mom. You haven’t. You did what you had to do, and so did I. I don’t blame you for keeping things up with dad for as long as you did. And I don’t blame you for the long hours. You did your best. But if you don‘t mind me asking, why the wake up call now?” 

Naomi’s eyes darted over to him, and then to Dean for a half second or so, but it was all Cas needed to know. His mom had made her decision because of Cas’ fight with his father and because of his relationship with Dean. Despite how accepting she was of them, it was obvious that she thought to have failed her son so that he entered into a relationship with a much older man in search of love from a father figure he’d never had. 

Cas tried to get angry about that, but his body was still in his sleepy after sex trance and so he started thinking before he could get angry.

He looked at Dean and asked himself: Would he ever have bent over for this gorgeous individual if his father had been there for him? Was his appetite for hot older man something that only existed because he wanted a lover and a father? Did it matter in the end what his reasons were for falling for Dean?

“Anything else I have to know?” Cas asked, trying to stop thinking about this and focusing back on his mother.

“You can obviously decide with whom you want to stay, Castiel,” Naomi said. “For the moment, we’ll stay with Dean because it’s the most convenient for the both of us, but if you want to move back home, or not come with me once I am back on my feet and find an apartment, you don’t have to come with me.”

“What are you saying, mom?”

“I mean, if you wanted to live in our house, I wouldn’t talk to your father about selling it. And if you don’t wanna move out of Dean’s house again, I would not object to it. It’s your choice, honey.”

“Okay…,” Cas’ thoughts chased each other for a long while. “I don’t want to live in the house. I won’t mind if you decide to sell it. And I will stay with you when you move out.”

“Really?” Naomi’s tears finally spilled when Cas declared he’d stay with her, even though he had the opportunity to live with Dean for an unlimited amount of time.

“Yes,” Cas nodded, knowing that his mother needed him. “I just want-”

“Dean can obviously visit you at any time, and you him,” Naomi nodded, knowing exactly what Cas wanted to say. “You’ll see, it’s gonna be amazing. I’ll find a good job and a big apartment. You’ll maybe even get your own floor and definitely your own bathroom.”

“Sounds great,” Cas smiled and then looked at Dean and Lucas who had both not said anything while they talked. “You’re both ok with this?”

“I’m soooo ok with it,” Lucas bit out through a mouthful of toast and flashed Cas a buttery grin.

“Yeah,” Dean answered simply and then looked at Naomi. “I guess option B would be off the table for the moment, right?” 

She nodded once and Cas couldn’t stand not knowing the rest now.

“Tell me, either of you!” he demanded, looking at his mom as the weaker link.

“Dean and I talked about me giving you permission to marry in case you decided to stay with him and not move with me.”

“Marry?” Cas asked, his head turning to Dean immediately, panic in his eyes.

“Told you, you weren’t ready yet,” Dean mumbled, embarrassed.

Cas’ head spun, the rest of his sex haze leaving him. Marriage? He knew he had talked about the matter with Meg, wanted Dean to ask him when he didn’t feel obligation, but only wanted to marry him because he loved him, and now behind his back, Dean had asked his mother for permission to ask him for his hand? Was it just because it was convenient? No, Cas decided before he had even finished the thought. Dean loved him. He wanted to marry him, definitely. 

Cas imagined himself standing by the stove and baking Dean a pie when he came home from work and then shook himself. It wouldn’t be like that, would it?

And what about his father. He had to give permission as well and that would never happen. Or didn’t his father care either way and Cas just thought he’d object because he actually wasn’t ready for a step like this?

“Cas,” he heard Dean’s voice and with great effort, he looked up to face him again, trying to conceal the bare panic in his gaze, but the older man had seen it already. Cas took his hand and dragged him off back into their room, the other guests’ heads were turning as they went, but it was nothing more than obvious confusion that Cas saw on every face he saw as they walked into the elevator and then closed the door to their room behind themselves.

“I told you, you weren’t ready,” Dean muttered. “It was just an option, you know? We don’t have to do that, just if you wanted, we technically could… I don’t think your father would object,” he debunked Cas’ hasty theory immediately. “ Your mother said he didn’t even fully get what you told him the last time, but if we find him in a clear moment and he signs the permission slip before he spills his guts in a bar, you’d have nothing to fear.”

“But I’m not ready,” Cas pressed out with what seemed his last breath of air. “Don’t hate me,” he went on, still with lack of air as he pressed Dean’s hands. “I want to, or maybe I don’t… not yet. I… I…”

“It’s ok,” Dean soothed him. “It was too much at once for you. Maybe you won’t panic like that when we’ve lived together for a while, but…,” Cas saw him ruffle through his pocket and then producing something that was obviously a ring box out of it: “I was serious about this, you know? I wanna marry you. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but this,” he tapped on the velvet box, “will be here until you’re ready for it, ok?”

Cas opened the box with flimsy movements even though Dean tried to stop him at first, and found a silver ring in it.

“It’s just like yours,” he observed, seeing that it looked just like the ring Dean always wore, a pretty heavy silver ring with a narrow channel carved right through the middle.

“Just a little smaller,” Dean whispered and then he gasped when Cas slipped the ring onto his finger immediately.

“On the right hand, just like you wear it. As a sign that I’m easing into the idea, even if I can’t do this right now,” Cas explained.

“You don’t have to. I haven’t even really proposed and all. I just wanted to show you that I’m serious.”

“So did I,” Cas answered with a smile. “You can put it on my left hand when we decide to finalise it at last. For now though, it’s just a sign that we belong together.”

“I’m ok with that,” Dean grinned and Cas found himself in his arms a second later, confused about the developments of the last hour, but really happy too. He tried hard to ignore that he had picked out his mother to get information in one of her most vulnerable moments, and Dean had been right about Cas not wanting to know everything they had discussed and couldn’t actually be too pleased with him right now. He didn’t even want to think about the possibility that he had developed a Daddy kink might be a psychological condition after all. 

He only focused the good things in his life. On Dean loving him, wanting to marry him, and the fact that they would live together for some time. The rest would all follow later, and while he listened to the older man’s heartbeat, he swore to himself to change from now on. If his mother could do it, then so could he.


	24. Chapter 24

Cas' resolution lasted until the very next day when he started to question his capabilities once more.

It was Monday, and he had to get back to school and work. Increasingly it had felt odd to change back from fuckable Cas from the weekend to studious Cas, and now with everything that was going on, he wasn't sure he'd ever find his real self again, or maybe he just didn't know who he was anymore. Was the person who loved history classes and read everything he could find even him anymore? Was this charade not an excuse of normality which didn't at all feel right to him?

Just this morning, his mom had given him a meaningful nod about wanting to tell his father this evening and that she would need him on this. How was he supposed to go to school and work today when he had the confrontation at the back of his mind all the while? Was this multitasking and behaving differently wherever he was another part of being a grown up?

Did people really have a business persona, or a persona to put on whenever they got into personal conflict and another person altogether that they were whenever they were happy?

Cas thought of Dean while he sat down to his first period of the day, and decided that yes, there were different shades to a person's behaviour. Dean managed to balance a confident businessman, a father, a lover, and his classic rock, greasy food self all at once and now that Cas knew his own struggle to fit into all his boxes, he admired him even more. Cas almost despaired when he thought of having to manage his own tasks for today, but it got easier when the time for each came, whereas as a whole they had looked very daunting.

He tried to be studious Cas once more, and he felt like he had done a good job with his participation in class. He was employee Cas when customers came into the bookshop and asked him about whether or not they had this or that book in store, but he also felt like a robot while doing so. Dean would have called it 'going through the motions', he thought as he locked the back door of the shop and walked back home to be good, supportive son Cas.

It had gotten really cold by now, the old year was waning and a new one would start soon while Cas' life was busy falling apart and putting itself together in another constellation. How was Christmas gonna look like for them? Would he and his mom eat turkey with the Winchesters and would he and Dean then have a grown up Christmas Eve all alone in bed? Would he even be excited about unwrapping presents with Lucas while his ass was still burning from being fucked instead of pretending to wait for presents? Would he be able to talk to Dean's mother and brother like they were his equal, or were they gonna laugh in his face about their relationship? And what would happen with his mom in the meantime? What was gonna happen next year, next week, tomorrow? Too many questions, too little answers.

“I can't do this,” he mumbled as he opened the front door.

“What's the matter, honey?” Naomi had heard him, looking nervous and uncharacteristically fidgety.

“Oh nothing,” Cas sighed, having to put up his 'I'm a good, supportive son' act. “I'll be right out. Dinner smells lovely.”

He dumped his school bag in the general proximity of his desk, wondered if he had time enough to start on the homework he hadn't managed to finish during his lunch break, and with a funnily hollow feeling to his stomach, he decided that it would be for the best to end the math stuff now. He just knew he wouldn't have the right headspace to deal with fabricated problems of logic later on.

This way, he was really late for dinner and his parents already sat across from each other. Cas noticed how little they talked, had always talked to each other in fact.  
He nodded at his mother, who filled his plate before he even said a word. Cauliflower. Again.

Somehow, he felt like everything he said or thought were the last time he would ever do so, like a big blastwave was about to eliminate life as he knew it. He'd moan about his mother's obsession with healthy foods for the last time, he'd sit at this table for the last time, he'd maybe be in this house for the last time.

“Chuck, would you listen to me for a few minutes?” Naomi cleared her throat and took a big sip of water.

“Huh?” Cas' father replied, his telltale response for when he was far away in his own, alcohol-infused world.

“I have decided that things can't carry on as they are right now. Castiel and I are not happy in this house.”

“What do you mean?” Chuck seemingly struggled to keep as clear as possible.

“What I mean is that we're gonna move out, and I will file for divorce.”

“Huh?” Chuck said again, but this time not to show that he was listening, but to let them know that he didn't understand what he was hearing.

“We're leaving. I tried for as long as I could to endure this, but I just can't anymore. I am done with this. You clearly refuse to accept help to get better and frankly I am sick and tired of you spending my hard earned money.”

“So...,” Chuck pondered. “You're leaving?”

“Yes, we are.”

“When?”

“As soon as possible. We're gonna be staying with the Winchesters for now, just so you know where we are and where you could reach us.”

“Ok,” Chuck said, got up and went into his study, closing the door without another word.

“That's it?” Naomi asked, relief or disbelief, Cas wasn't really sure which, showing on her face as she exhaled long and shakily. “He's not even gonna say anything, won't fight, or even yell for Christ's sake?”

“Mom,” Cas said quietly, not wanting her to get aggravated over how little Chuck had reacted to her news.

“It's ok,” she said to him. “Can you pack now or do you want to wait until tomorrow?”

“No, it's fine. I can pack right now.”

“And you're not just saying it so you can get to Dean faster?”

“No, mom. I think it's best if we leave.”

“Right,” Naomi got up, her legs seemed to shake as much as her voice before when she began to collect the dishes.

“Leave it. Chuck can clean up himself.”

“Chuck?” Naomi echoed tonelessly. “You've never called him that before.”

“Well, he's not acting like a dad, that's for sure. Come on, mom. Let's pack our bags.”

“Yes,” Naomi agreed, and Cas followed her to the bedroom that had been entirely her own for too long and only waited until she started packing to leave for his own room and do so himself.

As Cas rummaged around in his closet for his suitcase and travelling bag, he came across his finished math homework and frowned over it. What had they expected? Had they expected for Chuck to flip the table, or beg or yell that they were to stay? Perhaps deep down they had, because that would show them that he did in fact care about what happened. Cas could only imagine how disappointed his mother was now that he was obviously not even gonna fight for them. It had been a big step for her, something she needed to do for her own happiness and Chuck had devalued her struggle, just like he'd devalued Cas' relationship, by simply not caring.

Maybe this grown up thing wasn't putting a foreign face on as much as he thought, but the decision that sometimes, it was more important to look the part that others expected or needed. If that is what this is about, then I did pretty good today, he thought as he emptied his drawers. He thought about being supportive when he clearly felt like it was what a person needed. It still felt like he had been thrown into the deep water without being able to swim, but he also seemed to be adjusting. If people expected a bookseller, you had to present them with a bookseller. If his mother needed support, he would provide it. It didn't feel straining anymore, more like his different faces each served their own purpose. Once he reached this point, he could breathe more freely. There was a reason for all his little roles, and they only defined him as far as he would let them. If he wanted to appear studious, it was because he liked learning. If he appeared strong and supportive, it was because he wanted to be there for other people. He didn't have to do either, but he _wanted_ it.

Cas chuckled as he emptied another drawer containing a side to being a grown up he loved without abandon. While packing his panties and his plug he grinned like a maniac and thought of Dean. This made him realise he still couldn't believe that he was actually leaving this house to stay with him for a great amount of time. It felt surreal when he was all packed, his school bag too, and they started to load up his mother's car all while there was no sign of Chuck.

 

“Dad! They're here,” Lucas yelled as he opened the door for them.

Both of them carried their bags and suitcases inside, just dumping them in the hall for the moment and walking into the living room where Dean sat on the sofa, trying hard not to grin as Cas smiled wide, jumped onto the cushions and smacked him hard on the lips.

“Hello, beautiful,” Dean rasped and kissed him back for a second, before he looked at Naomi, checking how she was keeping up.

“What happened?”

“He was ok with us leaving.”

“Ok?” Dean echoed as Lucas slunk back in, looking curious.

“Yeah, ok.”

“He said he was,” Cas shrugged, watching the TV and stroking over Dean's stomach absentmindedly.

“Right, I'd better make up the guest room then. Cas, you're still rooming with me, right?”

“Sure,” Cas grinned saucily, his heart racing.

“Then you'd better put your clothes into the closet.”

Cas blinked. He hadn't expected to be told to put stuff away, but the way Dean raised his eyebrows told him that he would get a special treat if he did as he was bid.

Cas' heart rate was alarming by the time he opened the door to Dean's closet and saw that he had made room for his stuff.

“Find everything ok?” he heard Dean's voice behind him when he was nearly finished.

“Better than ok,” Cas grinned and shoved his suitcase into it with flourish.

“We gotta stop saying ok. It's far from it. How're you feeling about this. For real?” Dean asked, sitting down at the foot of the bed and watched as Cas put his last pair of jeans away.

“I'm alright. Honestly. It's mom that I worry about. She's taken it too easy. Seriously, this whole thing was too easy. He didn't say anything? Just let us go like that? Like he didn't care at all. What would you do if you were him?”

Cas sighed about the ton of questions he obviously still had and how Dean could bring him to admit them out loud even though he had decided to just function from now on.

“What? I don't get what you mean,” Dean frowned a little about the questions he had no answer for.

“Say Lucas decided he's not gonna live with you anymore.”

“I'd tell him that he'd better get his butt back home or we're gonna have a serious problem and I'll drag him back.”

“And what would you do if I told you tomorrow that I was gonna leave you?”

“I'd spank you and then tie you to the bed,” Dean said and got up.

“And what makes you think I want that?” Cas gave back even as Dean moved closer and pressed him against the boards inside the closet.

“Don't you?” the older man whispered, his stubble scraping over Cas' neck and the tip of his tongue darting out several times, little licks on Cas' skin that made him hard within a minute.

“No, I don't,” he moaned, clasping something behind himself and rutting against Dean.

“Wanna try that again?”

“I don't want to have sex with you,” Cas said steadily and not very truthfully.

“Right then. See you later,” Dean quipped and left Cas standing, until his hands came up to keep Dean in the perfect place to rut against.

“No,” Cas moaned, until it felt like a bubble popped in his head and he was suddenly very clear.

“You're _letting_ me be capricious and pretending! You let me tease you so I feel like I'm free to be whatever I want, with you. And you're right,” Cas realised, his hands balled in Dean's t-shirt and a rush of blood leaving him cold and shaky. “I am free. Free to be with you.”

“Yeah, guilty. I don't want you to worry. It may not look like it at first, but this is for the best.”

“I know,” Cas mumbled. “Can you hold on for a minute? I want to go check on mom. See how she's settling in.”

“She's fine, Cas. She said she'd go straight to sleep after unpacking. I think she wants to be alone.”

“Anything else left to do?” Cas still tried to hold on.

“No, baby. Lucas is in his room, your mom is ok, even the damn dishes are put away! Now all you need to do is let go.”

“You say that like it's so easy,” Cas mumbled, even as Dean bent his neck to kiss it again and rubbed the front of his dented pants sweetly.

“It is,” Dean moaned, reaching out behind himself and closing the closet door.

“Wait... in here?” Cas said as Dean opened his pants and let Cas hop onto him.

“Uh huh, yeah,” Dean moaned as he felt up Cas' boxers. He pealed the boy out of his clothes and turned him round, his hand caressing the back of his neck before he bent him low, letting his arms hold on to a shelf board close to his head.

“Want to do you like this, baby.”

“Shit, yeah. Fuck me,” Cas rasped, his face buried in Dean's clean clothes and his ass fingered and lubed up quickly.

“You stash lube in your closet?” he had the mind to ask when he heard the snick of the cap and Dean's fingers weren't driving him crazy for a second.

“Yep,” Dean quipped, and suddenly Cas felt full, Dean fucking right inside him.

“Hmm, yeah. Faster,” he moaned, reaching out behind himself, grabbing his cheek as Dean plunged in. Cas felt the pull at his rim and jiggled his ass for Dean to go deeper.

“Fuck,” Dean bit out, beginning to thrust now, his hands on Cas' hips making the boy take his cock hard.

“How're you feeling, baby?” he moaned, going steady and his hand moving around to Cas' bopping cock underneath him.

“So good. Hmm, you can go harder. Please.”

Dean sped up, Cas felt his hips hitting his ass with every thrust and the slapping of skin on skin was so much louder in a confined space like this.

Cas reached out behind himself again grabbing his cheeks and feeling waves ripple through his flesh as Dean kept on fucking him.

“Slap me,” he moaned breathlessly, feeling his arm bent back into place on the shelf and Dean lowering his body on him for leverage. Their skin didn't make contact, but Cas felt the heat radiating of Dean all over his back as the older man fucked him deep and brought his hand down on his ass.

“This what you want, boy?”

“Fuck me, yeah!” Cas shouted, loving the sudden jolts of pain from Dean's one hand while the other was weaved around him, jerking him hard.

“That's it,” he groaned, shoving back onto Dean's cock and feeling the rush of orgasm building in his lower stomach.

“You close, baby?”

“Yes, oh fuck yes.”

Dean stopped spanking him, and instead, he massaged Cas' lower stomach, adding sharp bangs to the rush in Cas' body as he milked his come out of him onto the floorboards.

When he was done, Cas held Dean off a bit, sinking down and opening his mouth for Dean to come right into it. He had figured out that he loved comeshots whenever he was too oversensitive to make Dean come inside his ass.

“Give it to me,” he pleaded, sucking Dean's heavy balls into his mouth while Dean jerked off frantically.

As soon as Dean started roaring in orgasm, Cas knew to stop sucking him and held out his tongue, trying not to close his eyes as Dean's cock began shooting out hot robes of come.

Most of the older man's come landed on Cas' cheek, but when he was almost done, he took Dean into his mouth and sucked the last drops out of him, suckling on him happily, while Dean came down from his high, his hands ruffling to Cas' messy hair.

When Cas plopped off, he pulled the boy up, making him jump onto him and carried him over to the bed, kissing and moving their tongues against each other all the way.

“I'm so glad you're here,” Dean whispered, adjusting them both and pulling the covers up over them.

“Me too,” Cas grinned and watched Dean fondly, stroking his bicep lazily. “What did you do today?”

Dean softly shook his head: “We'll talk tomorrow. Right now I want us to fall asleep quickly. You're so happy right now that you're not thinking about anything bad and I want to use that opportunity, because frankly, I don't have another fuck like that in me tonight.”

“That sounds agreeable,” Cas nodded, and while he got comfortable, pressing a sleepy kiss to Dean's chest now and again, he had the feeling that the favourite label to put onto himself was and would ever be 'boyfriend Cas'.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I decided to prolong this to more than just a three-chaptered oneshot, I was aware that it would be necessary to think myself into a teenager and how Cas would handle a situation like this in the long haul, but I had never imagined how many deeper levels of meaning are attached to the whole process of growing up if you compress it into description and feelings.  
> This is, I think, the deepest chapter in the whole story that is not just an age difference porn piece but also a coming of age story that begins with a seduction. There are more meanings to the whole concept of a seduction than just getting someone to have sex with you. It is also an appeal to senses, reducing unfounded fears and leading to emancipation, which is essentially Cas' journey.

The first day starting school from Dean's house was strangely enough not weird at all. Dean dropped both of them off at school, while his mom stayed behind, typing out her resignations for her jobs and scheduled a meeting with her boss at the agency about a possible full-time future with them. 

Cas knew she had never liked to be one of the last people in the pecking order of the agency and only being called to do assistance jobs on several different projects, but she had never complained, simply smiled and done whatever she was told needed doing. Now that she was changing many things in her life, her work should change with it. 

Cas thought about his mom a lot throughout the day, wondering what else would change. She had accepted that he was with Dean, but what would happen now? Was she deciding that since there was a fresh start for just about everything in their lives that she was gonna think about the whole situation again and forbid him to see Dean as soon as they got back on their feet?

“Cas, pay attention. I have no one to explain this to me if you don't,” Meg nudged him until he found himself back out of his thoughts and right in the middle of math class. 

“Sorry.”

“You'd better be. Not only your grade is at stake here, I hope you know that,” she winked and Cas focused on the equations on the board for the rest of the lesson.

Afterwards, he immediately started thinking again. Was his mom really just accepting his relationship for the time being? She simply couldn't be really happy about it, not with how bizarre it must appear to her. Was she still worried for him? 

The thought followed him around the entire rest of the day, and kept playing back and forth during swimming practice.

What if... what if... what if... the water seemed to ask by swapping back and forth in the pool as he raced through it. The prospect of the holidays came up again, meeting Dean's family. Would he be introduced as an official boyfriend? Or was he more of a boytoy for Dean? What if... what if... what if...

“Hey, you coming to mine after?” Lucas asked him when practice was over, chuckling about Cas going: “Yeah, sure,” absentminded.

“Dude, you're way out of it,” Lucas grinned and finally Cas remembered.

“Yeah, of course. I live there now. But I can't. I gotta get to work.”

“Get your head in the game, man,” Lucas clapped his shoulder. “See you at home.”

“Yeah, sure,” Cas mumbled. Why was he worried so much? Was this just the change that didn't agree with him, or did he really have cause to worry?

 

His shift was so uneventful today that he could do his homework at the counter, also to stop himself from asking more and more questions, piling them up so that his stomach seemed more and more upset the more he worried.

“Did you have a good day, babycakes?”

“Babycakes?” Cas finally found himself smiling when Dean collected him from work, commenting on the nickname rather than admitting that he had been out of it the whole day.

“Yeah,” Dean smiled, a little embarrassed. “What's up though? You look kinda skittish.”

“Oh, I've just been thinking too much. Can't really wrap my head around this all, yet. And I keep thinking it's all gonna explode right in my face,” Cas found himself saying absolutely truthfully and without withholding any information.

Dean gave his hand a reassuring squeeze as he pulled away from the bookshop: “Me too. Everything you've just said. I think the same. And I'm glad that you've told me.”

“Can we do something relaxing but also fun tonight?” Cas asked, feeling a little bit like a child, even more so at Dean's next words.

“Like a treat?”

“Yeah, like fucking me senseless,” Cas let out, not wanting to appear tired and immature.

Dean laughed, and if Cas wasn't mistaken, it was probably the first time Dean had laughed today, he had looked so worried and preoccupied when he got here and Cas felt hurt when he thought about Dean being in the same mood that he had been in too.

“I was thinking more like something you like to eat, and a movie in bed. Just the two of us.”

“Fuck, that sounds perfect,” Cas moaned, now that Dean mentioned just hanging out, doing nothing, not having perfect but also always exhausting sex, Cas felt really happy for the first time today and noticed that he had expected Dean to want sex, so he had offered something he didn't feel like today, just so the older man wouldn't be disappointed.

“And sex only if we're up for it afterwards.”

“I doubt I will be. I'll probably fall asleep,” Cas said, again truthful and something that he could not have described clicked into place as one last multi-layered question coursed through his brain. 

When had he stopped saying what he really felt? Dean had told him he loved that he didn't put on an act. But when had it started that he in fact did. Maybe not in the bedroom, no. But he had pretended to be something he wasn't, wanted to be grown up within a second just so that he wouldn't feel inadequate while being with Dean. He hadn't been denying himself, but somewhere along the way, he had fallen out of touch with what was going on inside him and only now realised how exhausted he was. 

He wanted to be strong, desirable and perfect and had failed to listen to his own body's demands. Had Dean not suggested doing nothing and had asked Cas to let himself be strapped to the ceiling, squirting himself open for a deep breeding, he'd done it, no question about it. 

“You seem really pensive,” Dean quietly said when they pulled up in front of the house, seeing lights in the kitchen and Lucas' room.

“Yeah...,” Cas said slowly. “I think I just found myself.”

“What does that mean?” Dean asked, taking Cas' hand again and softly moving his fingers up his arm in little circles.

“Means I'd like to get into my pjs and eat pizza in bed, just the two of us.”

Dean chuckled, obviously thinking that it was another one of Cas' attempts to try on another label. If Cas had to describe it, he'd have used different pairs of shoes to describe his routines. The highest of high heels were what he liked to put on in the bedroom; sensible shoes when he tried to all grown up and now comfy slippers that were perfect for a lazy evening in bed. He hadn't noticed that because all those shoes he tried were new and that they didn't really fit him all that well. He needed to ease into his new shoes, adjust to them but also learn when to put on another pair, appropriate to the situation. 

Dean, who seemed to already know that Cas' shoes were one size too big or too small at times reacted with another laugh:“Would you like a beer as well while we watch the game?”

“No, I'm serious,” Cas tried to explain, seeing that Dean was teasing him for figuratively putting on the wrong pair of shoes again. “I'm not trying to be something I'm not. Not anymore. I could not think of anything I'd rather do than just be with you right now. And get some sleep.”

“And if I'd say that I want you?”

“I'd say you can have me. But not now.”

“Because you don't want to please me anymore?”

“No, I love to please you. You know that. But I can't just ignore what I really want just to do your will,” and that way, I put the shoes on that I want to wear, he added in thought.

Dean beamed at him as if this had been a test and Cas had just reached a perfect score in it. 

“That's great. Means I won't have to tell you what you need, but you can start to ask for it.”

“I mean more than just begging for another blow job from my Daddy Dom,” Cas gave back, trying to find words for his self-discovery.

“I know,” Dean smiled. “Knowing what you need in the bedroom also plays a role outside of it, you know? You're decisive, not letting yourself be pushed around or overruled. Tell me, can you wrap your head around this now? Still thinking it's all gonna explode around you without any control over it?”

“Not entirely, no. I mean I certainly am not just gonna let things happen, but I will try to deal with whatever comes my way. Not sure if I'll succeed with everything that might come, but I am ready.”

“I like this new you. You seem confident, and like you've really arrived at another point. That's the thing, you know? Growing up comes from within, and it's not sudden, or even permanent. It's a long process. Honesty with me and yourself will really help you.”

“I really do get that now,” Cas nodded, stopping the progress of Dean's hand up his arm and pressing a kiss to it just because he felt like it. He was for sure gonna have some moments when he thought that Dean would want to break up with him because self-doubt can always appear from out of nowhere, and it would feel as his his house of cards would crumble. He wasn't an man like Dean, who'd just stretch out onto the couch with a beer and he didn't need to be to fit in. He didn't need to give Dean the best sex he'd ever had, it was alright if they sometimes didn't feel like it. And he should really start standing up for himself more, listening to his own needs instead of bending over backwards because he was with another person.

Cas had realised that his mother was right to worry about him. His whole being was wired around this relationship, he was growing with it, but without it, he would definitely fall. Cas needed Dean too much. He loved the older man so fiercely that it felt like he was dying of desperation and there was nothing to define who he was when he wasn't with him. 

Cas remembered how frantically he had ridden Dean in his car after feelings of insecurity surfaced for the first time inside him. He remembered not being sure he could go back to school after a weekend with him, remembered also the pain of leaving, to a degree that it became unbearable to breathe or think anything that wasn't Dean. 

Cas had heard that nothing ever cuts as deep as the first touch of your first love, but it had not prepared him for the fundamental change within himself, and how the change was faster than his personal growth and didn't wait until he had caught up with it. If he was being brutally honest with himself he had to own that left him feeling helpless and as merely a bystander in his own story.

But he wasn't gonna be a bystander anymore, he was gonna take control himself and not gonna let things happen to him just to please others. This thought finally gave him the security he had needed. Dean loved him, loved it when he was himself, had smiled when Cas was being honest with him. A Dom leads a sub, because he knows what he loves, knows what he needs even if the sub may not know it himself. Cas knew he could bare his true self, all his flaws, all his teenage angst moments, because Dean knew him perfectly and loved him for his honesty. He knew him better than anyone else ever would and without Cas even having realised it, had given him so much strength already that he finally felt ready to take the figurative leap into his safety net that Dean had webbed for him. He knew that Dean wouldn't pull it away, a Dom needs his sub too.

Perhaps it was understandable that Cas had needed time to get here. His father had never given him a safety net, it had felt like Naomi wasn't there enough to provide it, even Meg had unknowingly pulled the rug out from underneath Cas' feet when she had gone off to experience the disappointment of her first relationship. 

Dean knew he had been struggling to adjust, and what helped to open Cas' eyes too was the fact that he stuck around waiting for Cas buttons to click and shoes to drop.

This is what love should be about, Cas nodded to himself as they got out of the car and walked towards the house, knowing someone will always be there to catch you when you fall.


	26. Chapter 26

When they finally went inside, Naomi had some news for them.

“I quit my job. But I have a new one lined up already. And I gave notice to the others that I will only be there until the end of the month.”

“What's the job, mom?” Cas asked dutifully.

“Public relations.”

“Like throwing parties for rich people?”

“Not really, I will be helping to manage information given to the public and stuff. It influences how people see certain things. By and large it's still got to do with media, only I don't work the lousy advertisement hours anymore, though sometimes I'm gonna have to work over-time after all.”

“Are you sure you want to do that now, mom? Seems like a full-time job along everything that's happening with Chuck right could be too much. I don't know, perhaps you could deal with everything now, kick back, finish your other jobs and then see later?”

“It would be nice if I could, but I'm lucky to get this, Castiel,” Naomi said honestly. “I am in my late 40s, have practically wasted my best working years to manual jobs and a drunk husband and this could be the last good job I'll get. I have to take this. It starts right when the diner and packing job finish. I'll still have the mornings off for the next month though, I kinda left the agency with a boom.”

“ I bet you told your asshole boss to stuff it,” Cas smiled and went on before his mom could say anything about his cursing. “That will be like a mini holiday for you. Whatever will you do with that much free time?”

“Yeah, I know. I won't even know what hit me. And about your dad... I've been to see him today to avoid lawyers if I could and he said he's fine with everything I plan to do. He said it's alright to sell the house, and he doesn't even want to see any money from the sale. It's like he gave up everything, not just us.”

“That's... Sad?” Cas suggested, not able to find a better word for it.

“Yes, I agree. Sad sums it up. I had him give me everything in writing though, just so it's all there in case he changes his mind. It didn't seem like he was drunk though. He seemed clear.”

“You sure he was sober?” Dean asked now. “He seems like a delta alcoholic who needs a certain level of alcohol in their blood to function. Maybe you just didn't smell it. Does he drink vodka?”

“Yeah,” Cas answered with surprise evident in his voice about Dean knowing or guessing about this little fact.

“What? He drinks whisky, doesn't he?” Naomi asked her son.

Cas shook his head. “He's got a stack of vodka too, I've seen him drink that in the morning instead of water or sometimes mix it into his milk and only uses whisky for that when he runs out. I've seen it happen when I was getting ready for school.”

“How did I not know?” Naomi asked, her eyes fixed onto the kitchen tiles in horror about how bad it really was with Chuck already.

“You were working,” Cas said simply. “And I only noticed it when he poured it.”

“Yeah, because vodka is colourless and odourless, perfect way to hide how much he really drinks because you can't smell it on his breath,” Dean let them know.

“Great, so this piece of paper isn't worth a damn, because he was not clear when he signed it," Naomi cursed herself.

“No, no. He was. He had his above sea level, if you will, and could function normally for a while. Still would have been better if you'd have a witness in case he decides to act up in court and it's not evident to them that he's drunk.”

“Do you really...,” Cas started but let his words trail off. Better to talk about this with Dean when his mom wasn't in the room. “Anyway, I gotta get rid of this stuff," he waggled around with his back pack and swimming bag. "I still want pizza. Unless you cooked of course?” he asked, a logical assumption because they had found Naomi in the kitchen after all.

“Pizza sounds great. I had only just started, but I had to stop when I smelled the meat. Don't get me wrong,” she said to Dean. “I'm not the sort of vegetarian who puts up an act about all this. Just after the day I've had the smell of it was very nauseating.”

“I'm sure Carlito's has spinach pizza. You like that, don't you?”

“Yes, I do. Thank you,” Naomi seemed close to tears about Cas knowing her favourite type of pizza, so he decided to let Dean take over the ordering and bring her into the living room.

“You sit. I'll make you a cup of tea,” he said, and went out again.

Now that he stood in the hall, he noticed that he still had his back pack on and didn't know where to dump it. Normally he'd just go into his room, but here he didn't have one. Would Dean be cool with him just throwing it into a corner in the master bedroom?

Cas walked down the hall, after awkwardly having made his mom a cup of tea with all his stuff still assembled on or around him and opened the door to Dean's bedroom, searching for an unobtrusive place to put it, when he remembered Dean's office. That might be a better spot, he reckoned.

He walked back and pressed down the handle to a room he had hardly been in during all his stays here. He had always imagined lots of leather and dark, heavy bookcases in here when Lucas told him that Dean was working. Cas' fantasy had run wild with the things going on in this room, and might even have jerked off to the thought of Dean in nothing but knee-high black socks, a jockstrap and a completely ripped up dress shirt furiously rubbing his cock while looking at pictures of Cas in his swim wear.  

But he had been surprised to find that it was an airy room, a desk with filigree for a blend in it and more electronic devices, like a multi-functional printer among others and several filing cabinets, and not much of the steamy fantasy was founded in reality though the idea of Dean like that was still a huge turn on for him and one of these days, he'd ask him to take him like that. 

When he went into the room now, he stopped short. There was a second desk in here now, and an almost empty book case. It only hosted a collective Shakespeare edition, a dictionary and another collection of selected poets.

“Do you like it?” Dean asked, standing behind him in the door. “I know it's not much, but I wanted you to feel welcome to share everything with me. We could maybe get some stuff out of your house so you'd feel more at home. And get your own pillows. I think that a pillow you generally put your head on makes you sleep better than any other.”

“I love it,” Cas smiled, and since he still really felt like needing to just dump his bag, he did so on his new desk and then turned round to Dean with a wide grin. “I really love it. Feels more like home already.”

“Great,” Dean beamed, then his eyes fell on Cas' other bag with swim wear in it and Cas noticed his hands slightly twitching, wanting it gone off the floor.

“I'll put it away in a minute,”Cas soothed the neat freak hiding away in Dean. “Right now I want a proper welcoming gift though.”

“What did you have in mind?” Dean came in, closing the door mindfully.

“Nothing like that,” Cas shook his head. “Just come here, please.”

Dean crossed over, and Cas hopped onto his desk, tangling his legs around the older man's hips and laid his head on his chest, breathing in deeply.

“What if my dad never makes it to court because he drowns himself in liquor first?”

Dean's arms closed around him before he answered.

“Then there is nothing to be done about it. You heard your mom. He doesn't want any help and you can't force people to get better.”

“It's not just me, right? This does sound bad, counting it all together...”

“Honestly, babe? I'm surprised he's even lasted this long.”

Cas had to swallow dryly about Dean's blunt honesty, but he had to face the truth now. His father was drinking himself straight into the grave and did didn't look like he would stop, or if he even could. There must already be damage done to his liver which could never be undone.

“You ok?” Dean whispered when Cas hadn't said anything in over 10 minutes.

He shook his head against Dean's chest, asking muffled through the older man's shirt: “How do you know so much about this?”

“Dad was uh... he had his problems with drinking too. Not like yours, but he went to AA meetings and we sometimes went with him. Heard some stories like you wouldn't believe.”

“I don't doubt it,” Cas nodded, scenting Dean for the last time before letting go. “I think our pizza should be here by now, right?”

“Right,” Dean said businesslike, but with a small smile that made his eyes crinkle beautifully.

On the way back to the kitchen, they finally saw Lucas coming out of his room.

“The first sign of food and suddenly you're here,” Dean chuckled and dragged him into a one-armed hug that barely made them get through the doorway to the kitchen.

“Yeah, had a ton of homework to be done. I don't know how Cas manages it all, with practice and work too.”

“Is it getting too much, Castiel?” Naomi asked immediately, looking up from the cabinet where she had located the plates, debating with herself if they'd need them or not.

Lucas made the choice for her when he checked the boxes for his pizza: “Great, hawaii. Catch y'all later, still not finished,” and went back into his room.

“Right,” Naomi smiled, and Cas tried to appear not too guilty when he gave her her own pizza box and shuffled a little.

“I'll be going to my room then,” Naomi took the hint.

“There's a TV in the escritoire if you want to,” Dean said and Cas felt himself go a little bit weak in the knees about the French word out of Dean's mouth.

“Thank you, but I'm really tired. I think I'll just read for a bit and then go to sleep. Goodnight.”

“Night, mom,” Cas called after her.

“So, are we really gonna eat in bed now?” Dean asked after they heard Naomi's door close.

“Yeah,” Cas sighed expectantly, picked up both their boxes and already went into the bedroom while Dean grabbed some napkins.

“I wanna get out of this stupid monkey suit,” Dean sighed when he found Cas sitting at the foot of the bed, already munching on his first slice.

“Don't let me stop you,” he got out between two bites. “I love watching you undress.”

“Don't you be getting any ideas, baby.”

“Wouldn't dream of it,” Cas said, but couldn't help but watch while Dean slipped out of his suit jacket. “Hey, why is it that everyone has a gorgeous ass in slacks?”

“What do you mean?” Dean smiled, loosening his tie.

“I mean your ass looks so hot in these pants, I'm half hard just looking at it. Maybe it's the black, with your white shirt, and that leather belt...” Cas fantasised and moaned filthily around his next slice of pizza.

“You love looking at me, do you?”

“Oh yeah,” Cas nodded. “You're incredibly sexy and most of the time you don't even seem to try to be. Like effortless. I mean look at you! You and your comfy boxer shorts and your stupid black t-shirt.”

“What's wrong with them?” Dean asked, jumping onto the mattress and rescuing his own pizza which would doubtlessly have fallen victim to Cas' appetite in another minute as well.

“They're too sexy,” Cas rasped, splaying his hands on the offending clothes and rubbing Dean's skin underneath them.

“They're as plain as they come,” Dean replied, allowing Cas to climb between his legs and tangle his lithe body around his.

“They're hot as hell,” Cas groaned, sucking on Dean's neck and trailing his fingers underneath the hem of his t-shirt.

“I thought I told you not to be getting any ideas?” Dean said softly, stroking over Cas' eager hand and putting his almost uneaten slice of pizza away.

“What can I say? You're my addiction,” Cas smiled ruefully up, put one of the older man's large hands on his hard cock and happily sucked a hickey onto his neck.

“Fuck, Cas. I have to go to work with that, you know that?” Dean moaned, sweetly rubbing the teen and not making a move to stop the suction on his neck from bruising.

Cas' lips plopped off, his hips thrusting against Dean's hold on him and he gasped loudly before he stopped moving.

“Did you just come in your pants, baby?”

“Yes?” Cas asked, pride at his accomplishment evident in his gaze.

“My miracle,” Dean groaned, bending Cas' neck upwards and capturing his lips in a hungry kiss.

Cas kissed back, the situation in his pants a bit sticky, but not yet uncomfortable and he kissed Dean harder, moving his neck so Dean would let him have his way and just lie back.

Cas pressed his hands into the mattress and pushed Dean lower with his whole body until he lay propped up on the throw pillows that hadn't been taken out of the bed yet.

“I really wanna suck your cock now,” Cas whispered, reaching into Dean's shorts while he kept kissing him, gasping loudly when he had the thick hot length in hand.

“I swear it's like you enjoy this even more than me,” Dean panted as Cas moved lower.

“And maybe I do,” the boy chuckled before he sucked the tip into his mouth, letting his tongue play around with it for some time before really going down to business.

All he heard were appreciative moans from Dean, his hands feeling wonderful carding through his hair.

Cas sucked feverishly until Dean's grip tightened once and then he looked up, seeing Dean prop himself up to see his dick sliding in and out of Cas' throat before he let out one long breath of air and fell back onto the mattress, his come filling Cas' mouth.

The boy swallowed it all, wiping his slack lips discreetly when he climbed back up, loving Dean's stupefied expression when he craned his neck a little, looking into Cas' eyes as if they were his only known fix point and let the boy kiss him once more.

They lay like that, softly kissing and muttering little words of praise for a while, until Dean's stomach loudly reminded them that he had been promised pizza and had only gotten a small appetiser so far.

Cas watched Dean eat, but more than wanting the extra slice he eventually shared with him, he was fascinated with the immediacy of the man he loved all up close while doing something so mundane as eating.

“What?” Dean asked, sauce on his lip and a bit of basil between his teeth. “Do you have to watch me while I eat?”

“Yeah, because it's too perfect to look away,” Cas licked the sauce off the older man's top lip and settled back against him until the last morsel of pizza was gone.

“And what now?” Dean asked, his hands having that itch again that Cas knew meant he wanted to clean up.

“You take the boxes out and I'll get that Shakespeare book you got me. Then we brush our teeth and read for a bit.”

“Together in the same book?”

“Yeah, and no complaining about my leg being to heavy when I throw it over your hips. And no complaining that I tickle you because I can't stop moving my fingers over your chest.”

“Sounds like a deal to me,” Dean grinned.

30 minutes later, Cas was nearly asleep because Dean didn't just look perfect, he also was perfect to lie on, the book lying open after them having just gone through a couple of sonnets.

“Hey, Cas?”

“Hmm?” he rumbled, opening one sleepy eye.

“Since you're all being in touch with yourself now, I want you to tell me something.”

“ 'kay?”

“Is it really not getting too much for you, school, work, practice and us?”

“ 'o,”

“Oh?”

“No,” Cas adjusted a little so he could look up to face Dean.

“Ok, but you let me know the second you want anything to change, right? You know you don't need to work anymore. You don't need to help your mom with the groceries so she could pay off your house and stuff. You could just quit.”

“No, I like to work. And studying is easy for me too. I managed to do all my work during lunch and at work it was slow going so I had time to finish the rest.”

“But Lucas needs so long for everything, I don't want you slacking off.”

“Dean, to be completely honest? Lucas isn't that bright. It's not a bad thing at all, he just needs longer for everything.”

“Yeah, ok,” Dean mumbled pensively, now he being the one who couldn't stop touching Cas, drawing half circles on his shoulder and then down his arm.

“Maybe he just hasn't figured out where his strengths lie, yet,” Cas yawned. “We don't all need to be good at everything. I know I'd be happy if I'd never have to do another math class. But I like science and I need it for that so I don't complain.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Dean sighed, and clapped his stomach before reaching down and rubbing over Cas' thigh a little who had finally gotten out of his clothes before getting back into bed and thrown on a short pajama as well.

He tilted his head at Cas watching him: “You happy?”

“I am,” Cas grinned lopsidedly, settling back down and closing his eyes.

It was true, the second he had decided to just go for it and stay true to his feelings, his happiness had exponentially grown. He really felt like he'd finally arrived at a good place.

“By the way, about the holidays. You and your mom ok with my family coming over here?”

“Sure,” Cas smiled, not thinking that anything might happen to dampen his happiness again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor baby, Cas. He couldn't be more wrong. Dean's family is not gonna be happy when they learn about the two of them.


	27. Chapter 27

“I was just thinking, and please don't take this the wrong way, but... maybe you wanna sleep in Lucas' room while they're here? Maybe that's less uncomfortable for you.”

“What?” Cas asked, feeling like a balloon popped inside of him.

The last weeks had been wonderful. Cas had really started to feel at home in Dean's house. Their sex was better than ever because Dean now allowed Cas to push his own boundaries more, knowing Cas would tell him when he absolutely couldn't take more. If Cas had thought that their sex had been great and fulfilling before, it was nothing to the security he felt now, completely trusting in Dean and himself while they slept with each other.

Otherwise things were going great too. Meg had been over almost as often as Cas had before this all started, and Dean thought that there was a first budding attachment forming between her and Lucas and after seeing them put their heads together over their last math test of the year and Meg hiding her head in the nook of Lucas' neck, Cas thought that there might be something to Dean's theory, even though Lucas himself seemed pretty unaware of the way he reacted to Meg these days and Meg to him.

“I don't know, he's kinda cute. In an oblivious, best friend and kinda cute way. And he's not an ass. He'll tell me when he's ready for stuff, and if it doesn't happen it's ok too. I'm not gonna push anything. But if you and Dean wanna go on a double date again, and you end up letting us out at the cinema, I won't object. I wanna see his stupid expression when I start taking his hand at the movies,” she giggled.

From Lucas himself there was little in-tell to be got, but when Meg cuddled up to him on the couch, he almost automatically wrapped an arm around her and whispered with her throughout the entirety of their evenings spent together.

“Do you think I should give him the talk?” Dean asked Cas, before remembering that it was a very weird thing to say to his kid boyfriend, and so he had a quiet heart to heart with Naomi instead.

He later told Cas that she had let him know that she was hardly the one to give any advice to parents about how best to educate their kids in romantic behaviour since her one stab at it had ended with a not legal relationship with someone who society deemed not suitable for a teenager.

“Still though, she said I should explain the birds and the bees to him again. Not that he doesn't know everything about it, but despite the awkwardness, kids need to hear this from their parents.”

“Yeah, good idea,” Cas had replied and when the time came for Dean to give Lucas the talk, Cas had used the opportunity to spend a whole evening out with his mom to give them some privacy for possible freak outs, which given by the shell-shocked expressions on both Lucas' and Dean's face when he came back hadn't been so far from the truth.

Naomi had talked to Chuck again about what would happen now that she had filed for divorce and he had agreed to the proposal the very same day he got the letter from the court. They agreed that the house should be sold, and that Chuck would use his half of it to pay child support for Cas until he was 18. Naomi had gotten him an account he could not access himself and which had a standing order to give Cas a monthly allowance with which he could do as he saw fit.

“I'm gonna put it into my college fund, together with most of my wages,” was Cas' immediate answer to this.

Chuck himself had said he wanted nothing of Naomi's money anymore and so they signed a form that waved any alimony he might stake a claim to otherwise.

“So that means he has no money whatsoever?” Cas asked and Naomi nodded.

“He says he's not gonna need money once his book is published. And also, the court wants us to come up with a visiting schedule. When would you like to see your dad?”

“I dunno,” Cas shrugged, not really keen on the idea at all. “Maybe first Saturday of the month for a few hours? Just so you can say that we have it worked out, but I don't really wanna see Chuck.”

“He's still your dad,” Naomi said quietly.

Cas felt a little bad about his reluctance to visit his father but the first time he'd seen him in his new living situation he was again affirmed in the knowledge that he'd been right to show reluctance. Chuck now lived in a readily furnished apartment on the other side of town, made affordable by his sporadic author's fees being directed straight to the landlord, and only the rest transferred into his bank account.

With all those developments, it wasn't long until the year was almost at an end and the last day of school in the old year found Cas and Lucas again at practice.

“We're gonna have a tournament between the years.”

Everyone, including Cas groaned at this announcement of the coach. Most kids were visiting family out of state or were going on vacation with their parents.

“Can't we postpone that?” Lucas complained.

“No, we can't. I know it's not the greatest time to do this, but if we could get a team together that would be great.”

“Well, we're not going,” Cas and Lucas decided at once.

“Alright,” coach Rubens seemed a bit put out that her two best swimmers didn't want to compete, but there was nothing she could do about it.

“Can you believe her?” Lucas ranted on the way home.

“I don't think she's set this tournament up,” Cas gave back, relieved to have no more duties until school started up because his boss at the bookstore had given him the whole vacation time off so that he could be completely relaxed over the break.

“I know, but it still sucks. I wanna compete, but I don't want to have to leave when grandma and uncle Sammy are here.”

“What are they like, anyway?” Cas questioned him.

“They're the best,” Lucas beamed and left it at that.

Cas nodded and was soon lost in his own thoughts again. Dean and he hadn't decided if he should really sleep in Lucas' room over the holidays, and it seemed like an unnecessary separation to both of them, yet they hadn't completely disbanded the idea.

As soon as they got back, Lucas started complaining about the tournament and the impossible time for it, Dean nodding to his words and cursing at the right points but it seemed like he was preoccupied as well and he kept throwing quick glances at Cas from time to time.

“You're staying with me,” he told Cas once they finally went to bed.

“Really?” the boy smiled happily, jumping up into Dean's arms and showering him with kisses.

“Yeah, I think they should not be kept in the dark about the gravity of this thing between us. But I need to prepare them, so if you and Lucas could go out on tomorrow when they come here? So I have a bit of time to ease them into this.”

“Yeah, sure. Gives us a chance to catch up with Meg before the holidays,” Cas grinned and reached down into his briefs seductively. “I'm hard, Daddy.”

“Lemme take care of that, baby,” Dean smiled and put Cas down on the bed.

 

“Cas, you're walking funny,” Meg whispered to him, while they walked down the street from Starbucks to the cinema. “Rough night?”

“Perfect night,” Cas corrected her.

“Then I shall say no more, you sex-crazed unicorn,” she grinned.

Cas felt a little wriggly throughout the movie they watched but couldn't help observe that Meg and Lucas were really holding hands now, which somehow made Cas feel like a third wheel, but he tried to ignore the unpleasant feeling, imagining Mary Winchester drawing him into a hug and welcoming him to the family as soon as he got home.

He wondered how he'd cope with the affection she would bestow on him and if he was ready to be called future son-in-law.

On the way back, he gave Lucas and Meg some space to walk together and maybe to breach the subject of their somehow changed relationship, but when they had dropped Meg off and Cas asked what had happened, Lucas seemed again oblivious.

“What do you mean? What should've happened?”

“Oh, nothing,” Cas waved the matter off.

His heart was galloping by the time they got back and they heard raised voices from inside the house.

“How could you do this? I thought I raised you better than to be molesting a child!” a woman was shouting and Cas' face fell immediately. The warm homecoming he had envisioned receded into the distance and he took two steps back to the front door when there was another angry pair of voices raised and coming closer to them.

“I can't understand that you let this happen. What kind of mother are you not to teach your kid that this is illegal and unacceptable?”

“Ok, how is this my fault? Castiel and your brother have hardly notified me about their mutual attraction until they were already together.”

“That all falls in line perfectly for you, doesn't it? You can take advantage of that to improve your own situation. I bet you have no intention of leaving this house any time soon, right? And that job you spoke of most likely doesn't even exist.”

Naomi sounded definitely angry now: “How dare you presume that we're... what? Leeches? Your brother offered to help us out when he didn't even have to, and I am the judge of this situation. My son's relationship is none of your business if people who have custody of him find no objection to it.”

“If your son would have really cared for Dean, he'd turned him away when he came after him. This isn't a sign of love, but of childish self-destructive behaviour.”

Cas felt like every new word he heard was a punch into his already hurting gut and that the speaker knew nothing of the particulars of how he and Dean had gotten together and most likely didn't even care to listen to the story anyway.

Then he finally saw his mother and a tall man who was presumably Sam Winchester come down the hall that led to the bedrooms. At the same time, Dean and a blonde woman who just had to be his mother came out of the living room and since it was just across the entrance, they started to a stop immediately when they caught sight of the boys.

Dean looked like he was burning from the inside out and everyone looked ruffled, Naomi even flushed and very angry.

“Gran? Uncle Sammy? What's going on?” Lucas asked.

“Hey buddy,” Sam Winchester said, came over and hugged Lucas, ignoring Cas as effectively as if he'd been a coat hanger. He only cast him a sideways glance when he walked down the hall again.

Mary Winchester waved Lucas over, who walked toward her stiffly, let himself be hugged and suddenly Cas felt cold and alone with all of them facing him.

“Cas?” Dean asked, tentatively stepping closer as if he was worried Cas would bolt out the door immediately, and it was definitely a possibility the if the boy was considering.

“Babe?” Dean whispered when he was close enough to raise a hand to Cas' cheek and draw him in when he was sure Cas wouldn't hightail out the door.

“Give 'em time,” Dean whispered into his ear.

“I'm tired,” Cas announced and ripped himself away from Dean, stalking through the hall and turned the corner without looking at anyone, but he could feel laser sharp eyes on him all the way into Dean's bedroom. He closed the door insistently and leaned against it heavily, feeling his eyes sting and burn. In the quiet of this dark bedroom he let himself fall onto the bed and cry for hours, because he was sure nobody could see him and whenever his sobs appeared too loud for his liking he bit into his fist to muffle them.

He got out his phone and found a message from Meg if it was ok to call, but he quickly typed that he wasn't up to that, and sent a couple of other messages as well, among them one to the coach that he was after all gonna be available to compete in the tournament. Any excuse not to have to spend more time than he needed underneath this roof.

He quickly hid his phone underneath the pillow when the door opened and someone who was unmistakably Dean hugged him from behind and whispered: “Cas, don't you want some dinner?”

“No, leave me alone. Please, just leave,” Cas cursed his stupid voice for being so hoarse that it betrayed him immediately, now that the concern in Dean's voice foiled his initial plan to just pretend to be asleep.

“They will continue saying stuff like they said today if you don't come out and let them see how awesome you are,” Dean ignored Cas' words, because they both knew he didn't want to be alone right now, he just didn't want to let Dean see him like this.

“I can't,” Cas sighed, his eyes burning but he turned around, Dean visibly starting when he saw a tiny illuminated stretch of his blotched up face in the semi-darkness. “Not today,” Cas continued, not feeling half as embarrassed about letting Dean see his hurt as he had thought. “Was it like this the entire time we were gone?”

“Pretty much,” Dean rubbed his forehead in deep exhaustion. “Sam was the first one to freak, sent Sarah and the boys away immediately so they wouldn't hear all the nasty lawyery shit he had to say to me.”

“I got a pretty good impression of his views when he laid into my mother for accepting your offer to stay here.”

“Yeah, I think I underestimated their reaction to this whole thing.”

“I can still sleep in Lucas' room,” Cas offered, his eyes watering again at proposing something that would hurt him even more, but Dean shook his head.

“No, you're with me,” he growled a little, and the possessive gesture threw Cas over the edge again.

He clung tightly to Dean's shirt, resting his aching head on his chest and sobbing out: “I was so happy last night, it was perfect. Why did this all turn to shit in less than a day?”

“I don't know, baby.”

Dean continued to hold him and let him cry himself to sleep, not leaving again although it was hardly 8 o'clock, and when Cas woke up in the morning, his eyelids were so heavy and swollen that needed a whole minute to open them, feeling as if there were grains of sand scratching his eyeballs as he did.

“Wait, I'll get an ice pack for that,” Dean offered when Cas stirred against him, showing that he had been awake for a while. Cas felt guilty, imagining that Dean couldn't have had a restful night with Cas tossing and turning in immediate proximity but he sure was grateful for the ice pack he placed over his dry and burning eyes a couple of minutes later.

“I love you,” he rasped, just as hoarse as last night, and to his dismay, the headache returned when he sat up.

“I know,” Dean chuckled, adding more earnestly afterwards: “I can send them away if you want to, and let us have a quiet few days instead of dealing with this now. Maybe this is just the first shock talking.”

“Do you want to send them on their way again?”

“After all they said, it would serve them right. But they're still family.”

“So then don't do it. I can handle a little fire from them,” he assured him.

 

After a few days, he wasn't sure if he had not overestimated himself. It wasn't that the other Winchesters were particularly vicious to him, but it was evident that they still meant the first harsh words they had uttered after learning about him and Dean.

Mary Winchester treated him very much like she treated the other children and Cas felt completely belittled when she sent him, Lucas and Sam's kids, Henry and Blake, out the door to build snowmen while the grown-ups sat in the living room and talked.

“This is stupid,” Lucas kicked the snow, looking frozen and pissed while they were basically babysitting the five and three year old boys throwing snow into the air and giggling like idiots.

“I think it's ok to be out here. Less tension,” Cas kicked the snow as well, strangely satisfied by the spray he created.

“Man, it's like awkward capital city in there. I don't get what's their problem!”

“Maybe that I am 16 years old and sleeping with your father, of whom they didn't even know that he was into guys?”

“That's not a reason,” Lucas frowned.

“It is, when you think about it. They were not prepared for something like this to happen. It makes sense that they need time to know what to make of the whole situation and about how seriously they should take this.”

“Stop defending them!” Lucas kicked the snow viciously so that it sprayed all over Henry who giggled even more at the older boy having caught on to the ingenuity that was their game. “Did you hear aunt Sarah call you jailbait when she talked to grandma? As if you weren't even really there. And uncle Sam just keeps getting quiet and all observant when you walk in the room.”

“Well if she said it to her in private, I wasn't there, was I? And I prefer it that he doesn't say much anymore, mom doesn't need to get aggravated over false accusations again.”

“That's not the point, Cas! They treat you like you don't matter and that's not fair. You do matter, you're my friend and you're the love of dad's life!”

“I don't know about the second one,” Cas shuffled awkwardly, getting really cold now.

“No, you are. I've seen him with mom, and I know he loved her, but he's just different with you. You're... I dunno, soulmates or something.”

“What do you know about soulmates?” Cas asked, genuinely curious.

“Hey, just because I don't feel all of what you feel, that doesn't mean I don't call it like I see it.”

“You don't feel it?”

“Nah, not a thing. Look I know, ok. No need to pry. I know Meg likes me. Like 'likes' me. And I think she's cool and I wouldn't say no, but I don't need all this, you know. I- I think I'm asexual.”

“Really? How do you know?”

“I just do. Like... there is nothing happening. I never felt any attraction to a girl, guy, or whatever you like. I like Meg and if she'd wanna be my girlfriend the way I am, that would be fine, but I guess she expects something different than someone who says 'ok cool' about holding hands and stuff.”

“You're absolutely positive about this?” Cas asked, but it seemed logical enough. The disregard to anything related to relationships and Lucas' general attitude strongly suggested that he wasn't really interested in the whole topic, but Cas had never thought as far as this.

“Yeah kinda,” Lucas shrugged. “I just know that all that,” he did a circling motion back into the direction of the house, “is nothing I would ever want. All those feelings that I sometimes see in your face, like when you're almost bouncing on air from happiness, or when you feel lost like during the last few days isn't something I'd ever feel. I don't think I have that in me. Not to mention that the whole idea of... you know... is also leaving me stone cold and disinterested. By the way, I told coach Rubens that she can count on me,” he switched topics all of a sudden.

“Me too,” Cas nodded.

“Yeah, anything to get away from them. And I still don't think you should be so calm about this.”

“I need to be. I can't fall apart again.”

“Again?”

“First night of them being here was rough on me.”

“Yeah, I thought it must have been,” Lucas nodded, stomping from one leg onto the other to get warm again, Henry and Blake imitating their cousin in his fun new game, until Lucas groaned out: “Screw this, we're going in.”

The little ones ran after him, sing-songing: “Screw this, we're going in,” all over even when they helped them out of their snow suits and Sarah came towards them, looking angry.

“I thank you not to curse in front of my children,” she looked at Cas, her face looking cool and disregarding.

“What the fuck makes you think that Cas said anything?” Lucas said angrily, pressing the dripping wet outdoor clothes into her arms. “I was the one who fucking cursed, alright?”

“Lucas,” Mary said quietly, all of them again in the hall because of the raised voices.

“Ah, fuck this. You behave like a bunch of assholes towards Cas the entire time and now you have your panties in a twist because of a few curses? Screw you all for thinking shit without even wanting to learn the truth or get to know him.”

“Lucas, that's enough,” Dean said. “I know this isn't a situation that's comfortable for anybody, but you're not helping matters by getting verbally abusive. And Sarah, perhaps you should not just assume things without knowing what was actually happening. In fact, that might be a lesson for everyone here. And if you'll excuse me, I want to spend some time alone with Cas,” Dean grabbed his coat and laid a hand gently around Cas' hips, leading him out the door, leaving their flabbergasted relatives behind.

“Where are we going?” Cas asked.

“I don't know yet, but let's find something where we can just be ourselves for a bit, ok? I need to feel like things are normal for a while.”

“Of course, Dean. Anything for you.”


	28. Chapter 28

“So, what's the plan?“

“Nothing really, just driving until we find something to do, or maybe do nothing at all. How are you?”

“I'm fine,” Cas beamed, and a second later noticed his face falling about the obvious lie. “I'm really not though. But I'm calm, can't do anything about things I can't change. Lucas has all the rage.”

“That I noticed,” Dean chuckled. “Did he tell you he's going swimming after all?”

“Yeah, he did.”

“Sounds like a good plan.”

“Mhmm,” Cas hummed, wondering why Dean drove out of the city. “We're not gonna make out in the car, are we? It's freezing.”

“Then let's just take a walk through the snow,” Dean suggested as a way to mask that he _had_ planned on making out, but really hadn't thought it all the way through.

“I've been out in the snow for ages already, and I'm still cold.”

“So we're just gonna sit in the car like miserable bastards and stare at each other?”

“Seems like it,” Cas brooded. “I'm horny, but at the same time I feel like we shouldn't do anything with them in the house, and if we come back ruffled and gloating, they'll think their part anyway.”

“You're right. Again. This doesn't help us to feel normal, does it?”

“Not at all,” Cas shook his head. “Cinema's airing nightmare before Christmas?” he asked as in a way of trying to come up with something to do.

“Neh, too weird. Never know if to watch that while it's Halloween, or Christmas.”

“Anything from October to December goes, I'd say. Anyway, it's warm, and not that many people will watch it. We can make out there.”

“Paying a ton of bucks for a weird-ass movie, just so we can stick our tongues together?”

“Yeah...” Cas pondered. “Let's just go home?”

“Ok. I can't come up with anything good, so let's just do that. You owe me a make out session though.”

Cas pretended to take a note in his hand. “Done,” he smiled.

 

When they were back at the homefront, things didn't seem like they had improved much. Lucas, Sarah and the kids were in his room, watching Finding Nemo and Sarah jumped up when Cas came in, saying very formally: “I apologise.”

“It's ok, nothing you could know.”

“Yeah, it was just a mistake. I overreacted too, so we're watching nemo to get the little ones away from what's going on in the living room,” Lucas added.

“What _is_ going on in the living room?” Dean and Cas asked, having not heard anything as they came in.

“Shouting,” Sarah and Lucas said, each having a kid on their lap that looked up when they spoke in unison and then focusing back on their movie as Dean and Cas walked back to the living room immediately.

“I still think they shouldn't see each other anymore. This is probably just a short thing anyway and it steers up way too much trouble,” Mary was saying right now, seemingly picking up on something she had argued before and which maybe amounted to why it had been silent when they had come in, because everyone had said their part already, and now they were just repeating themselves loudly.

“And I still don't know what I should do about it,” Naomi shouted back. “I am not gonna stand in their way.”

“But you have a responsibility, and in the end it's my brother who will suffer for it,” Sam shouted back.

“SHUT UP,” Cas added to the shouting, even to his own amazement as he pushed the door to the living room open, Dean following him in and standing behind him as a steadying presence. “If you have something to say, say it to me and Dean and leave my mother alone! Everyone in here knows the risks and the limitations of this relationship. I assure you that nobody in here loves Dean more than I do and who would be hurt the most if something happened to him. In the past I have been a bit reckless with who I let in on my big secret but my best friend apart from Lucas, and my mother, have both proved worthy to keep our secret. And you can assume that since you are meeting me at a holiday, that Dean and I are pretty serious about each other and you would do well to appreciate the fact. And now,” Cas turned to Dean grabbing him by his shirt and pulled him close. “I owe you a make out session.”

And he kissed him in front of everyone, long and hard, Dean reciprocating like a man jonesing for his fix, thumbs hooking into the belt loops of Cas' jeans and his fingers creeping under his shirt until Cas' breath hitched.

“We should get the kids and watch the rest of Finding Nemo here,” Dean decreed hoarsely when they had finished, even though the boy knew that tone of voice all too well. Usually it meant that within a minute Cas would be moaning to come, but right now, Dean was only pulling Cas between his legs to cuddle up one the couch and to stretch out with their feet on the coffee table.

Mary and Sam looked as if struck by lightning, while Naomi simply smirked and said she'd make some coffee and get cookies for everyone.

By the time Henry and Blake made it to the living room, the movie had already finished, but since they were little they absolutely didn't object to watching it again.

“You should have seen them last year. Blake had this one movie he watched two times every day. He hardly understood anything of it, but he loved it,” Sarah told the room, trying to lighten the atmosphere that was so thick that it could practically be cut with a knife.

“Wanna watch boy!” Sam imitated his son after Sarah's little tale, and Blake's head turned, grinning at his father and saying: “Wanna watch boy!”

“Nooo,” Sarah and Sam groaned at the same time, happy to escape the curse of the movie and not keen on ever watching it again.

“But we're watching nemo now,” Cas told Blake. “Nemo is good, right?”

“Yeah,” the kid smiled and climbed into Cas' lap. “Nemo's good,” he yawned and tugged Cas' arms around him like a blanket.

“Isn't he cute?” Dean mumbled, ruffling through the little boy's hair. “And isn't it awesome that whenever kids are in the room, it's sort of always about them?” he whispered to Cas, who nodded a little, reaching back and planting a quick kiss to Dean's lips before turning around again.

To hell with what they thought of him, he thought, his inhibitions lowered because he had really missed kissing Dean for no reason other than to kiss him and feel the butterflies in his stomach.

“This finally feels normal, doesn't it?” Dean muttered into his ear and Cas nodded happily, trying to ignore the worried glances cast at them.

“I'm sorry, I can't pretend to be alright with this,” Sam said about 10 minutes into the movie and got up. “I'm going to sleep,” he announced, and went into the second guest room where he and Sarah slept.

“Sammy, wait,” Dean said and untangled himself from Cas. “Don't just go like that, we're all calming down now.”

“I can't. And I don't think I can stay and watch you be put in jail over this. I can't be around you as long as you're pretending to have a relationship with a kid.”

“You can't mean that.”

“I do, actually.”

“Well, tough luck. Cas isn't going anywhere. So don't make me choose between who I want to keep in my life. You're my brother, and I need you too.”

“Exactly, Dean. I'm your family and I want what's best for you. All my life you watched out for me, so let me do this for you now. This is wrong.”

“Don't say that,” Dean shook his head.

“Maybe one day, when your male Lolita adventure is far behind you, you'll understand. Or maybe you'll find someone even younger when he gets too old for you.”

“And maybe one day, _you_ will understand that that's not it.”

“We'll see. All I know is that I'm tired,” Sam said and Cas could see Dean left standing, but he didn't turn around for over a minute, probably to control his facial expression, because when he turned around his face was blank and he curled himself around Cas without another word.

When the movie was over, the little boys had fallen asleep and Cas helped Sarah to bring them to bed.

“Thank you,” she smiled, something about the misunderstanding and Lucas's following outburst had softened her attitude towards him. “You're really good with them.”

“They're great kids. You can be proud.”

“Thank you,” she said again. “And I want you to know that I don't share my husband's position in this. You seem to fight so hard to be with Dean, and you wouldn't even bother if he didn't mean a great deal to you. I still think it's a bit weird, though. After Andrea... I thought he'd find a wife to help him take care of Lucas, and not get himself into trouble. But I guess you can never really know how life turns out, right?”

“Guess you can't. Will you be alright?”

“I think so. I'm a bit mad about Sam and I think I'll make Lucas sleep on the floor mattresses so I can share the bed here with the kids. I don't want to sleep next to Sam tonight. Male Lolita,” she shook her head.

“Well, if you take away the threads and abductions of the older male, and the forcing of sexual favours and if the man wasn't a pedophile and if you'd make the Lolita a couple of years older...” Cas tried to amend Sam's statement, but he eventually failed to compare it to a Lolita situation. “Yeah, it's a crap comparison,” he finally conceded.

“And it's not fair to say it like that.”

“No, it's not. But anyway, we all need sleep. Good night.”

“Good night, Cas,” she smiled.

“One down, two to go,” he mumbled when he closed the door and went into Dean's bedroom where he found the man in question brooding and staring at the ceiling with his arms crossed.

“Hello, Dean,” he said, and climbed onto him immediately.

“Hey,” Dean smiled vaguely, the fight with his brother still in his thoughts apparently.

“Do you want me to take your mind of it?” Cas asked, reaching down and cupping Dean's cock.

“Didn't you say it would feel weird to do this while they're in the house?” Dean asked disinterestedly, and tried to pry the boy's fingers away from his crotch.

“I don't mind because I feel that's what you need right now. And I know how I love having your cock in my mouth,” he moaned seductively, popping Dean's button and working the zipper down.

“Please don't. I'm not in the mood.”

“Ok,” Cas stopped his movement and climbed off Dean, throwing on pajamas and then slipping underneath the covers.

“This was the worst Christmas ever,” Dean brooded over the last couple of days.

“Well, the presents were good. I can't wait to try that p-spot vibrator you got me or-”

“Can't you think of anything but sex?” Dean asked sharply.

“Just making conversation,” Cas quipped and then turned his back, flicking his nightstand lamp off.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like an asshole,” Dean came closer and wanted to snuggle Cas, pressing his face to the boy's shoulder but Cas shrugged him off.

“It's alright,” he said shortly, but he was glad to be going to the competition tomorrow.

 

“You all ready to go?” Naomi asked early in the morning, Lucas and Cas checking their bags once more and nodding. “Great. Then let's hit the road.”

She grabbed her purse and keys and they were out of the door before anyone else even got up.

“Damn it, I left my phone,” she said when they were two blocks over and she ruffled through her purse in search of it while she checked how much money she still had and if they could get breakfast to go without having to stop at an ATM first.

“Doesn't matter. You don't need it. We have ours in case anything happens,” Cas told her. A good thing about being a teenager these days was that you never left your home without your smartphone, he thought. His mom still belonged to the generation that didn't immediately think about taking their phones everywhere because they had lived without them for more time of their life.

“And when cell phones started happening, you only had them in your bag and checked them once every few hours at best,” she told them. “Not every few minutes, like you kids these days.”

“Alright then, I can bet I won't check my phone for an entire day,” Lucas said.

“Me too, I'm betting as well.”

“Great, hand them over then.”

“What?” Lucas asked tonelessly.

“If you're so sure about this, then you won't need them today. And not go into the changing rooms to check them after each competition.”

“Fine by me,” Cas shrugged.

“You're gonna lose, bro.”

“Won't.”

“Will too.”

“And I guess we're gonna stay at a motel or something because this tournament is too long to drive back with two cranky, tired teenagers in my car. Not going to happen. And I'll treat you two to dinner, where you're for once are actually gonna talk to me and not flick the screen of your phones on every two minutes,” Naomi beamed.

“Hey, that's not true", they chuckled.

“It is too. I timed it once and you didn't even notice.”

They told jokes and funny stories all the way there, but in the end could not help feel as though something ominous was gonna happen when Naomi cleared her throat and opened her purse for them to put their phones in it.

“But you're still allowed to check them.”

“Right and if something important is up, I'll give them back,” she nodded about the agreement.

“And you're still gonna lose,” Cas nudged Lucas as they went into the changing rooms to get ready. This day, the tournament and the bet ought to be a piece of cake compared to what had been going on before this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Ominous whisper* Very curious how stuff always happens when you've switched off your phone, or handed it over to win a bet, isn't it?


	29. Chapter 29

The competitiveness of the boys led them to race each other in every discipline they both started at, and made them leave the other contestants far behind themselves. Sometimes Cas came first, sometimes Lucas. There was no cause for jealousy and Naomi cheered for both of them equally loudly.

“Did you see us, mom?” Cas ran over to her by the end, nearly slipping.

“Careful, Castiel. Don't make me whack you in the head. No running by the pool. That goes for you too, young man,” she added when Lucas came up too quickly in his winning exuberance.

“Yes, ma'am,” Lucas saluted her.

“Lemme take a picture for Dean. C'mon, scoot up closer,” she motioned and pulled Cas' phone out of her purse. “Smile, boys.”

They waited for her to take three pictures, not daring to loosen their winning grin to tell her that she could just check if the picture had come out alright and let her take three in a row to have one come out ok.

“Great. I'm so proud of you,” she grinned and put the phone back at once to pull both boys into a hug, not minding their protests that they were getting her dress all wet. “Wash up and then dinner. You must be starving,” she announced when she had hugged them enough.

“Check our phones though,” Cas reminded her. “You put them away without checking all the little icons at the top and you need to send the picture to Dean. You just took it and then you need-”

“Thank you, Mr. Phone Expert,” she smiled. “I do know how to operate these things. Now get under the shower before I push you.”

“Wouldn't that be the same as running by the pool?” Cas asked with a cheeky grin.

“Get outta here,” Naomi waved him off, rummaging around and flicking a random phone on.

“We were so good, man,” Lucas beamed when Cas joined him in the next cubicle, scrubbing the chlorine water off his body and wishing it were Dean's hands rubbing him as he highfived Lucas with a soapy hand. The half-high walls inbetween shower stalls made for the neighbouring showerers not being able to take a peek at you, but Cas always felt a little uncomfortable because of the person across from him only needed to turn around to see his naked ass, and ever since he had Dean had gotten together, the feeling had even gotten worse. He didn't want other people to stare at what belonged only to Dean.

“They're not real happy with us, right?” Lucas leaned over conspiratorially about all the dejected looking boys around them that cast sour glances their way while they lathered up. Cas looked around, and his suspicion had come true. Everyone kept staring at them and they even formed little groups to whisper and gape at them from time to time.

“I don't feel comfortable in here,” Cas whispered.

“I agree, too many bad vibes,” Lucas mumbled, turning off the shower head and instead of wrapping the towel around his hips like he usually would, he just dried his hair, swinging his hips as he went back into the changing rooms.

“See something you like swinging your way?” he grinned as he passed the biggest gaggle of boys frowning at him.

Cas snorted about Lucas' daring and about how much the slighted boys blushed at being caught staring, but unlike his friend, he did wrap himself up.

“No one but you and me ever lays a hand on these,” he heard Dean's voice in his head, and saw him looking up from where he was fondling his balls.

“And no one sucks them but you,” Cas had moaned back at him when that was what Dean did next.

Cas shook himself, an inappropriate boner the last thing he needed.

“C'mon man, I'm starvin',” Lucas groaned, holding his grumbling belly after what must have been the world's fastest change of clothes.

“Alright, alright. I'm coming,” Cas dressed quickly and together, they bustled out to meet his mom who was standing like they left her, frowning onto what looked like Lucas' phone, Cas' on her ear.

“Right, I understand. We'll be on our way as soon as we can.”

“Mom?” Cas asked, her whole expression telling him that something was completely wrong.

“Boys, we have to get back immediately.”

“But what about dinner?” Lucas asked.

“We'll have to get something at the hospital.”

“Hospital?” Cas echoed hollow.

“Yes. Something has happened,” she swallowed, putting the cellphones back into her pocket and reaching out to them.

They both took one of her hands and waited until she could carry on.

“It's Dean. He's uh...” she couldn't continue, tears rising in her eyes and she sniffed once.

“He's what?” Cas said, his voice again hollow and lifeless. He was numb, everything around him seemed to vanish and nothing but Naomi's and Lucas' hand which had somehow found it's way to his too, held him.

“He's had an accident. Apparently, he and his brother had an argument, and they ended up hitting each other,” her breath went ragged. “During that time, Sam must have shoved him pretty hard so that he fell back and hit his head. He's been unconscious for too long and so they called an ambulance, and the doctors are running all kinds of tests at the moment. They don't know anything yet.”

“We have to go,” Lucas whispered.

“Yes,” Naomi nodded, both of them pulling at Cas, who didn't seem to have control of his feet, and the ride back to Lawrence was mostly lost on him after that.

Nobody spoke, nobody said to put the radio on, and Naomi could barely keep herself from speeding as they raced back, screeching to a halt in front of the hospital, Cas running after Lucas before she had even found a parking spot.

“Hey, I'm looking for my dad. He's here, he's unconscious, he's-”

“Slow down, young man,” the nurse at the station told him. “I'm gonna need a name.”

“Dean Winchester,” Cas whispered.

“Ok, I'm checking. Room 204. It's this way,” she shouted when Lucas sprinted off, pulling Cas with him, and running along with a shouted 'thank you' when he turned into the other direction.

They just ran and ran before they found another nurse's station and Mary, obviously filling out forms.

“Gran!” Lucas shouted. “Where is he? Where's dad?”

“They just brought him in from a cat scan.”

“Is he conscious?”

“No,” she hiccuped.

“Right. C'mon, Cas,” Lucas pulled him along, Cas nodding, grateful for the helping hand.

“It's just family at the moment,” Mary called after them and Lucas stopped dead, turning to her furiously.

“Then I wonder why _you're_ outside, and we're going in.”

“C'mon,” Cas finally found his voice, pulling Lucas along who held open the door to the ward for Naomi sprinting down the hall and ignoring Mary completely.

“You hear anything?” she shouted, even as she ran.

“No, not yet,” the boys moved in, seeing the door with a red 204 on it and Sarah coming out of it with a stoic face, Henry and Blake crying next to her.

“What? What happened? Is he?”

“No, god no. They just weren't prepared for their uncle to lie there like that. I'm taking them outside. You can go in.”

They nodded, heading for the door when next to them, Sam Winchester came out, his face, even though evidently already treated, looked completely wrecked. He had a black eye forming and shiners on both cheeks among various spots that were for sure gonna be black bruises tomorrow.

He didn't know what caused it, but within a second, Cas was storming at him, Lucas only a step behind him and punched their fists into every bit of Sam they could reach for a few seconds, until Naomi pulled them off.

“Boys, stop it,” she yelled and they stopped immediately, their chests heaving as they looked at her.

“This is how you do it,” she said and punched Sam square in the face, who didn't seem to have expected the blow at all so that his head flew back and he landed hard on the floor, grunting and holding his nose.

“You can take him right back and fix that up too,” Naomi fumed, and when she turned to Cas and Lucas next, they flinched a little, but she only said: “Let's go see him.”

“Only one visitor at a time,” the nurse inside Dean's room told them when they had taken the first look inside.

“But my aunt was in here with my cousins,” Lucas complained.

“They are small and it wasn't good for them at all, so we put up that rule until he wakes up.”

“Right,” Naomi took charge, while Cas was only staring at the unconscious Dean and taking him outside. “You sit with him for a while, Lucas. Cas is in shock.”

Cas _felt_ like he was in shock too. He couldn't speak, couldn't move unless someone pulled him or as his mother did, let him sit in a chair, and pressed a hot cup of tea into his hands. He hadn't even noticed that she wasn't by his side while she got it.

The only thing he saw was Dean's bashed up face that didn't look much worse than Sam's, but it was the way he lay there that did it. Dean never slept on his back and to see him with closed eyes, all sorts of cables connecting him to monitors were grim reminders of Dean's unsure state of health.

“Drink that,” Naomi commanded, rubbing his back while Cas quietly sipped his tea and tried to calm his nerves. By the time he was finished, Lucas had come out of Dean's room and by the looks of his eyes, he had cried.

Cas got up wobbly, but got steadier the closer to Dean's room he got.

He opened the door and slipped in.

The second impression of him lying in his hospital bed completely still wasn't much better, and he felt tears stinging in his eyes as the nurse prepared to exit the room for a while, he leaned down and whispered: “Hello, Dean,” into the unconscious man's ear.

A machine next to Cas' head started beeping rapidly.

“What did I do? Did I kill him? Will he die?” he asked the nurse panicky, clutching Dean's hand as if he could make him stay alive that way.

“No, he won't die. That scanner is for brain activity and he reacted to your voice immediately. You should keep talking to him.”

“Dean, hey. Wake up.”

He felt Dean's hand twitch in his, his lids fluttering and a humming sound escaping him.

“What did you say?” Cas leaned over.

“Ouch,” Dean rasped out a hoarse whisper.

“Did you hear that? He spoke!” Cas told the nurse.

“Loud,” Dean muttered.

“What? What did you say?”

“You're loud, Cas,” Dean said more clearly, opening his eyes and trying to smile even though it looked painful to watch alone.

“Don't just stand there, get a doctor!” Cas shouted.

“Too loud,” Dean complained, his eyes closing as if that could help lower the volume of Cas' voice.

“Sorry, so sorry. But I had to send her away, I can't kiss you while she's here. I can, can't I? It won't hurt you too much?”

“Pain is part of life,” Dean mumbled, and Cas leaned over him with a sob, gently placing his lips on the older man's, slow pushes against his plush lips, before he pulled away to wipe his eyes and let his shoulders heave from quiet, relieved sobs.

“Call that a kiss, boy? I thought I'd taught you better,” Dean chuckled.

“Shut up,” Cas nearly whimpered and kissed Dean again, his heart hurting when Dean tried to grab him by the hair and his hands loosened their grip after a few seconds because it was too exhausting for him.

“What happened?” Cas asked quietly.

“Hit my head,” Dean gave back.

“Yeah, I got that. And I also got that you and Sam beat each other up. But why?”

“You,” Cas groaned.

“What? That's hardly a new argument, why did that happen now?” he gestured to Dean's head.

“Because I didn't know where you were this morning.”

“At the swimming competition.”

“You were there?”

“Yes?” Cas asked incredulously.

“Oh, of course. Shoulda known,” Dean rasped and it sounded so painful that Cas nearly yelled for a nurse or anyone to help ease Dean's pain.

“I didn't tell you, did I?” Cas asked and felt guilty for assuming Dean knew he'd be joining Lucas. “But why did you fight over me being away?”

“I was worried you'd be some place bad, you know, because it's all too much right now. Hey, I called you a thousand times...” he tried to get up, old traces of the crushing feeling of not knowing for hours where Cas was, echoing on his face before he laid down again, with a pained grunt. Apparently it was too early to sit up.

“Mom had my phone, and I was competing.”

“Shit,” Dean cursed. “Well anyway. Sam thought, because neither you nor your mom or Lucas were there that you had left me and Lucas had known about it so he wouldn't show his face until I learned the truth and that Naomi was finding someone else to latch onto.”

“What?” Cas asked, anger burning in his stomach now. “I should have hit that assbutt harder,” he fumed.

“You hit Sam?”

“Yeah, me and Lucas. And mom bashed his nose in, probably, so we all got our revenge without even knowing what he said.”

Dean laughed hoarsely but stopped soon, because it moved his aching head too much.

“So when I yelled at him that you would not just leave like that, and he said you would, we both got angry. Hotheads. From dad's side, you know? Yeah, he started throwing punches, and then I tripped over something, probably a toy truck from Henry and next thing I know, I hear your voice and wake up in this hellhole.”

“It's a hospital, not hell,” Cas gently corrected him.

“Speak for yourself. You're able to leave, I probably need to stay here overnight at least.”

“What makes you think I'll leave before you do?”

“Common sense,” Dean evidently tried rolling his eyes, but again stopped too soon, huffing out a long streak of air. “You need sleep... and food,” he added when Cas' stomach audibly growled.

“I am not leaving you,” Cas said with a steely undertone. “I can't sleep in your bed without you.”

“It's your bed too, now.”

“Regardless,” Cas, who _wasn't_ injured, rolled his eyes without stinging pains in his head. “I'm staying.”

“I can't talk you out of it?”

“Not a chance.”

When Cas finished speaking, the door finally opened to reveal a doctor and the nurse that had been in here before come in and the rest of the family sticking their heads in through the door.

“Hello,” the doctor checked his chart. “How fortunate that you woke up. How long as he been unconscious?”

“For a while,” the nurse answered. “He's been here for approximately two hours and this is the first time he's woken up for a longer amount of time, although he's been in and out of consciousness a few times.”

“We should keep you in and await the result of all your tests. A concussion is already affirmed but we should just ask a couple of routine questions. Your name?”

“Dean Winchester.”

“Birthday?”

“January, 24th.”

“Day of the week?”

“Wednesday.”

“Great,” the doctor scribbled a note onto the chart.

“Hey, doc. Do I really have to stay here? I mean look at all the people waiting out there. They can all watch over me at home,” Dean nodded to his family still leaning in with pale faces.

“I would not advise it,” the doctor started but Dean kept going.

“If I manage to stay awake for a while, and promise to have them take me in again if anything happens, can I go then?”

“With great reservation,” was the sighed answer. “If you don't lose consciousness again during the next hour,” he set off to explain what measures should be taken if Dean really went home and that he needed absolute relaxation.

“Got it,” Dean smiled valiantly, pretending not to look hurt because of doing that as the doctor and the nurse left the room, everyone else trailing in shyly now that he was awake and the one visitor only rule wasn't in place anymore.

“Don't do this, Dean. It's better if you stay here,” Cas mumbled, still holding Dean's hand.

“No, it's not. I wanna sleep in my own bed and have you waking me up every two hours with your grumpy, sleepy face. I want to see that. And at least we can both sleep for a bit. If we'd stay here, you wouldn't get any sleep at all. And this way, I don't have to stay imprisoned here. We both win.”

“If you say it like that,” Cas smiled, cuddling up onto Dean's chest and listening to his heartbeat for the entire time he talked to the others and showed them that he could stay awake.

“Alright, then. You won,” the doctor filed Dean's discharge but he insisted on putting him into a wheelchair for the journey to the parking lot.

“This is stupid,” Dean grumbled as Lucas wheeled him out.

“Shut up, dad. This is awesome,” Lucas chuckled about the continuous squeaking of the wheels on the linoleum of the hospital floor.

The drive home was quiet, Dean nearly closing his eyes in the front seat of Naomi's car while Cas didn't keep his eyes off him in the darkness.

They helped him into the house and Cas helped him into pajamas, helping him to lie down so gently that Dean huffed about his expression.

“I'm not made of glass,” he grumbled.

“Shut up,” Cas said affectionately. “Sleep. I'll wake you in two hours, but right now, I gotta find something to eat. I'm starving.”

“Yeah, go. Hey,” he held onto Cas when he wanted to go. “I knew you wouldn't leave me.”

“Never,” Cas nodded, giving Dean a quick kiss, but stopping when Mary came into the room.

“I can watch over him for a bit,” she said quietly.

“Great,” Cas said shortly and went through to the kitchen where Lucas sat at the table, sniffing a little and rubbing over his eyes while the best sight he could think of greeted him. His mom throwing pasta into cooking water.

She told them to watch over it and get some cheese or anything quick they wanted to put onto their food, while she went into the den to finally retrieve her own phone.

Cas and Lucas forked two plates of food into themselves hurriedly, before they both went down the hall again to check up on Dean.

“Is he ok?” Lucas asked.

“He went to sleep about 10 minutes ago,” Mary whispered. “So you'll wake him at midnight?” she asked Cas.

“I will,” he nodded, putting alarms up for every two hours in his phone when Naomi came into the room.

“Castiel? I have some more news for you.”

“What is it?”

“It's your dad. He's being delivered to the hospital, of all places. They called me because I'm still his in case of emergency contact.”

“Anything serious?” he asked, and wondered if this day had still managed to turn more shitty when it was almost over.

“Alcohol poisoning. Do you want to...”

“No, I'll stay here. Dean is more important. And you shouldn't go there either, not right now. You look exhausted, mom.”

If Cas wasn't much mistaken, it seemed like Mary finally really looked at him when she quietly left the room once he finished speaking.

“You're right. I gave them enough info for the moment anyway. The rest I can do in the morning,” Naomi said, sighing heavily as she turned around and went to bed, while Cas watched over the man he loved for the rest of the night.


	30. Chapter 30

“Hey, you. Wake up,” Cas shook Dean awake, pretty hazy himself.

“Yeah,” Dean rasped, tugging Cas underneath his arm roughly. “I'm Dean Winchester, I'm an Aquarius and you are the most annoying person in the world for waking me up all the time.”

“I love you too,” Cas hummed, already going back to sleep and straddling Dean's waist before he went under again.

“Hmm, you should really move that,” Dean hummed into his ear, thumbing over Cas' dented shorts. 

“What if I don't want to? What if I like my cock exactly where it is?” he rubbed against Dean harder, breath going ragged after a bit.

“Are you humping me?”

“Mhmm, yes,” Cas moaned.

“Cas, get up!” a voice echoed in his head, louder than the seductive rasp of Dean's voice before.

“What, what?” his head shot up, bleary eyed he looked around. 

“You gotta move your leg,” Dean groaned, short of breath, and Cas found that he was straddling Dean, but the rest had been just a dream.

“You look spooked, baby,” Dean chuckled as Cas untangled himself from the older man.

“That's because I just had a motherfucking sex dream about you,” Cas grumbled, hissing when he lifted his shorts off his body and showed Dean his painfully hard cock. “See?”

“Sorry to wake you before you creamed them, but you were right across my bladder and I gotta pee like crazy.”

“Ok, wait. I'll help you,” Cas jumped up hastily, taking up one of Dean's arms and laying it around his shoulders as the older man got up.

“I'm not a fucking invalid,” Dean grumbled when Cas helped him the five steps to the bathroom.

“Your recent stay at the local hospital tells a different story,” Cas reminded him.

“Well, will you leave then? I can hold my own,” Dean frowned at him.

“No, I'll stay.”

“You're not secretly into watersports, are you?”

“Um... huh?” Cas asked, distracted by Dean pulling out his dick that was slightly swollen from how badly he needed to pee, and he felt his mouth water.

“You're not into stuff with uh...,” Dean hemmed and hawed.

“Oh no. Not at all. It's just so distracting,” Cas licked his lips but looked away when Dean started relieving himself; that was really something he wasn't into. But at the same time he got a tingling feeling of the level of intimacy between them still going one up by being able to share bathroom times like these. But when he thought about doing a number two, his head shook involuntarily.

“What are you thinking about?” Dean asked, the sounds coming from the toilet telling Cas that the older man's bladder had to have been really full, but he loved the fact that Dean held onto him to keep steady without trying to pretend he didn't need it.

“I'm just thinking that I love being comfortable with you, but that bathroom time should have limits.”

“Oh you mean... ? Yeah, I totally share that opinion. And it's not as if this is gonna be a regular thing either,” Dean's body kind of shook beside him, and Cas' hands were on him immediately, but then he saw that Dean only shook off and tugged himself back in.

“Bad idea, baby boy,” he said when he saw Cas staring longingly at his now hidden cock.

“Why? It's good for headaches, isn't it?” Cas blinked innocently, helping Dean to the sink and out of the room to the gurgling background noise of the toilet flushing.

“But not good for concussions,” Dean sighed when Cas helped him lie down again, just as gently as in the evening. “Brain needs rest. And an increase of the heart rate or stimulation of the brain could do more bad than good. So, keep those pretty lips to yourself for a bit,” he thumped over Cas' mouth, prodding it open and circling with three fingers around it, Cas trailing after with sighed moans and little licks of his tongue.

“Fuck baby. How horny are you?”

“Very,” Cas' voice grated low and passionately. “The sex dream wasn't the only thing. Yesterday, I thought about you sucking my balls while I was showering. And I keep thinking about our perfect night before the holidays.”

“Night of legends,” Dean chuckled, taking his hand down. “Why don't you get us some breakfast and afterwards, you'll tell me everything we did and you use your present on you.”

“Won't that arouse you too much?” Cas asked, genuinely concerned now that Dean had mentioned that it wasn't good to have sex while also having a concussion.

“I'll do it for you, and if you don't come near me while you do it, I can cope. But you're climbing the walls, Cas. You need an orgasm or two.”

“Don't I know it,” Cas sighed, hiding his face, feeling his whole body hum from unreleased sexual energy.

“It's been over a week,” he mumbled into the pillow. 

“Yeah, ages for a boy who's used to having regular sex ever since he started having some,” Dean consoled him, rubbing his shoulders when there was a tentative knock on the door.

“May I come in?” Mary asked.

“Yeah sure, mom,” Dean announced, not letting himself be disturbed in rubbing Cas' back.

“I'll start on breakfast,” Cas got up, taking an appraising look at Dean as if he wasn't sure if he'd live until he came back.

“I promise not to lose consciousness again,” Dean crossed his heart, and Cas chuckled deeply, kissing him quickly and then leaving him alone with his mom for a bit.

“Morning,” he greeted when he found Lucas and Sam staring at each other across the kitchen table.

“Mornin',” Lucas echoed and Sam nodded. It satisfied Cas' vindictiveness immensely that Sam was looking wrecked. Dean's face was also an assembly of black and blue today, but Sam's face, probably also with the help of Naomi's upper cut had been improved much more. Dark shadows lay underneath Sam's eyes as if he hadn't slept for a week, but it only showed where the bruises formed from his mom's blow. 

“Well, can't say you don't deserve it,” Cas found himself saying loudly, even to his own astonishment as he popped some slices in the toaster and searched the fridge for some eggs to scramble.

“Yeah, I did,” Sam groaned.

“Yep,” Lucas quipped. Obviously he had said the very same thing to his uncle before Cas came in. “On second thought, I'll eat this in my room. How is he, by the way?”

“He's good,” Cas said tiredly, getting up every two hours even if they weren't awake for long had exhausted him, rather than giving him new energy. “Your gran is with him at the moment, but I'm sure he'd like to see you too. Don't give him your food though, he can wait until I'm done. Otherwise you'll have to come back and he'll still eat a portion of this.”

“Yeah, that sounds like him,” Lucas chuckled and Cas joined in. They stopped when they heard another laugh joining theirs and stared daggers at Sam.

“Sorry,” Sam mumbled, staring into his cereal.

Lucas left without another word, and Cas did the eggs without once turning around, not even when Sam handed him the plate he had set aside for the eggs and told him that his mom had left for the hospital to check up on Chuck.

“Thanks,” Cas quipped, still not looking at Sam.

“Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot, but can I say that-”

“No, you can not fucking say anything!” Cas fumed, the hot pan in his hand now and he actively thought about bashing Sam's head in with it. “Don't dare to start saying that we got off on the wrong foot or anything like that. You insulted me, my mother, who has absolutely nothing to do with this, and you got your brother, the man I love, into the hospital because of nothing but stupidity. So no, we will not have a reconciling breakfast moment and if you dare go anywhere near Dean until he says he wants to see you, I will literally smite you!” 

“I can't even begin to say how sorry I am for what happened-”

“Great, then don't even start,” Cas bit out, going back to the fridge and cutting up some fruits next, because Dean would damn well get some vitamins into his system this morning, no matter how much he complained.

“I'm just worried.”

“Okay,” Cas said, too calm now that he had set the pan aside and was handling a cutting knife instead. “About what could you possibly be worried?”

“About my brother being a pedophile.”

“A pedophile,” Cas was so astounded that he stopped being angry for a second. “Why do you think so?”

“Because of you,” Sam gave back. “How long has it really been going on? Did he touch you inappropriately when you were little, do you feel compelled to do this? Is he gonna do this to another kid as well?”

“That's what you think this is?” Cas sighed heavily. “Perhaps it would have been better to listen before you assume stuff like that. Ever think of that? It's not a sickness that your brother has, it's a fetish. I don't know how well up you are on gay fetishes, but believe me that many people enjoy age differences. Maybe not as big as ours is, but in the end, I am to blame. I seduced Dean into having me a bit over four months ago, and he was finally getting to do all the things he only dreamt of doing with another guy until now. He loves me, and I love him. It's got nothing to do with the fact that this is technically illegal, that's not giving him a kick or anything. The things we do together are what is essential here.”

Sam nodded, trying to smile shortly, but had to sit down heavily, his head between his knees and breathing in deeply.

Cas came over, checking his pulse and asked: “Are you alright?”

“Just give me a sec,” Sam wheezed, his voice so muffled and relieved that Cas was sure he was crying.

While he calmed down, Cas went to finish breakfast.

“I've been an idiot,” Sam groaned when Cas was already taking up a tray to return to Dean.

“Yes,” Cas said simply. “But you were worried. If Dean really had been a pedophile your actions would have been honourable. But you should have just talked and not acted to rashly.”

“And what would have happened if you'd really have been a victim here? Would I have gotten a truthful account of what happened?”

“Yeah, probably not,” Cas admitted. “But what convinced you now that I'm not a victim just saying what I was told to say my my molester?” 

“I honestly don't know, but perhaps it's the fact that I was sure I had killed my brother when he fell back and didn't get up again. It kinda makes you see a lot of things. The fact that he was only scared of what our refusal to accept you could do to you, and that he wanted you to be safe, the fact that he woke up when you were with him, something that hadn't happened with anyone before. The fact that you'd rather kill me than let me get close to him now, it all seems genuine.”

“And the fact that I said that it wasn't going on for as long as you feared it,” Cas pondered, really letting Sam's fears and worries ever since he'd learned about what was going on in here, sink in. “That must have been incredibly hard for you. Thinking your brother had urges he couldn't control, maybe even why he... wait, how far did you think? Did you think he did things to Lucas? Or that your kids where in danger? That mom was an enabler, whoring me out for food an shelter? Fuck, that's exactly what you thought, right?”

“Feared is more like it, but yes,” Sam hid his face. “I was coming up with horror scenario after horror scenario, and when you weren't here anymore and Dean sounded so sure that you'd never leave him, it sounded so wrong that I lost it. And you know the rest.”

“I don't know what to say now,” Cas replied. “I only know that these eggs are gonna go all leathery and cold if I stand here much longer. Can we talk about this more when I've had time to think about it?”

“Of course, and even though it may not mean much to you, I am very sorry about what happened and about the things I said.”

Cas only nodded and finally he could go and eat breakfast with Dean while Mary fussed over her oldest son constantly. It wasn't the breakfast Cas had wanted, but he got to feed Dean fruit salad without many objections and with just one eyeroll before the first bite and so he considered that a big win.

“I can sit here a while longer, if you need sleep. You look exhausted, C-Cas,” Mary spoke to him. “When they were little, they used to wreck their brains with concussions from time to time and I know what it does to a person to get up every two hours and see if they're still alive and still have at least an excuse of their five senses about each other.”

“Hey, that's not fair. We were amazing kids,” Dean chuckled.

“Mhmm, amazing at making my life hell,” Mary rolled her eyes.

“I'd love to hear some stories,” Cas smiled.

“She's got noth-” Dean started but Cas held his mouth shut so Dean gaped at him incredulously when Cas didn't remove his hand and only kissed his cheek. 

“Shut up, Dean. I don't believe you,” he grinned and then turned to Mary, who was nearly toppling over with laughter.

“He's got you hooked, son,” she pressed out when Dean mumbled into Cas' hand, his whole face a mask of incredulity and Cas knew he'd just earned a punishment that would lead to amazing sex once the older man had recovered enough, when Cas' own mom entered the room, her face not fitting with the laughing and downright comical faces in here.

“Hey mom,” Cas grinned but felt his expression falter when Naomi didn't smile back at him.

“Hello, Castiel,” she said, her chest heaving a bit and her long, brown hair looking ruffled. “I've just come from the hospital. Your father died tonight,” she added lifelessly.

Cas let his hand sink from Dean's mouth while his mom spoke.

“They got him to the hospital, but he was too far gone to save him. His alcohol level was 4,3 per mill. They said,” she swallowed heavily and started again. “They uh... said that a lot of drunks who live on their own overdo it at this time of the year. And since he just lost his family... us... it seemed like he was highly endangered to do something like this. We couldn't even have said goodbye, because he never regained consciousness while they were bringing him in. The only reason he was,” she swallowed again, “found alive... was because his landlady heard something fall over in his apartment and checked on him. I saw him at the m-morgue. Turns out I'll never be a divorcee, instead I'm a w-widow,” she slapped her hands in front of her mouth and Cas wanted to get up, hold her, but Mary was faster in helping her to stay on her feet.

“What do you need?”

“I need to be alone, I think. Castiel? Will you be alright if I go lie down now?”

“Sure, mom. Whatever you need. Just take your time.”

“I'll help her,” Mary nodded at them and escorted Naomi out.

“Cas?” Dean asked tentatively.

“Yes?” Cas turned round, a small smile on his face.

“What is going on in there right now?” Dean poked his forehead.

“Nothing really, I'm a bit numb right now. Can we postpone my retelling of our perfect night?”

“Of course, baby.”

“Good, because I am rather tired after all,” Cas rolled himself together, staring into the distance and marvelled at the fact that he wasn't feeling anything at all right now. Dean's body pressed against his didn't arouse him, nor did he feel warm and tingly when he felt Dean play with tufts of his hair, nor did he feel anything else. He was glad to have already finished breakfast, because his stomach seemed to have been muted as well. It was as if he was living in a complete void.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More heaviness and I shudder to think for how long there hasn't been any smut in here, but rest assured, all that it about to change soonish.


	31. Chapter 31

“Has he talked at all?” Cas heard whispered voices when it was high time for dinner.

“Not a word,” Dean shook his head.

They were laying on the couch together, Cas with closed eyes and pretending to be asleep.

In the morning, they had helped Dean out of the bedroom and put him up on the couch, Cas having taken the opportunity to curl up next to him and that had basically been it for the day. Dean rested his aching head and Cas nursed his numbness.

Naomi had only been out of her room for meals and now that she came down to help with dinner preparations, she sat with them and Mary. She looked wrecked, blotched face and red-rimmed eyes. Despite how everything had ended with Chuck, he had still been part of her for more than half her life and she couldn't hide her misery about his death.

“I haven't the faintest clue on what to do next,” she groaned out and sat down into an armchair with too much force so that she nearly knocked all the air out of herself.

“I can help you,” Mary smiled at her from across the room, while Dean (and secretly Cas as well) was listening. “Make arrangements, decide what you want to do with um... the body.”

“Oh, he's gonna be cremated.”

“That's good,” Mary smiled again, her eyes growing wide when she realised what she had just said. “I mean that um... leaves you with a few less problems like gravestones or a burial ground. If you wanna scatter... um...”

“Yeah,” Naomi nodded. “I'm gonna do that. And shit,” she cursed, but still checked if Henry and Blake were out of the room. “I need to call the family.”

“We could do that, if you want. You don't look like you're up to much and I wouldn't mind,” Mary offered, but Naomi shook her head.

“I have to do this myself, but thank you for offering. It's not that many anyway, he didn't have any friends and only some rather distant relations. Oh and uncle Crowley of course.”

“Uncle Crowley?” Cas' head peeked up, his voice sounding rusty from disuse and he totally forgot he had pretended to sleep in favour of asking about his favourite relative.

“Yeah, honey. You remember him, right?”

“Of course. He always tells dirty jokes and looks really funny when he's angry,” he told Dean and Mary, while the grin on Cas' face seemed to surprise everyone. “I miss that old guy. Hey, didn't he marry or something?”

“Yeah, he did. I'm sure he'll bring Bobby with him. Shit,” Naomi cursed again. “We have nowhere to put them up.”

“What about the old house? It's not sold yet, right? And there are two queen-sized beds in there, that's all we can offer for out-of-towners,” Cas shrugged, lying back down and playing with the tips of Dean's fingers absentmindedly.

“Bobby... Bobby...” Mary pondered. “Wait. Dean?”

“Huh?” Dean asked a little stupidly at him being asked about stuff right now while he was watching the boy next to him play over their fingers.

“Didn't Bobby Singer marry a guy named Crowley recently?”

“As a matter of fact, he did,” Dean nodded, something clicking in his head. “What a small world. Our families are basically related already.”

“Bobby is not a relative,” Mary shook her head with a smile.

“Not by blood,” Dean corrected.

“Yeah, you're right,” Mary conceded. “And if you wouldn't mind,” she looked at Naomi now, “I would just invite myself and my whole family to the funeral service as well.”

“That's really not necessary, you didn't even know Chuck.”

“That's what family is for though. Being by your side at difficult times.”

Cas couldn't help it. He started laughing hysterically, his whole body shaking after about a minute and then he had to sit up, coughing hoarsely rather than actually laughing.

It shouldn't have sounded as ridiculous as it it, and more like an olive branch and a sign that they were welcome now, but Cas just couldn't help but remind himself of all the sly looks he had gotten, or the insults thrown his or his mom's way. So he laughed and couldn't stop until he walked out of the room and locked himself in the dark study for an hour, staring at the walls once the insane giggles stopped and he just brooded until he heard someone at the door.

“Cas?” a gentle voice swept through it and raised him from his stupor.

“What are you doing up?” Cas sprung up and unlocked the door, frowning at Dean accusatory.

“I'm alright, mostly. Anyway, I'm not dizzy and dinner is waiting. Come on out.”

“Not hungry,” Cas shook his head.

“Not even if I feed you?”

“No.”

“Let you sit on my lap and grope you everywhere to make the relatives uncomfortable?”

“No,” Cas started smiling though.

“Please?”

“That's the first time you used that word with me. Usually I'm the one begging and pleading.”

“And that's how we like it,” Dean chuckled, laying their foreheads together to repeat his plea. “C'mon Cas. Lemme take care of you, like you take care of me.”

“Ok,” Cas sighed, taking the older man's hand and letting himself be fed a couple of bites until Dean was exhausted and Cas had to take over the feeding again.

“You two make me sick,” Lucas chuckled.

“Lucas,” Mary said sharply.

“What? Nobody wants to talk about everything that's happened,” he looked at Sam, Naomi, Dean and Cas. “So I'm just making conversation.”

An awkward silence followed his words, during which he speared a broccoli as if it was responsible for the tension and downcast mood of the dinner assembly.

Cas shrugged it off, feeding Dean more mashed potatoes, kissing some off his lips and Dean leaned into the kiss with a barely audible moan.

“Yeah, you're right. They're gross,” Naomi burst out laughing.

A childish urge rose in Cas to just shout out 'jealous' but he bit his tongue at the very last moment. It wasn't good to talk to his mom like that, not just now. And Lucas, well, he sure wasn't jealous of their intimate way of eating, but probably really did think that it was gross.

Cas felt the laughter rising again, but this time around he controlled the urge, and instead just burrowed his head into Dean's chest while waiting for the others to finish eating.

Slowly but surely, Cas felt feelings return to him, not the ones he'd expect to feel, no pain or sadness at the passing of his father, but just love and affection for the man on whose lap he sat.

“I think you are well enough recovered not to need waking up during the night,” Mary looked at her son quizzically.

“Yeah, I think so too. Just two more days of rest and the concussion should be gone and I right as rain,” Dean grinned, and Cas was pleased to find that Dean didn't stop too soon anymore, although the bruises and swollen parts of his face still looked pretty painful.

“You wanna go to bed?” Cas asked, nuzzling and blinking up in what he hoped was an innocent enough look so that no one suspected him of wanting to do something unspeakable with Dean.

Only the man in question knew that Cas' wide blue eyes and his innocent demeanour had mostly opened the floor to their most perverted play sessions, but he didn't comment, just grabbed Cas' ass firmly, but making sure it was underneath the tabletop so that nobody could see it, before the boy got up and helped him to his feet.

“I swear if I wasn't out of action,” Dean whispered with a grin when they went down the hall and into bed.

“But you are.”

“How are you?” Dean asked, tugging Cas square across his chest and fondly rubbing his plumb ass through his pajama pants when they had settled in.

“I'm fine,” Cas sighed and added when Dean didn't reply. “I was numb for most of the day, but now I start feeling again.”

“And what do you feel, baby?”

“That I like what you're doing there,” Cas sighed lasciviously, wriggling his ass to show Dean he wanted more.

“Babe? You're scaring me.”

“How so?” Cas asked, turning his head and looking up.

“Because you're fine. Or you appear to be fine,” Dean mumbled, softly stroking over Cas' bouncy rear as if it helped him to think.

“Yeah, you're right. My ass is damn fine,” Cas chuckled.

“And that too...”

“What?”

“You sound like me. When I try to laugh my pain off.”

“I'm _fine_ ,” Cas beamed with emphasis, kissing Dean exuberantly, before flinging himself onto his side with flourish. “Oh, sorry. Did that hurt your head?” he asked when Dean bounced and groaned next to him.

“No, it's all good,” he sighed, spooning up against Cas' back and pressing a small kiss to his shoulder. “You know I'm here when you need to talk, right?”

“You don't think I'll talk,” Cas shook his head. “You're waiting for me to lose it. Cry like a bitch.”

“No, Cas. You don't cry like anything. Though I admit that yes, you are upset sometimes and it results in tears. Not a bad thing. I like it better if you express yourself like that instead of bottling up everything.”

“So that's really what you think? That I cry too often?”

“No, I don't,” Dean shook his head, which made Cas break out in shivers because he did it so close to his own body. “I just know what to do with my baby when I can wipe away your tears instead of trying to break through those walls you built.”

“I can't,” Cas whispered. “Not in front of everyone, your family... We're not even out of the woods yet, and your mom? Let's just say, I can't look like an idiot in front of them. And also not when I know uncle Crowley and his husband will be here soon. They'll all wait for me to break and watch me like sensationalist hawks.”

“So you're holding on? 'Til when?”

“Until it's just the two of us.”

“You're talking a weekend off, just you and me?”

“Maybe,” Cas sighed, tugging Dean's arm tightly around himself. “But that might not be much fun for you if you have to deal with 'trauma Cas', instead of 'filthy Cas'.”

“Screw that, I'll be there no matter what you need.”

“Thank you, Dean.”

 

Cas never cried, not even when the wake was well underway and uncle Crowley, his husband, some distant cousins named something rhyming like Anna and Hannah joined them as the only other members of the family and since there was still room in Dean's house, Bobby and Crowley were put up there.

The cousins would leave pretty quickly after the service, which only left them with two people more to put up after everyone had donned their black formal wear to pay last respects to Chuck and had gotten back from the cemetery.

“I'm getting claustrophobic,” Dean muttered, tugging at the black sleeves of his suit as if it didn't sit well on his back, even though Cas thought he looked remarkably well today, the bruises already fading so much that if you didn't study his face carefully, you wouldn't see them right away.

Suddenly, while he wondered if he should just jump Dean's bones while everyone tried to make a sad face, even though Naomi was the only one who had actually cried at the service when she was handed a urn that was all that remained of her husband.

“Dean, I am not feeling good,” Cas got out, the word claustrophobic and the urn flickering around in his brain, while someone dressed in black kept appearing in his vision.

“Baby, what is it?” he heard Dean's worried voice and he clasped his hand around the older man's arm to steady himself.

“I need to get out of here.”

“Where?”

“Just take me anywhere. Anywhere that's not here.”

“You got it,” Dean reacted immediately, grabbing some random jackets out of the closet that Cas had thought about pulling him into just now.

Dean helped him pull his arms in a trenchcoat that must have been forgotten there by the previous owners of the house because it was neither Dean's nor Lucas' style to wear a long, tan coat.

But Cas felt comfortable in the garment for some reason. He curled up in it when Dean opened the passenger door for him and liked how lost the too big coat made him feel. It seemed like he could hide in it and it would protect him from harm very much like armour.

“Where'd you wanna go?”

“The old house,” Cas answered immediately as if it had been obvious all along that their trip would go there.

“We don't have a key.”

“There's one hidden away in the shed.”

Cas showed him once they were there, and then he opened the door to the house he had called home for almost his entire life. It looked different from when he'd lived in it, although it wasn't that long ago since he'd been here. A lot of his and his mom's personal items had found their way to Dean's house already, and the rest was clean, but also giving off a clearly uninhabited vibe.

Cas went through all the rooms, stopping for a second before the door to Chuck's office, but then he took courage, Dean's hand warm above his on the door handle as he opened it.

“It's empty,” he breathed, when he saw that the room had been cleared out entirely, probably because Chuck had taken most of the furniture or it had tempered with the overall look of the house because it was too shabby. “There's nothing left. He's really just... gone.”

Cas felt the wailing rise slowly, and it felt like a wave rising until it broke and he with it. He collapsed in the empty room, heaving and sobbing, Dean's arms around him as he quietly shared Cas' misery, but knew the sting had to be taken out before he could even begin to console the boy.

“There you are,” he mumbled when Cas' loud sobs finally started subsiding and he felt drained of all strength, countless minutes later. “Just let it all out.”

“I want to sleep,” Cas rasped, his voice scratchy and hurting his throat while he croaked. “Here, in my old bed. With you.”

“Ok,” Dean simply said and helped him get to his feet, nearly carrying him over into his old room, letting his suit be ruined with salty tears when he put the boy down and pulled a blanket over them both, Cas' head on his chest as he finally allowed himself to break down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've started reading the story myself now for continuity purposes, and promptly found stuff to edit too. Like things that only got clearer as the story went on and a few wretched typos (damn past form of thrust being also thrust, but my brain hating the irregular form for some reason), so there's gonna be a few minor changes to the text. I already did the first five chapters and the rest is following shortly. Just a heads up that grammar stuff will be fixed. ;) 
> 
> Also, if you have any requests for anything you want me to do, you're welcome to drop a comment. And I forgot who asked for Crobby (which I ship nearly as hard as Destiel), but rest assured. Here it is, and there will be more.


	32. Chapter 32

Cas didn't even want to think about for how long he had cried, he didn't want to calculate how long either he or Dean could possibly have slept with him lying awake sniffling and then taking exhausted half hour naps out of which he snapped with more crying.

Dean never complained, never even said anything, just gently soothed Cas with touches and appeasing hums that got him to quiet down in order to be able to hear them.

He wanted to apologise time and time again but whenever he tried to form words, he felt unable to utter them as if he had forgotten how to speak. 

The first words he actually said were when the morning after their second horrible night that they had gotten through together were: “I said I was horny, and then you pulled me towards you.” 

“Yeah, I did,” Dean said so clearly as if he hadn't slept at all. “And then?”

“Then you licked me open, telling me how crazy I made you. You said that in the very beginning, do you remember?”

“Yeah, I do. And it's still true.”

“And then you turned me around. Mhmm, I love it when you do that. You went in all rough and hard, just like I love it. Your hands on my head and me drooling while you gave it to me.”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, Cas barely able to make him out in the semi-darkness of the room. “And what happened next?”

“You panted loudly, turning me back around and stared into my eyes while you pumped me full of come. You never looked so beautiful, Daddy.”

“And neither did you, baby. When you come your cheeks look so rosy, your mouth swells a little and you look at me with wonder in your eyes. I just love fucking you,” Dean added, seemingly a bit embarrassed about the praise he had just given Cas.

Cas just talked on, not minding the giant manchild next to him hiding his flaming face about adoring the boy so much that he nearly started singing his praise.

“And you never pulled out of me, just fondled my belly where you knew your cock was. When we went again, we held hands over the bulge. I wish I'd never get larger and you'd always fuck me so I could see your cock outlined on my stomach.”

“But you will grow bigger, my sweet baby. One day you won't even feel stretched anymore when I fuck you.”

“Yeah, my ass won't be little anymore, and it won't feel like you're pulling me apart when you're all the way up there. We'll just have to find other ways to stretch me out. I love being wide open.”

“Size kink,” Dean chuckled and Cas looked at him with a small frown. “What? You have it.”

“I know,” Cas sighed, and swallowed heavily, staring up at the ceiling. 

“Anything else you think you'd enjoy?” Dean nuzzled him, his nose poking the boy's cheek as he scented him. “Maybe go switch one time?”

“No, I like to be the one taking it,” Cas shook his head. 

“Just saying, if it's something you wanted, we could do it.”

“Honestly, it makes me feel special to have you inside me,” Cas described the next part of their perfect night as an example. “Like when you move inside me it fills me with just the thing I was missing. But are you saying that you're a versatile Daddy?”

“I could be,” Dean shrugged. “In case you forget, baby, this is my first time being in a Daddy Dom/little boy relationship.”

“Little boy,” Cas chuckled, climbing Dean with strangled sighs in his throat. “I'm not your little boy, I'm your pussyboi.”

“Have you any idea how much I love you saying all that and knowing exactly what it means?”

Cas chuckled, but couldn't stop thinking about having his ass be used with the sole purpose of having sex, transforming it into a pussy somehow and making him feel so...

“Dean? I think I'd like to be feminised. Crossdressing. Have you telling me you're breeding me.”

“Well, I sorta figured that. The panties were a giveaway. So, where would you draw the lines? Long wigs? Make up? Bras?”

“Yeah... don't really think so... But panties, thigh highs... lingerie in general.” 

“You'd look so beautiful in all of that. Imagine me sucking you off through lace.”

“Fuck, Dean. I was already horny,” Cas grumbled a bit, fumbling around with his pants and not understanding for a minute why he was still in slacks, black ones at that.

“Shit, baby,” Dean sighed sympathetically when Cas had gotten his cock out and it started to deflate so that it was only half-hard by now. 

“I can't,” Cas' eyes watered. “I want to, but I can't. Fuck, this is so frustrating. Damn stupid Chuck for shutting down, and making my dick limp.”

“Hey,” Dean held him tightly. “That's not you. Don't talk like that.”

“I know, it's just... I had my break down, and we talked like everything was normal. Can't it be back to normal now? Can't this work like it's supposed to?” he squeezed his cock until Dean took it out of his hand and gently put it back into Cas' underwear, pulling the zipper of his trousers up carefully, and then cupping it in a last farewell touch.

“It'll come back.”

“That's all stupid Chuck's fault,” Cas grumbled, curling himself up into a bowl. 

“Stage two, anger,” Dean muttered.

“What?”

“Five stages of grief. Denial, in your case, numbness and not realising that it was really happening. Stage two is anger, three bargaining, then depression and finally acceptance.”

“I'm not gonna bargain and I'm not gonna be depressed,” Cas shook his head. “I'm just angry but I also accept that things had to go the way they went. Either it was this or slow death with cirrhosis.”

“So no more walls?” 

“No more walls. But Dean? Can I say something that will sound really wrong if you say it out loud?”

“You're a bit relieved,” Dean stated, knowing full well that that was what Cas was gonna say.

“Yes, I am,” he said with passion in his voice. “It was inevitable, and it's not like I was all that close to him. I'm mostly relieved though. He wasn't a very nice person, the way I've known him. But mom must have seen something in him back in the day, before he drowned himself in booze. Mostly I just think he was weak, and that I don't want to end up like him. Isn't that horrible, to think about your dad like that?”

“No it isn't. Just because he's dead, doesn't mean you suddenly have to overlook his flaws or think differently of him. But you also shouldn't turn him into a monster. His demons were just harder on him than on most people.”

At the word people, Cas thought about the assembly they had left at Dean's place. 

“Shit, we forgot to tell mom where we are,” he said with a sudden jolt, reaching for his phone.

“Don't worry. I told her what happened and where we were overnight.”

“Really? You think of everything,” he sighed and just let himself fall back onto the mattress, after the sudden adrenaline rush, he now felt his exhaustion again.

“Do you wanna sleep a little more?”

“No, I'd rather go home. The only reason I'd stay here would be to have sex while it's just the two of us in the house, but I can't even get it up,” Cas squirmed, but turned round. “Can we just start and I'll get hard while we're doing it?”

“That wouldn't feel right,” Dean shook his head. “You'd only get hard if I hit your pleasure points and that would make me feel like I was forcing you or somethin'.”

“But I know I'd feel better when I've come.”

“Babe, your body just told you that sex is not what you need right now. It just wouldn't be hot for me. Maybe later though, when you're ready.”

“Maybe when I'm finished with telling you about our night?” 

“Oh, what's left?”

“Oh, the thing, where you just held me and we were sweaty and somehow my legs ended up on the headboard,” Cas smirked. 

“Yeah, that was good.”

“Hard to breathe too.”

“I came so hard.”

“Me too,” Cas chuckled, lazily thumping over his dick, trying to rouse it but nothing happened. 

“Shall we just go?” Dean asked, sensing what Cas' problem was.

“Yeah, let's see if the house is still in one piece.”

 

At home they could finally slip out of their formal wear, and used the opportunity to have a shower together.

“Cas, you don't need to-”

“I want to,” Cas gave back, humping Dean harder, his breath hitching but his cock still didn't react so that he groaned in frustration, hitting his head on Dean's chest. 

“Give it time,” Dean said, stroking over Cas' wet back, hissing a little when his own perfectly hard cock twitched out precome.

“This is not fair, you're hard, and I should be hard too. But nothing, just nothing.”

“Stop beating yourself up about this. You're not gonna get impotent over this. When the timing's right, you'll scream out how much you love Daddy's cock inside your ass.”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart,” Dean smirked.

He spoiled Cas by washing him, and towelling him dry and if Cas had let him, he would have helped him into his clothes as well. It was nice feeling pampered and Cas could acknowledge that it was exactly what he needed.

When they went down to the living room, everyone was already assembled, sitting around awkwardly.

“Castiel,” Crowley got up as soon as he saw his nephew. “Long time no see. I swear you've transformed into a twink already. Last time I saw you, you still had braces.”

“You are embarrassing me,” Cas deadpanned, enduring Crowley's hug. 

“And this is your manfriend?” Crowley grinned smugly.

Dean sighed: “It's so obvious that you're related. Nice to meet you, by the way.”

“Likewise. My, you're good-looking. Robert, please leave the room, I need to relentlessly flirt with this one.”

“No, you won't,” Bobby Singer got up and grinned at Dean, holding his calloused hand out to Cas. “Nice to meet you, kid.”

“Likewise,” Cas smiled and Dean groaned again about Cas deliberately choosing the same word that Crowley used.

“Don't imitate the creepy uncle who blinks flirty eyes at me, Cas. It weirds me out.”

“Well, you're free game until you put a ring on Cassie's finger.”

“That'll take a little while,” Cas laughed and then finally looked at the people in the living room sitting behind them.

Mary and Sam's mouths were open about Bobby's and Crowley's complete acceptance of the situation and about the banter that immediately ensued between the couples. 

Mary especially seemed extremely guilty to Cas, and Sam's chest heaved with his deep breaths about someone meeting the unlikely couple and even making jokes about twinks. 

Maybe it had really just been the utter shock of seeing their brother and son doing something they had never heard of, that had them react like they had.

Lucas, who was desperately trying to explain a game to Henry and Blake just grinned when he saw Cas looking at him and Bobby started talking about Crowley and him thinking about adopting a child soon, and when he sat down, a very sleepy Blake you was seemingly tired of his cousin climbed onto his lap to take a nap.

“Seems like you're already pretty good at this,” Dean chuckled.

“Yeah, but Crowley will do the diapers, I've already decided that,” Bobby huffed.

“Hold up, we never said anything like that,” Crowley grew red in the face and Henry started giggling about the short, bearded man's expression.

Cas pondered about the kids just accepting everything and from the looks of Dean's family, they felt even more guilty now, even Sarah who had come around first. Maybe it was a good thing that they had only extended their stay in order to stay for the funeral service and would leave the next day.


	33. Chapter 33

To say that Cas was sad to see the Winchesters go would have been highly euphemised. He liked how quiet the house would be with five people less to trample onto their feet all the time and despite the later progress with anyone, he still hadn't forgiven the earlier animosities.

Sam took Cas to the side and apologised again, smiling and saying he hoped that when they saw each other the next time, they could make a fresh start after all.

“You know, I actually think we can,” Cas pondered Sam's behaviour towards him having taken a turn for the better after the accident, and then added: “But if you hit Dean again, I will hunt you down and kill you. I mean it, no matter if emotional or physical hurt, you're gonna have be to reckon with if you harm him in any way.”

“Understood,” Sam smiled, and pulled Cas into the most awkward embrace possible. “You should probably hug back.”

“Right, of course,” Cas mumbled, slightly clapping the large man's back who was dwarfing him for the few seconds that they hugged before letting go stiffly.

“There you go, buddy,” Sam chuckled. “Sure we'll be friends someday.”

“Sure,” Cas pulled his lip up into a pained looking sideward smile.

“You should give up on lying, it's not your strong suit.”

“Dean constantly says that too. I'm an open book to him, no matter how much I try to hide what's really going on.”

“Don't I know that,” Sam chuckled and they parted on a much friendlier note, and even Dean could bring himself to drag his brother into a one-armed hug.

“C'mere, bitch.”

“Right back at you, jerk.”

“So you're burying the hatchet?” Cas asked when the others pulled out of the driveway, his hug with Sarah and Mary more genuine than with Dean's brother (the little boys of course hardly wanted to let go of him or Lucas and wanted to come by to visit them again as soon as possible).

“Yeah, takes more than a little beating like that to get me and Sam apart. Plus all the shit he said of course. But he's still my brother, and if we all try, we can make this work.”

“Yeah, I'm gonna try. For you. But for now I'm glad they're gone.”

Bobby and Crowley stayed on for a while, because they were both self-employed they could afford to take a longer winter break.

After Dean's first impression of Cas' uncle, it had gotten better when he realised that although Crowley constantly flirted with everyone, even implied that he and Naomi had been an item before she met Chuck to which she only shook her head mildly, he noticed that Crowley really loved his husband. Bobby and Crowley were meant to be, and when Crowley played them a video that had been taken of their wedding vows, everyone shed a tear, though Dean pretended to just have gotten something into his eyes.

“Hey, why didn't you invite anyone?” Cas asked, a strange feeling pulling at his throat and giving him a mental image of him and Dean in suits for a completely different occasion than a funeral.

“Because Robert is a very private person,” Crowley smirked. “Well, that and also that he promised to ravage me as soon as I was legally his. And I have to say, he really fulfilled that promise,” the smirk seemed to be part of Crowley's persona almost perpetually now.

“Say no more. We get the picture,” Naomi chuckled, much recovered now that the funeral was over. She still looked like she had been crying at night when she came to breakfast, but her new job had started, along with the new year and it had given her fresh energy.

Their new year's eve had been so overshadowed by grief and injury that they nearly forgot that the years had turned at all.

Soon, school would start too and Lucas and Cas were already moping because of it. Usually, Cas never minded going back to school, he was mostly bored without the input of learning, but he had looked forward to the vacation that had turned out to be a nightmare through and through so he felt like it hadn't even started yet when it was in fact already over. But he figured it couldn't be helped now, but there was something he wanted to see done before the lessons and work started again.

The last night before heading back to school, he prepared everything and left Dean a note on his pillow to come down to the pool before bedtime, knowing Dean would search for him there in the evening.

He felt secretive and nearly giggled when he sneaked down, a towel wrapped around himself so that only his head and his naked legs peeked out. If this wouldn't rouse his libido, nothing would.

Cas swam for a while, pausing after each lapse to listen for steps on the stairs that led into the basement.

He didn't have to wait long, it was just after 9 pm when Dean came down, calling “Cas, you here?” down the stairs.

The boy waited for the opportune moment, and then heaved himself out of the water, chuckling when Dean's eyes nearly popped out of his skull at what he was wearing.

“Baby, wha-... what are you, uh... ?”

“Don't you like it?” Cas stroked across his torso seductively.

“I fucking love it, but why? I might have been your mother coming down here... or Lucas.”

“I told them not to, so it could only be you. And um...,” he grinned shyly, “because it makes me feel really sexy,” Cas lifted the wet black lace negligee a bit and then the wet fabric snapped back onto him, crinkling as Cas turned around, showing Dean his ass clad in panties to match. “Do you want me?”

“Is that even a question?” Dean said, licking over his lips. “You'd better be open for business right now.”

“No, I'm not. Didn't put a plug in. Chlorine water is not what I want inside me,” Cas lifted his negligee again, showing off the bulge in his panties, impressive and definitely hard. “Isn't that a bit irresponsible of you? You should take better care of my hole if you wanna continue enjoying it. Licking it open might be an option you'd wanna consider. Because I'm all prepared for business otherwise,” he actually winked at Dean.

The older man moaned desperately: “Takes too long”, and picked up Cas in his wet lingerie and pressed him against the wall, hooking Cas' legs over his hips and not even minding that the boy got his clothes all wet.

Cas moaned wantonly when Dean stroked over his body, tweaking his nipples underneath the fabric, then cupping the boy's cock.

“You're hard,” Dean grinned, his voice almost cracking because he was so relieved. “Your precious cock is hard... and hot... and heavy... and-”

“Fuck!” Cas panted and came right against Dean's grinding hand.

“That's my baby,” Dean chuckled, kissing Cas hot and fierce while the boy came down from his first orgasm of the night.

“More,” Cas moaned hungrily. “Fuck me, Daddy.”

“Shh, don't worry, sweetheart. I'm gonna take such good care of you,” Dean cooed softly, hooking his thumb underneath the waistband of Cas' panties, sliding them down just so he could expose his pucker and pressed his thumb to the rosette with gentle pressure. “You want this?”

“Oh, yeah! You know I want it,” Cas licked his lips, his breath hitching when Dean pressed against his perineum, stimulating his prostate from the outside.

“You're gonna ask me nicely, baby?”

“Not right now. I'm too desperate to play. Please, Dean. Let's just get on with it.”

“Ok, but just this once, Cas. No bending the rules once we start doing this every day again.”

“Promise,” Cas breathed out before shamelessly moaning around Dean's thumb pressing inside him.

“When we started, I couldn't think of doing this so quickly, but you're so used to this now...,” Dean bit his lips, pumping his thumb in until the ball teased over Cas' stretched rim.

“Now I gotta use other fingers though,” Dean commented what he was doing and Cas sighed, his legs quivering when Dean shoved two fingers up his hole and scissored them inside.

“I'm guessing this pool party of yours involves some lube?”

Cas only managed to indicate the wanted item with a finger, loving the feeling of Dean carrying him over to where he had stashed the bottle without even bothering pulling his fingers out and then immediately pressing him to the wall again when he had what he wanted.

“Fuck, you look amazing,” Dean groaned about Cas' unruly, still wet hair, his come-stained panties and the flimsy negligee, so wet and accentuating Cas' firm lines and sharp hipbones, making Dean so wild that Cas could practically feel the heat waves steaming from the older man's body.

He fucked himself onto Dean's slick fingers inside him, bopping up and down, loving how the lace rippled over his body and his newly risen cock. When Dean's cock finally pressed inside him, it felt like the first time.

“Fuck, so stretched. So huge and perfect, Daddy,” Cas bit his lips, loving Dean's thick length slowly making it's way inside him until the older man bottomed out, steadying himself with his hands pressed to the wall, Cas clinging to him like a spider monkey.

“You're like a vice,” Dean panted, slowly thrusting, letting both of them adjust to the long overdue sensation of having sex again.

“Harder, Dean,” Cas kept moving up and down, Dean's careful movements making him want to thrash and ride him, but Dean steadied his movements with his hands splayed huge and sweaty on his hips.

“You want it harder?” he experimentally thrust forward deep and sudden, so Cas' breathing lost it's rhythm.

“Oh fuck yeah. More... just more.”

Dean pistoned in and out of Cas then, hard and with so much force that the boy had to remind himself not to grit his teeth with each thrust, while Dean's hips snapped against his ass, his cock rubbing him just right.

“You love it rough, don't you?” Dean panted in a staccato voice that matched his movements.

“Oh yes, Daddy,” Cas answered in like fashion, the rush of his next orgasm building so he pulled at his panties now, his cock underneath twitching out precome until he moaned out another climax, loving how Dean fucked into him with more mighty heaves while coming too.

Cas' legs slipped down while Dean passionately kissed him, his hands in his almost dry hair, groping the boy's ass and prodding for his cock still stretching him open as if he was starving for the touch, sometimes kneading Cas' flesh, sometimes toying with his rim until come leaked out of him.

“I don't think I can stand,” Cas chuckled, trying to hook his legs back over Dean's hips but his weary muscles not working like they were supposed to and making him slip off him no matter how hard he tried to stay on him.

“That's alright, baby. I'll carry you,” Dean moaned happily, picking Cas up into a bridal carry and bringing him back up the stairs and gently laying him down on the bed, pealing him out of his by now stiff and dried garments with gentle movements.

“Another round, babe?” he asked once he had thrown the ruined panties in the general proximity of the hamper and had revealed Cas' dick being all too happy about seeing the light again.

“Yeah, but a slow one this time,” Cas nodded, his mouth watering at Dean jerking himself to get hard too. “Wanna feel you all over me.”

“Then let's get those pretty little legs up, baby boy,” Dean said, and then kissed his way up on Cas' upper thighs, pressing his legs up so he could slide inbetween and then pressed his cock into the boy once more.

They kissed, and Cas did his best to grind against Dean even though he was pretty tired from their intense last round. He loved the feeling of Dean coming inside him once more while he cradled the older man's head that had sunken onto his chest, panting his orgasm against it. Cas smiled while he held him, but his expression changed when Dean grabbed his cock and milked another orgasm out of him so that he clung to the older man tightly, even as he came down.

“Don't pull out,” he whispered when Dean moved a little to give him room for breathing.

“Alright, baby. You can keep the toy overnight, but you have to give it back tomorrow.”

“Only you can make a joke when we're this fucked,” Cas rolled his eyes, pressing a deep kiss onto Dean's lips and added: “I love you,” when he had pulled a pillow underneath their heads and they just lay there tangled up and watching each other.

Dean didn't reply for a second, he seemed like he was thinking, staring past Cas and creasing his brow in concentration.

“Cas, I have to say something. And you have to think about it.”

“Ok,” Cas nodded.

“I don't want you to move out again. I'm guessing your mom will look for apartments soon and when she goes, I don't want you to go with her. I've gotten a taste for how things are when we're sharing the same living space, the same bed, just the same everything. I don't wanna go back to not doing that anymore. We've done the sneaking around, not knowing when and where to meet, and I'm sick of it. I just wanna _be_ , and I've had enough drama for a lifetime. So, will you think about it? And discuss it with Naomi?”

“I will,” Cas nodded, a feeling of conflicting interests flaring up for a second, but then Dean's soft green gaze and his smile chased the thought away.

“Hey, baby?” he whispered devotional.

“Yes, Dean?”

“You're the love of my life,” he took even his faint whisper down another notch.

Cas didn't know what to say and felt himself float away to Dean's soft whispers of: “You don't have to say anything, I just wanted you to know what you mean to me. I love you, baby. Happy New Year.”


	34. Chapter 34

The first day back in school showed Cas how exhausted by his holidays he really was. When Meg ran towards him with a cheerful: “Clarence, my doll!” greeting, he could hardly keep himself from groaning about her happiness.

“You ok?” she let go of him quickly, greeting Lucas with a nod who rushed past them with a wave: “See you at lunch,” because he had to get to the other end of the school building to get to his workshop class.

“Not really,” Cas shook his head once Lucas had disappeared from view and Meg and him made their way to their own class.

He had texted her most of what had happened, but she seemed genuinely concerned for how he looked right now.

“I would've come to the funeral, you know. Just this stupid vacation my parents dragged me off to. To 'reconnect' with nature. Like a stupid skiing resort has anything to do with that,” she shook her head. “Seriously, I spent my entire break freezing. But you totally win the competition for shittiest holiday season ever. You need another hug,” she decided and pulled Cas close once more.

Cas couldn't tell her how much it meant that she was there for him now even as grumpy as he was, or how he felt about her nearly having told her parents that she wouldn't go skiing with them when it had turned out that Dean's family didn't accept Cas at first, which she told him about while they manoeuvred their way through the halls.

“Seriously, if you'd only met me on the first evening after school finished, we'd have blown the joint and would've had a holiday in Mexico. I would've been warm and you wouldn't have to deal with your stupid in-laws.”

“They're not technically in-laws, yet,” Cas shook his head as they turned the corner and went into their classroom. They took their usual seats, but Cas' view to the board was obstructed by a head of blonde hair that didn't seem familiar to him.

Just when Cas thought that the boy in front of him turned around, smirking at them and Cas felt himself reacting, his grumpiness making him too sourly to react to the newcomer properly.

“Hello, I'm Balthazar. What's your name?”

Cas couldn't say anything, he just stammered, a little overwhelmed too with how good-looking the other kid was.

“Hey, I'm Meg,” Meg introduced herself first. “And this is Castiel.”

“My friends call me Cas,” Cas stuttered out, still not recovered, and kicking himself for being so awkward.

“So that's _Castiel_ to you,” Meg frowned at Balthazar, apparently not liking him very much.

“Right, so I guess I'm gonna have to come up with another nickname for him if Cas is off reservations, right?” Balthazar just grinned.

“How about you don't?” Meg groused, looking at Cas as if she couldn't believe his stupidity now nor throughout the whole remainder of the lesson, whenever Balthazar asked him a question, quickly picking up on the fact that Cas was the best in this class, and leaning over with a smile that made Cas stammer out the correct answers, seemingly not coming to terms with the new kid and his undivided interest in him.

“What the hell do you think you're doing, Clarence?” Meg fumed, kicking him in the shin sharply when they got out.

“Ouch! What the hell?”

“That guy was flirting with you like crazy and you didn't tell him to stop it, just babbled on about x equals that, and y equals 'I'm easy, just take me'.”

“What? I never... He's confusing me. He's very good-looking and I guess I was a little overwhelmed, but I didn't _flirt_ with him. I had a totally shitty time back there.”

“I know that, Clarence. But sugar, if it seemed like you had awkwardly flirted any more, I bet the guy would've expected your pants to learn how to drop by themselves.”

“I told him the answers. That wasn't a flirtation. You know I don't react well to strangers,” Cas said, implying how he needed a little time to get acquainted with people he met. It had been the same when he had met Meg and Lucas in middle school. He had been shy and awkward with them for a while before he learned to open up to them and Balthazar's exceptional good looks plus his intense persona had completely overwhelmed Cas, who just hadn't expected a new kid in his math class.

“Well, you tell him that when he asks you to the next prom night.”

“Are you sure that's what it seemed like to him?” Cas asked, a sudden sharp pain in his stomach about how he could never go to prom with his real partner.

“Clarence, you were blushing like the cute little virgin that you absolutely aren't,” Meg told him honestly.

“Shit,” Cas cursed ardently.

“Let's just hope he's not into guys. Although I can't think of one straight guy who wouldn't make an exception for you. You're just too pretty for your own good.”

“But I don't want anyone to make an exception for me. I'm Dean's, not some random guy's. And I certainly don't want Balthazar to think that I could ever be with him.”

“Well, short of having sex right in front of him, you're gonna have a hard time to convince Balthazar that you don't have a fucking crush on him, but you're just a cute inept social caterpillar instead of a butterfly.”

“How the fuck am I gonna tell Dean about this?” Cas whispered as they went down the halls to their next lesson.

“Carefully,” Meg decided after a long while.

If Lucas' reaction at lunch was anything to go by, Dean would break out in roaring laughter about Cas' misunderstanding with the new kid. When he wasn't busy laughing his ass off, he was telling them about meeting Balthazar too, in his English class.

“He's a real looker, even I can tell,” he snorted. “And he's actually pretty bright. Helped me to understand that damn cryptic Emily Dickinson. But he was also a bit of a douche about it. Must be his Englishness showing. Hey, you know what they say about how the English are bad in bed?” he began to snort again.

“No, and I am truly surprised you do,” Cas said stiffly, not liking how Lucas made light of his misery.

“It's just something people say.”

“And not something I will ever find out about,” Cas replied coolly.

“Nor I, for other reasons than you. Hey, Cas? Dad will lose his shit about this,” he laughed. “He's gonna tease you so bad.”

“No, he won't. Because we are not going to tell him. He's not supposed to know about this stupid misunderstanding until I've sorted it out.”

“That might be for the best,” Meg nodded.

“C'mon guys, it'll be a laugh,” Lucas tried to get them to join in his amusement, but both others shook their heads.

Lucas didn't seem to get that the whole situation wasn't really funny, not even when the new kid also turned up during their swimming practice and told them about his experience at tournaments in England.

“Why did you move here?” coach Rubens asked Balthazar.

“My dad got offered a job here and so we moved to the states.”

“Great, I am sure you will make a wonderful addition to our team. Let's take you through the paces and see what you're best at. It will be good practice for everyone,” she added louder and put her whistle to her lips for the first group to get onto the starting blocks.

“Ok, now it's getting ridiculous,” Lucas muttered behind Cas an hour later, both staring at Balthazar's back who snapped the waistband of his trunks three times during the short time it took to get back to the beginning. “That guy's clearly thinking he's getting to you with this stupid stuff.”

Cas nodded, trying hard to look past Balthazar which the other teen only quitted with more smirks about Cas' obvious attempt not to look at him. He thought of Dean and how different it had seemed when it was Cas who had done the teasing and not an obnoxious guy who seemed hell bent on making Cas his first trophy at his new school.

Since he wasn't blind though, Cas saw that Balthazar's handsome face wasn't the only gift he was graced with. His body was slim yet toned, but Cas was pleased to find that he felt no reaction of his body to Balthazar's obvious visual charms, and not even the pretty substantial bulge in the other teen's trunks could fascinate him, which he saw as the ultimate test.

If he hadn't been so uncomfortable, he would have found the other boy's capers and attempts to draw his gaze onto himself really funny, but since he was mostly annoyed and trying to convince the guy that he didn't have a crush on him, he somehow ended up achieving the very opposite.

Every time Balthazar caught him looking, or even worse, when he _didn't_ , he seemed to grow bolder and like he loved the attention and bounced happily in the fringes of Cas' vision when he strained his neck to look away from him.

“That guy is a douchebag,” Lucas rumbled while they were in the showers, Cas somehow getting really paranoid now because he felt as if Balthazar's eyes were on him constantly. Last tournament it had already been bad, but now he felt much worse for being naked in front of other people. He turned so that if someone happened to cast a look at him they could neither see his cock nor the crack of his ass. But when he _did_ catch Balthazar looking, he felt like even the swell of his hipbones was too much for him to see.

He could hardly wait to wrap his towel around himself and get out of the showers. He was in such a haste that he slipped on the tiles and nearly fell before Balthazar caught him.

“Careful there, Cassie,” he smirked and Cas checked with an infuriating blush he couldn't seem to stop creeping into his cheeks if his towel was still hiding his intimate parts.

“And what would you be sneaking a peek from?” Balthazar's sonorous English accent was in his ear, even as Cas wrapped his towel even tighter around himself and fled the showers without a word.

He couldn't wait to get to work, so without even waiting for Lucas, he dried his hair quickly and got on the way to the bookshop.

 

The rest of the week was pretty quiet, even if Cas was now perpetually followed by Balthazar's smirks and happy waving whenever he saw him. The nickname Cassie seemed to be stuck as well, because whenever he had a question in math, he turned around and started with: “Cassie, can you explain this” so that Meg who ruffled her hair whenever Balthazar turned and said quite loudly at one point: “If you don't understand any of this shit, perhaps you should go back to kindergarten and fuck the hell off,” which earned her a week of detention.

Cas hadn't told Dean about his little problem and had also instructed Lucas not to say anything, despite his best friend still not understanding why they couldn't all just laugh about this.

All in all, Cas was glad to be finishing up Friday evening, when the bookshop bell rang once more, bringing in what he hoped was the last customer of the evening, but since he was busy sorting through orders that hadn't been picked up yet, he had his back turned to the door.

“Hello, Cassie. I didn't know you were working here.”

Cas groaned silently about the now well known smirking voice in his back, but he turned around, trying to appear friendly, because after all the customer was still king.

“Balthazar, what can I do for you?”

“Oh, lots of things. You could help me with math again, or you could help me get this book my mom send me here for, or you can go out with me tomorrow evening.”

“I am happy to help you with math if you have a question during class time, and I'm here for finding the book you need but I can't help you with your third... thing,” Cas found his voice around the still strange boy, because now he simply had to. He couldn't say he was surprised by Balthazar asking him out, but he had mentally prepared several speeches to let him down.

“You disappoint me, Cassie,” Balthazar really sounded put down. “Surely I am not the only one who noticed sparks flying between us ever since the first time I saw you? And you can't pretend not to have enjoyed what you saw when we had that naked little thing in the showers.”

Cas flinched about the loud clutter of books and a groaned: “Son of a bitch,” behind a shelf, that sounded nauseatingly familiar.

He abandoned Balthazar at the counter and with his steps slightly wobbly, he found Dean who had been hidden behind said shelf, probably to surprise Cas once the customer was gone, with a pile of books that seemed to have been pulled out roughly so that they landed on his feet and having overheard a rather unpleasant surprise.

“Dean?” Cas asked, knowing that his face had to seem incredibly guilty, which Dean would have a hard time to attribute to the right cause. Namely that Cas was feeling guilty he hadn't told Dean about this and he had now witnessed it, and not that the 'naked little thing' that Balthazar had mentioned didn't in fact mean anything.

“Aren't you closed by now?” Dean fumed when he just stuffed the books back into the shelf, not minding any order.

“Yes,” Cas tried to gather his wits. “Balthazar, your book will have to wait because I'm about to close up now.”

“Doesn't matter, I will just have to come back when you're here again. By the way, that was a no about tomorrow?”

“Definitely a no.”

“Really?” Balthazar put on a flirty smirk.

“Yes. I-I mean, it was a no. N. O. No.”

“Alright. But that won't stop me from asking again. Hey, mister? Why aren't you leaving?” he held the shop door open for Dean, who could hardly do more than give Cas a glance that looked so dejected and heartbroken that the teen had rather have Dean punch him in the face because that would've hurt less.

Cas never did the bookwork as fast as today, and was all prepared to run the entire way home, but he felt something stuck in his throat when he saw Dean's car still there and the man in question waiting for him inside.

“I'm so so sorry,” he started as soon as the passenger's side door was open.

Dean looked at him with the same, somehow burned expression: “No, it's ok. You don't have to say anything, I've already heard everything. I'm not mad.”

“No, please. You don't understand-”

“I understand perfectly. A boy your own age, who you can actually be seen with, who you can date in public, do kids stuff with. I don't blame you-”

“Will you shut up for a second and let me explain, please?”

“Alright,” Dean nodded stoically, staring out the window, not able to face Cas.

“Ok, so whatever you're thinking, it's not what it looks like, alright? I am not doing anything with that guy. He's the new kid in school, and because I'm stupid and socially inept, he thinks I have a thing for him.”

“Aha,” Dean deadpanned, obviously not believing Cas.

“And the naked thing in the showers was me wanting to get out, because he had been staring at me the whole day already, and I nearly tripped. Then I looked down to see if I was all covered up and he obviously thought I was taking a peek at him. Which I wasn't, I promise. I'd never do anything with someone who wasn't you.”

“You can't know that for sure,” Dean said lifelessly. “You're so young and just because I was your first crush doesn't mean that I necessarily have to be the last.”

“What are you saying?” Cas asked tentatively, afraid Dean would break if he did what he was actually feeling like: shower him with kisses and declare his lifelong attachment to him.

“I'm saying maybe you ought to go on that date with the boy. Can't hurt to be sure.”

“But Dean, I don't want this. That guy who was in there is... is a douchebag,” he blurted out the word that Lucas had used time and time again during the last week.

“Then why didn't you tell me about your crush on him?” Dean asked quietly.

“I don't have a crush on him and I thought it would upset you to know what he was doing.”

“It upset me more that you didn't tell me, because now I'm thinking that there is more to this and that's why you didn't tell me.”

“I swear there's not. Don't make me go on a date with him. I would if you'd ask me, but I would hate it _so_ much. Please, Dean. Don't make me do this. There is nothing going on there, I promise.”

Dean simply nodded and started up the engine, not saying more than a handful of words throughout the entire rest of the evening and when Cas climbed into bed with him after finishing his homework, he was either asleep already, or pretended to be.

Dean was taciturn all weekend long and when Cas came home next Monday, announcing sourly that he had a new colleague at work who was named Balthazar and who had wormed his way into Cas' shift so the other teen could show him the ropes, Dean only frowned at the news and left the dinner table without saying a word.


	35. Chapter 35

“And this is how the register works?” Balthazar asked, leaning way into Cas' personal space during his next shift.

“Yeah. Yes,” Cas blinked, trying to lean away and checking the clock on the wall for how long he still had to endure this.

“Is that the 'yes' I was hoping for, Cassie?” Balthazar smirked and followed Cas, who had no space left to retreat and was pinned there if he didn't want to brush against the other teen as he moved closer and Cas couldn't help but think about the weekend and how the one he actually wanted to have close had kept him at arm's length.

Dean and him hadn't spoken much about the whole thing, only Dean seemed too far from him no matter how tight he tried to hold him.

“Do you wanna have sex?” Cas had asked Saturday evening, his libido still not up to par, but it had been a week and he was totally ready for a tangle in the sheets again.

“Neh,” Dean quipped and it was obvious why he was giving Cas the cold shoulder.

“Can I cuddle you then?”

“If you insist,” Dean sighed and let Cas throw his arms around him and had gone to sleep happy at his little win, but when he had woken up in the morning, Dean still lay with his back to him and at the very edge of the mattress, getting up as soon as Cas started stretching.

“Hey, don't I get a wake up call?”

“Good morning,” Dean added then, already halfway into the bathroom.

“I want a kiss though.”

“After I brushed my teeth. Don't want you to wrinkle your nose at my dirty old man morning breath,” he said without looking back.

“But I love your dirty old man smell,” Cas called after him desperately and only got the sound of the bathroom door clicking shut for an answer, and when Dean had come back out he went directly to breakfast, apparently totally forgetting that Cas still wanted that good morning kiss.

Sunday evening when they had been alone was even worse. Cas had put on panties for Dean and waited expectantly, only to have the older man throw a quick glance at him, nodding once and then curling up with his back to him once more.

When Cas had tried to creep close and stick his small hand into the older man's briefs, Dean had only muttered: “I'm really tired, Cas.”

“Ok,” the teen conceded, knowing when he had lost.

Now he was here, having the closest personal interaction of the week with a douchebag English kid who made him too nervous and something about that made him say: “Yes, I'll go out with you,” and feeling himself blush about it.

“Great,” Balthazar smiled softly and mercifully let Cas get out of the literal corner he had been backed into so that he could catch his breath. If this was what he needed to do to make Dean happy, he would do it.

After work, he was only too happy to hop into the Impala grinning about Dean collecting him.

“Hello, love.”

“Since when do you call me that?” Dean asked and if Cas wasn't mistaken, the first faint traces of a grin were visible around his eyes and the corners of his mouth.

“Since now,” Cas smiled. “I have something to tell you.”

“Yes?” Dean asked and whatever trace of a faint echo of a smile had been there was immediately gone.

“I agreed to go out with Balthazar. He's taking me to dinner on Friday after work, and then dancing to that monthly teen thing next to the-”

“Cinema, I know,” Dean supplied. “Well, I can't say that I enjoy the thought of it, but I think it's necessary. Like I told you last week.”

“I'm doing this for you. I'm doing it _because_ of you. Will it make you feel better?”

“No, I can't say that the thought of that asshole kid with his tongue down your throat or sucking your cock can make me feel any better,” Dean suddenly fumed.

“I wouldn't... It's just so I get to know him more and can convince him that I don't have an awkward crush on him, but that I am just awkward.”

“God fucking damn it, Cas!” Dean shouted now, and Cas got really scared from how fast he drove them home. “Don't pretend like you don't have a crush on him. That fucking happens, ok? People get crushes all the time, even when they're with someone. The things that kill me are that you didn't tell me about it and that you didn't want to see what it really came down to. And you can only do that during a fucking date, ok?”

Cas was stunned into silence by witnessing Dean's raw pain finally showing and didn't open his mouth until they pulled up in the driveway and Dean finally looked at him, his forehead cringed and his whole face a mask of hurt and abrasiveness.

“I can't tell you how big or meaningful that crush of yours is, but it's best if you finally admit to having it. To yourself and to me. Only if you know about it and see if it's worth pursuing can you and me move forward.”

“What are you saying?” Cas whispered tonelessly.

“I'm saying go on a fucking date with that douchebag, and see how you feel about him then. But since we're still in a relationship, I'm posing rules here. No kissing and no fucking without you telling me that we're over first. I hate cheating.”

“We're not gonna be over. Not unless you want us to be,” Cas' voice definitely had a broken quality to it now.

“We'll see. If it turns out that you want to continue this,” Dean did a pointing motion with his his finger between them. “We go on as normal. But I won't be mad at you if you don't. You can still come over, because you're still gonna be Lucas friend, but we're gonna be ov-”

“Don't you fucking dare tell me that we're gonna be over. We're never gonna be over,” Cas burst out and stormed out of the car towards the house.

“Come back here when I'm talking to you,” Dean's loud voice echoed through the hall while Cas already stormed down it.

“Don't tell me what to do,” Cas yelled back, seeing Naomi and Lucas peek out of their respective rooms and his mom saying: “Ice cream?” and Lucas quickly replying: “Sounds good. Let's go.”

“I said get back,” Dean shouted, still coming after Cas.

“Fucking make me,” Cas gave back.

“Then I fucking will,” Dean growled, grabbing Cas and pulling at him until he was all up in the boy's personal space, both heaving angrily and staring at each other full of tension, Dean pushing him forward into the bedroom.

They heard the front door click shut and something seemed to snap in them at it.

Dean's mouth crashed onto Cas' in a bruising, sucking kiss, while he ripped at Cas' sweater so that the fabric tore.

Cas wasn't better, he clawed Dean's jacket off him, ripping his shirt open so the buttons flew everywhere, while Dean kneaded his flesh with too rough hands, ripped the boy's belt open and pulled his trousers down to viciously that the boy tripped and they landed hard on the floor in a heated mess of limbs and groans.

They didn't talk, just groped and ground against each other, and not even Dean reaching blindly for the closest drawer of the dresser and pulling out a lube bottle could break the heat for even a second.

Cas saw Dean squirting some in his hand, and that was all he could do to prepare for the rough finger pushing into him.

“Fucking shit,” he groaned, adjusting as best he could to Dean's rough treatment of his hole. Dean bit into Cas' bottom lip, sticking fingers into the boy's mouth over and over to carry even more wetness down to his hole to fuck it into him with his fingers.

In what felt like a minute, Cas was open enough to take four of Dean's fingers and without more warning then a hard suck at the base of his neck, he felt the head of Dean's cock breach him.

“Yes, fuck,” he panted, hooking his legs over Dean's hips as he fucked him rough and fast. “Harder,” Cas cried.

“Fuck,” Dean groaned, pulling out and flinging Cas around so that he lay belly down on the floor until he felt his hips ripped up and Dean's cock shoving all the way in again. “Hard enough for you?” Dean panted heavily while ramming himself into Cas over and over until the boy saw stars and his knees screamed from prolonged contact with the hardwood floor.

“Fuck yeah,” Cas moaned, fucking himself back onto Dean's cock and sucking in a sharp breath when he felt a hand around his cock, making it weep from how hard Dean jerked him.

“I'm gonna come,” Cas moaned out in now time at all and he felt drool leaking out of his slack mouth while Dean set his whole system on fire until he pulled out and stroked his come out onto Cas' back.

Cas was so grateful that despite how angry he was, that Dean hadn't used him to his own completion as over-sensitised as he was and he came up, leaning into him with his breath shaking and his lips feeling hot and swollen as he pulled the older man in for kisses.

Cas thought this had done it, he was happy and calm when they fell onto the mattress exhaustedly, not knowing where Dean ended and where he began, but again in the morning, when Cas reached out to where Dean had been before they fell asleep there was an empty spot there.

“Dean?” he asked, carding through his tangled, messy hair and finding finger-shaped bruises on his hips that made him hiss but also smile at the memory of their rough time, until he didn't hear a reply back.

When he got to the kitchen, his mom told him that Dean had left early for work this morning and she wanted to know why they had argued the night before.

“It's nothing,” Cas shrugged.

“Didn't sound like nothing,” Naomi said carefully. “Will you promise to let me know if it turns out to be _something_?”

“Course,” Cas sighed, receiving a text from Dean: “Put plug in before work. Every day 'til Friday.” This was gonna be a long week.

 

He hadn't know how right he was, because Dean collected him from work every day now, frowning and honking at him if he didn't come soon enough and once he had the boy in his clutches, he never laid off him again. Five times a night became the average for them, and by the time Friday came around, Meg took one look at Cas, and sacrificed her whole thermos jug of coffee to him, because: “You look like you need it.”

“Thanks, Meg,” Cas yawned. “It's just Dean and I... the whole of last night...” he started when he poured the coffee and felt some excuse of life inside his boneless body again.

“He's wearing you out, isn't he?” Meg asked, her entire being expressing sympathy.

“Yes, and I like this better than the stone cold version of himself he was before this. Having a great time. I just miss the cuddles after. And the smiles, and everything,” he sighed.

“He's getting possessive,” Meg said wisely, rolling her eyes when the cause of this behaviour walked into the room with spiffy clothes on and a gaze solely focused on Cas.

“My darling. Excited for our little outing today?”

“Can it, douchewart,” Meg ended the conversation before it even started. “Consider this the best day you'll ever have, and be prepared to be disappointed,” Meg fumed, her hands clenching into fists as if she would like nothing better than to improve Balthazar's face with bruises and cuts, but she took a back seat, pulling Cas close and whispering so that Balthazar wouldn't hear them no matter how hard he pricked his ears. “I mean Dean _is_ possessive, right? Five times a night is pretty excessive.”

“Oh yeah, he's possessive. I can't even tell you what he said last night, because it's kinda...”

“Yeah, private, I get it. Anyway that's good, Clarence. It means he's not given up. You should've just ignored the bastard,” she hissed at the back of Balthazar's head. “Did you even tell him that you already have someone?”

“No, because it doesn't matter. I'm doing this for Dean and not because I want it.”

“Well good. As long as you're sure about you not wanting to do anything about this stupid crush of yours, then it's all good.”

“Why does anyone assume I have a crush on the guy?”

Meg only gave him a pitiful look.

“He's obnoxious, and he drives me up the wall and he's just generally all over the place. I mean he got a job in the same store, for fuck's sake. Seems like he's pretty keen on me, but I not on him,” Cas set out to explain.

“Yeah, he is. But he's also the sort of prick who's never taken no for an answer. And admit it, honey. He's getting under your skin more than he should,” Meg went on after it was announced that for once they were allowed to work in pairs and she had claimed Cas as hers before Balthazar could even open his mouth.

Cas felt himself blush again as Balthazar smirked at him once more.

“Well shit. I have a crush,” he said tonelessly as if something clicked into place, and Meg kicked him to focus back on her.

“A fault confessed is half redressed,” she whispered, hugging Cas as they valiantly tried to solve their equations together, math problems so far from any real problems that it was easy to lose yourself in them.

 

During swimming it was different, because Balthazar's capers had mostly stopped, now that he had gotten Cas to say yes, but he still loved to draw the attention of everyone, so Cas could assess his situation carefully.

He was nervous around the other boy, no doubt about that. Also he was nervous when Balthazar was all up and close with him. But what was the reason? Was this in any way something he'd like to have? No, he decided before even finishing the thought. It was just so confusing to have someone dead set on hitting on him that he was actually kind of flattered because of it.

Dean had said that he should just see. That meant to find out how far this crush went, right? But Cas had already done that the day he'd seen the other boy in his swim wear the first time. He wasn't interested, so this meant this thing wouldn't have any lasting effect on him, or wasn't that how things like this went?

“Gather round please, everyone,” coach Rubens said at the end of the training session. “Great work. We really have a chance to end this season on a high note for our school. Balthazar, since you're new I won't take you to the tournaments, it would be wasted efforts on your part because you haven't done the first months of the season. I hope you understand.”

“No, actually. Why? I'm a good swimmer and I could win some disciplines.”

“I'm sure you could, but if you'd compete, you'd still not make a very high ranking because so many of your peers have an advantage over you. It's only a bit over two months left, which means you missed more than two thirds of term.”

“But-”

“Next time,” she smiled, but Balthazar left the pool fuming before she had dismissed them.

 

“Can you believe her?” he still fumed while he walked to the bookshop with Cas. Normally Cas left in a hurry to have at least a few Balthazar free moments before starting, but since he had left so early today, he had waited outside for him.

“She's kinda right though, your final score would be depressingly low.”

“But not to let me compete at all? I know I'm good enough to win.”

Cas rolled his eyes where Balthazar couldn't see it, seeing that he was very full of himself and so not looking forward to later tonight.

He saw Dean's car outside the book store and somehow, his vision narrowed down to the man in question leaning against it and fading out the boy next to him.

“That guy again?” Balthazar said and something else after, but Cas wasn't listening because Dean walked around the car, frowning and building himself up in front of them like a wall.

“I have something to ask you, Castiel,” he said when Cas walked in to the store and greeted his boss, who was just about to leave, with a quick nod.

“Castiel?” he whispered towards Dean when Balthazar had disappeared into the staff room to dump his bookbag and get ready.

“What of it?” Dean asked aggressively, but they couldn't argue anymore because Cas' boss left the store now, instructing him to let Balthazar run things by himself for a while.

Cas rolled his eyes at Dean's threatening pose and waited until Balthazar had cleared out of the staff room to go in there himself.

“Ey, mister. You're not supposed to be back here,” he heard Balthazar's voice, but Dean didn't seem to let himself be stopped from following him.

“Stay away from me kid, if you like walking on two legs,” Dean groused and locked Cas in with him.

“What are you doing?” Cas hissed when Dean pressed him against the wall, wriggling his pants down.

“Got the plug in already?” Dean panted and it was obvious what it meant.

“Yeah, like every time this- Ah! Fuck, Dean!” he moaned when Dean's fingers were all the way inside him in another second.

“Used enough lube too,” Dean grunted appreciatively, pulling the zipper of his slacks down and stroking his cock hard against Cas' hole.

“R- really?” Cas panted, immediate arousal at Dean wanting him right now. “In here?” Cas clasped the older man's back, his hole fluttering empty and he felt hunger awakening inside of him.

“Right in _here_ ,” Dean emphasised with thrusting up into the boy's well used hole, fucking hard and fast, groaning out: “Mine, mine, mine,” whenever his hips snapped forward.

Cas loved the possessive growls that had already started last night and that he didn't want to tell Meg about because it was deeply personal and just between them.

“Ah, fuck. Yours,” he echoed Dean, his hands on his cock and jerking furiously.

Dean came fast, grunting low and going rigid with a strangled sob, helping Cas to finish once he was done.

“Fuck,” Cas moaned, coming hard and long but it didn't save them from awkwardly tugging their clothes back up after the plug was back in place.

“That was...,” the teen smiled but Dean wasn't done with his ambush yet. He pressed Cas to the wall once more, kissing him and making himself taller than usually as he croaked: “Choose _me_ ,” he pleaded, his eyes watery. “And skip that dancing thing after dinner. I don't want his hands on you.”

And then he left before Cas could tell him that he didn't even have to make that choice because there was never any choice to make, and it was only ever Dean and no one else.


	36. Chapter 36

By the time Cas made it out of the store room, plugged up and with possessive come marking him up on the inside, he heard the roar of Dean's engine starting and he stood in the main room, crossing his arms while he watched the Impala drive off.

What he wouldn't have given to have Dean come back to him, let him say what he needed to say and have the evening end after this. He felt old and very much like a coach potato when he thought about the prospect of going out after a long day at school and work, but still having to amuse and probably also stop the advances of Balthazar.

An hour and a half he'd give him, not more. By now, Cas resented his crush on the other boy. Why did this have to happen? Was the slight awkwardness and blushing stammer really worth making such a huge deal about? It was there, and he couldn't deny anymore that he was somehow having a soft spot for the other boy, but it was mostly annoying for everyone involved and actually hurtful for Dean.

Speaking of... Dean had risked a lot by instigating what they had just done in the store room. But from what Cas could see, the other boy seemed wholly focused on getting the catalogue app on their computer to work and by the looks of the client in front of him, he had been on it for longer than he should've so it appeared as if no one had noticed their quickie in the staff room.

“Anything I can do?” Cas asked, but Balthazar nearly hissed at him, furiously stabbing at the keys and Cas raised his hands in surrender, grabbing a clipboard with a title list and ticked all the copies that they still had and marked the ones they ran low on with red marker. It wasn't very straining work, but he had to concentrate to link the back of the books to the matching title on his board, so he couldn't think much about the pressing rest of business until the hour that his boss had instructed him to let Balthazar work on his own was up and he finished his inventory. When he had started working here, he had once gone through the ordeal to do a proper inventory without doing these little lists beforehand and it had taken him days to finish it. But since it had been the time when he and Dean hadn't seen each other, he hadn't minded the mindless work so much. His boss had even complimented him on his system and had adapted it himself to have those lists handy by the time the next inventory would have to be done.

Sighing, he worked on, thankfully Balthazar allowed him to mind the cash point and computer again although he constantly talked at him throughout the rest of their shift.

Cas only nodded and didn't let the babble distract him much, only saying vaguely evasive things when Balthazar made plans for their second date or to ask him to a party at Emily's that was gonna happen next week.

“Oh eh... ” Cas replied and mentally kicked himself for his inelegant reply, because he was hearing Meg saying that to him that Balthazar would for sure ask him to the prom and how he'd immediately rejected the thought of him thinking that far, which now that he started making plans without them even having gone out yet, seemed not that far fetched anymore. “I'm going with Lucas and Meg, but thank you.”

“But, Cassie. You know you are allowed to take a date there, right?” Balthazar chuckled.

“I have grown aware of that fact,” Cas rolled his eyes, thinking he might after all take a date, meaning he would pester Dean to drop him a fake emergency call so they could disappear somewhere for a quickie or two and go home early.

“Well, how about it, then?”

“I already promised them, but I'll see you there with the others,” Cas gave back, hoping he'd made it sound as non-coupley as possible.

“You're never gonna lose your virginity if you keep clamming up so much, you know?” Balthazar said, irritation on his brow.

“And how would you know that I'm a virgin?” Cas gave back harshly, because if there was anything he wasn't, it was that. He may be awkward, and a little shy at times, but it would not give Balthazar leverage to make them sleep with him just to have someone to lose their virginity with. Cas hated people who said things like that, or even worse, acted on them.

“Please, Cassie. Don't take me for a fool. You're as innocent as they come and it will be my personal mission to corrupt you.”

“There is nothing you could possibly think of that would corrupt me,” Cas snorted, because seriously? A kid like Balthazar who had maybe had a hot dream about getting a blowjob wanted to each Cas the ropes? It took all Cas' willpower not to lose it then and instead he just added: “Haven't you talked to the other members of the team, yet? Bri can confirm that he's seen me sneaking out of a room I had sex in with, you know, my boyfriend,” he tried to imitate Dean's sassy little head moves but he thought that he failed miserably.

“Yeah but that was months ago, you're not together anymore,” Balthazar stated as if it was obvious, while they finally got the store ready to be closed, and now that Cas had started really talking to the other boy, he couldn't seem to stop. And also not when Balthazar was throwing him a bone like that.

“What makes you think I'm not with him anymore?”

“Because of this?” Balthazar gestured back and forth between them as they locked the store and walked to the Italian place that Balthazar had suggested as the first (and if Cas had his way _only_ ) stop of their date.

“Just because we're doing something right now, doesn't mean I broke up with my boyfriend,” Cas shook his head.

“So you want a three player game?” Balthazar smirked but underneath it, there was clearly a bit of insecurity because his steps faltered and he drew in a sharp breath.

“No, I'm very happy with things as they are.”

“Then why are you going out with me?”

“Because, despite how happy I am, there is something about you which intrigues me. I don't know what it is, but you seem too fascinating. So I talked about it with my boyfriend and we decided I should just take you up on your insistent offer.”

“Great, so you ganged up on me?” Balthazar stopped, definitely looking hurt now. “You tricked me into this?”

Cas was stunned, and feeling more than a little guilty. He and Dean had set the other teen up, he supposed, but only because Cas thought that Balthazar didn't have any genuine feelings for him.

“I'm sorry,” he said, wanting to say that this was a bad idea and he hadn't wanted to hurt him, but he saw another smirk on Balthazar's face that didn't bode well.

“Then I'll just have to convince you that you're way better off with me than with your pimpled imp of a guy. We have so much to do, Cassie,” he tried to take Cas' hand, but Cas put them into his pockets, angry about Balthazar assuming he was better than his boyfriend and mad at himself for even apologising to the guy, because it was clear that the brief hurt he had seen on his face was just an act after all.

He felt like he didn't want to talk anymore now that Balthazar made plans for the rest of the night and how Cas could stay over at his place, to which he owned the audacity to add a saucy wink.

“We don't have to tell your boyfriend,” he leaned over when they had already taken their seats in the restaurant, Cas waiting until Balthazar had sat down so he could take the opposite site of the table to be as far away from him as possible.

“So tell me, Cassie,” Balthazar started and Cas had a sudden sinking feeling, because whatever you talked about on a date, family, friends, hobbies or the like, he knew he wouldn't want to talk about it. His dad had just died, so that was not a good conversation starter at all, Balthazar knew his close friends and his hobbies basically included apart from the swimming which he also already knew about, or getting pounded by his boyfriend. But when Balthazar went on, it wasn't in any direction that Cas had expected.

“Tell me, what sort of sex have you had already?”

“Eh... he?” Cas really did hit himself for the stupid answer, but only because his knee jerked against the table uncomfortably at the impertinent question. He was not feeling good here. The restaurant was disgustingly overheated, and he felt sweaty from a long day, his foot seemed itchy but of course he couldn't take off his shoes to scratch it and his collar seemed to choke him and the plug inside him made him feel distinctly uncomfortable now.

How did people date? He asked himself, when the waiter interrupted them for a second to take their orders and Cas gulped down half the glass of water he had filled up for him. He and Dean had never dated, they had just jumped into this and had known each other for a few years before being together. They had never done this. Going out, being entirely focused on one another with no ways to escape if you didn't wanna be rude, and having to answer questions about yourself that you'd much rather not talk about. Granted, most people went on dates, hoping they would capture the lasting interest of their sweetheart, but Cas already had his sweetheart, so he shouldn't be so damn uncomfortable right now. Or maybe the knowledge that it was completely silly made it all the more irksome for him to be here in the first place.

“Ehm...,” he rubbed his aching knee and tried to decide if he should answer Balthazar, but then decided there was no harm in it. “I've done, you know... lots of things.”

“Like what?”

“Like, um... Well, I've done it with my mouth and with my... well you know.”

“Really?” Balthazar seemed fascinated. “How's it feel?”

“It's the best feeling,” Cas said shortly, his water again in his hands, but he drank in smaller sips now because he didn't want to have to go to the bathroom, but just eat quickly and then go home.

“And you know, the other way around? How's that feel?” Balthazar just wouldn't stop.

“I haven't done that,” Cas shook his head. “I'm a bottom.”

“Like, you... uh?” Balthazar couldn't really get the words out and Cas had it. If anyone was the awkward virgin around here, it was the teen at the other side of the table and not him.

“Yeah, I like being the one that takes it, ok?” he whispered so that none of the other people in the restaurant heard him, because after all he was still just 16 and by rights shouldn't even be doing anything of the sort. “I also like dildos, vibrators, plugs, I fucking love to suck cock and I love it when my boyfriend fucks me raw and deep, or if he ties me up and is just breeding me rough.”

Balthazar, who had leaned in to catch Cas' words blushed furiously and leaned away after Cas had finished, obviously uncomfortable too now.

“So you see,” Cas added gleefully at having wiped the smirk off the other boy's face. “There is nothing that you awkward little virgin could teach me,” and with flourish, he downed the rest of his water and got up to go to the toilet after all.

Sweet relief flooded through him once he was in there and it wasn't just the physical sensation, but also the fact that he was away from Balthazar's scrutinising eyes and smirk at the moment.

“I fucking told him I would hate this,” he announced quietly to his reflection in the mirror, wiping down his face and neck too before he dried his hands. The cold water made him calm, and also staring at himself made him realise who he was.

He was Castiel Novak, sophomore in high school, son to Naomi, best friend of Lucas and Meg, serious boyfriend of the best man he'd ever met and he did not need the dumb boy out there and this whole thing had been stupid in the first place. He'd made a fool of himself at letting Balthazar's empty flirting get to him and he didn't need to let himself be treated like this, nor did he need to try and prove anything by listing all the perversions he had already partaken in. He would enjoy his ravioli and then he'd go home to the man he loved and who had gotten unnecessarily hurt because Cas just wasn't precise enough and suffered from crippling social awkwardness.

He set his jaw, looking at himself in the mirror again and nodding as if he was going into battle.

“Where were we?” Balthazar smirked once Cas sat back down seeing that their food had come during the time he had given himself a pep talk, and the conviction he had come to in the bathroom didn't waver now that he was here again.

“We were at the point where you, very inappropriately, asked me about my sex life, and I answered. Now the subject is closed.”

“Come on, you can't leave me hanging like this. I wanna know more.”

“And I do not want to tell you more,” Cas shook his head, starting to eat hastily so that he might get out of here sooner, but then he slowed down. Balthazar seemed to operate very much on the way you presented yourself, so if he knew you were uncomfortable, he made you more so.

When Cas started eating at his usual pace, he also felt himself getting calmer again and he could examine Balthazar without flinching or looking away. He was good-looking to be sure, but more than ever arrogant and full of himself.

But apparently through his calm words, he had gotten the message through to him that he didn't wanna talk about sex anymore because during dinner, Balthazar constantly complained about coach Rubens and work.

“You know you don't have to do either, you know? If it's so annoying to you, you could just pick another sport and you really don't need to work at the book shop. Once the season is over, I'll do more work on the weekend anyway and have more free time during the week.”

“So we won't share shifts anymore?”

“No, course not. One person at a time is totally enough,” Cas rolled his eyes. Had Balthazar really expected to just have to stand around, goggling at Cas' ass and urging him into a corner behind the desk all the live-long day?

Balthazar didn't seem pleased with the reply and his eyes moved rapidly as if he was thinking hard to come up with another subject, because Cas was done eating and had said to the waiter that he didn't want dessert so there was nothing but the bill keeping him here.

“Right, so do you want to get ice cream or something while we go to the dancing hall?”

“No, I am full. And I'm too tired to go dancing today,” Cas said truthfully, nodding at the waiter for the check as an obvious sign that Balthazar should admit defeat, but obviously he wouldn't just do that.

“Oh, right. Well, do you wanna come to my place, then? My parents are out because they didn't expect me to be back this early. We could watch some netflix or something.”

Cas blinked. He was maybe dating an older man, but even he knew the concept of 'netflix and chill', so he said straightforward: “No, I will not go to your house and have sex with you. I will go home and cuddle up with my boyfriend who I have to tell that he is not rid of me.”

“So your boyfriend lives at your house?” Balthazar asked and Cas had a brief moment of panic before he rescued the situation.

“Of course not. I'll call him and he'll come over.”

“Of course,” Balthazar nodded. “Because there is only that other weird kid at that house, right? Lucas, wasn't it? And he's too much of a freak to even get it up. I heard that dark haired girl saying something about asexual to him. What a fucking tart that one.”

“And she's my friend,” Cas said coldly, not impressed by Balthazar's slang and derogatory words. “And Lucas too, who happens to be asexual. If you have a problem with that you should probably stay away from the three of us.”

“Hey, I didn't mean it, ok?” Balthazar switched gears smoothly. “They're cool and all, but it's not as if they're gonna be coming on our dates or are they, Cassie?”

“No, they won't. Because there are gonna be no more dates, and my name is not Cassie. Like Meg said in the beginning: It's Castiel to you,” he stood up, handed the confused waiter who came over with the check enough bills to pay for his own food and left without ever looking back. He had wasted enough time here.

 

“Dean?” Cas whispered as he entered their completely dark bedroom an hour later.

“Yeah?” a completely awake voice answered him.

“It's me,” Cas said, tapping further into the room after closing the door and undressed himself in the dark.

“Yeah, I know that,” Dean said in a muffled voice, keeping quiet while the teen threw his clothes away and he didn't move when he wormed his way into his arms without giving him time to object.

“It's good to be home,” Cas sighed into Dean's t shirt, finally content.

Dean didn't say anything for a few minutes, but when Cas didn't start to explain, he shook him a little.

“How was your date?”

“Horrible,” Cas sighed, too happy here to feel the whole wave of hate for the evening he had felt on the way here.

“So what does that mean?” Dean asked and Cas grew angry at the little pained hitch in Dean's throat.

“It means that you're an assbutt for thinking I'd ever leave you, and that I talked to mom about not moving out. We decided that mom needs her own space and entry upstairs which is why we'll need to remodel and probably also expand a little because she needs her own kitchen and a living room and a bedroom and a bathroom where she can just relax after long days at work, and-”

“Were you ever planing on asking me about remodelling my house before you called the contractors?” Dean asked in a choked voice.

“No?” Cas chuckled and burrowed his head closer to Dean's chest. “Because you said that you don't want me to move out, so I'm making arrangements to ensure that I won't. And I know I can't let mom live on her own, she'd hate it.”

“So you'll stay? With me?” Dean seemed overwhelmed, and hugged Cas tightly.

“Yes,” Cas simply said, not wanting to say aloud how dumb he thought Dean was for ever thinking that he'd leave. Cas had found the necessary conviction to believe in the two of them, and it seemed that now Dean had found it too, because Cas felt the mattress quiver before he felt Dean shaking and then finally he heard him sobbing, like a wave starting small and getting higher before it crashed to the shore, which in Dean's case was one with ripping Cas into his arms and loving him as gently as they'd never done it before.

Gone was the roughness and the 'mine' shouts of the previous week as Dean fumbled the plug out of Cas, and thrust into him, and Cas could only hold him as they moved together steamily, short moans and whispered words of affection the only thing heard.

“You went on a date with me inside you,” Dean whispered, tracing Cas' jawbone with a finger as he rocked into him.

“Mhmm, I did. But I didn't need the load of come to know I'm yours and yours alone.”

“I love you,” Dean mumbled.

“I love you too... ah please, right there.”

“I know, sweetheart. I know how you like it.”

“You feel so good inside me, my love,” Cas whispered, licking the shell of Dean's ear.

Dean chuckled, never stopping to move: “That one's sticking, right? I like it, baby.”

“Yes, it will,” Cas said firmly, finally spiralling higher and not able to talk anymore as Dean rode him through his orgasm before coming himself.

They just lay there afterwards, Cas hands lazily exploring Dean's back with his legs still hooked around him.

“I really had a horrible time, and the guy is arrogant and not worth getting flustered about.”

“Babe, can you not talk about that while I'm still inside you? Because I really don't feel like pulling out tonight,” Dean panted.

“Nor would I want you too, but Dean? I have to talk about this. And I think I am finally ready to hear about you and Andrea.”

Dean's head moved and even though it was dark, Cas could make out the older man's frown, even before he heard it in his voice: “Really?”

“Yes, really. You tell me everything I need to know about the two of you, but I need to be as close to you as I can while you do that, so please stay inside me.”

“Alright,” Dean nodded, but turned them into a more comfortable position before starting to speak.


	37. Chapter 37

“What do you wanna know?” he sighed and swallowed a little, holding Cas in his arms as if he still couldn't believe he was really here and would suddenly disappear if he didn't hold on to him tightly enough.

“I wanna know everything. For instance, if you'd have met me while she was still alive, would you have left her to me with me?”

“No, I wouldn't have.”

“Oh, ok,” Cas tried hard not to be heartbroken about Dean's statement.

“I wouldn't have ripped my family apart to be with you,” Dean explained. “I would have died a little on the inside whenever I'd have seen you, and imagined our life together, but I wouldn't have done anything about it and I wouldn't have cheated on her.”

“I thought we were soulmates,” Cas said quietly.

“We are. But if things were as you said, we wouldn't be together.”

“And if she had kicked you to the curb?”

“I would've been in your pants faster than you could blink,” Dean chuckled, but then sobered up before Cas could join into his laughter. “And then I'd feel a tiny hint of sadness, even when we would've gotten together, every time I'd think about the family I no longer had.”

“Do you feel that sadness now?”

“No, I don't. I did my grieving, and I'm happy to have met her, and that I'm lucky enough to have the honour to call her son my own.”

“I understand,” Cas smiled into the darkness, caressing Dean's arm that was draped over his own torso. “So, how did you meet?”

“We went out in high school a couple of times, but it was never anything serious. Dating was fun and I in particular didn't want any commitment. Had a few girlfriends and secretly some boyfriends too. It was the time... and my dad.”

“That's why you didn't tell your whole family about you being bi?”

“That's part of it, and it just never came up until I presented them with my first real boyfriend about a month ago. Fun times, huh? You imagine my mom and Sam reacted badly? Dad would've fucking lost it.”

“So he never knew?”

“No, and I actually don't mind it. If we'd have had the big coming out, I would've resented whatever homophobic bullshit would've come out of his mouth, so it's good that I don't have to think about that whenever I remember him, because I know it would've come.”

“A hint of sadness,” Cas nodded.

“Yeah. Anyway, Lucas' dad was a friend too, and I didn't mind that he took Andrea to the prom. Later Dwayne became a cop and Andrea and him had gotten married just after graduating, probably because Lucas was already on the way. They got along well enough but it was no big love between the two. If you ask me, their parents made them marry.”

“That's sad. There should be two people in a marriage, not three. I mean a child should not factor into two people wanting or not wanting to stay together. It's not good for anyone if that's the reason something that wasn't meant to be carries on.”

“That's a very wise thing to say, Cas. Where's it coming from?”

“Mom and dad. I wonder what would've happened if I hadn't come along... sometimes I think it would've been better for mom if I wouldn't exist.”

“Hey,” Dean said softly. “If you wouldn't exist, my cock would be cold now.”

Cas opened his eyes, thought about it for a second and then snorted out a hoarse laugh that grew and grew so that it wouldn't stop for minutes.

“Sorry,” Dean snickered into his ear, lightly nibbling at it until Cas' laughter ebbed up and was replaced with a satisfied moan before Dean went on. “I just don't wanna hear about you not being born. I don't even want to imagine a world without you. I would never have known the sort of feelings you make me feel.”

“Might have been easier though.”

“No, it wouldn't have been. Now stop it with the coulda-shoulda-woulda garbage,” he groused, tugging at Cas' earlobe by taking it between his lips and pulling a bit.

“Not one for philosophical debates, are you?” Cas snickered, reaching back to stroke over Dean's neck and play with his hairline, but also to make him stop teasing him, because it made him horny.

“Nope, not if they involve you not being here with me anymore. I don't wanna play the who's happier game. The one who never learned to love or who lost his love. That's depressing, and I've already felt bad enough because of his whole English kid deal.”

“Sorry about that,” Cas said with a blush. “But you could've just waited this afternoon and I'd have told you that there was nothing to worry about.”

“And I wouldn't have wanted to hear it, not until you were sure that you actually can't stand the kid. Even if I do admit that he's good-looking.”

“But there isn't any substance to him, and he doesn't even care for me. He said it would be ok for him if I kept doing things with you and with him.”

“Next time I see him, I'll rip his lungs out,” Dean became agitated. “How dare he not have real feelings for you? And really, he wanted you to cheat?”

“Yes, he did. See, you've already proven yourself a thousand times better than he is by not wanting to cheat. And by the way, you're mad at him if you think he likes me _and_ you're mad at him that he doesn't?”

“Yeah, because anyone not in love with you is obviously leading their life wrong. And everyone loving you and wanting to take you away deserves their dicks cut off.”

“You're very violent,” Cas grinned.

“Damn straight, because you're mine.”

“That's back?”

“Yep, if you want it to be.”

“Absolutely. It brings out the primal urges in your eyes.”

“Be nice or no sex for a week.”

“Mean! Mean, sexy, wonderful old man Dean.”

“Stop wriggling your hips, I wasn't finished with the story,” Dean steadied Cas' now very distinctly horny movements.

“Mean, grumpy, withholding Dean,” Cas pouted.

“You get a breeding when we're done talking.”

“A rough one?”

“A rough one, my sweet baby boy,” Dean assured him like he would to a five year old who got promised sweets but didn't want to wait until they were actually bought.

“Deal.”

“Ok, so. Andrea and her husband lived together, more or less ok. But yeah I mentioned, he was a cop, right? Yeah, um... There was this case of his. Organised crime ring that his team took out. Apparently the gangsters didn't like losing some of their best men to a razzia and to prison. So, they kidnapped some of the police officer's kids.”

“Lucas too?” Cas clapped his hands in front of his mouth.

“Yeah, Lucas too. He was five. They threatened to kill them all one by one if they wouldn't get their men back, or at least get the police officers responsible for it. Lot of horrible stuff happened. In the end, three police men died. Lucas' dad was one of them. And he saw it, before the rest of the mob got taken out and the kids were saved.”

Cas couldn't speak, couldn't even think about something so horrible happening to someone, least of all a friend.

“He doesn't remember too much, these days,” Dean went on. “I heard about what happened while I was at college and when I came home the next weekend, mom insisted on me showing my respects. Lucas was real quiet, downright spooky for a kid and I kinda bonded with him first. I was awkward around Andrea, flirting because I didn't know what else to do. From there on there's not much to tell, actually. I can't see a dog suffer much less a friend and a kid, so after that weekend coming home I was invested. Helped them both to get better and after about a year, Andrea and I noticed that we'd fallen in love and decided to get hitched.”

“No passion? Just slowly falling for the other?”

“There was enough of everything. I was happy for the time it lasted and sad when Lucas and me lost her. Breast cancer. She thought she was pregnant because they started hurting. What I am thankful for is that she went quick, because by the time it was found it had already spread into all the major organs and there was nothing to be done except do a road trip to California and have her see the sea for a last time. She still looked the same when she was put into the ground, maybe a little thinner and as if nothing was the matter with her, because she decided against prolonging chemo or anything.”

“I'm sorry, that had to be really hard on you. How do you feel about her now?”

“We were partners for a while, and we were good together. My life would not be the same had I not had her, but it's not the same love that I feel for you. With Andrea it was smooth and comfortable, and with you it's fiery, challenging and every word I can possibly think of to describe us.”

They both lay there thinking about the story, or seeing memories pass by, and Cas was thinking about people being able to love more than one person, when Dean whispered into his ear: “But you oughta know, baby: I love you more than I ever loved her, and that scares me sometimes. I didn't know I could feel so deeply at all. Something like the two of us doesn't happen all that often, you know?”

“But nevertheless you did love her too, and that's ok,” Cas said and really felt it; there was no sting of jealousy. Just because Cas didn't have a romantic past didn't mean that Dean wasn't allowed to have one, and it would've actually been weird if he hadn't. He had heard that there was something wrong with guys who didn't get married in their 30s and they they might be unable to ever really commit. Whereas Dean was Mr. Commitment and he might not have been had he not found someone worth committing to. Cas thanked Andrea in his thoughts though he'd never met her, for helping form Dean into the man who had told him this afternoon to choose only him with tears in his eyes.

But there were still a few questions left in Cas' mind.

“So, how much gay experience do you have, really? And do you prefer guys over girls?”

“I can't give you a percentage. I've been in two relationships, one man, one woman... Stop grinning about me calling you a man, boy,” he groused as if he physically felt the smile lift the corners of Cas' mouth and he tugged on Cas' earlobe again.

“Ok, completely serious now. Do go on,” Cas said with an obvious smirk in his voice.

“Ok, like I said: A woman and an immature kid with the hottest ass and dirtiest mind ever. Before Andrea it was pretty much 50/50, but during that time it really didn't matter to me with whom I had sex, the thing that counted was _having_ it. Afterwards, I um... turned kinkier, I guess? I used to be vanilla, always making sure my partners enjoyed themselves before I could let go enough to come myself. I had a pretty rough time after she died and was in for a lot of rebound fucks and more and more those turned to be gay. That's also when I learned that I am dominant in bed, and taking care of my sub was what I was best at.”

“And somewhere down the road you developed a taste for twinks?”

“Yeah, I did. But don't make it sound like it's just that. I mean you're basically everything I ever dreamt of when it comes to sex, but I liked you as a person long before you invited be to tap your ass. You're great, and you make me laugh and you're just genuinely the one for me. If you were my age, I would've told you about my fantasies and you would've agreed to be my boy as well. Your age, and not even your lanky, cock-hungry body really matter since it's just play. I'd love you just as much if you'd be all filled out and twenty years older.”

“But it _does_ help, doesn't it?” Cas wriggled his hips again, with Dean encouraging him at once this time.

“Hell yeah, and also how quick you pulled out the Daddy kink card. Where did that come from?”

“Well, maybe you're not the only one who had some fantasies. In my case it's a sexy, older man with wrinkles around his eyes when he smiles and a perfect cock to stretch me open,” Cas turned, pressed Dean down and sat up on him, moving up and down while he talked.

“Maybe I've always wanted these calloused hands to stroke my cheek, grip my chest, and then take my dick into a stroking hold,” Cas guided Dean's hands down.

“Maybe I've dreamt about this mouth falling open because of how good I can make you feel, or for those eyes to grow dark with how much you want to come inside me,” Cas stopped talking for a bit which allowed them both to come, Dean thrusting into him and Cas grinding down, making himself tight until they huffed out air and spasmed through their climaxes.

“And maybe, just maybe I dreamt about seeing your face express how much you love me and how happy I make you. And how I would tell you that you're everything to me and the one and only person I'll ever love and want to be with. And if that ever happened and I could tell you that, I would say that that makes me the happiest immature child with a size kink in the world.”

“I fucking love you too you little shit. You and your theoretical, philosophical crap.”

 

The following weeks were some of the best of Cas' life and from how much Dean seemed to enjoy himself, it was evident that it was his too. They were milling about each other all the time, not able to stop touching or kissing, happy to have a lot of rocks out of the way now.

Naomi's eyes shone brightly at the prospect of remodelling the house and she told Dean that she would pay for all the necessary construction measures herself, so that she could think about it partly being her house as well, since Dean refused to have her buying herself in, and just let her name be put on the deed for the house.

“If we're really remodelling, I want a bedroom upstairs and you can make the master bedroom bigger. And preferably soundproof,” Lucas grinned about the positive vibes between his father and Cas these days.

Naomi too seemed relieved but didn't press the issue with Cas again, seeing as they were happy and there was no more tensed shouting that had her and Lucas flee so they wouldn't have to bear witness to the excessive angry sex that followed.

Nevertheless they did have angry sex, and kinky sex and loving sex and downright filthy sex. Cas continued his way of exploring his kinks and the black negligee that he had worn for their pool party wasn't his only one anymore by far.

“Love that sweet blush on your face, baby,” Dean said one evening, bending Cas low onto the window sill and exposing his ass with by riding his baby doll up and pushing his black thong out the way. “Now let everyone see how much of a slut you are for my cock.”

“Oh yes, please use me, Daddy,” Cas panted against the window, his breath condensing on it. “Make everyone see how well my little hole takes it.”

“Yeah, that's it,” Dean groaned as he came, pinching Cas' nipples underneath the lace and staring at the tall bush in front of his window that completely obscured them from view. “Thank you for not really having an exhibitionism kink,” he panted, jerked Cas who shoved back onto his still hard dick, desperate to come.

“Just for you,” he moaned, his mouth slack and his hold on the window sill white-knuckled as he fucked himself hard, knowing that it wouldn't be long 'til Dean got soft inside him, but luckily he came before that, clenching down on the length inside his ass, pressing it to his prostate as he came on Dean's hand.

“See,” he panted when he got up proudly, his gaze hooded and his body humming. “I attracted your attention, therefore I have an exhibitionism kink.”

“That's only part of that, and you know it,” Dean chuckled, but tugged his baby in with him without saying more. Cas' heart swelled at being wrapped into their blanket and watched over while he fell asleep.

 

The party at Emily's was pretty ok, even though Meg disappeared for an hour and they didn't know where to find her until she came back, saying she was really tired and wanted to go home. That was alright with everyone, Cas wanted to get back to Dean, and Lucas needed to put some more hours into final fantasy before bed.

Meg seemed to behave all sorts of odd ever since the party though, and reacted more vicious than ever to Balthazar, actually slapping him across the face one day which got her even more detention.

“You can't let him get to you,” Cas repeated her own words.

“I know, Clarence. But ever since he's stopped being after you, he's set his eyes on me, while me and Lucas... don't look like there'll be something happening there. I think we should just be friends after all. I'm not cut out for an asexual relationship.”

“So what, you're thinking Balthazar is a better bet?”

“I don't know, not for anything real, but-”

“Meghara Masters, you punched that guy in the face because you loathe him so much!”

“I know, but he can be charming when he wants to be.”

“Please tell me you're not really thinking about it,” Cas took her by the shoulders.

“No, of course not,” Meg smirked as if he was being ridiculous but couldn't meet his gaze for more than a second and afterwards continued to be odd sometimes, or cancelled on them just two hours before they were supposed to hang out.

Cas knew he'd have to talk to her about that sometime soon, but for now he was just too damn happy to have Meg's absence pop his happy balloon. The swimming season ended in March, and ever since Balthazar had heard that he would not compete, he had quit and chosen to play football instead, which he had never done and was rubbish at.

Dean had made them go to a game and had cheered loudly whenever Balthazar got tackled so he kissed the ground.

“You know you're not supposed to cheer for the other team, right dad?”

“There are some things that you just don't understand,” Dean ruffled through Lucas' hair and then jumped up: “Nice work, 3. Kick him while he's down, will ya?”

Cas only smiled about Dean's vindictiveness, but whispered into his ear because people started to notice: “You can coach me when we're home. I think I'm not good enough to make the team, Sir.”

“You will be when I'm finished with you,” Dean mumbled and had to sit down if he didn't want to let everyone see the boner he had gotten because of Cas' words.

Playing bad Daddy Coach only added to their repertoire of perversions, even more so when swim training was cut down to only once a week and Cas took up soccer practice just for the fun of it on another day and usually ran home without changing to Dean, who awaited him with a whistle around his neck and a hard on in his pants.

“Have you worked hard today, boy?”

“No, Daddy. I completely slacked off during practice,” Cas lied even when Dean lifted his sweaty shirt off his back and kicked his legs apart, fondling Cas' just as sweaty shorts before pushing them down over his knee high socks and shin guards.

“Well, guess I have to train you by myself then,” Dean huffed before sticking his face into Cas' crack.

“Oh yes, Daddy, please. No one trains me as well as you,” Cas moaned, loving Dean's rough massage of his ass and his tongue licking into his crack.

 

Work was much more relaxed too, even though Cas now worked for more hours but only on weekends. Balthazar had decided not to peruse a career as a bookseller after all and a kid that Cas hardly talked to in school before this because he was part of the nerd clique turned out be be pretty cool.

Garth was tall and very thin and no matter how hard he tried to clean his face, he always sported at least one zit. But he was funny and a little off, so he and Cas got along famously.

Dean thought Cas' new friend had a few screws loose and he hugged people too much, but after a while Garth seemed to grow on him too.

A week before spring break, Dean surprised Cas with telling him he had booked a cabin in a forsaken streak of land, just for the two of them and that they would stay there for a week before coming back to celebrate Easter with the family.

“What?” Cas asked when he looked at the log cabin that Dean had booked for them and then saw all three of his housemates smirk at him. “You all knew he was gonna do that, and you didn't tell me?”

“That's it, yes,” Naomi grinned. “Me and Lucas will have a great time while you're gone, don't worry.”

“We'll not have a break as wacky as the last one,” Lucas beamed and honest to god highfived her. Cas looked back and forth between them. Somewhere down the road, Naomi seemed to have grown into a friend/mother for Lucas as well, and more than ever Cas was glad she hadn't moved out because Lucas really needed her, and Cas was happy to share.

“What do you think?” Dean asked, a little apprehensively because Cas hadn't commented on how he liked his surprise.

“I think, fuck nuclear families, I love mine much more and absolutely. I wanna go on vacation with you, but you have to promise to kill any bears that threaten me.”

“I'll kill them with my bare hands if they dare to come near my prince.”

“Gross,” Lucas hollered out and refused to help them packing as punishment for snogging in front of him, which Cas was pretty relieved about because if he thought kissing, or being cute with each other was gross, Lucas wouldn't at all like Cas' fine wear, or understand why he packed his soccer dress, and least of all the other stuff to play with he packed into his suitcase, with only a handful of them coming with controllers.


	38. Chapter 38

“Can I finally stop? My fingers hurt,” Cas pouted.

“I can't have you come back from this trip without you being able to strum the intro to 'Nothing else matters',” Dean said as if it would be an unparalleled scandal if Cas wouldn't be able to pull off the e minor arpeggio of the Metallica song.

It was their first day in Colorado, and Dean had driven them into Colorado Springs at first, to get some supplies but then he had abducted Cas to a cabin that was far enough out of town that no one who wasn't a very adventurous tourist would make their way here, which was good insofar that Dean and Cas had sex on the porch swing and nobody was the wiser of it. But it also brought with itself the very unpleasant sensation of Cas having to endure hours of sitting at a campfire with him having to remind Dean not to eat too much or he'd be to sleepy to have a goodnight fuck, and of jamming with the guitar Dean couldn't have been dissuaded from taking with him.

Cas grumbled a bit, he loved wild untamed nature, but out here there was nothing at all, and he had been really cold which was why he jumped Dean's bones as soon as he could so they could warm themselves up. The cabin was pretty rustic too, a real hideaway for people who didn't want to be found, or paid much heed to indoor plumbing or central heating, which was why Dean had insisted on making a campfire to warm them up before they went to sleep in the clammy cold of the damp cabin.

After Dean had gotten the guitar out of it's dusty casing with an almost reverent expression and had handed it to Cas to teach him all the things he knew, his mood had not improved in the slightest. He had tried to learn intro to 'Smoke on the Water' and 'Nothing else Matters' for the whole time that Dean had collected wood and got a fire starting, and Cas' fingers, which weren't used to pressing hard strings, really hurt now.

“If I start bleeding, it's your fault.”

“ _Played until my fingers bled_ ,” Dean sang.

“Oh please, not another thing I have to learn,” Cas groaned.

“You're such a pussy sometimes.”

“Yes, I am,” Cas huffed out in frustration. “So why aren't you using it already? The quickie this afternoon was just a tie over, but it will not do to see you looking all flushed in the fire shine and me being on in your lap, but with a torture instrument on my lap.”

“Ah, don't listen to the bad boy, baby,” Dean pulled the guitar out of Cas' arms and put it gently back into it's case.

“I'm your baby! Not a bad boy. Did anything you asked of me, so...” his words trailed off in a hopeful way and when Dean only sat there and smirked at him, Cas scuttled over and finally straddled the older man with a content sigh at being able to rub their jeansclad crotches over each other and bathe in the warmth of the finally big enough fire.

“I'm a good boy,” he whispered, lacing his arms around Dean's shoulders, humping him so the seams of their trousers produced friction. “See, I'm wearing jeans, and your Led Zeppelin t shirt, and I got silky manties on underneath.”

“Manties?”

“Panties where my dick fits in perfectly, man-ties,” Cas inched closer.

“I swear you'll be the death of me, kid,” Dean groaned out, his eager hands opening Cas' zipper. “You weren't wearing those this afternoon...” he squeezed Cas' cock gently, making him hop up so he could pull his trousers down.

“Can't go commando all the time,” Cas chuckled, his breath hitching about how he just hadn't felt like underwear this morning and had been in a semi state of arousal all throughout the drive just thinking about Dean's shocked but pleased face once he unpacked him.

After their first round at their holiday home, Cas had slipped into the panties and now he snickered about Dean's face going lax as he played over the little bows on the lace trimming and how fascinating Dean seemed to find it to get Cas rock hard inside his underwear until drops of precome stained the material.

By that time, Cas had long turned horny, moaning out: “Please, oh Dean, please. Stop teasing me, mhmm,” in various different words over and over.

“What do you want, my boy?”

“You,” Cas breathed out.

“You sure?”

Cas groaned, rolling his eyes. “Of course I'm sure!”

“Forever?”

“Yes, of course,” he groused.

“Well then: Will you marry me?”

“Yes, yes, I will,” Cas brushed Dean's words aside, not even really registering them. “But can you please- … What?”

“Marry me,” Dean repeated himself, stopping to make Cas crazy with his hands and just holding on to him.

“For real?” Cas asked.

“Yes. I want to marry you and I've had permission from your mother ever since we first talked about you and me.”

“You... you... I'm half naked!” Cas bit out angrily. “My manties are ruined, I haven't eaten yet, because your stupid campfire makes you look fucking perfect but the stupid thing also takes forever to heat up the potato stew you insisted on making, my fingers hurt from having to learn stupid songs in these stupid mountains in the stupid cold and you're asking me to marry you?”

“Yes,” Dean stated.

“Fuck you, of course I will,” Cas crashed their mouths together, and didn't let Dean object as he laid down, grabbing the older man so he loomed over him. “You fucking planned all of this, didn't you?” he fumed as he ripped Dean's pants open and slipped out of his own, opening his legs.

“Of course I did,” Dean beamed, radiating happiness even when he pushed Cas' panties out of the way, and smiled even wider tugging a plug out of the boy.

Cas keened as Dean fucked into him, the fire shading them both hot red as Dean lowered himself on him, thrusting forward and Cas clutched lightly to Dean's back. He wanted to urge Dean to go harder like he usually would, but just found himself reaching up with a strangled sigh, gently kissing and letting Dean run the show who thrust steady and perfect, still grinning even into their kiss.

“Romantic enough for you, baby?” he cooed, and Cas rolled his eyes about his choice of friends. Obviously Dean had been consorting with Meg as well and she had told him about Cas' craving to have this be romantic instead of just saying yes out of a legal need.

“It's cheesy as fuck, ok?” he rolled his eyes, squinting his eyes at Dean when he stopped moving for too long.

“Enjoy the moment,” he commanded.

“Can't,” Cas blinked with a shiver running through him, milking Dean's cock to induce him to go on, but Dean wouldn't budge, so he explained with a put upon sigh: “If I do, I cry.”

“Then do,” Dean let go of his hold, pressing himself to Cas with his whole body, moving again and kissing him passionately.

A single drop rolled onto Cas' cheek but it wasn't his own tear which finally brought him to lose it.

His eyes filled with water and he clutched Dean to him as the tears spilled over and he sobbed while smiling: “Yes, yes, yes. I'll say yes a thousand times.”

“You don't have to,” Dean answered, sniffling a bit himself. “Just once is enough.”

“Yes,” Cas said, his lip quivering out of control, and the familiar rush starting to build.

He came with Dean's hand around him who felt that Cas was close. The boy's neck was bending up so he could breathe in sharply, riding out the waves and whispering: “Come inside me, Dean. Please,” and before he was completely finished he felt Dean's thrusts becoming edged and the older man collapsing on him, his hands big and warm on the boy's thighs as he pumped his seed into him.

“I'm engaged,” Cas chuckled, playing with tufts of Dean's hair who nodded tiredly as he laid his head onto Cas' chest.

“I have a ring for you,” he panted after a minute, moving up to face the boy. “It's inside though because I hadn't really planned on proposing tonight. But you were so grumpy and cold and beautiful and then you were close all of a sudden and I couldn't keep from asking right away.”

“Everyone knew this was what this vacation was about?”

“Yeah, they did. When you had your date with Balthazar I brought Meg over to ours and we discussed it all. Me and Naomi already put everything in order for the marriage license. She explicitly gave her consent and everything.”

“So we just need to hand that in and then it can all start immediately?”

“Yeah, pretty much. And in our case, we should really do that soon, you know. I'm not even thinking big reception or anything, just something in our garden, with the family. I wanna celebrate but to make a huge deal out of it wouldn't be wise.”

“That sounds good, actually. My family, your family, Meg and Garth. It will just be like a small party.”

“You're ok with that?”

“Sure,” Cas beamed. “I don't know what Meg told you, but this here was as romantic as it could get and that's exactly what I wanted. I just didn't want any obligation to have to do this, you see?”

“Yeah, I get it. And it's not as if we couldn't wait. I hope you know that. I'd be just as happy to marry you when you're 23 or 58 or-”

“16,” Cas beamed. “Other people get a car, I get to be a Winchester.”

“You wanna... uh?” Dean's voice broke.

“I want your name, yes,” Cas beamed, kissing Dean's cheek and trying not to blush about it, but he failed.

“Awww, my baby is so cute,” Dean teased.

“Says the guy who proposed because of my manties and my runny nose,” Cas bit back and he would've clapped his own back for the quick rejoinder but because he and Dean were still all tangled up together he didn't want to let go for even a second to do the sassy motion.

“Maybe I should just marry them instead of you,” Dean thumped over the sticky mess that were Cas fancy panties now. “And you just happen to wear them and only them to the service.”

“Well, maybe I will. I guess uncle Crowley could work that into his motto for the day. I want him to be the wedding planer, by the way” a cheeky grin spread over Cas' face.

“You wouldn't,” Dean deadpanned.

“Sure would, since he... well, is one,” Cas grinned.

“Why did you never tell me?”

“I am allowed to have some secrets of my own, right? Because he's already started planning everything since he's met you. He almost blew up my phone with all the things he sent me. And he's just waiting for the starting signal.”

“I guess I deserve it for going behind your back on this. Bring on the creepy uncle wedding planner,” Dean said with a doleful expression as they finally got off the ground and Cas rubbed his butt because it felt like he had pins and needles in it from being pressed to the ground with Dean's weight for so long.

“And I want my ring now,” Cas wreathed himself around the larger man.

“Ok, sure. But you know I had literally no idea what to get you. I had no guidance to what you might like so I went with Meg, again. And she said you'd probably enjoy something classic engagement like,” Dean rummaged around in his duffel bag which he had brought out because it contained his cooking gear and then produced a ring box, opened it with shaky fingers and showed the classic ring with a single solitaire diamond to the boy.

Cas looked at the ring, tilting his head to the side, and apparently pondering how he'd feel about wearing this for the rest of his life.

“I love it,” he finally beamed.

“Really?” Dean seemed a little unsure about the long time it had taken for Cas to say anything. “You know you don't have to, right? If you don't like it, we can just pretend I never showed this to you and we pick something else up, or just waive the engagement ring... thing,” he paused because Cas had crept close again, holding onto his face and coaxing it up to focus on him.

“Dean, I really love it, ok? It's not too girly or anything and just pretty enough, and you picked it for me. That makes it perfect. Now will you get that thing on my hand or will I have to do it myself?”

“Who the hell made you boss?” Dean asked distractedly as he pulled the ring from it's box and put it onto Cas' left hand with shaking fingers. “There, happy now?” he groused, picking him up and putting him back onto his lap, while he pulled the pot with their dinner up to see if it was done already.

“Yes,” Cas huffed out satisfied and marvelling the contrast of the white gold and his tanned skin. “But, Dean? Enjoy the moment,” he smiled and laid his head on the older man's chest to stop him from being grumpy.

“Touché,” Dean chuckled.

They didn't get any sleep that night, celebrating their engagement the way they did best. They sat by the fire until it completely burned out, having sex when they felt like it and when it started to dawn, they went inside, huddling together under tons of blankets, having sex once more.

They didn't play any roles, not this night. This time they were just Dean and Cas, coming together because they needed each other, and also to show each other the depth of their feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, everyone gather round please. Announcement time.
> 
> I set the number of chapters for this story. It's gonna be 45 in total. But I also made it a series, and I'm planning on making it a trilogy with several time stamps. Boom, let that sink in for a while^^ So bookmark or subscribe to the series if you wanna know what's going on with them in the next two stories, which will be called Ascension and Completion.
> 
> Now, I have a question for y'all. This story is an exclusively bottom!Cas one, but I am interested if some of you maybe want to see the boy top the Daddy, which I would do time stamps for. (Done it before in my other major verse, so I know it's working better that way.) I'm a bottom!Cas person (duh!) but just so see if some of you would like to read that, I'm enquiring if there is interest for the other way around, as that sometimes happens and there are versatile Daddy Doms out there. If you wanna see that done, let me know. 
> 
> Furthermore, some maybe not so good news for anyone keenly invested in this particular verse. I won't be picking it up for a while once this first one is finished, as I am gonna focus on my other projects, An unusual Self-Portrait (so much Daddy kink, I think I have a compulsion), my lengthy and complex A/B/O story, my Walking Dead/Sleepy Hollow/Supernatural crossover and *drumroll* my second DCBB. 
> 
> If I were to start Ascension during that time, I couldn't guarantee to update regularly, so I'm thinking about postponing it until after I finished up some of the other things, the DCBB first and foremost because that's gonna be a longer story and has a deadline. But if you are willing to put up with random hiatuses in the story (which I would announce of course, so that you don't have to worry about it being abandoned) I could work on the next part simultaneously. Again a thing you should let me know about.
> 
> And also, I remain amazed at the popularity of this fic. The interest in it is spectacular and also the main reason why it turned out to be the huge thing it is now. I am truly humbled by everyone's support and that is what kept me going so far. I hope many of you will continue this journey with me and the boys, since I've long ago abandoned the thought that this was not as deeply lodged in my heart and brain as it truly is. I kept thinking: 'No, you gotta give them another chapter, they like it,' and kept trying to convince myself that it is not my lovechild. 100,000 words later, I have to own it though, this fic is my baby and it has helped me to get through a very trying and work intensive time in my life. 
> 
> Tl;dr Series pick up official, trilogy going to happen, love y'all. ;)


	39. Chapter 39

Somewhere between the last orgasm and dawn they must've fallen asleep for a few hours, because when Cas came back to, it was to the smell of coffee, frying bacon and a wood fire burning in the age old cast-iron oven in the kitchen.

“Woah there, baby,” Dean chuckled and caught him when Cas tapped towards him, his hair a mess and his eyes nearly closed, otherwise he might have walked straight into the oven.

He laid his neck on Dean's shoulder, mumbling: “Coffee,” nearly falling asleep again and only snapping out of it whenever Dean moved.

“You're so fucked,” the older man chuckled, pressing Cas to his side with his arm, kissing him whenever he had a hand free which to his great sorrow, slowly woke the boy up kiss by kiss. “How are you this morning, sweetheart?”

“Sore,” Cas croaked, a cup of coffee pressed into his hands and his still sleepy body dragged around until he found himself on the couch, sitting in Dean's lap. “I might not move away from here the whole day, just fyi,” he moaned, settling against Dean's chest, loving to be encased by strong arms immediately.

“Well, I think you have to move because the breakfast isn't all here, yet.”

“Can't you just feed me bacon and be done with it for the day?” Cas grumbled, making himself extra heavy as if that would keep Dean immobile and with him on the couch.

“Give it up for the pancakes I'm gonna make you,” Dean chuckled about Cas' cuddly grumpy morning person.

“Only for them,” he conceded and let Dean get up to finish making breakfast. He eyed him up now that he could keep his eyes open from caffeine stimulation and noticed that there was a bowl with pancake mixture on the scratched table close to the oven but what he found more fascinating than the prospect of breakfast was the shimmer of skin that showed in the space between Dean's t shirt and his shorts whenever he moved.

“Why aren't you cooking for me naked?” Cas pouted, and suddenly registered that he himself was all in the nude and that he hadn't even noticed so far. He snickered childishly, reaching down and toying with himself, tracing the dried stains of come that must have leaked out of him and down his legs sometime during the night.

“Because the whole oven is hot and with you looking like that... and doing what you're doing there,” Dean let his words trail off, stacking pancakes neatly and putting bacon onto another plate before he came back, wriggling his hips in Cas' vision for a second, an obvious bulge showing. “Let's just say my erection and the oven don't match as well as it does with your ass.”

“But I know what also matches,” Cas freed Dean's cock as soon as the older man sat down, eagerly sucking it into his mouth before Dean had even sat down properly.

“Babe,” Dean groaned out with emphasis, his hands tangling in Cas' hair. “I thought we were having breakfast.”

“I am,” Cas moaned deeply, letting Dean's cock pop out for a second before sucking it all the way down again.

“If come had any nutritional value, I'd never get you off my dick, right? Mhmm, fuck baby, you know I love it when you look up at me like that. Uhh, yeah. Can you play with..., ah great, you're so good, mmm.”

Cas stuck his hand in Dean's shorts, fondling his balls, slightly tugging while he kept sucking until Dean came apart inside his mouth and he swallowed it all down.

“Yummy,” he moaned. “Thanks for breakfast, Daddy.”

“You drive me crazy, Cas,” Dean grinned with a completely exhausted expression as he tugged himself back in.

“I hope so,” Cas grinned, finally now his hunger for Dean's cock was stilled, able to eat something of more sustenance. He grinned at Dean's still flabbergasted expression at the impromptu blow job and said with pancake in his mouth: “I fucking love to suck you, ok? If it were socially acceptable, I would just attach myself to you everywhere you go, doesn't matter where or when you're inside of me. What, why're you looking at me like that? I would.”

Dean just shook his head with another smile, finally digging into his own breakfast.

Once their plates were empty, Cas jumped up and wanted to carry everything over to the sink when his face fell, thinking about how he had to pump cold water through the rusty contraption before he could clean up and heard a chuckle behind himself.

He turned around to Dean, still watching him with the same wondrous expression.

“Doesn't matter, baby,” Dean seemed to guess what was on his mind. “Let's have a shower.”

“Which is also gonna be cold,” Cas pouted.

“Not if we make it hot,” Dean chuckled and pulled the boy along.

 

“You lied,” his teeth clattered 20 minutes later as Dean wrapped him in blankets, so that Cas mumbled something about being a human burrito as Dean slid into position on top of him, rubbing his limbs and staring at him with the same worshipping expression again.

“Why're you looking at me like that all the time?” he asked, his lips feeling cold as they moved to form words.

“Like what?”

“Like I'm your sun and stars.”

Dean chuckled, hiding his face in the nook of Cas' neck: “I should never have got you hooked on Game of Thrones, babe,” he avoided giving an answer to Cas' question.

“Too late,” Cas beamed, pressing his still cold lips to Dean's neck as revenge for making him have a cold shower.

“I've corrupted you in more than one way, haven't I?”

“Yeah,” Cas grinned. “I told you once about how much it sucked to be named after an angel, right? Did you know that this Christmas and probably also Easter will be the first in my life that I did not attend church on? Talk about corruption.”

“Okay...”, Dean drew out the word to show his disbelief at what he was hearing.

“Yeah, I'm kinda... catholic, you know?” Cas breathed out, knowing that so far, he hadn't said this as explicitly as he'd done it right now.

“Cas... you take a dick up your ass every single day. Do you um... see how that might be against everything that is valued as right in Catholicism?”

“Yeah, I get it. And ever since I knew I liked dick I distanced myself from the majority of the church. But I still went because mom's a believer.”

“So... what are you saying? Do you want a service or something? Because I don't think we could get someone who'd marry us in a church or anything,” Dean's face still looked disbelieving and a little peeved as well, so that Cas realised that his religion was something he should've mentioned earlier or preferably not the day after he was proposed to.

“There are rites that are allowed. They perform benedictions in the more liberal branches.”

“Not even a proper wedding ceremony?” Dean raised his eyebrows. “Seriously, Cas. We can do better than that. Unless of course it's something that you want?”

“I think mom expects me to,” Cas fidgeted, but Dean's negatively surprised face seemed like he was against the idea, so he didn't feel confident enough to say that he really liked the thought of having their union blessed by the church.

“You should ask her about that. And at the end of the day, it's you who decides. And to be completely honest, I'm pretty much agnostic about the whole superior being shtick. But if it really means that much to you, I think I'll get used to the idea of holding a service like that when all the official business went through.”

“Thank you. And I'm still the same, you know? I'm not gonna go all fire and brimstone on you just because you yell out: 'Oh god' when you come,” Cas swallowed heavily, seeing that he couldn't fool Dean in the slightest.

“Ok,” Dean rubbed his nose on the boy, the same expression of joy and wonder creeping back into his expressions as he ground himself all over him, rasping: “Please tell me you sang in the church choir and you own one of those robes under which you wear nothing at all, or is that just a cliche?”

“I do own one, and it is just a cliche. But I could make it come true for you, I still have one,” Cas blushed.

“Fuck me sideways,” Dean grunted out, unwrapping Cas with an increasingly hungry expression. “How do you feel about blasphemy? Because I really, _really_ wanna say all kinds of shit right now,” he moaned, his eager hands already making a beeline for Cas' cock and balls.

“I don't know. Try it?”

“You have been very wicked, my child. To repent, you have to take fifty thrusts and just as many strokes to your dick.”

“Fuck me Father, for I have sinned,” Cas grinned, biting his lips as Dean bent his hips up and he really, _really_ enjoying blasphemy for the next half hour.

 

“The lord works in mysterious, balls deep and spurting ways,” Dean panted up at the ceiling, Cas halfway across him, panting as well and now also chuckling a bit when they were finished.

“I should have mentioned my religion sooner if I'd have known it'd get you so filthy,” he laughed and wormed himself around the larger man, his sinewy arm thrown across Dean's broad chest and his lean thigh straddling strong hips.

“Hey, it was just a test. You weren't kidding about not going for much of the church stuff, huh? Otherwise you wouldn't be ok with me misusing all those phrases just to get us off.”

“I like certain aspects of it. I like that I go there with mom. We put on fancy clothes, attend a service and afterwards we go out and have dinner, just the two of us while dad was who knows where or lying drunk in a corner. And I like that you can just believe there is something bigger than yourself out there. It makes me feel like there is something that makes sense of it all, someone who's just above all and who'll watch over everything that comes after us,” Cas said and alone by the way Dean was eyeing the ceiling it was apparent that he really had to bite his tongue not to say something snarky right now, that much was painfully evident, but Cas really valued it that he didn't, as he went on: “But yes, there is also something downright filthy and hot about the gross misuse of ecclesiastical norms. It feels like flipping the bird to the homophobic assholes running the church.”

“If you say that word again, I'll fuck you even more sore than you already are,” Dean grinned dopily.

“What 'ecclesiastical'?”

“Fuck baby, you're so hot.”

“Tell me something I don't know,” Cas grinned, but just when he felt good about himself and his confident reply, he felt himself flipped around so that he let out a very unsophisticated huff.

“What the hell, Dean?” he fumed, wriggling himself under Dean's weight pinning him down until there was a sharp slap landing on his ass, the older man smacking his hand down hard on the jiggly flesh and kneading it roughly afterwards.

“Pride, young Castiel? You really should know better than that.”

“Sorry, Father,” Cas moaned as Dean took a hold of his wrists and pressed his hands onto the headboard.

“You don't feel sorry to me,” Dean whispered into his ear, his hand underneath of Cas' body, playing with his cock until he got him hard.

“Oh Father, you have to punish me for more. I've lusted. Hell, I'm fucking lusting right now, and I'm so greedy for cock.”

“That makes three. Three deadly sins. I am sorely disappointed,” Dean huffed, grinding himself hard into Cas, and spanking him two more times, kneading the reddening skin as he had done before for the sins he'd committed.

“Is there anything I can do to amend myself, father?”

“I don't know,” Dean moaned, his cock slipping into Cas as soon as he was hard enough. “Have you plans to do penance?”

“Oh fuck yes, Father. I can offer you three virtues to make up for my failures. Ahh, fuck! Temperance,” he moaned as Dean picked up speed inside him, his hips snapping against his ass audibly, apparently hell bent on making them come in under a minute.

“What?” Dean panted.

“Restrain me,” Cas groaned.

“Gotcha,” Dean held onto Cas' clenching hands on the headboard even harder now. “What else?”

“Hope, uh yes, right there. To be a fucking good boy for you, any day.”

“Very good. And the last one?”

“Love,” Cas panted breathlessly, deliciously close already. “I love you, Father.”

“Holy shit, baby,” Dean groaned, his movements edged and losing rhythm as he came hard and deep inside the boy. “Get up a little,” he adjusted Cas, his hands shaky in their hold now that he had just come, but still holding his wrists in an iron grip as he let him get up so he could get him to finish.

Cas' cock bopped happily as Dean's fist closed around it, he was shoving himself into the handjob as hard as he could until he creamed the sheets underneath them.

“You didn't think it was too much?” Cas blushed as soon as he realised what he had said. As he had already learned, loving someone wasn't on the list of things you could say without having gathered all your wits together, which he definitely hadn't when he was fucked.

“I asked you for it,” Dean mumbled. “And I already know you love me.”

“Good. And don't you ever forget that,” Cas grinned, referring to the Balthazar incident and by the way Dean audibly swallowed and nodded against his shoulder blade without saying something in reply, he knew it too.

“I'm yours,” Cas added in a low whisper.

“I know,” Dean carefully peeled his fingers off Cas' wrists and massaged the angry red marks that they had left there until he loosened the boy's hands slowly.

“Dean? You're looking at me that way again,” Cas observed as he turned his head to stare at Dean's slightly absent gaze that expressed that he was holding something that was really precious to him.

“Yeah,” he quipped, staring unblinkingly at Cas as if he was mesmerised.

“Do I have to snap my fingers in front of your face so you can focus again?” the boy asked, because he knew that that sometimes helped with cases of tunnel vision.

“I'm fine,” Dean moved his head and smiled as he leaned in for a quick kiss. “Just a little overwhelmed, I guess. You said yes,” he focused on the boy, turning him around and looming above him. “You said yes to the whole deal. Being with me, every day. For the rest of our lives. And by now you know exactly what that means. And you're ready.”

“Which I wasn't that first weekend that you and mom talked about the possibility,” Cas nodded, seeing that Dean had been right. He hadn't been ready then, but he was now.

“I'm gonna be yours, and you're gonna be mine,” Cas nodded, suddenly hyper aware of the ring on his finger which he had almost forgotten about while they were busy fucking their brains out for the last couple of hours. “Shall we try and call the family about the good news, even with the piss poor reception in engagement motel hell? Isn't that what you do?”

“ 'Engagement motel hell', that could've come from me,” Dean echoed him with a snort. “I think we should keep up the suspense, actually. Tell them all together so Lucas and Naomi can scream from joy and help other members of the family to have the proper reaction to the news as well.”

“Seems logical,” Cas sighed, thinking about the possibility of blank stares and frowns on some of the people's faces that would officially be part of his family soon.

He tried not to think about it until Saturday morning dawned; the day that would take them back to civilisation and the announcement they would make in front of everyone.

As the log cabin disappeared behind them, Cas found himself actually missing it. Maybe not the cold showers and the dampness of it all, but he knew he'd trade the closeness with Dean with just about anything that could be expected back home.


	40. Chapter 40

When they pulled up in front of Mary Winchester's house, Cas was staring at the ring on his left hand, trying to sear it into his brain before he took on the firing squad, and remembered that he was happy about this and that he shouldn't give a damn about what other people thought.

“Ready?” Dean asked, taking said hand and squeezing it reassuringly.

“No,” Cas rumbled out, his voice betraying him by being squeaky and then breaking.

Dean chuckled, openly kissing Cas in the car, now that anyone would soon know about them.

Cas reciprocated, but left his eyes open to see if anyone passed them, the sneaking around and secrecy of the last few months still deeply ingrained. Somehow, this felt a tiny bit wrong, no matter how much he leaned into Dean and nearly straddled him so that they both got out the drivers door. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea to publicly advocate their relationship without them being married, yet. Could Dean still be held liable of statutory rape in the mean time? He double checked if no one had noticed them.

Since no one had been in the street after all, he just thought about it taking some getting used to, but when Dean took his hand and they marched across Mary's lawn he felt like the older man couldn't wait to finally go public with their love.

“Who exactly knows about this?” Cas asked, raising their intertwined hands and looking up at the older man with the question furrowing his brow.

“Just your mom, Lucas and Meg. Oh, and Crowley since you're such an open book.”

“So this'll be a surprise for almost everyone then?”

“Yeah,” Dean quipped as he rung the doorbell.

“Hey, honey,” Mary opened and smiled fondly at her eldest son, then turning to Cas without losing her smile. “Hi, Cas.”

Cas didn't know how to react to the familiar address, so busy with being worried and just stood there stupidly.

“Hail Mary,” he finally blurted out and then covered his mouth in shock, blushing furiously as Dean broke out in a hoarse laugh that Mary joined in immediately, throwing her arm around the boy and pressing him close.

“Thank you,” she chuckled, kissing his forehead as if she wanted to bless him. “You know I expect you to greet me like that every time from now on, right?” she chuckled as they made their way in.

“Sure. That's why I said it in the first place,” Cas tried to rescue the situation, inwardly rolling his eyes about his awkwardness.

“Absolutely,” Mary replied without any intonation betraying her amusement.

“Wouldn't have expected anything else,” Dean said in like fashion.

Cas squinted his eyes, declaring with a grin: “You both suck,” before they were interrupted by Lucas storming into the hall, Naomi and Crowley in tow.

“Where is it, where is it?” he babbled, ripping Cas' hands to himself and grinning out a triumphant and very loud: “HA, HA!” that was echoed in the living room by Henry and Blake thinking their cousin had come up with a new game.

“I told you,” he beamed at Crowley, with whom he had obviously argued about this with and who pouted, crossing his arms.

“Castiel, you disappoint me. I thought I'd be the first you'd tell, since I am to organise it all. The venue, the ceremony, every last wretched flower, dress-”

“Dress?” Cas asked sheepishly, picturing himself in a wedding dress and zoning out because he realised that he really liked the idea and by the way Dean squeezed his backside hard, he had a similar image in mind.

“Dress! Get up, or if I were to use your future husband's lingo: 'the monkey suits'.”

“What's going on?” Sarah asked, a child each holding onto her hand, because her young ones decided to join the welcoming party only with their mother escorting them, Sam and Bobby lumbering in after them. “Are you talking about a wedding?” she asked, then her gaze fell on Lucas still clutching Cas' hands and hugging both him and Dean by now.

“Mommy, why is cousin Lulu crying?” Blake asked her quietly, pulling his mommy down to him.

“You are so stupid,” his brother hit him on the head playfully, all the wisdom of a five-year old showing as he added: “Cas and uncle Dean are gonna get married and he's gonna be our uncle too. Hey, can I still say auntie Naomi, then?”

“You're both stupid,” Lucas wiped his eyes, vacating the happy couple's personal space so that Naomi could give them her good wishes next. “And cousin 'Lulu',” he put as much disdain into the word as possible, “did _so_ not cry.”

“Yeah, because you still _are_ ,” Henry stemmed his fists into his sides, because he would not let himself he told that he didn't see what he was seeing.

“Shut up, or I won't play 'Hi Hi Cherry-O' with you anymore.”

“But you gotta,” Henry seemed stunned by Lucas' cruelty. “You know Blake can't play it without you, yet.”

“Hi Hi Cherry-O,” Blake peeked up, took one finger from Lucas in his whole hand and led him through to the living room, Henry shaking his head as he went behind them.

Cas saw all this happening while keeping his mother in his arms who couldn't calm down as he congratulated them.

When she was ready to be put back onto her feet and stay on them, Sarah was the next in line, followed by Mary, who actually had a tear or two rolling onto her cheek, and a very calm Sam, who cordially shook both their hands, saying that he was glad they had decided to do this.

“No Robert, you will not,” Crowley stopped his husband who wanted to come forth next. “That little rascal of a nephew doesn't deserve it if he thinks he can treat me like this.”

“Crowley,” Bobby entreated with gentle force in the single word, so that the shorter man rolled his eyes and moved along with him. “Under protest, young man. Under protest,” he quipped as he hugged Cas.

“Sorry, uncle Crowley. You still have enough time for everything. We weren't thinking about anything in the next four weeks.”

“Four weeks?” Crowley turned red-faced and looked angry again once Cas could see him emerge back over his shoulder. “I think I'm having a heart attack. How am I, congratulations by the way,” he viciously shook Dean's hand before looking back at Cas, “to organise anything in four measly weeks?”

“Well, there's not that much to do. Just some decorations for the garden, and a tent perhaps. A cake, right? We should have a cake,” Cas asked the assembly, everyone else present knowing better than him what to do at weddings.

“You're adding a stroke to the heart attack you've already given me, son,” Crowley all but squeezed the bridge of his nose and Bobby took the opportunity to escort his husband away into the kitchen, asking Mary if she had some lavender tea.

“Lavender, Bobby?”

“Yeah, don't ask me. His highness swears by that stuff though,” he rubbed Crowley's back soothingly.

“I think I have some in the car,” Sarah added. “The boys sometimes drink it when they can't fall asleep. I'll go and get it.”

When Sarah was out the door, that left Dean, Cas and Sam in the hall, a rather awkward silence falling until Sam said: “I really am glad. Legally, it was the only right thing to do.”

Two pairs of eyes were staring holes into Sam, until Dean said to Cas: “Babe, why don't you call Meg and tell her to come over too,” while not taking his eyes off his brother.

“Ok,” Cas nodded, grateful for the out he was offered as he sat down on the steps leading out onto Mary's lawn and called his best friend up.

“Hey there, Clarence. Back from hillbilly county?”

“Don't, please,” Cas chuckled. “Have you got anything planned today? Because Dean and I have some news and we'd like you to come over.”

“Oh, it's 'we', is it? I guess congratulations are in order, love machine. Not only are you the first to lose your virginity, but you'll actually marry the sucker that took it. Hell yeah, dude!”

“Something you had a really big part in bringing about, right? Is that why you were cancelling plans so often?”

“Yeah,” she admitted. “But also, I have been hanging 'round with Balthazar a bit. But that's over now. He became predictable.”

“How predictable,” Cas grinned into his phone. “I can't understand why you hung out in the first place. You loathe him.”

“Yeah, true. But I am also not above flattery. Plus I got some decent meals out of the guy.”

“That's something,” Cas snorted, turning around to see Dean waiting in the door frame for him, obviously his talk with Sam was over.

“Ah, and about coming over. Mom's having a family day again, so I'd love to skip out on that, but I know how you feel about me bailing on them. Say the word and I'll come through.”

“Maybe for dinner? I really wanna hear about your spring break.”

“Yeah, and I wanna know all about the vile bridesmaid dress you'll stick me into.”

“Who said I'll have something like that? And who said that it's gonna be you?”

“Clarence,” Meg said as if she had never heard anything as pathetic as Cas' last two questions.

“Yeah, ok. But you gotta talk about that with Crowley. He's in charge of everything.”

“That douchey uncle of yours? Crap, he's gonna make me look like a tuna roll just because he can. He hates my guts.”

“He doesn't hate you.”

“Mhmm, you keep tellin' yourself that, sugar. See you later?”

“Yeah. Uh... we're at Mary Winchester's house by the way. I'll text you the address.”

“You got it. And hey, really from the bottom of my tiny, icy heart: Congratulations on the thing. Tell it to your hubby too, will ya?”

“Meg says congratulations to my hubby,” Cas grinned at Dean, who now joined him on the steps, folding his strong arms around the boy's frame.

“Thanks, Meg,” he rumbled into the speaker.

“Don't mention it,” she said and then ended the call.

“So what did she have to say?”

Cas just shook his head: “What did _he_ have to say?”

“Oh just legal stuff. I wanted him to get those words out without you having to hear them. Would've killed the romance factor you want,” Dean nudged him in the shoulder, and wanted to lean in to kiss, but in the last second pulled back, only rubbing Cas' shoulders in a way that no passer by could mistake as platonic. “And he said we should still hold back a little until everything is official. Otherwise the batmobile to the church would have to collect me from jail anyway.”

“Batmobile?”

“Seriously? That's your take away from this? That you don't want me coming to marry you in a batmobile?”

“No, it's just... I kind of thought the same when you kissed me in the car. That we shouldn't let everyone see this.”

“Yeah, yeah. You just like the sneaking around. Public displays of affection isn't something you'll enjoy when we finally can.”

“What makes you think that? When we took those two weeks of cooling off time and then met again for my birthday, I'd have liked to hold your hand.”

“That's different. You missed me. But kissing me just cause is not something you'll like to do in public, Mr. Hail Mary Awkward Pants.”

“Shut up,” Cas blushed and gave Dean a nudge himself. “You're probably right though. I'm just socially awkward, and that's always gonna be an issue,” he let his head hang and kneaded his hands.

Dean shoved his large palm between them to stop him and leaned in: “Hey,” he smiled, his eyes crinkling as he went on gently: “I know that, otherwise you wouldn't be Cas. And I happen to love Cas, awkwardness and all.”

“Me too,” Cas gave back, his mouth dry and overwhelmed by Dean's closeness, beginning to count the freckles that were now that the sun was finally strong enough were beginning to show on Dean's nose again.

“What, you love yourself too?” Dean teased, laying his chin on Cas' shoulder and their foreheads together.

“No,” Cas groused, happy that his voice didn't creak high in his irritation this time. “You know what I meant.”

“I do,” Dean grinned and moved his hand so their faces were obscured from view if someone should happen to walk down the street now, while he gently kissed Cas, tweaking his bottom lip with his own until the boy's breath hitched and his pupils were blown wide.

“So responsive, baby. Can't wait until I've got you in our bed again.”

“Me neither,” Cas sighed and listened to the sounds of his family sweeping out through Mary's open front door. “Went better than expected, didn't it?”

“Yeah,” Dean knew what he meant. “But they are all ok with it. Mom loves you now, because how could she not? And Sam really wants to make up for the shit he pulled. So I think we should just let him.”

“Yeah, me too. Oh, by the way, Meg has invited herself to be bridesmaid, or groomsmaid, I don't know how to call it.”

“Seems legit,” Dean nodded and then leaned in to whisper. “By the way, we gotta send you dress shopping. During the last couple of minutes, I've been thinking about it and I just gotta see you in a wedding dress. None of this princess crap with a huge skirt and shit, but something that shows off your hip bones, ass and your package. Something I could suck your nipples through.”

“Fuck, Dean. We're at your mother's. We can not get hard ons right now.”

“Too late,” Dean hummed into his ear and rubbed his nose along the boy's neck, pecking little kisses to it as well and Cas just had to make him stop now.

“Who're you thinking about making best man?”

“Huh?” Dean stumbled out of his lusting musings and stopped. “I thought about my friend Benny, or maybe Sam, I don't know. But at the moment rather Benny. He's a cop, you know? And he gets the whole appeal of twinky asses. He's got a kept boy at KU, but that's a big secret. You can't tell anyone.”

“Cross my heart,” Cas chuckled, suddenly curious about the sort of people Dean had met during his gay exploration time and vowed he'd ask him about that once the holiday madness was over.


	41. Chapter 41

“We have an announcement of our own as well,” Bobby rumbled to the assembled family later in the evening when Meg had also joined them. He took a long breath, before saying grumpily: “We're expecting babies.”

A silence followed his words while everyone stared at Bobby's frown and at Crowley grinning excitedly. Their demeanour was so different that they didn't know whether to congratulate them or offer to the best advice to get out of the adoption process they had started.

“That's good, right?” Naomi asked at last.

“Yeah, it is,” Crowley still beamed. “Robert just isn't sure we will really have those babies. Some mothers decide otherwise after having them. That happened to us already. And it's also more work to have twins. But I'm gonna work from home with them, and I will keep Bobby more around the house too, so he'll actually spend time with his daughters as well.”

“It's twins?” Cas brought himself to ask.

“Indeed it is,” Crowley seemed to be floating on air with happiness, nudging Bobby in the shoulder and smiling up at him.

Almost as if despite himself, Bobby smiled back: “I just don't want you to get your hopes up. I remember the last time. You needed days to be yourself again, and I don't think I could stand it if any of that happened ever again.”

“You mean the outbursts of rage, followed by days of self pity where I could not leave the bed?”

“Yep, those,” Bobby quipped, roughly tugging Crowley close. “I can't stand to see you like that again.”

“Won't happen, love. Those are our babies,” Crowley rifled through his pockets and produced an ultra sound picture to show to everyone. 

“I think one of them has a pretty big nose,” Lucas commented when it was his turn to stare at the strange image. 

“No, that's an arm.” Cas pointed it out.

“Shut up, that's the arm there,” Lucas turned the picture again.

“Shut up yourself, that's a leg.”

“No, that's the leg there.”

“Oh, I thought it was...” Lucas blushed.

“They're girls, Lucas,” Dean had to hold back his laugh. “They don't have what you thought was anything but a leg.”

“Gimme a fu- freakin' break, dad,” Lucas looked at his cousins on his lap, before amending his words. “How am I supposed to read these things right?”

“Well, you know the birds and the bees, right?”

“Oh my god, will you stop it?” Lucas' cheeks were red and he seemed completely embarrassed, so Cas elbowed Dean to shut up before he made it worse.

“A positive influence on him already,” Mary chuckled when Dean closed his mouth and started making doe eyes at Cas instead of tormenting his son further. 

 

They stayed at Mary's over the holidays, tight quarters meant some of them having to share rooms, and Sunday morning while the kids and Lucas were out on Easter egg hunt while the elders sat around tiredly, in Dean's case on his fifth cup of coffee, Meg tugged at Cas' sleeve to have a private talk with him.

“So, I slept with Lucas while you were gone.”

Cas was shocked into silence, not knowing what to say, the whole situation far outside of his comfort zone, so he only managed to get out a single: “What?”before dragging her off further so no one would be able to overhear them at all.

“Yeah, I don't know. It wasn't planned or anything. We were gaming, I don't know some playstation bullcrap, and he looked cute, so I leaned over and kissed him. He seemed ok with it so we ended up making out and... stuff.”

“But how can he, I mean... um, just how?”

“He doesn't have a medical condition, if that's what you think. He's just generally not interested in it all. But he can get aroused if the situation is right.”

“I so didn't want to know that,” Cas shook his head. “Ok, so uh... were you careful? What does this mean?”

“First off, yeah. All safe. Second, I have no idea. He's still Lucas, you know? I don't think he sees this as the huge deal it is for me. Anyway, I'm glad to have this over and done with and that my first time was with someone I liked and who didn't use me just to get at someone else.”

“So Balthazar is definitely out of the picture then?”

“He never really was there in the first place,” Meg shook her head. “Just because we went out a couple of times doesn't mean I've actually been with the guy.”

“Now I'm completely confused.” Cas head swam. “People date without... dating?”

“Well, going out sometimes is just that. Going out of the house to do something new and exciting. Jeez, clueless Clarence.”

“Sooo, are you and Lucas together now, or what?”

“I don't know. He doesn't really wanna talk about it. It's still like it always was, except now I'm a big girl just like you.”

“We should celebrate both being in the big girl club,” Cas chuckled. He had no problem with Meg counting him as a girl sometimes, and giving that the thought of Cas in a dress had driven both him and Dean to have a quickie in the shower last night before they could even think of sleeping, it seemed like he would never be judged for his slight feminisation tendencies. 

“Like make up and extensions for you?”

“Well, maybe not that,” Cas chuckled, that being a bit too extreme for him. He loved the feel of satin straining on himself, but he'd be damned if he'd ever wear a bra.

“Just teasing you, love,” Meg chuckled, but her expression changed when she saw Lucas passing by, playing along with the kids and looking pretty much as excited as them.

“He's still so much a kid,” she pondered. “And I don't think he'll ever change. He'll always take playing a game over doing things with me, right?”

“You could play the game with him?” Cas suggested, not knowing how to counsel her in this doubtless difficult situation. 

“I don't think I'd want that,” Meg said honestly when Lucas raced by them with a ton of caramel filled chocolate eggs in his arms to put into his basket of spoils of Easter egg war. 

 

By the time they had to go back to school, everyone seemed to have heard of Cas getting ready to marry and Crowley's preparations were gossiped about everywhere they went.

Being kind of a minor celebrity around these parts, every girl and guy like Cas dreamt of one day having their wedding organised by him and gushed over every new bit of information they got. Like where Crowley bought flowers, or what kind of napkins were ordered. 

But the reaction to the news wasn't overall positive. Many kids and parents shied away from Cas now, and Dean had to cope with even more slurs and insults whenever he collected the boys from school. Naomi got her fair share of hate as well, but it was all nothing compared to what was in store for Cas next.

Since the court had not issued an official counselling measure for Cas, deeming everyone involved in the matter as sane and doing the right thing, someone in the school, probably the principal let it be known that Cas had to go to the school counsellor three times a week until further notice if he did not want to be expelled on grounds of immoral conduct and mental disruption deeming him incapable of being taught at a regular school. 

From now on, probably until graduation, Cas had to stay behind during the usual detention hour, even after his respective sports training to see Curtis Metatron, the sleaze of a counsellor who felt everyone who walked into his greasy office up, no matter which gender or age they had. 

“Refuse,” Lucas fumed when Cas came home with the news, Crowley dancing around the house as if he was possessed, trying to hash out the best fitting net lace for the lighting inside and out while Cas told them about his day.

“I can't refuse. They'd expel me.”

“They can't do that,” Naomi shook her head. “I'll make sure of that.”

“But what's the point, mom? If I don't go, all the teachers will think that I'm headstrong and don't want to get help and will treat me like shit anyway. Do you really want to fight for me getting the better grade on every last test or exam from now on? It's easier if I just go. Endure this.”

“So you think if you just keep your head down and your mouth shut they will stop this after a while? That's just like giving in, babe,” Dean shook his head. 

“Please let me deal with this by myself,” Cas said to all of them and closed the subject with his words. It was his decision to go through with it and that meant he would do it. 

He was gonna get married, become a grown up. He should have the right to make his own decisions. Besides, what would be the alternative? Uproot everyone, move to another town where they'd have to face the same sneers or even worse ones? No, it was easier if he took one for the team on this one. What's two years of enduring after all? Just a few weeks ago, he'd thought to have to endure secrecy for these two years, was this really so different?

After the first session with Metatron he found out that yes, it was different, and it would've been easier for no one to know about him and Dean, rather than having to endure ridiculous questions and having to assure the old dirtbag that no, his dad did not abuse him, and no, he would not bend over Metratron's desk as well. 

“You will, Asstiel,” he came close, Cas looking down on the smaller, disgustingly sweaty man. “You will if you know what's good for you. See you Wednesday.”

Meg waited for Cas outside and knew what had happened immediately, Cas' face speaking louder than words. 

“Did he touch you? I'll fucking kill him, right now,” she frowned, stomping over to the office and about to bang loudly against the door, but Cas stopped her in time.

“Don't. It's not worth it.”

“The hell it's not worth it. This is bullshit and you know it.”

“Yeah, I do. But that doesn't change the fact that I can't get out of this without causing trouble for everyone. Can we please just not talk about all of this anymore? I need to get home and probably convince uncle Crowley not to cover the whole house in white icing so that it looks fancier. It's bad enough that he's gonna cover the whole scaffolding in tulle if it doesn't disappear in two weeks.”

The work on the house was almost done, Naomi's personal area built in but it wasn't certain if every bit of construction material was gonna be gone by the time the wedding guests arrived in the house and Crowley was losing his shit because of it.

“I'm phoning you because I like talking to you. Obviously, you swine,” Cas heard Crowley shouting sassily into his phone when he opened the door, rolling his eyes about his enraged uncle. “And no, I already told you I will not go out with you, even if that would speed up the process. Just make sure your sweaty and stinking man will be done with everything. I have a wedding to organise here,” he shouted the last words before he hung up, snorting like a rhino.

“Tea?” Cas asked quietly.

“Cheers, love,” Crowley's anger seemed to have evaporated as soon as his call was over but he seemed exhausted when he sat down at the kitchen table and by the array of papers, patterns and photos of flower arrangements, Cas could see Crowley had been hard at work all day again.

“Do you know that people in school are actually better with knowing all about the preparations than I am?” Cas chuckled. “They have their own hashtag on twitter if one of them manages to see you in a store or something.”

“Why I'm flattered,” Crowley rasped, taking a sip of his tea as soon as Cas put it in front of him. 

“You know you don't have to do all of this, right? I'm happy with anything. And Dean too. You really don't have to stress yourself over this or pester everyone for special rates and discounts.”

“It's my pleasure, Cas. I might not live to arrange any more weddings for the family, so yours will be my absolute master piece.”

“Don't say that.”

“It's true. I'm getting on, and if I'm looking after babies soon, that will take even more years out of my book.”

“Then don't get as angry as you were before, that's not good for you.”

“I'll decide what's good for me, you little shit,” Crowley's temper rose again, but then he grinned. “You're right of course. I really ought to take better care of my ticker if I am to enjoy more good years with Robert and see my daughters grow up.”

“You're really certain you'll get them?” Cas sat down, loving to talk about something so different, not relating to his own problems at all.

“I know it,” Crowley nodded, his gaze suddenly looking as if he was miles away, and by the way he was smiling he probably did not envision poopy diapers and vomit.

“Listen, uh... There is one thing I wanted to ask you though.”

“Shoot, love,” Crowley seemed to zap back into the conversation.

“I want to try a dress, maybe buy it too. But around here, if a guy walks into a bridal shop, that might not be... yeah. Is there anything that can be done?”

“You're not telling me you want to go down the aisle in a dress?” Crowley's face seemed to redden again and he sorted through his papers, his mind probably racing with how many arrangements he'd have to change if the colour scheme was all off again, so Cas laid a calming hand on his forearm.

“I was thinking of something private. Like, let me try some and maybe buy one that fits my purpose. And maybe Dean could come with me. See me trying them on.”

“Oh, now I get it,” Crowley chuckled. “You two are into that, huh? No worries. I can make a few calls. Only... don't soil anything you're not gonna buy, ok? I don't think that anyone would appreciate to buy a dirty dress. That's something really special for most brides.”

“I promise,” Cas nodded faithfully. 

“I'm guessing something tight and easy to get off?” Crowley smirked, taking notes with his phone.

“Yeah, perfect. Thank you.”

“It's nothing. Now go do your homework, and tell your man I'm working on getting your perversion real.”

“Thank you,” Cas said again and hugged him and wanted to leave to go and do his enormous pile of homework.

“Uh uh, you can do better than that,” Crowley held onto his arm.

“Uh...,” Cas cleared his throat, knowing what he wanted to hear, but that didn't make him less embarrassed about saying it. “You're the best, sexiest uncle in the whole world.”

“I think I came in at the wrong time,” Dean's voice swept over from the door to the hallway, blinking and doubtlessly wanting to rinse his ears.

“Not at all, but you can second Cas' words. Please?” Crowley blinked flirty. 

“Yeah... Not a chance, Crowley. Can I get my baby back now?”

“He's all yours,” Crowley finally let go and Cas marched over to Dean, a wide smile on his face, wanting to kiss him hello, but Dean just rubbed over his shoulders gently.

“Not in front of the creepy uncle, please?” Dean smiled with a definite strain on his brow, and Cas knew he wanted to get away as quickly as possible.

“Ok,” the boy chuckled. 

“So what's knew in your life?” Dean asked once they were across from each other in the office, Cas solving equations, Dean typing away on his laptop, hating statistics more than ever and opting to talk to Cas instead, who didn't know how much of the truth he should tell him.

“It was awful,” he quipped, but Dean's gentle, encouraging nod told him that that wasn't gonna be enough.

“He's an asshole. And he's made all kinds of disgusting remarks. But it's nothing I can't handle.”

“If you're sure,” Dean sighed and went back to work.

Five minutes later, he interrupted him again with: “By the way, I asked Benny about meeting up next weekend. Gives us a chance to catch up and you wanted to know more about the whole business, huh?”

“Yeah, that sounds great. I should meet your best man before the actual day, right?”

“Yeah, you should,” Dean grinned, but frowned when his gaze lowered onto the screen again.

“I'll blow you under the table once I'm finished,” Cas promised, seeing that Dean wanted to call it quits entirely for today, but he needed to get his homework done before he could entertain the older man with his body or his company.

“Am I being a nuisance? You can say it if I am.”

“Dean, please,” Cas pressed out through gritted teeth. “I have to finish this shit. And right after, I want your cock in my mouth,” he said crudely, scribbling away with determination. 

An hour later, when he was finally feeling the heavy texture of Dean in his mouth, and his hands in his hair it was the most content he had been all day. Seeing the older man come apart for him was what made all this worth it. As long as Dean loved him, he could take on everything.


	42. Chapter 42

“That is exactly what I didn't want to happen to you, Castiel,” his mom told him when he let her in on the way he was feeling at the moment over breakfast the next morning.

“What?” he asked around his mouth full of cornflakes.

“Seeing yourself define your self worth or even your life over the fact if you're being loved or not.”

“Oh.”

She had a point, Cas knew it. The whole situation was far from ideal right now, but the way he had felt yesterday, like he was barely holding on until he was with Dean, bathing in the love he could not give himself, that was wrong. Getting new strength to fight for all of them every day was a good thing, but as soon as he thought he couldn't do all of this without Dean, that's where he'd really start to need counselling. Not Metatron's idea of it, but real training to treat himself better.

“As long as you're aware of it,” Naomi nodded into Cas' pensive silence. “Obviously things are as they are. He loves you and you love him, but don't let that dictate your personal growth. You're still an individual, even when you're with someone.”

“Thanks, mom. Can't you be my counsellor?”

“No, but I'm your mom. Giving good advice is what I'm here for, honey.”

And Cas was really glad that she was there for him these days. Before this, both of them knew that she had been too busy keeping up a life that did not do either of them any good but now her new job seemed to make her much happier than ever, plus she wasn't out of the house for 16 hours every day.

Cas didn't want to tell her that the way she blossomed in her job was another reason why he didn't want to just roll over and start over somewhere else. She had said it might be the last good job she was offered in her life and he didn't want to be the one to screw that up for her.

 

Later that same week, when him and Dean were supposed to meet Benny and his boy, he was nervous as hell. He wanted to make a good first impression and he hoped he wouldn't fail at it.

While they walked into the same restaurant he had been in with Balthazar, Cas surveyed the room for signs of the people they would meet, even though he had no idea what they might look like.

The room seemed much nicer than when he had been here last, although nothing had changed. It was still kept in the same dark sandalwood colour scheme as before, but with Dean here, the whole atmosphere was far less oppressive and it was also a big improvement that Cas wasn't breaking a sweat and feeling generally uncomfortable the entire time.

When Dean's face parted into a grin and he waved at someone, Cas followed his gaze, seeing a true bear of a man with blonde short hair and a beard to match smiling back at them and a thin, at first glance not at all striking boy next to him.

“Hey, brother,” he drawled as soon as they got close enough and pulled Dean into a hearty, one armed hug before doing the same thing to Cas without any false decency.

His boy Alfie, Cas remembered, was far more reserved and only shook both their hands before sitting back down.

“So, this is the boy wonder who made Dean lose his heart? Nice ta meetcha,” Benny smiled and Cas felt immediately at home, almost as if Benny streamed out a continuous amount of warmth that made everyone at ease.

There was no stilted conversation at all, they all hit it off immediately, discussing stuff they would never mention in front of people who weren't familiar with their kind of scenarios and even though Cas thought he would've been uncomfortable, the general openness about it gave him too much confidence to be embarrassed for even a second.

He listened very carefully when Alfie told him about his childhood and how he'd ran away from home time and time again because his dad just didn't understand him or value his dreams to be rivals to his own plans for the boy's future.

“Yeah, you should've seen him. Working at Wiener Hut when I found him, bunking in a shared apartment with 7 other guys, pretending he was 18 already even though everyone could see that he was still a minor and skipping school. Never did a better thing than taking ma boy with me, if you know what I'm saying.”

“Yeah, Benny got me back on the right track. Got me to go back to school and to college.”

“That's great,” Cas smiled, but something about the obviously familiar way the couple interacted made him say: “But Dean mentioned I shouldn't tell anyone about the two of you. Why's that?” Cas was very interested, because neither of them seemed like the type to go into hiding.

“Wasn't my idea,” Benny hummed, a big palm on Alfie's shoulder and suddenly his warmth seemed to increase to scorching hot when they looked at each other. “But ma boy here doesn't want me to have any trouble at work. He thinks it's better that not everyone knows. I mean, I'm a big guy, can fend for myself if you know what I mean, but he hates the idea of me being ambushed with my pants down and people gangin' together, beating me up.”

“Just don't want you to get hurt,” Alfie mumbled. “People are still really backwards here. Plus,” he raised his head and Cas noticed a vibe that seemed really familiar. “It's fuckin' hot to have you as my personal secret.”

“Yeah, that certainly fuels some fantasies with the boy,” Benny leaned over to Dean conspiratorially, both of them smirking at Cas now who found himself nodding enthusiastically, looking at Alfie with an understanding look about their shared kinks shining through.

“Besides, I might not have been able to help you two out if I'd lost my rep in the department.”

“What do you mean, help out?” Dean asked, and according to his furrowed brow, Cas wasn't the only one not getting something here anymore.

“I haven't told ya so far, because I could still turn it all around before anything serious happened. But this one kid was in all the time, telling me about this other kid having underage sex with a grown up responsible for him in a way because he was living in his house. He was spewing hate and stuff but he kept coming in. I never filed a report for it but if it would've been known that I like to cut myself a slice of twink ass myself, no one would've let me deal with it, you know? I was debating to give ya a head's up if we'd ever have had to go to your place or somethin'.”

“Who was it?” Cas asked, dreading but also knowing the answer already.

“I can't tell ya, but I'm guessing the kid that Dean told me about? Wanting to skin him alive if he laid a finger on you? Might be the one who came to me,” Benny flicked imaginary dirt from the tip of his finger.

Cas was struck, knowing exactly that it was Balthazar who had gone to the local police department and had wanted to throw Dean in jail. Strangely it wasn't the guy in question he blamed, but someone else.

He ripped out his phone, typing angrily away.

“Don't tear her a new one, you're gonna regret it,” Dean whispered into his ear, knowing the person he was texting without having to see the name.

Cas looked up, still furious, but he nodded, deleting his first angry words and replacing them with: “Balthazar went to the police. Seems like I'm not the only open book around here, right?” And because he couldn't help himself he sent her three red angry emoticons after the actual text.

“What's happening?” Alfie asked.

“Cas is pissed at his groomsmaid. The kid who went to report me went out with her, probably for info,” Dean explained, while Cas, still furious, stabbed his food viciously.

“Yeah, that fits. Don't blame her too much, angel. He didn't know shit and just made assumptions.”

“Ey, stop flirting with him. He's mine,” Dean chuckled and Cas felt his mood lighten, for the moment forgetting about what Meg had or hadn't done, because in the end, nothing had happened, and he could sit here and laugh about two thirty something guys mock fighting over who should have him.

“He's mine, I'm telling ya. He'd never wanna be with someone else,” Dean's drawl came out the more he talked with Benny.

“He should just try it, maybe he'd like the way another Daddy would break him in even better,” Benny waggled his eyebrows.

Cas shook his head with a chuckle, checking how Alfie coped with Benny's advances because if it would have been Dean, pretending to proposition the other boy, Cas would have dragged him off and forcefully seduced him in the toilet at once to reclaim him.

But apparently, Cas' possessive nature wasn't something Alfie related to, or maybe he was confident enough to know that Benny would never hurt him so that he only laughed about the capers of their Daddies.

Cas hoped that that was a point he'd reach pretty soon too, the confidence, not having to establish his place in the man's life over and over, or feeling like he had to.

“Just settle this, Cas,” Benny turned to him with a pretend strain to his voice. “Let's just take a turn in my truck and have you experience what a real Daddy can do for ya? Whatcha say?”

“I'll pass, thank you. One Daddy is more than enough for me. Alfie can fill me in about the bits I'm missing.”

“They're good bits,” Alfie grinned, getting up and completely focused on Cas as he cocked his head to the side. “Let's trade stories.”

“I'd love to,” Cas smiled happily, getting up himself, gleeful at the struck expression on both older man's faces.

“Hey now,” Benny wanted to start.

“You wouldn't,” Dean said flatly.

“Totally would,” Cas smiled, waving at them and throwing an arm around Alfie. “You have a beer or something. We're gonna gossip.”

Chuckling they went outside, both imagining how their respective partner craned his neck now, trying to read their lips for any words they might exchange about their size or performance.

“What do you really wanna talk about?” Alfie asked, pulling Cas over to a bench just a few steps down the pavement.

“I kinda have a question. How do you cope with him being the older one with more experience? How do you measure up? Find worth in yourself apart from him?”

“It's not easy,” Alfie nodded, apparently understanding Cas' struggle pretty well even though Cas thought he hadn't been really eloquent about it. “You have to set boundaries. Being with an older man means that they like to have their way, and it's hot.”

“Definitely is,” Cas agreed, eager to hear more.

“Yeah, but you still have to know that your opinion counts as well. It's a push and pull, sometimes he just knows better because he's experienced more, but don't let him dictate your life. If he says spinach and you don't like it, you don't have to eat it. Just as an example. Don't go out of your way to please him unless that's the play for the day. You really have to know yourself, your needs and also your limits.”

“But how do you deal when he's your whole world?” Cas asked quietly. “I've always wanted just him. When I started getting hard and stuff, it was always him I thought about when it happened, you know? I'm like a satellite around him. Everything I do has him at the centre. I feel like I'll never be the centre myself, and like I don't even want it,” he added more honestly than he'd ever been.

“There are days like that. Just know yourself, and even though I know it's hard, you also gotta love and know yourself to be with your guy. If you don't know what you want and always depend on him to tell you, you'll not get very far. Know and love yourself. That's as essential as it's hard.”

“Thanks,” Cas still thought about the wise words of the slightly older boy. “You don't need to worry about Benny dictating everything. You got all this down.”

“And you will too. I'm certain of it. At the end of the day, it's the guy you love falling asleep next to you, no matter how hard it was to take what he's done to you before. He's done it for you.”

“And I've done it for him. But in the end it was me who did it,” Cas nodded, feeling already in a better place than the whole preparations and their repercussions had thrown him into and when they walked back to the table, he and Alfie were already conversing about the upcoming event, keeping their Daddies in the dark about their earlier conversation. Some things just had to remain private.

“So, uh... what were you two talking about?” Benny asked, and Cas was somehow pleased to see him nervous for the first time.

“This and that. Boy business. You wouldn't understand,” Alfie said with a wink that somehow managed to be cute instead of saucy as Cas contemplated the fact that neither Benny nor Dean _would_ really understand their mindsets and it was important to compare notes with people who were at a similar place in life.

He felt like Alfie got him in a way that neither Lucas nor Meg and certainly not Garth ever could and kept thinking about the different discourses he could have with people on the way home.

“You're quiet, baby. What's on your mind?” Dean asked while he was driving and Cas hadn't opened his mouth ever since saying bye to the other couple.

“Lots of stuff,” Cas said vaguely, not able to fully form a thought yet, just replaying the evening and the things he'd learned after getting together with people who completely understood where he came from.

“For instance?”

“For instance... would you put me through college while I was off living my own life only seeing you on weekends, like Benny and Alfie do it?”

“If that's what you wanted,” Dean stared out onto the street. “I mean, we're gonna have to deal with the college question sometime. Whether you'll live in a dorm, or if I'm moving with you. We're gonna be married by that time, so the experience is gonna be different for you from most of the other people you meet, but I don't want you to miss out on binge-drinking parties just because you have an old fart of a husband at home watching the game with a beer and waiting to lecture you about responsible drinking while he rubs your back and you vomit into the toilet bowl.”

“That's what happens at college?”

“Yeah, kinda. Among other stuff. Which you should totally experience at least once. Except for drinking yourself into a stupor and taking your clothes off. Your body is mine, nobody gets to see it except me.”

“Same goes to you.” Something about Dean's words struck a chord within Cas. “Am I too possessive, or are _you_ for that matter?”

“No, we're not. There is nothing too much about it. Benny and Alfie are just laid back in that respect because they also go public, you know. They do stuff in clubs, while others can see them,” he clarified.

“Oh, I see,” Cas nodded. “I'd never do that. That's my private property people would stare at.”

“I'm not really one for it either. What we do is between you and me,” Dean parked the car in the garage, but didn't get out yet, looking at Cas with a promising air. “You tired?”

“No, not really.”

“So whatcha wanna do?”

“I want my private property in me. That means your dick, Dean,” he rolled his eyes when the older man didn't get it immediately.

“My dick belongs to you?”

“Yes, it does. It's mine and there for my personal enjoyment. And soon the exclusive use of it belongs to me for life.”

“I love the attitude you have today, baby.”

“Then follow me unobtrusively to the bedroom and I'll show you even more of it.”


	43. Chapter 43

Cas kept his mindset while they were busy in the bedroom, riding Dean with a 'no bullshit' attitude when he was all ready to go.

“I love you, baby.”

“Shush, I'm trying to have hard and heavy sex here, don't ruin it,” Cas took Dean's hands and placed them from his waist onto his jiggling ass cheeks, wanting to feel the older man's touch on him as he went to town. He clutched the headboard happily, loving the thick widespread feel of Dean's thick length inside him.

“You're still so slim, baby. My cock is visible whenever you take me balls deep,” Dean mumbled, watching the head of his cock appear as a bulge on Cas' slender stomach and fucked up extra hard to see it.

“You're not gonna come that fast, old man,” Cas shook his head, slowing down a bit. “I want to make this last.”

“Boy, you ride like a maniac and talk about lasting?” Dean shook his head, barely able to hold on or do the motion at all with the forceful way that Cas was moving. “I think you don't even know how close you are already.”

Cas felt Dean take a hold of his dick, and to his surprise he was a goner in a handful of strokes.

“How did you? Why did you-”

“Know? Babe, there is so much you still gotta learn,” Dean chuckled, holding Cas in place so he could use him to completion by thrusting shallow, so as not to over-sensitise the boy.

“Didn't do so well, did I?” Cas asked with a downcast expression when he had watched Dean shudder to completion.

“You did perfectly,” Dean kissed his temple, holding onto Cas' smaller body while they calmed down. “You just _over_ did it. Did that make the sex bad, or the orgasms stale?”

“No.”

“No,” Dean agreed.

“I just wanted to show you that I can take the lead as well. That I'm ready for the grown up thing. That all of this crap in school, and how everyone looks at you and me doesn't matter.”

“I know,” Dean replied simply.

 

The wedding day came closer sooner than anyone had thought, especially Cas, but between school, therapy with Metatron, work and his sports training, he hardly noticed how quickly time passed.

After their first session, Metatron had kept pretty much low level annoying, had taken to calling him Asstiel the entire time, but he had not made any snide or threatening remarks again. Or maybe Cas was too fuelled with excited wedding buzz to notice anything until the day he started talking to Meg again.

He hadn't reached out to her ever since he sent her that angry text, didn't reply to her countless messages until they stopped, feeling like back when she had spent more time with her boyfriend than with her friends, although this time around it was him who _actively_ cut her out.

Every morning when he saw her sit down next to him in math, she looked like she had been crying the night before, but she never tried to talk, knowing that when Cas was ready, he would be the one to come forth.

As it turned out, he could only stand to be mad at her for two days until he pulled her into an awkward hug that had her sob so hard that she needed the two hours of soccer practice she had come by to watch, to calm down.

She had joined the spectators who watched practice in the hope that Cas would talk to her, but he'd only pulled out the hug before he went back to stretching and running to warm his muscles up.

“Does that mean we're friends again?” she asked after practice was finished and Cas walked off the pitch and towards home, again without bothering to change, happily expecting Dean to welcome him home the usual way.

“That means: Lay off the doughnuts or you won't fit in your bridesmaids dress,” he said, still a bit pissed before breathing in deeply and admitting: “It wasn't your fault he used you for that. You told him nothing he could use against us.”

“I know that too,” she shook her head, getting out her tissue to wipe her eyes.

“Then what is it? Was I torturing you to much by not talking to you?”

“No, I deserved that. It's just... he and I are kinda alike, don't you think? I used him to get meals and see movies for free, and he used me to get information. Two of a kind.”

“Hey, watch it. That's my best friend you're comparing to a douchebag there,” Cas nudged her. “But you're also right. You were kinda calculating there.”

“I was. Hey, why is it that I have to learn everything the hard way, you know... with dating and stuff, and you're just done with it? Partner in life found. While I can't even seem to hold a guy I like or don't like for any amount of time.”

“I don't think it's that cut and dry, Meghara,” Cas said, knowing that she didn't like when he used her full name, but he did it nonetheless, still a little vengeful. “I mean you don't have to be thraped by Metadouche three times a week just so you don't get anyone into serious shit. Dean's words, not mine. And no, he's not said or done anything,” he answered Meg's questions ahead of them coming.

“I'd chop him into little bits if he even says another bad word again. I promise, Clarence.”

“I know that. But you see, I have my things, you have yours. But yours don't include bad coach role play in your dirty soccer dress, which I really should be getting to already.”

“You kinky son of a bitch,” Meg chuckled about the next level of information she was getting today. “Enjoy the beast,” she held out her hand and they highfived before she went home again, Cas' step now not the only one practically bouncing with happiness.

 

“What sort of time do you think this is, young man?” Dean asked, his hands on his hips as Cas got in five minutes past his usual.

“Sorry, coach. I was talking to-”

He didn't get any further, because Dean turned his arm onto his back, so that he had to follow if he didn't want to hurt and put him facedown onto his own desk.

“Did you lock the door when you came in, boy?” he barked into his ear, slightly tugging at it with his teeth while he waited for an answer.

“Of course, Daddy. I know our training sessions are private.”

“Don't call me that now,” Dean groused, yanking Cas' shorts down with one hand, keeping him pinned down with the other.

“I'm sorry, coach,” Cas breath hitched because Dean probed at his pucker now.

“I see you haven't worked at all, you're completely closed. Doesn't your school coach know what kind of exercise you need?”

“No, coach. That kind of exercise isn't what I train there.”

“I gotta do _everything_ myself,” Dean was shaking his head with disappointment, and Cas felt excitement rush through him when the snick of a cap told him lube was being opened.

“Who else will teach you the essentials if not me, huh?” Dean stuck his index finger into Cas as far as he could without meeting resistance, pumping it and crooking it so he found Cas' prostate quickly.

“Nobody, coach Daddy. Just you.”

“You sneaky little fucker,” Dean smacked his ass for the 'Daddy' he had slipped in there, intentionally. “Don't think I haven't noticed that,” he laid into him again, Cas biting his bottom lip with a naughty grin at getting so much of what he liked today.

“You ought to show me some respect,” Dean went on, fingering Cas open and bringing his palm down onto his ass from time to time. Enough to make Cas horny, but not so much that he wouldn't be able to sit tomorrow.

“What do I have to do to get some credit for everything I do around here, huh?” Dean fumed as he breached into Cas, bottoming out too quickly, picking Cas up and rubbing over his neck teasingly, scenting him and pulling up his long shirt to expose his ass to view as he forced it open around his cock. Cas was in heaven, panting and rock hard while Dean adjusted his body as he pleased.

“I'm gonna fuck you into shape, boy,” he grumbled, digging his fingers into the meaty part of Cas' ass, fucking him roughly.

Cas just moaned ravenously, fisting his cock while Dean went to town on him, holding on for the ride and loving the rough edges of Dean's thrusts, the way he pinned him down and just fucked.

“Breed me, Daddy,” he shouted out passionately, feeling a sharp pang on his ass that made him twitch. “Sorry, coach. Breed me, coach. Please.”

“Damn right I will. You deserve this pounding, don't you?”

“Yeah, I do. Deserve to be taken just like this. Fuck Daddy, just there,” he forgot his role again and when Dean spanked him again, he couldn't stop his orgasm from coming, flying over his cock as Dean nailed his prostate.

“You...,” Dean moaned, both his hands on Cas' ass now, pulling it apart to watch himself disappear in him until he came.

“I need to work on my role play abilities, I know,” Cas nodded as he got up, sitting on the edge of Dean's desk with come leaking out of him, looping his arms around the older man, and pulling him down for a very belated hello kiss.

“I love you,” he mouthed, putting his head onto Dean's chest for a few minutes to ground him after another very long day.

“Love you too, baby. Did I hurt you?”

“No, but I'm gonna be a bit sore tomorrow.”

“Want me to rub some into you?”

“No, please don't. If you touch me down there, I'll be horny again. I'll do it myself tonight.”

“Night is right, baby. Or have you forgotten that we're going dress shopping with your creepy uncle?”

“Tonight?” Cas asked, but then remembered that Dean was right and he'd clean forgotten about the dress fitting they were gonna do. “Great, now I _am_ horny again.”

 

The dress fitting wasn't like either of them had thought. Cas didn't find a dress he liked and without a shop attendant, it wasn't easy getting into the more cream puff sort of dresses.

Crowley had collected them, faithfully promising to wait outside while Dean and Cas went in letting themselves in with the key the owner had given Cas' uncle.

“If you touch anything you're not supposed to touch, it's my ass and reputation on the line and I swear I will skin both of you.”

So Cas was really careful with the white robes he was slipping into, trying not to get any sweat on it, because after heaving himself into the third princess dress, he was sweating buckets.

“I can't do this.”

“Want me to help?” Dean reacted to his mumbled words immediately on the other side of the curtain.

“No, it's fine,” Cas groaned out through gritted teeth, stepping out of something that felt it was trying to strangle him with a relieved sigh.

“This isn't sexy,” Dean stated, wiping Cas down with a couple of paper towels he had probably gotten from the bathroom, toweling the half naked boy down a little, neither of them reacting like they usually would to exposed skin and closeness.

“Shall I just look at one online? We haven't got to have it by the the actual date, right? Some people take months to find the perfect dress.”

“Have you been watching 'My perfect Wedding Dress' again?” Dean teased as they moved though the rows of white, cream, ecru and eggshell.

“No?” Cas suggested, hoping Dean would believe him, but he only raised one eyebrow so Cas grumbled out a: “Yes, ok? You watch Dr. Sexy for guilty pleasure!”

“Touché,” Dean granted him the point. “Just try one more though. Because so far you only slipped into what you were sure you wouldn't like before we even got here.”

“Yeah, I know, I just... This is silly. I don't need a dress, I'm a guy, I'll wear a suit.”

“Course you don't need a dress, baby. But you want one. And I want you to have whatever you want. And there is the small benefit for me of seeing you crossdress, which we should do all the time by the way. I'm thinking plaid skirts, blouses, black tight mini skirts...”

“You want me to look like a Japanese school girl?” Cas tried to play irritated.

“No, I want you to look like my Cas. In a skirt. I figure, panties and stockings.... Wedding dress, not that far fetched that you'd like that, huh?”

“I'd _love_ for you to fuck me in a skirt,” Cas admitted, finally finding his earlier arousal and then when he looked at the dresses on display again, he saw one that just clicked and he said tonelessly: “Go away.”

“What?” Dean seemed a bit hurt by Cas' words.

“Please, Dean. Just don't look and go.”

“You found something?”

“Yes and I want to try it. Turn your back.”

Dean turned and Cas pulled out a dress that was squeezed inbetween a really voluptuous one and one that had all sorts of embellishments that however made it look weird as a whole. This dress that had caught Cas' eye was sleek, looking like it was made out of one piece of fabric only if not for the lace trimming around the bustier and waist, cute little bows of lace tying up the corset-like satin strings in the back. The busty part would have to be adjusted for him and it would have to be made smaller all around, but this was _perfect_.

He walked into the changing room and put the dress on, pulling it tight in all the right places before he even looked at himself in the mirrors around him and when he did, he simply gasped, because all his embarrassment beforehand was washed away and he knew he couldn't deny how much he loved to wear what would be traditionally called women's clothing.

“Everything alright in there?” Dean seemed eager to remove the curtain and see Cas in all his glory, but Cas held it shut.

“No.”

“No? You ok?”

“I'm perfectly fine, only you can't come in.”

“There ain't nothing in there I haven't seen already, baby.”

“Yes, there is. There is your husband in here and you don't know him yet, and you will only get to see him on our wedding night. Go away.”

“What's the thing you always say?” Dean sounded as if he was pondering something he already knew. “Mean?”

“Yeah, I know. But please don't. Uncle Crowley was right,” he told his reflection, letting his hands glide down his body, cupping his erection lightly, though he let go quickly not to leave a stain in the dress. “This is special. I feel like this is what I need to be who I will be after the 'I do'.”

Cas turned around a few times, loving how his ass looked under the fabric when he pulled it taut again, feeling a love for himself he'd rarely felt in his life so far.

Then he regretfully stepped out of the dress and put on his usual clothes to let uncle Crowley know he could come and take his measurements for the dress to be adjusted for him.

“I'll just tell the owner that the bride is really flat-chested,” Crowley mumbled when he took Cas' highest measurement.

“And built like a 16-year old, inconsiderate boy,” he went on. “It didn't strike you that I'd want to see my favourite nephew in his dress?”

“I'm your _only_ nephew,” Cas rolled his eyes, already moving and putting it on once more.

“Shoo,” Crowley waved at Dean outside the curtain.

“I'm going, I'm going,” Dean fumed, stalking off with heavy, doubtlessly very pissed steps.

“You look like a bride,” Crowley swallowed heavily once Cas showcased himself, pulling the boy into his arms before he let go in horror that he might have crumpled the fabric. “Sorry, love. It's just I've seen this expression on every bride that I ever worked with. You're gonna be really happy with him, and have a wonderful life. And you can tell him that if he hurts my darling little angel, I hope his balls fall off.”

“I can hear you, you dumb fuck,” Dean rumbled from around the nearest corner.

“Ah, such a flirt. So courteous,” Crowley rasped, letting Cas turn for him once and nodded, happily smiling again before he shooed him back to change.

When Cas was done, Crowley was outside with a white box in which he packed the dress, putting the measurements he'd taken onto a card and putting it into the box as well.

“I'll make sure it will be done before the wedding,” he told them on the way back home.

“Thanks, uncle Crowley,” Cas beamed and squeezed Dean's hand happily, and even though the older man still seemed a bit hurt by the fact that he'd not seen the dress on him, he gave him a smile.

“You'll see it really soon,” Cas promised quietly. “Along with the new me. Cas Winchester.”

“I like the sound of that,” Dean answered, giving Cas' ass another well deserved smack on the ass as they went. 


	44. Chapter 44

The night before the wedding, Cas insisted he'd go up into his mother's apartment and sleep on her couch, adhering to the tradition that partners shouldn't sleep in the same bed the night before getting married. He didn't know why, but it felt right to do that.

Dean wasn't happy about it, and much less about the fact that they were getting married on a Saturday and had only the following _day_ as a honeymoon because Cas had school and they all knew he couldn't afford to just take a week off, everyone from the principal down to Metatron just out to throw stones into the boy's way if he took one step out of line.

Cas may or may not have exaggerated on how much the hours he had to spend in Metatron's office were affecting him and how sleazy the counsellor could get, but he really didn't want to think about that, particularly not when Meg, Lucas and Garth showed up in his mom's living room, all wearing colourful pajamas (probably Meg's idea as Lucas didn't look happy about the cupcakes printed on his set), party hats and lemonade. Meg would probably have gotten her hands on some alcohol, her parents really didn't care about what she did or what she took, but since Naomi was there as well, Meg hadn't brought the bottle of champagne which she whispered to Cas about while Naomi showed them the healthy, veggie snacks she had prepared for them.

“This ain't half bad,” Garth munched carrots with vegan curry dip.

“There's plenty more if you like. You're too thin, young man,” Naomi smiled and Cas rolled his eyes a bit about her sounding so much like a mother, feeling warm and fuzzy deep down at how far the both of them had already come.

Before this whole thing started, his mom had been slowly but surely growing haggard, constantly absent and unhappy. Now she was expressing contentment in her every movement, showing affection left and right and even though the shock of the recent developments sometimes surfaced, her life had greatly improved.

And for Cas, well... the person who had looked at him out of the bridal shop mirrors was someone new and surprisingly confident. That person had made a friend of Garth, and had sworn to himself to include him in more things he did with his friends, because that was after all what the lanky, tall kid had become by now.

He had also learned to distinguish between affection and attraction and that some people weren't good to be around, no matter how much you may secretly want their approval, or how much they fascinate you.

Chuck's death had no lasting effect on him, he had long left a gap that had been filled with other people, Dean the most. Not like a real father, but something that was somehow filling the void and also much more of what should have been Chuck's place. He wasn't angry at him for his weakness or his problems, not anymore, and he didn't blame himself for not being able to help him.

Balthazar on the other hand had shown him that some things in life were worth pursuing and others were not. A crush did not necessarily mean that you didn't love the person you were with and that you never had to lie to himself to keep love to someone pure and untainted by comparison to others. Relationships got messy sometimes, but if they were worth keeping and both people in them made an effort to grow together, that was all that mattered. Since Dean and him wanted to succeed, they had.

“Clarence, you're brooding. We're supposed to be having fun,” Meg interrupted his pensiveness by a kiss to the cheek and Cas wondered for a hazy second if there had been alcohol in her lemonade after all, but when he confiscated and sniffed her cup, there was no booze smell evaporating from it.

“What's up with you?” Cas patted her arm awkwardly while his mom popped an anime into the DVD player per Lucas' request, and since Cas didn't really have a preference to watch anything, he'd just shrugged when he'd been asked if it was ok to watch that.

“Nothing,” Meg shook her head, watching as Lucas leaned over to Naomi and began talking languidly about how cool this series was to her and Garth. “I guess I wish I could've given you a better bachelor party. With booze. And porn, since we're too young to go into a club and for you to stare at naked butts. But I made Dean promise that we can still do that once we're old enough. Although you'll be boring and married by then.”

“But I don't wanna...”

“Well, maybe I want to,” Meg sighed about the prospect of men as unattainable to her as the boy passionately talking about an animated series right now.

“That's what this is about?” Cas decidedly hugged Meg now, and she was laying her head on his shoulder with another sigh.

“A bit, maybe. He's just... nevermind. You're the queen of the evening, not me and my little problems.”

“Well, since I am the queen,” Cas adjusted his party hat in the gayest way he could, “I will have you tell me your cares, subject.”

“You're so full of shit,” Meg laughed loudly, but grew serious when Naomi frowned a little at the loud outburst. Quietly she went on: “It's like, he doesn't care. Like... I dunno. A block of ice. I don't mean to pry, but has he said anything?”

“Not really,” Cas whispered. It was the truth. He and Lucas hadn't talked about what had happened, the only thing Lucas replied when Cas asked how it had been was a simple: 'Good', and that had been it.

“Maybe he feels weird talking to me about it, because of...,” Cas trailed off, wondering if there was a breach between them now that he was on the verge of being Dean's forever and he hadn't even noticed it.

Meg nudged him a little to get his attention back again, her face expressing a gentle concern showing that she knew exactly what he was thinking right now.

“He just doesn't like to talk about stuff,” she assured the both of them. “But I won't guarantee not to drag him off to a dark corner when it's getting all romantic and shit,” she whispered, not wanting to incur Naomi's ill will if she heard her cursing again.

“I grant you permission. You may curtsey and leave,” Cas chuckled and Meg snorted out a short laugh as well, leaving the subject be for today, or so he hoped.

“You wanna show me your dress?” Meg whispered just as quietly as before, even though she really hadn't needed to, Garth now joining into the conversation with Naomi and Lucas as well, animatedly talking while Lucas just sat there, breathing in every word the guy said.

“That's where Dean is. I can't see him tonight,” Cas shook his head.

“Ah, c'mon Clarence. I'm dying to see it. Tell you what: I'll check where he is and when I give the all clear you come down and play model for me. Before you're ripped out of it with teeth and tears and stuff and I only get to see the wrecked and sullied version of it.”

“Don't,” Cas shook his head, not able to think about A) sex, and B) his perfectly fitted dress ruined. If there was anything getting wrecked during their wedding night, it was him but not that dress.

“Please,” Meg said simply.

Cas sighed and nodded, actually really happy to put it back on before the next evening, which he hadn't found the time to do after uncle Crowley had brought him the same white box as before with a saucy little smirk earlier today. He had decided to postpone putting it on till he was to wear it for his wedding night, but since Meg now insisted but seeing it, it seemed like a good idea to see himself in it again.

Meg went downstairs and then shot Cas a quick text that it was all clear, yet Cas was still absolutely nervous when he crept down the stairs and went into the master bedroom.

“O-m-g, it's that one there, right?” Meg excitedly pointed to the box sitting atop the dresser.

“Yeah, it is.”

“But why is it sitting there like that? Aren't you worried he's gonna open it?”

“He wouldn't.”

“Why not?”

“Because he promised,” Cas stated simply.

“That's...,” Meg considered it, ushering Cas and his box into the bathroom, closing the door in his face with a short command: “Dress!”, and while waiting outside finally coming up with a word to describe the utter trust between Cas and Dean.

“Love,” she sighed, just when Cas opened the door and then she squealed, her hands coming up in front of her mouth. “Holy flaming hell, you're stunning! Dump Dean immediately and marry me instead. I'll dress you up like a doll every day and encourage you to find cute guys to bring home.”

Cas chuckled, taking a few steps into the bigger room, turning for her and feeling incredibly sexy in the finally completely fitted dress. It was tighter across his chest now and he could practically feel his nipples hardening against the satin.

Meg was still slightly squealing when he walked into the room for her, turning around so she could see the entire thing before facing her again, beaming and almost floating from happiness.

Meg's expression suddenly slipped and she tugged at Cas roughly until he was back in the bathroom and she slammed the door shut.

“What the hell?” Cas knocked against the door, completely stunned and vaguely registering that there had been something else inside the white box, but he wasn't a leisure to explore it because his brain went full panic mode at Meg's next words.

“The door moved,” she hissed and to his horror, he heard Dean's voice a few seconds later.

“What are you doing here?”

“Nothing,” Meg lied.

“I don't believe you. What's that you're hiding in the bathroom?” Dean's steps came closer and Cas held the door knob in a death grip.

“No offence, Mister, but if you don't get your ass outta here, I will have to make you.”

“Oh really?” The challenge in Dean's voice made Cas' breath hitch and his mind wander all kinds of dirty places. “And can you tell me why you want to throw me out of my own bedroom?” Dean sounded vaguely amused at the threat the young girl who was at least two heads smaller than him.

“Official, yet very secretive Maid of honour's duty. Get the fuck out before I force you.”

“Is Cas in there?” Dean came even closer, Cas now noticing longing in the older man's voice.

“No, he's not. I am just guarding the bathroom so you don't defile it till tomorrow. The whole house is ready and clean. You're too messy to be let in there,” by now, Meg sounded as if she was smiling and Dean answered in the like fashion.

“What if I have to take a leak? Will I have to tie a knot in it if I need to go?”

“Yep, you will have to,” Meg tried to sound threatening but snorted towards the end.

“Well, I'll just go outside then. Tell the bathroom I love it, ok? And that I can't wait to see it all in white tomorrow.”

“The bathroom knows and wants you to know that it loves you too. And the toilet wants you to know that it's already white. And that it wants to stay that way until tomorrow,” Meg said and Cas imagined her adding a wink to her words when she finished speaking.

“A'right. You can relax now, I won't see the bathroom tonight. And have a good night. That goes for the bathroom as well. Sweet dreams, baby.”

“Sweet dreams, love,” Cas whispered into the wood of the door. “I'll see you tomorrow.”

Meg opened the bathroom door, still grinning: “I demand a knighthood, your majesty. I shoved you before he even saw you and I deserve a damn medal for my smoothness.”

“I'll offer my first-born if that's what you want,” Cas chuckled, but Meg cringed a little.

“In a way... that'd be Lucas...”

“Yeah, in a way,” Cas nodded, pulling her into another hug.

He wasn't all that tactile most of the time, but with some people it was just easy to establish contact, Meg being one of them.

She sneaked down the hall again, checking if Dean was out there and waved Cas out with a snicker. Both stopped short when they heard something in Lucas' room when they were about three steps out the bedroom.

“Go back,” Meg mouthed and went to check it out, Cas' head peeking out of the bedroom door to see her quietly opening the door.

Cas couldn't see what happened because she had her back turned to him, but when she turned and walked briskly into the other direction, Cas had a million of questions about what was going on and more so when they were back upstairs and found only his mom there, collecting some dirty dishes and going into the kitchen, leaving them alone once more, with game show on TV instead of the anime that had been on before.

“Where are-?” Cas started but Meg sat down swiftly, crossing her arms and staring at the TV screen.

“In Lucas' room. They're busy.”

“Busy doing what?” Cas asked.

“You know what,” she said, her arms appearing to lock even tighter.

“You don't mean...”

“Yeah, I _do_ mean that. Please, let's just not talk about it, ok?” she frowned and curled up against him, concentrating on the mindless questions that were to get the candidate 50 bucks for a start.

“Whatever you need. Just one thing: Was it like... uh...” Cas' words trailed off.

“Full on, ok?” she mumbled, her voice displaying anger.

“Oh,” Cas mumbled back stupidly, trying to come to terms with what was going on right now. He'd have to talk to Lucas, and he'd have to let Dean know.

“Are they coming back?” Cas asked his mom when she strolled back into the room, actual chips and chocolate in her arms.

She shook her head. “Lucas said he wanted to show Garth one of his games. You know what he's like. We can be happy if he doesn't fall asleep during the ceremony tomorrow because he played the whole night.”

“Yeah,” Cas nodded, barely knowing what he was agreeing to.

Lucas doing stuff with two different people, within a month? In what world was that like him? And given that Meg was even cuddlier than before, she was obviously affected by what was happening.

Cas shook himself a little. Time to put that into the 'to be opened as Cas Winchester' box, along with his therapy sessions, people's reactions and just about everything else, because he really didn't want to think about that for much longer. He needed sleep and brooding wouldn't help him.

All he wanted to think about was that Meg had been his shield maiden twice today, helping him keep up with a tradition he wanted to uphold and sheltering him from seeing his best friend do stuff he didn't want to see him do.

He handed her the box of chocolate his mom had brought and the three of them had a pretty standard evening with switching channels during commercial breaks and forgetting to tune in for the reveal of the game show questions until they got so annoyed by having to google the answers, they settled for a nineties romantic comedy that gave them all the excuse to cry a little.

 

“You excited about tomorrow?” Meg whispered when they had turned out the lights and had gotten comfortable, each taking one end of Naomi's new L-shaped couch, putting their heads together.

“Excited isn't really the right word.”

“Nearly shitting yourself with excitement, but also terrified?”

“Yeeeah,” Cas dragged the word out a little.

“Don't worry, everyone is gonna stare at you and cry.”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

“No, it's to prepare you. No need to sugar coat it, Clarence. It's gonna be wonderful either way. Your prefect day.”

“Hope so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more chapter. I think I'm gonna get it done within the next three days, but don't quote me on that. ;) 
> 
> And do you want me to address the Lucas thing a little during the next chapter, or can you stand waiting for explanations until the sequel?


	45. Chapter 45

Cas found the time to have a conversation with Lucas about the events of the last day while they were dressing for the ceremony and Cas' nerves were threadbare.

“So what did you and Garth get up to last night?”

“Well, you know. Sex, and stuff,” Lucas shrugged as if what he'd done last night held less weight than a feather.

“So you're... _something_ now?” Cas asked, shocked how Lucas could care so little.

“Nah. Just tried both now, so I don't need to do either again.”

“Oh,” Cas nodded, not even pretending he could understand the mind set that produced an opinion like this, and he had only one question left: “What about Meg? See saw you.”

“So?” Lucas asked, trying to tie his tie and getting frustrated because he couldn't get it right.

“Well,” Cas walked over and showed him how. “Don't you think you might have hurt her a little?”

“Did I?” Lucas asked, blinking and looking rueful.

“Yeah, kinda. You know she likes you, right?”

“I like her too. I just don't feel the attachment thing. You know?”

“I know. Still though.”

“So will this stop soon? You know I can't give her what she wants.”

“Don't ask me, bro. I have no idea if this ever stops. Given what I'm about to do, I sure hope the liking someone will never stop.”

“Well, if it does, I'll kick your ass, bro. If you hurt my dad in any way, you're dead. Same goes the other way around by the way. He does something you don't like, you let me know,” Lucas grinned and then looked past Cas, not really registering Naomi coming into the room in a full-length airy light blue dress, her hair all pulled up into a bun, but probably thinking about what he had said just now and how it might relate to Meg and him.

“Mom, you look absolutely beautiful.”

“Thank you, Castiel,” she smiled.

“Well, she ought to,” Crowley marched into the room, a curling iron and other things Cas couldn't put a name to, sticking out of the huge box he lumped in with him. “I spent an hour on her hair and make up. Now you, young men.”

“I'm finished,” Lucas clapped his suit and turned around like a model, then wanting to escape, but Crowley held onto his arm in a vice grip and wrestled him onto Naomi's couch without much effort and as Cas was pleased to find, without wrinkling the suit.

“You're finished when I say you are,” Crowley fumed.

“Yessir,” Lucas blinked and held still while Crowley flattened his hair which he hadn't even bothered to comb through today and, since Lucas took after his uncle and wore it pretty long, looked like an unruly birds nest before Crowley attended to it.

“Now you at least look halfway decent,” he was satisfied when Lucas' hair looked straight and glossy, somehow having enough volume now not to hide half his face like it sometimes did.

Lucas didn't seem happy at all not to be able to disappear behind his hair anymore and reached out to muss it up immediately, but Crowley slapped his hand sharply.

“If I see you doing that again, you'll not get any food today.”

Lucas nodded, looking terrified and scuttled over to Naomi while an amused Cas was now next in line of being made ready.

“I think with you, I don't have much chance of making your mop of hair all neat and tidy, so we're going the opposite direction and make it look like it's meant to be unruly.”

“Thanks, uncle Crowley,” Cas smiled, bowing his head down a little so Crowley could go through it with product.

“That is how you behave yourself,” Crowley turned his head to glare at Lucas, before turning back to Cas.

“Make up?”

“Can you make it discreet?”

“Dollface, you're talking to a trained make up artist and wedding planner. It's like I'd have asked you if you could swim.”

“Sorry,” Cas blinked, letting Crowley apply all sorts of stuff he couldn't put a name to either but was probably concealer or foundation, but when he showed him his face in a mirror, he looked exactly like always, only his skin looked somehow smoother and had a healthy shine to it.

“You're a genius.”

“And that even without me having to force you to say it,” Crowley grinned, putting a hand on his heart, imitating beating. “Now if you'll excuse me, I still have a moose and a grumpy groom to make pretty.”

Cas chuckled nervously, imagining Dean looked panicked and shifty when Crowley got out the powder puff, but he had no doubt that Crowley wouldn't take no for an answer and get Dean all presentable too. Cas imagined him not having slept all that well, bags under his eyes and when he suddenly felt his mom's hands on his arm, he looked up with a question drawn on his brow.

“It's not time yet, honey,” she smiled, and Cas looked around confused, now noticing that he had gotten up, his feet having carried him into the direction of the stairs already without having realised it. “But Lucas, you can go down already, advise people to their seats.”

“Why? It's just gonna be the family anyway. They know where they're gotta sit.”

Cas nodded, thinking about how pathetic it was that only Meg, Benny and Alfie were technically non-family guests today. During the remainder of the time he had to wait to go down, Cas' thoughts spun around in circles.

He was Dean's secret sexy bunny, just for him and no one from his work would come. That was somehow good, and somehow bad. Remind yourself it's sexy that they aren't here and it's all secretive. Breathe. Stop getting hard, you'll ruin your suit. But you're marrying him, but it's all secretive, but... but... but...

And once he'd reached that point, he'd start the circle again, sometimes variating it with thoughts about what the Winchesters were thinking about today and if they were happy about it.

“Cas?” Crowley's voice ripped him out of his musings.

“Huh?” he was grateful for the interruption until he saw his uncle's uncharacteristically serious face.

“I have some semi-bad news for you. Dean is ok,” he uttered both sentences in one breath, twiddling his phone in his hands.

“Okay,” Cas nodded, waiting for the rest.

“The clerical officiant isn't coming. He said he wouldn't do it after all. You would've thought he'd voice his doubts about this sooner, but...” Crowley seemed to bite his tongue about something, but Cas was pretty sure he knew what had been the hold up and that his church wasn't as liberal as he had thought at first. It seemed like Cas Winchester would start his new life ex-communicated, which was really something he should've considered happening.

“Oh. But the official one is coming?”

“Yes, he's already here. They're taking their spots. Everything else is going according to plan,” Crowley still looked fidgety.

“What else is it?”

“Our babies are coming,” Crowley flipped the phone over again. “We'll probably have to leave right after the ceremony.”

“That's amazing,” Cas smiled, getting up and feeling like he was completely made of putty as he hugged his uncle.

“It's damn unfortunate timing,” Crowley shook his head, clapping the boy's back to let go before his suit crumpled.

“No, it's perfect. I want us to go and see them once we're done here.”

“No, you don't have to. This is your day.”

“Exactly. And I can't imagine something I'd rather do than go and see two new members of my family. We can all go there, right? Welcome them?”

“Of course, if that's what you'd like to do. Dean immediately suggested going too,” his uncle revealed now that Cas had made up his mind about it. “This is all wrong though. We have a schedule to follow. It's not the perfect day anymore,” Crowley appeared really fidgety again so Cas laid a calming hand on his arm.

“On the contrary. It couldn't be more perfect. I'm really happy. But can I please get married now?”

“Of course,” Crowley wiped his eyes, nodding at Lucas to go downstairs and let them know it was all happening now.

Meg came up the stairs two minutes after him and Cas imagined him having to tell her that it was time and wondered how that had gone.

“No salmon dress, right?” Cas chuckled nervously.

“Nope,” she grinned, her light green dress swinging as he came in, fastening a white gardenia to Cas' suit, plain black with white shirt, just like Dean's.

“How is he?” he whispered when she adjusted the little bouquet of the same flowers she was to carry while walking in.

“Got a serious case of nerves that you're not coming down. Or that you want to go see the babies without marrying him first. Like that would happen,” she chuckled, flattening Cas' suit around the shoulder area.

“Right,” Crowley tried to take control of the situation, and probably his own nerves as well. “T minus 2 for Cas. Meg, you go in one,” he disappeared down the stairs.

“Ok,” Meg chuckled nervously. “Ain't about me today, but I don't wanna trip either. See you in a tick.”

She filed out, like almost everyone so far.

“Are you ready?” Naomi asked, looping her arm through her son's and slowly starting their way after everyone.

“Yeah, just don't let me fall. Or run too fast.”

“We'll manage. Always have.”

“That's true,” he took her hand as she escorted him out into the white pavilion that Crowley had magicked up and smiled at the assembled guests all risen from their white chairs, but inevitably his gaze was drawn towards Dean standing out front, Sam and Benny by his side, Meg and Lucas standing by the still empty place that was meant to be Cas'.

Naomi held him steady as they moved past the guests and he mumbled a small: “Thanks, mom,” when she handed him over to Dean.

Meeting Dean's eyes had never been harder for him then now. Before they started doing stuff, or even before he teased him all the time, he'd felt like this. Not being able to meet the older man's eye without a blush was just so like middle school Cas when he'd first visited Lucas and felt his heart racing when he'd seen Dean for the first time.

This felt exactly like back then, only this time Dean was already focusing on him, and just him, not as a gangly kid who couldn't string two words together without being overwhelmed by him, but as his equal and his partner.

“Already crying and it hasn't even started yet,” Dean whispered, taking out a tissue and dabbing it at Cas' eyes which he hadn't even noticed watering, before taking up the single tear he himself was crying now.

“Ready?” he whispered, trying to smile and Cas only nodded as they turned to face each other and took their final places, everyone behind them sitting down, except for Benny who was taping the whole ceremony on a video camera and for such big man, he was so very silent and stealthy in his movements that they hardly noticed him moving around them.

The words of the officiant were pretty standard and Cas heard only half of them, completely drawn in by the man next to him that he only just managed to focus long enough to get his 'I do' out.

He chuckled out a shaky breath when they exchanged rings and were declared to be married.

“Mine,” Dean whispered into his ear once they exchanged their first kiss as a married couple and hugged each other tight, Dean's hand cradling the back of Cas' neck for a minute before their guests started to come to them, congratulating them all at once.

  


After a toast, orange juice for the kids, champagne for the grown ups, Bobby and Crowley excused themselves to go to the hospital before anyone else and give them a rough estimate on how long they had time to celebrate before they'd be able to see the babies.

Before Crowley left he'd handed the schedule to Meg and put her in charge of getting the food on the table which the caterers had delivered while the ceremony was ongoing.

“I might do this all the time,” she smiled happily, effectively ignoring Lucas next to Cas while she opened the buffet for everyone. “Of course, I'll have to work with Crowley then. Urgh.”

“Not the worst job you could have,” Cas winked as Dean and him loaded up their plates with a bit of everything there was.

“I would prefer a burger,” Dean grumbled as he ate french potato salad. “I can do the fancy dining and stuff, but...”

“I know, you'd rather have a sandwich. And I'd rather see you eat a sandwich,” Cas chuckled, somehow nostalgic given the occasion and looking back on things he'd thought before they'd gotten together. Dean's way of eating like it could be his last meal and he way he always moaned around stuff he really liked making Cas smile dopily as Dean poked a piece of potato as if it had done him bodily harm.

“What is it?” he smiled at Cas, the potato sliding down his fork, too distracted by staring.

“I'm just really happy, that's all.”

“Me too,” Dean grinned and ate the potato with more enthusiasm now.

“Uncle Crowley said you were happy to go and see the babies if they are born today, right?” Cas leaned in to ask, holding Dean's hand and trying not to look too dopey, although he felt like he was floating on air.

“Yeah, but only if they're there before nightfall. If they need longer than that, no dice. We're _so_ gonna consummate this marriage tonight.”

“And tomorrow morning, noon, afternoon and night,” Cas added.

“Ambitious,” Dean smirked, and kissed Cas happily, their guests cheering for them until they parted their mouths with a blush.

They ate for a while longer, Meg bringing out a barbeque next and Dean groaned about having eaten potatoes when there was meat, but admitted that Crowley had planned this very cleverly to make sure anyone except the vegetarians would eat some healthy food first.

Cas smiled while he watched Dean devour two helpings of grilled stuff, taking the time to admire the 12 guests that were still here, sitting on tables that had been moved to the side for the ceremony, but brought out for the lunch part of the day.

It was definitely a small assembly, but it didn't really matter because all the people that Cas and Dean cared about were there.

After everyone had eaten, Meg got a call from Crowley that the babies were there and they could come to see them if they wanted, so she filled two tupperware containers for the new parents, because they most likely hadn't eaten anything and had the others help put the rest in the fridge. There weren't all that many left overs, Crowley's calculations for food had been to the point.

“Shame we have to leave before the cake though,” Dean stared at the cake in it's own cooling box longingly and at the food that was gonna be their dinner today, but Cas just patted his husband's fully filled stomach.

“Later. You and me, and two extra slices of cake in bed.”

“Sounds perfect. But we still gotta do the cutting bit. It's tradition.”

“Just like it's shaping up to be our tradition to go to hospitals,” Cas chuckled as they got into the Impala, and even though they weren't driving towards a honeymoon destination it still felt like a rite/ride of passage and Cas understood the symbolism behind going away to be alone with each other.

“Ah, but this time it's neither of us going to the hospital to see the other, but we're going together, and not because of an accident.”

“That's much better,” Cas smiled, kissing Dean before they got out of the car and walked into the hospital, the rest of their family following them in.

  


“I didn't know this was a formal occasion,” the attending nurse quipped, grunting out a laugh about her own hilarity as they passed her to gather outside of the room Crowley had told Meg over the phone and see two middle aged men holding tiny human bundles, tears rolling uncontrollably into Bobby's beard and Crowley's eyes treacherously red-rimmed.

There were more congratulations as they filed into the room in pairs or threes to see the babies.

“They look like aliens,” Lucas blurted out when he went in with Dean and Cas.

“Dean, love. Would you mind slapping your son for me?” Crowley rumbled.

“Not at all,” Dean gave back and smacked the back of Lucas' head, neither really giving a damn about Lucas' hair anymore.

“Cheers,” Crowley glared.

“Never tell parents that their babies look weird, ok? No matter how true it may be,” Dean taught Lucas.

“What are their names?” Cas asked.

“We've thought of Josephine and Jodelia. Josie and Jodie for short,” Bobby mumbled, the ting infant on his arm opening her mouth with a small huff before settling again.

“She likes it,” Cas smiled. “They're very beautiful.”

“Thanks. See, that's how you do it, no matter how weird newborns may look,” Crowley smiled but his words had a certain sting as he looked at Lucas again, and Cas clearly felt like he wasn't the only one floating on air today no matter how gruff Crowley expressed himself sometimes.

Crowley had always wanted children, that much he knew. From what he'd heard though, Bobby had needed some convincing before agreeing to become parents because he felt like he wouldn't do a good job although everyone assured him he'd do fine.

Cas took Dean's hand when they went out again, smiling at Benny and Alfie who went in next. They didn't really belong to the family, but wanted to congratulate them nonetheless.

“What are you thinking about, baby?” Dean whispered into Cas' ear, pulling him into a hug while the others went in to look at the babies.

“Did you see that Alfie is wearing a collar today?” he whispered, having seen the pink thing peek out of the older boy's collar.

“Yeah, he's in little mode today. Benny told me before you came down.”

Cas breathed Dean's scent in contently, watching as the other couple came back out and the unison that he had noticed between them still being there, even though Alfie seemed less focused and more childish today, Benny was totally balancing him.

  


“There are all sorts of relationships, aren't there?” Cas observed when they left the hospital two hours later, taking Crowley and Bobby with them again because the twins still needed to stay in for the next few days and they still had dinner to eat and a cake to cut.

“What's this about?” Dean looked at him, wanting to understand what Cas meant.

“I dunno. You become lovers, get to know and trust each other, marry. Become parents. It's all coming full circle today, doesn't it?”

“It does,” Dean kissed his hand. “Are you still happy?”

“As happy as I ever was.”

“Even with so much not going as planned today?”

“The only thing that really mattered today is you and me becoming one and we managed that. Everything else is just a bonus. And come on, Dean. When has our life ever been boring or been going according to plan?”

“I guess never,” Dean chuckled.

“Then you would be guessing right.”

 

The party evening was pretty relaxing and mostly about sharing embarrassing stories about both grooms, Cas' more on the side of childhood moments he'd have liked to forget about. The stories about Dean were almost exclusively detailed by Sam, with occasional short anecdotes from Benny as well.

Meg took charge of the music in the tent, but since there were only so few of them, it would have felt weird to force them all to dance. It was a pretty festive evening anyway, Crowley's decorations had done their best to make it more like a wedding because otherwise this wouldn't have been much different from the Easter family meeting they had, but luckily still much different from 'the abominable Christmas'.

Cas saw Mary talk to Alfie and Benny for a very long while, and he hoped she'd understand their life style much better after today.

Sam seemed genuinely happy and when he wasn't busy chasing after his sons or telling humorous stories, he was at ease. Now that there was no chance that his brother would go to jail over being with Cas, the relief he felt was palpable in everything he said and did.

After cutting the cake and eating one slice each, they excused themselves finally, taking two more slices like they had wanted and closed the bedroom door behind them.

“Finally alone,” Cas sighed, stripping off his suit which had gotten uncomfortable after hours of wearing it, until he saw the white box sitting on the dresser and his hands nervously fumbled on the buttons of his shirt.

“You can put it on tomorrow if it's too much for you now,” Dean rubbed his neck and through the simple gesture alone, Cas felt himself getting more nervous, holding his open shirt closed which made him feel like a terrified virgin. As soon as he thought that, he even got slightly shaky.

“No, I want to. It's just...”

“Yeah, I know. It's special. I'll uh... wait out here while you get ready?”

“Yeah,” Cas nodded, taking his box with him and locked himself in the bathroom.

“I should not be this nervous, we've done this a thousand times,” he mumbled when he got the dress out and chuckled nervously when he finally saw what else uncle Crowley had packed in there for him.

“You alright in there?” Dean sounded nervous when Cas hopped around for the fifth time or so grunting and cursing, trying to get everything where it belonged and the effect it had on him was immediate once it was all in place and he could put the dress on.

“I'm fine,” he told Dean, straightening his hair and smiling at himself one last time before he swished back into the bedroom.

“You're still dressed,” he stated a little disappointed, but then grew quiet when Dean's breath hitched and he got up from the side of the bed he'd been sitting on.

“So are you,” he nearly whispered in awe, coming close while staring openly at what Cas was wearing, softly brushing against Cas' cheek once he got close enough, thumping against his bottom lip before taking his hands and leaning him further into the room.

“What are you doing?” Cas whispered, when instead of being peeled out of his dress, he only felt a strong hand weaving around his waist and another holding onto his hand, still pulling him, until Dean could press a button on the stereo.

“Well, since we haven't danced yet, we should really do that now,” he smiled, the hand on Cas' back creeping up over the lace straps in the back as he started swaying them around.

“Led Zeppelin? Not the wedding waltz?” Cas was nervous again. He'd never danced with Dean before and it felt incredibly intimate to be pressed up against him, feeling his warmth and smelling the faint traces of aftershave he'd put on this morning.

“Shhh, they got some really melody based things, ok? Just enjoy the moment.”

“Yeah, I will,” Cas sighed, laying his head on Dean's chest and spinning a little more, fully content and actually glad that no one saw them doing this, because he was tripping over his hem sometimes but it didn't matter because Dean had him in such a firm hold that he felt secure and like he was really just where he belonged.

“We should do this more often,” Dean mumbled, kissing the top of Cas' head and looping his arms around him with a sigh to get him even closer.

“You're gonna teach me to dance?” Cas chuckled, tripping again and Dean steadying him once more.

“Yeah.”

“But not right now...” Cas smiled, looking up and again being nervous on how to initiate a kiss now. This had been so much easier when the lust he felt for Dean was guiding his actions. This slow and gentle movement and Dean's deliberate ten second waiting time before he leaned down and finally kissed Cas heightened everything he had not thought could possibly get more intense. But as Dean slowly peeled him out of the dress, not by using the zipper which would have been fast and efficient but by loosening the straps in the back, the slow and teasing way, Cas felt like the center of his attention and like he was the most precious thing in the world to him.

His breath hitched as Dean had finally got the torso part open and teased his finger tips over his back.

“What...,” he was slightly frowning as he helped Cas pull the dress over his head and when he saw what was underneath his eyes grew wide and his pupils dilated.

“I think we need to write uncle Crowley the longest thank you note known to man,” Cas chuckled as Dean explored his body with careful fingers as if he'd break the lace baby doll otherwise. Or the stockings, the panties or the garter with which Cas had especially struggled in the bathroom earlier.

“Cas?”

“Yeah?” the boy could hardly breathe because his heart rate had increased so much under Dean's intense gaze.

“You're wearing white.”

“Yeah,” Cas wetted his lips, the obvious statement about the colour of the things he was wearing increasing the moment, not breaking it, as Cas fumbled with the buttons of Dean's shirt while the older man got all the rest pf his clothes off.

Dean's movements were hasty, but Cas took his time, looking into his eyes as undid the tie and Dean moaned hungrily when Cas finally pulled it off him, shedding the shirt while Dean already backed him onto the bed.

“How d'you wanna do this?” he rasped, cupping Cas' already filled dick through the lace panties he wore.

“Keep everything on that isn't in the way,” Cas moaned and bucked into the touch, his arms around Dean's shoulders as he hopped onto him, Dean pulling the panties down in the back and searching blindly for the lube on the nightstand, the two plates of cake he'd put next to it forgotten for the time being.

“You wanna ruin them with me?” Dean asked, slicking up and starting to pump fingers into Cas, who worked alongside him, thrusting himself up and down on the intrusion.

“I'm gonna have an indefinite amount of panties during the rest of my life and these ones are specifically for tonight, so yes, I want us to ruin them.”

Dean chuckled nervously, working on Cas' hole more while never stopping to stare at the boy, or to brush over the pretty things he was wearing.

“You're so beautiful, baby,” he mumbled in awe as he snapped the stocking holders playfully and Cas gasped, turned on and desperately ready for sex.

“Thank you, Daddy.” He blushed as he pulled Dean's head closer, whispering into his mouth: “Now put it in already,” before kissing him hungrily, wrapping his stockinged legs around Dean's hips harder, propping himself up until he could finally adjust to the thick length of Dean's cock throbbing inside him.

“Hmm, yes,” Cas moaned, rolling his hips, bouncing in Dean's lap and putting Dean's hand on his aching erection, guiding his rubs over himself.

“No, babe. Don't come yet,” Dean shook his hand and turned them around until Cas found himself lying on his back in the middle of the bed, Dean climbing back onto him and bending his legs open, thrusting back in and holding his thighs as he moved slightly.

“Just like the first time, you remember?” he said while he put a pillow under Cas' hips, and the boy tried to adjust but he was still too slim to fit his open legs around Dean comfortably.

“I remember,” Cas gasped out, if he couldn't hook his legs around him, he could at least hook his arms around Dean and pour him right into himself. “I'll always remember.”

Dean fucked him with a slow, gentle rhythm, less frenzied than most of their times together had been, but still and inevitably making them both reach the breaking point.

Cas' legs twitched as he creamed his panties, Dean's hand rubbing him steadily, getting coated in come, and Dean following him right after, hot and perfectly deep inside him.

“Lift those gorgeous hips up, baby,” Dean panted, pulling the panties back up so that when his come started to leak back out of Cas it stained the back of his panties while they were cuddling on the bedspread, their hearts racing in tune.

“I love you, baby. And I want you to know, whatever happens wand wherever we might end up, I'm very glad you seduced me.”

“I love you too, Daddy. And I'm really glad about you wanting me enough to go for it, against all odds and against all logic. I will be by your side, forever.”

“Who needs to exchange vows in front of everybody when we can do it just between us, mhm?” Dean smiled.

“And who needs everyone to see that I can't dance when we can do that together and you holding me is the only thing that matters in the end?” Cas sighed contently as Dean climbed off and spooned himself against his back, once again playing over the lacy fabric Cas was wearing until the boy felt ready to purr and go again, content and wanting nothing else than just to be close for some endless minutes.

“I'm very glad I'm the guy who's lucky enough to see you like this,” Dean smiled, tweaking Cas' nipples hard under the lacy baby doll.

“And I'm very glad you gave me enough confidence to let you see me like this,” Cas cantered his hips up, rubbing Dean's cock with let fabric over his bubble butt. “While you're with me, I can take on everything.”

“But not tonight,” Dean shook his head a little, his hands tracing every bit of Cas they could reach. “Tonight it's just you and me.”

“Yes,” Cas moaned into the pillow, biting into it as he felt Dean inside himself once again. This was gonna be the best night of his entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overlength last chapter because I simply couldn't keep it short. Anyways, this is the end (for now). 
> 
> I'm gonna do a bottom!Dean timestamp to this during the hiatus between this story and the second long one of the trilogy but I really gotta focus on other projects with deadlines now and on the other things that I already started uploading but which were on the backburner for too long. If you're not comfortable with the timestamp oneshot that is coming up, you can feel completely free to ignore it ever happening. This is a bottom!Cas verse and will stay being one, but I figure he's gonna test it the other way around as well to know how it feels like. Bottom!Cas only readers will not miss out on anything story relevant if they skip the timestamp.
> 
> Righty then, I think I don't have much more to say, except that it was an amazing (and almost a year long) journey to get to this point and I'm still in awe about the reception of this. The numbers in the upper box are completely mental, y'all. I hope to see some of you again when the next part starts, or during any other thing I write if you like the looks of it. Love, peace, hugs and thanks for everything.


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